Quinn

Signal is spotty on this stretch, but when I do get some reception, the alerts for all the missed calls and voicemails stack on top of each other. After the fifteenth missed call from my boss, I decide to listen to his latest message. Not because I care about what he’s got to say. It’s a good barometer for me to figure out how much groveling I’ll have to do in order to not lose my job.

An echo reverberates in the open field, but I can’t make out what it is. A wild bird? The wind? Nothing at all?

My boss’s muffled intonation makes zero sense, so I put my phone away. It’s only when I focus on what’s in front of me that I notice that there she is.

Abby.

“You,” Abby says. “What in the world, Quinn?”

“I’ve been trying to call you all day!” I accuse. “I waited outside your door for hours. Hours. Raven down at the grocery store told me that you were there early this morning, and then I figured that even if you had errands to run, you’d be home by late morning or noon. At the latest.”

She rolls her eyes. “What do you want me to tell you? Do you think I owe you some kind of an apology? I didn’t know I was supposed to facilitate you stalking me.”

“It’s not stalking. I tried to get in touch every way I knew how, and then yesterday I just decided to come and talk to you in person. It’s been a month, so I don’t think it’s adding insult to injury.”

Nonplussed, she sidesteps me and continues to walk.

“Abby? Are you really going to ignore me?”

“You came down here. I can’t imagine what it is that you want, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable that all your efforts lead you to this: my nonchalance. I don’t want to talk to you. Nothing’s changed in the past month, except for the fact that I really, truly, absolutely, hand-to-God do not have a single thing to say. But if you insist on walking with me, you have about a quarter mile to say whatever it is you want me to hear. Then, you can consider the message delivered and we can get on with our lives.”

She doesn’t look at me once.

“Abby, please,” I say. “I’m begging you. I have to explain my side of things. I can’t bear to think that you’re hurt by my actions and you think I was so careless and reckless with your feelings to the point-”

“I’m going to say it again,” she says, sighing. “What do you think you’ll say this time that will make any difference?”

“I love you,” I blurt out.

That seems to get her attention because she doubles back and stares at me.

“Did you hear me? I said I love you.”

“I’m trying to figure out what kind of moron you are,” she says. “Why in the world would you ever tell me that?”

“Because it’s the truth and I needed you to know it. I need you in my life. I can’t stop thinking about you. And you don’t know the whole story. My brothers are jackasses and I haven’t spoken to them since that night at Moe’s. I won’t until they all apologize to you. Sheila is moot. She came around that night and asked me to let her in-”

“Let me guess, you two fucked nice and good on that couch where you and I-” She sniffles. “Never mind. Why are we getting into this again?”

“I would never do that with her,” I say. “I don’t want anyone else. You don’t have any idea how hard it’s been to feel like I finally met the love of my life and to let her slip away because I was stupid. I can’t even imagine how upsetting it was to hear all of that, but you have to believe I never participated in any of those conversations in high school. I didn’t approach you for anything other than exactly what I told you. I needed an out with my brothers. They bet me-”

“I already told you I don’t care,” Abby says. “Please.”

“You said I could tell you my side for the rest of your walk home. Please give me a chance.”

Abby sighs. “Fine.”

“I haven’t been with anyone for real since high school. Even when I had an official girlfriend, I felt empty. And then my brothers started getting on my case about how I hadn’t gotten laid in so long, and they felt it was their brotherly duty to impose a bet that would force to me act. It was weak of me to not shut them down, but that night, I really didn’t want to fight. I’d only come by the skin of my teeth and after another round of drinks, I planned to go. Then they made this ridiculous bet and you do not understand how impossible they are if they don’t feel like you gave it an honest thought.” I pause to take a deep breath.

Abby shakes her head, seemingly exasperated. “I sympathize with all of that, but your whole thing was that you needed to get out with a woman. You worked me over pretty well to get what you wanted. It worked out perfectly for you, didn’t it? You can fall back on your brothers’ gross bet and you also got, uh, laid.”

“I fully intended to simply drop you off,” I insist. “Then I made up that bullshit about the first aid kit because I wanted a few more minutes with you. That conversation in the car was the best thing to happen to me in months. Years. I felt alive, and that hasn’t happened since I heard about my knee.”

She stops dead in her tracks. “Wait, the first aid thing was bullshit?”

“Well, yeah,” I say, shrugging. “If you bump your head, you think a few band-aids or a thermometer or anything like that is going to make a difference? It won’t. Unless you had some telltale signs of a concussion or something like that, that bump was probably nothing and there’s not a single thing in a first aid kit that made a lick of difference.”

She takes it all in quietly. Suddenly, Abby bursts out laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s just that this thing is ludicrous from start to finish. Ridiculous. I don’t know why you even care anymore. Who am I?” She shoots me a guarded smile. “I don’t know what to believe. But this whole thing brought back a deluge of bad memories.”

“You’re arguing against yourself,” I tell her.

She cocks up an eyebrow. “How do you figure?”

“If you were just a random person or someone I didn’t give a shit about, why would I go to all this trouble to come clean? Why would I be chasing after you after that nearly insurmountable run-in with my brothers?”

“What are you getting at?” Her voice isn’t a hair above a whisper.

“That I love you. And if you don’t love me, that’s fine. But stop hiding from your feelings and thinking you’re the biggest reject in the world. I love you. What do I have to do for you to see that?” I purse my lips and shake my head. “I don’t know what else you expect me to do, Abby. I’ve reneged on the bet. I’m sorry that I took it. It was before we started talking that night. I resisted you as much as I could because I didn’t want it to start like that. But then you wore down all my self-control and… I wanted you, okay? I wanted you and I couldn’t hold out any longer when you gave me every possible sign that you wanted it, too.”

“But you tried to cover it up,” she says. “Why didn’t you just come out and say it?”

“I was going to tell you. At the right time. I shouldn’t have stayed the night. I should’ve asked you out on a date and avoided this whole mess. I know that and I accept it. You can’t know how sorry I am.” I rub my eyes, the exhaustion of the past few weeks hitting me. “I don’t know what else to do. I just know I don’t want to lose you. We were only together for a day but it was the best day of my life. Tell me-”

Abby interrupts me with a kiss.