T he smell and feel of Donna's house brings back memories. I used to come here almost every weekend before my father died. We would watch cheesy romance movies, stuff our faces with popcorn, and even occasionally sneak some of her mom's red wine. But her parents have since moved to Florida and left her the house. Even still, it's like being back in a very good dream .

I hear her banging around in the kitchen and I snuggle deeper into the plush, yet ancient couch. This is the same furniture, same decor as it was all those years ago. The TV has been upgraded to a flat screen instead of the old box model, but aside from that even the seventies themed wallpaper is still in place .

I think about Carson and how he acted in the truck just earlier today. He seemed upset that I had plans with Donna, although I can't understand why. Yeah, maybe I should've given it a day or two and caught up with him and Mavis, but honestly I need to get my head sorted out. I need to figure out what I am going to do. I know I need to move on. I can't waste any more energy or my feelings on something that will never happen .

Donna comes in a few minutes later with a bowl of freshly popped popcorn, two glasses, and a bottle of white wine under her arm. She grins at me and sets everything on the coffee table .

“Brings back memories, doesn't it?” She smiles wider. And right on cue the doorbell rings, signaling our pizza has arrived .

When Donna comes back in with a large pizza box and sets it on the coffee table, my stomach gives a loud growl. We both laugh. For the next twenty minutes we eat and drink our weight in pizza and wine .

Donna leans back and pats her stomach, a contented sigh leaving her. “Man, I haven't eaten pizza and drank wine like that in forever.” She glances over at me, this little snort of laughter leaving her. “Remember when you used to come over and spend the night and we'd sneak into the kitchen and do shots of red wine like it was hard liquor or something?” We both start laughing so hard that tears trickle out the corners of our eyes .

“Oh my God,” I say between fits of laughter. “I swear I got drunk from like two shots, too.” I shake my head at the memories that slam into me. It is good to be home, good to be back .

We watch a little bit of a cheesy romantic movie, just like old times. The silence is comfortable, welcoming. I am exhausted from traveling all day, but I don't want this night to end just yet .

“Oh, I forgot to tell you I ran into Jake a few days ago .”

I shift on the couch to look at her. “Jake Anderson? I haven't thought about him in years .”

Although Donna is looking at the TV, her grin stretches across her face. “Oh, he's definitely thought about you .”

I feel my brows pull down lower in confusion. “What does that mean ?”

She turns partially on the couch so she's looking at me as well. “I just told him that you were coming back to town since you graduated and you should've seen the way his face lit up with that information. Dude, the guy has a hard on for you like nobody's business. I swear he's been carrying a torch for you since high school .”

“You're insane,” I say and laugh a little awkwardly. Although I knew Jake had a crush on me in high school, she makes it seem like he is still thinking about me, wanting me all these years later. That is a little unbelievable .

She shakes her head. “No, I'm not insane. The guy totally wants you. He even wanted me to give you his phone number so you guys could go out while you're in town.” She reaches for her cell and holds her hand out for mine .

I stare at her palm for a long second, wondering if contacting a guy I haven't spoken to in years, who may or may not desire me, is really a good idea .

Take the number. You need to stop lusting after a man who will probably never see you as anything more than that little girl who lost her father .

I close my eyes for a second and exhale. Truth is I'll never fully know if Carson wants me. I will never have the guts to actually ask him, to admit how I feel for him. Because I know as soon as I utter those words, things will change between us. I know lines will be crossed, and that uncomfortable, awkward relationship that I dread having with him will be established .

I hand over my phone and watch as she types in Jake's phone number. Besides, what's the worst thing that can happen? So I call him up and we go out and catch up on old times. It can't hurt, and it would be nice to see someone from back in the day .

But even thinking that, knowing that, I can't help but feel this uncomfortable sensation wash over me at the fact I'm contacting another guy. I've only ever wanted Carson, and even a friendly date with a guy I used to go to school with seems…wrong .