Chapter Eighteen
By the time they were settled into a booth at Gavin’s, Grace felt like Spider might be right. She was in danger of keeling over from exhaustion. Once Gavin had brought their beers, Oscar reached across the table and took hold of her hand. “You look wiped out.”
“I am.”
“It’s been a long week, we’ve achieved a lot, but it’s been twice as hard for you. You’ve had to go work for Harry all day.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
He smiled. “That I’ll be glad when you’re finished there.”
She pursed her lips. She wanted to yell at him, but she knew he meant well; he just didn’t understand. “I’ll probably be just as tired then, I won’t be working all day, I’ll be pounding the streets looking for work instead.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
She scowled. “I don’t have a big fat savings account I can live on for a while. This is me you’re talking to remember, not one of your other friends.”
He smiled but didn’t say anything.
“What?”
“You think of us as friends?”
“Yeah. I do.” She’d been able to come to terms with that over the course of the last week. At first, she’d thought he would disappear after they had sex; that was all he wanted women for. She knew now she’d been wrong about that. He’d stepped in to save the center. He’d spent every moment she could spare with her. They worked well together at the center, and they worked even better together in bed every night afterward. He’d been as good to her as anyone had ever been, and that had helped her relax around him. She’d let him into her inner circle—which was very small. She was under no illusions about a relationship with him—she’d told the truth when she’d told his mom that neither of them was looking for one of those—but she had come to see him, and to trust him, as a friend. A thought struck her. Maybe his smile was amusement at her assumption. “Don’t you?”
He shrugged. “Maybe.”
Oh. Her heart sank, and a ball of disappointment settled in her stomach. He didn’t then. Maybe she was just a perk of the project. He’d told her he threw himself one hundred percent into everything he did. Maybe she was just one element of the center that he was doing well.
Gavin returned with their meatloaf and gave them an inquiring look. Oscar shook his head slightly, and Gavin backed away without a word.
“I’m sorry.” Grace had recovered enough to get past the awkwardness. He didn’t owe her a damned thing. He certainly didn’t owe her friendship. “I really am beat.” She dropped her gaze to her plate and set to work on her food.
They ate in silence for a while until Oscar set his fork down and looked at her. “I don’t know if this is the wrong time to bring this up, but how would you feel about working at the center?”
She met his gaze. “What do you think I’ve been doing?”
“I mean, taking a job, with a salary. Becoming an employee of the nonprofit.”
She stared at him for a long a moment, then carried on eating while she thought about it. The part of her that had, at various points over the last few weeks, dreamed about being in a real relationship with him, railed against the idea. She couldn’t take a job from him. She couldn’t be dependent on him for her living. It’d be all wrong. Another part of her, the part that had ensured her survival in a cruel world was nodding. It made sense. She knew how to run the place. She did it well. It’d give her the time to dedicate to making the place a success. She’d love to spend her days serving the community and making sure they were taken care of—especially if it meant she’d be able to take care of herself by getting paid for it. Eventually, she looked up. “Have you brought this up with the others yet?”
“No. I wanted to ask you first.”
“Well, I think we should establish a real committee, and I think you should run it by them.”
“And if they agree, you’ll do it?”
“Yeah. It makes sense.” It really did make sense, even though to her it meant that she and Oscar would never have any kind of relationship. Not a real one. She’d keep sleeping with him until he lost interest. But he didn’t even see her as a friend. And even if he wanted to—which she now knew was a crazy idea—he could never be her boyfriend and her boss.
He smiled, but he still looked concerned. “Are you sure you’re okay with it?”
“If you are.” She wondered if he might say something—about the two of them—but he didn’t.
When they got back to his place, he backed her up against the door as soon as they went inside. She was tired, and she was sad that her little fantasy about them being friends really was nothing more than a fantasy. The feel of his arms around her and the weight of his body leaning against her still felt like coming home. She needed to get over that. Whatever that pull between them was, it obviously meant nothing to him. Still, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. Wanting to feel for a moment that she belonged somewhere, that she belonged here, with him. Even though she knew it wasn’t true, the warm feeling still washed over her, and she clung to him.
His hands which had been roving over her back and her ass stilled. He sensed the change in her, and she felt it in him too. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close to his chest. “I wish I understood you, Grace.”
She let out a bitter little laugh, which sounded a lot like a sob. “Ditto.”
He leaned back and hooked his thumb under her chin, forcing her to look up into her eyes.
“Did I do something wrong, Gracie?”
Her breath caught in her throat. Spider called her Gracie, Terry called her Gracie, lots of people did but hearing him say it was too much. That feeling that filled the air between them that filled her up whenever he was close threatened to overflow and engulf her. He sounded so tender, so caring. She had to remember that it was no doubt just part of his repertoire. She shook her head. “No. You really didn’t.”
She could tell he didn’t believe her, but he let it go.
“Can we just go to bed?”
He took her hand and led her through to his bedroom. She was amazed how quickly she’d felt at home here. She, the girl who’d slept in alleys and under bridges had adapted, without issue, to sleeping in a bedroom that was bigger than Louise’s entire apartment. She no longer found it strange to walk on the marble floor or to get ready in his dressing room in the morning. She just hoped that her transition back to her own reality would go as quickly and easily once this was over.
He sat down on the edge of the bed and drew her to him. “Do you want to just go to sleep?”
She nodded. She didn’t, but if he was suggesting it, then he couldn’t be that hot for her tonight. It was hardly surprising; she knew she must look like crap. She was so tired.
When they were both in bed, he turned out the light and rolled over to kiss her cheek. “I care about you, Grace. I hope you know that.”
She held her breath for a moment. She didn’t even know what that meant to him. He didn’t see her as a friend, but he cared about her? Maybe she was a charity project to him, like the center. She bit her lip to stop herself thinking that way. It was stupid. He meant well, that was all she needed to know.
She kissed his cheek and looked at him, glad for the darkness so he couldn’t see her face. “I care about you, too.”
He wrapped his arm around her and held her close. Once again, the warmth of contentment swept through her. How could she feel so close and connected when he felt nothing? Well, he cared for her.
The warmth of something more than contentment began to build between her legs. She might be exhausted, but she wasn’t made of stone. His strong arm was around her, her breasts were pushed up against his chest, and she was sure that if she edged forward a little, she’d feel the heat of his thick hard shaft.
She couldn’t resist. She did edge forward—and she was right. She brought her hand up and caressed his face, then threaded her fingers through his hair.
“I thought you were too tired,” he murmured, even though she could feel him growing bigger as she ran her fingers down his neck.
“So did I, but I want you so much. I’ll never get to sleep unless we …”
He propped himself up on one elbow and ran a finger down her cheek. Then he traced her jawline and continued down her throat and between her breasts. “How about you lie back and let me do the work then?”
She smiled. “It’d be my pleasure.”
“I’ll make sure of it.”
~ ~ ~
Oscar knew he could give her all the pleasure she could handle, physically. He’d hoped that they were getting closer, too, but she’d gone cold on him tonight, and he thought he knew why. At dinner when she’d said she thought of him as a friend, he’d screwed up. She’d asked if he thought of her as a friend and he hadn’t wanted to say yes. He’d started to think of her as more than a friend. He was now convinced that his mom was right—that Grace was his person. The one he was supposed to be with. It was so far out of left field that it made him edgy, but he knew it was true.
His attempt at letting her know that he thought of her as more than a friend had backfired on him. His answer of maybe had pissed her off. That was the only explanation. She’d changed after that. Maybe she’d felt like he was pressuring her. He didn’t know. All he knew was that she hadn’t been receptive.
He cupped her cheek in his hand and looked down at her. It was dark enough that he couldn’t see her face clearly, but he knew she was looking back into his eyes. Maybe with time, she’d learn to love him? He wasn’t about to give up. He’d slow down, win her over, do whatever it took.
Right now, he had the opportunity to love her, and he wasn’t going to waste another minute stuck inside his head. If he had his way, he’d love her hard every night until she loved him back.
He walked his fingers down over her ribs and then slid them over the curve of her belly and between her legs. As he stroked her, she sighed, and her arms came up around his neck. “Fuck me, Oscar.”
He was glad she couldn’t see his smirk in the dark. He loved that she was so blunt, and he was only too happy to oblige. She was already wet for him, and his cock was straining to be inside her, He positioned himself above her, and her arms came up around his back.
“Hard,” she breathed.
He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, wanting to take it slow, to be tender. Her fingernails sank into his ass, and he gasped as his hips thrust hard and he plunged deep, making her gasp with him.
She grazed her nails up his back and then back down before digging them hard into his ass again. It ignited him, and he lost control, going harder and faster, plunging deep inside her as she gasped beneath him. She brought her legs up and wrapped them around his back, allowing him to go even deeper. He was pounding into her, and she was urging him faster and faster. Some part of his mind became lucid enough for a moment to realize that she was making this all about him. No. He’d promised her pleasure. He slid his hand between them and circled her clit with his thumb. She groaned, and as her inner muscles clenched around him. He knew he didn’t need to do anything with it, just the extra pressure was enough. He found his rhythm again, each thrust of his hips burying his cock deeper and pressing his thumb against her most sensitive spot. Her groans grew louder. “Oscar! I …” He didn’t want to leave her with enough breath to talk. He picked up his pace, and the tension building at the bottom of his spine began to ripple outward. The ripples became a tidal wave as Grace’s orgasm took her. Her muscles tightened and drew him in, milking him for all he had. As his mind spun away, that was the only thought he could hold onto—he wanted to give her all he had. He wanted to love her with his body, his mind, and his whole self.
When they finally lay spent, he rested his head on her shoulder with a smile on his face. Now he knew what his next challenge was. He was going to win her love. He was finally ready to admit to himself that he was falling in love with her, and he was going to make Grace Evans love him right back—no matter what it took. He pressed his lips to the side of her neck, tempted to whisper those three little words right there and then. Instead, he rolled onto the bed in surprise as she pushed him off and got out. He sighed as she padded to the bathroom. He’d get used to her ways, and maybe as she got used to him, she’d soften up a little.
When she came back, he could tell she was staring up at the ceiling. He moved closer and wrapped an arm around her. “You okay?”
“Mm-hmm.”
He knew she was worn out. Tomorrow, he’d make sure she had a relaxing day. They’d do something fun, and he’d make sure she got some rest.