***Pokey***

 

It took about an hour for her breathing to even out. Even though she had her back facing me, I knew she pretended to be asleep. Clearly, she didn’t want to talk. I respected her wishes this time because of what happened today. Not only that, but she seems drained all the time. With her taking so long to fall asleep, I know there are a lot of things running through her mind. It’s the same with me, so we really do need to talk some more, but I’ll let her set the pace.

Leaning against the fridge, I take a sip of water from the bottle I’m holding when I hear movement coming from upstairs. It’s the middle of the night and by the sound of it, Spiky is awake and coming downstairs.

Spiky. Fuck, I love calling her that. Yesterday I got a few glimpses of how she was when I met her. That fire inside her so hot I could feel the flames licking my heart. Dammit, my dick stands at attention. Placing the water bottle on the table in front of me, I shove a hand down my sweatpants to adjust myself.

“What in the….the kitchen isn’t the place to do that, you know.” Spiky comes up next to me and pulls open the fridge. “You might want to go…I dunno, take a shower or head to the clubhouse or…”

The hand that was wrapped around my dick flashes up and surrounds her delicate neck. Leaning in, I growl, “We already went over this.”

  I instantly regret my action. Her lips are a whisper away, a strand of black silk slides into her face. It’s like I’m being pulled by a magnetic force to slam my mouth down on hers. I can feel the warmth of her breath on my lips. She swallows, bringing me out of the mesmerizing trance, making me step back and shake my head. Shit, I almost fucking kissed her.

“I freaking hate this,” Spiky mutters as she turns to grab a bottle of water and smashes the refrigerator’s door shut.

I rub a hand over my head, so damn torn about shit, about everything. “I fucking get it, okay? It’s…fuck. I told you we needed to talk.”

Spiky slams the water bottle on the kitchen counter, making the water splash up like a damn fountain. “What we need cannot be fixed with a simple talk.”

She walks off and grabs a box of crackers along the way. Spinning on her heels, she takes a cracker out and points it at me. “Trust doesn’t magically slide in when you have a heart to heart, you know. It takes time. Besides, you’re the dad, I’m the mom, that’s it, right? We’re here for Austin, so you need to trust me with him. Please tell me you give me that much?”

Spiky shoves a cracker in her mouth as if she needs to shut herself up before she says something she may regret.

Her words…fuck. I have to contain my anger. Although it does click in my head, this needs to be said. “I’m not just here for Austin, Spiky. You’re his mother, so…”

“Oh, that’s a classic,” she mutters with a mouth full of cracker, furiously chewing it away. She rolls her eyes, swallows a few times before she starts again. “You’re his mother so we’ll always be connected. That’s all we have, blah, blah. Save it, you big elephant. I don’t want to hear it. Now, I’m going to stuff some more crackers in my mouth and then I’m going to sleep because Blue is coming over early so I can…”

Before I know it, my hand is possessively wrapped around her neck again, my fingers feel her swallowing the rest of the words. “You fucking listen, and listen real good. I want nothing more than for you to be on the back of my bike as my ol’lady.”

“But you don’t trust me.” Her voice barely a whisper, slices through my heart.

Resting my forehead against hers, I let her know. “I have a photographic memory. The smell of your pussy, the taste of you on my tongue, the sweet whimpers you made, and the perfect look of ecstasy that washed over you when I made you come in the bathroom. That’s all I’ve had for months; vivid visuals, on a loop, running through my mind. I’ve been craving you but trusting the other ol’ladies who said to give you time so we could be together. All of the what-fucking-ifs don’t matter now. But what you need to realize is that my endgame never changed. We both need time, but what we have is not just a being parents type of thing. You’re mine, except…” My goddamn throat clogs up and prevents me from finishing my sentence.

Spiky releases a soft breath. “Okay.” Aw fuck. Again with the whispering. She clears her throat. “I’m gonna need another cracker.”

“Fuck, Spiky. Why didn’t you eat pizza when I ordered ten for all of us earlier? Blue, Nerd, hell…even Ridley, all ate.” I shake my head, not understanding why she couldn’t eat then but is now stuffing stale crackers in her mouth in the middle of the…

“Don’t you think I wanted pizza? That insanely yummy smell that still lingers in the whole freaking house?” She steps away from me and drops the crackers in the trash. “If I ate the pizza I wanted and love? Then I would be holding Austin right now. He would be crying because he had cramps. He eats what I eat and his tummy can’t handle it, okay? So, no pizza for me, nothing for me, story of my freaking life. Trust me.” She falters and shakes her head, accompanied by a fake laugh. “Scratch that last part. Oh, and while you’re at it? You need to stop being an ass to Blue, Ridley and Nerd. They kept my secret; blame me, not them.”

“They should have fucking told…” I start to growl but she cuts me right off, stepping closer and jabbing a finger against my chest.

“Where did those guys of yours bury the body of the guy you shot in front of me?” she asks me with a fierce stare.

I narrow my eyes. “You know I can’t tell you that shit.”

“Ah, right…you know, because they’ve told you, a secret between you men.” She’s got a fucking smirk painted on her face.

“It’s not the fucking same and you know it,” I bark out my words.

“No, not the same. But it was my secret. They kept it, as I keep theirs. You know what? Screw it. Let me spill something to let you know how this works. Open your ears, big elephant, here it comes. Nerd is pregnant but doesn't want to tell Dams because they’re having sex three times a day to try to knock her up. She’s afraid he will stop and treat her with white gloved hands if he knew she was pregnant.”

Aw, fuck. I really didn’t need to know that shit.

Spiky tilts her head. “You know Blue is pregnant, right? Well, get this…she found out she is having twins but is terrified to tell Zack. Oh, for exactly the same reason Nerd is stalling to tell her man. The gloved hands, careful with the sex part.”

Yeah, my ears are burning, also didn’t want to hear that. “Stop, I don't want to know. I can’t tell…”

“Oh, no you don't. I'm not done yet, not by a long shot. Soooo….You know Everleigh's reason for making it seem like she’s a club ho? Well, get this. She only took three guys at the same time once. Once. The one where it involved two of those nomads that were in town for the weekend. The other times were just rumors she spread. Rumors she created. Why? Because she was raped, well that's how I call it anyway. Hell, we all call it that and if you saw the video…”

“What fucking video?” I growl, shocked, not knowing where she’s going with this.

“Shut up and listen. Everleigh's version of what happened is that her boyfriend surprised her with two buddies of his. Surprised as in he blindfolded her when she was tied naked to the bed. He told her he wanted to try something new with her and she agreed, not knowing what was to come. Then he let his buddies in the room, and she panicked when she heard other voices. When she told him she didn't want to, they didn't stop. They videotaped the whole thing and they cut out parts where she was screaming for them to stop. She told us she didn't think it was rape because she orgasmed and willingly let him tie her to the bed at first. Yeah, before she knew he would invite his buddies…still…ugh. Can you believe it? Nerd found the original video, uncut, because the bastards put that one online too. They were smart enough to keep their faces out from the camera view.”

I stumble back, barely grabbing a chair that’s near the kitchen table and plant my ass on it. I’m fucking nauseous. I can’t even comprehend…fuck…Sico is gonna blow when he gets wind of this.

“Uh, huh...then she thought...I'm new in town and can't be the girl I was before that video, because if I ever get a new boyfriend...there's a risk he’s going to see the video and won't have anything to do with me anyway,” Spiky growls. “I can’t even blame her for her reasoning in this because let’s face it…it’s out there so it’s a reality, right? People would see her as a whore anyway. Future mother-in-laws won’t like their neat son bringing home a girl with that kinda shit online for all to see. And Nerd tried to pull a lot but you know it’s hard when things are out there…”

My fucking head is spinning. “Just stop already. I fucking get it, okay?”

“Good. You do realize you can’t tell any of this, right?” Her hands are on her hips, and she’s glaring at me.

I shrug yet again, a hand over my face. “Yeah. Dammit all to hell. Sico is going to flip the fuck out.”

Her hands leave her waist as they fist beside her body. “Oh, yes. Absolutely. Huge dick…”

“Sweetheart, stop complimenting his dick.” I sigh.

“I’m not…ugh. He can’t know, he’s been treating her like shit and when her secret comes out he will look at her differently, and us woman despise it when guys do that. So you better,” she seethes.

“Spiky, is that some underlying tone you’re throwing at me? Am I looking at you differently or some shit?” Fuck. I know I do.

“Oh, you mean back in the bathroom when you had your dick inside me compared to when you saw me again? Or the look you gave me when I told you what happened to me when I was on my way back to tell you about the pregnancy? Ummm lemme think and I’ll get back to you.” She spins on her heel and heads out of the kitchen toward the living room.

Dammit. I’m so screwed up in the brain because what she just said totally triggered that loop inside my head where I was pumping her pussy in the…dammit. But on the other hand…I’m hard as a rock again. This bickering, interacting, being near her. I know we need it to build our future, even if it’s one tiny step after another.

Stalking into the living room, I see her bent over and reaching into the cabinet. She’s wearing a long shirt that falls over her knees but with her bent over like that? Fuck. I divert my eyes because I don’t need another image locked in my head. On. A. Loop.

“What the hell are you doing?” I growl. And when the hell did I start to growl at her at every turn?

She spins around and stashes a piece of chocolate into her mouth. She almost stuffs it so far down her throat that her whole hand practically disappears in after it.

“Interesting. Pizza is a no-go, but making chocolate milk for the little man is okay.” I can’t help the huge grin that spreads on my face. “Good to know.”

Spiky rolls her eyes and wants to say something but Austin interrupts. She takes a step in the direction of the stairs but looks back. “I’ll switch to bottles tomorrow, okay? That way you get to feed him too.”

Those flames licking my heart? Yeah, back full force.

“Appreciate it,” I croak.

She gives me a nod and heads upstairs.

With all of it raw in my head, I drop on the couch and let everything sink in. Fuck. She was on her way back to tell me she was pregnant. I understand her reason now that she told me about what happened with that gang pushing her down the stairs and give her a beating until she passed out, but shit…the stuff she mentioned about Blue, Nerd and Everleigh?

I sure as hell won’t tell Zack he’s gonna have twins. He might have a heart attack right then and there, and when he calms the fuck down he will put Blue in bed for those months to come. Then Dams…he’s been wanting to get his ol’lady knocked up ever since that whole misunderstanding with Blue. Nerd was holding Blue’s pregnancy test when the guys walked in on them. Dams thought Nerd was pregnant, but instead it was Blue.

Then when you add the stuff about Everleigh? Blue and Nerd’s secrets are a speck of dust compared to the hell she went through. Fuck. Still going. That shit is like a ticking time bomb that can blow over and over at any moment in her life. I wasn’t kidding about Sico. He’s been in a foul mood ever since he claimed her as his ol’lady. And I know for a fucking fact he hasn’t screwed anything except his hand.

He won’t rest until he finds out who did that and then he’ll slice up every last one of them. And dammit…on the other hand…if he knew…he would man up and treat her different. Shit. That’s exactly it. Yeah, screwed up, seven ways from Sunday. My head fucking hurts so I slide down on the couch and close my eyes, hoping sleep will claim me. Tomorrow is another day to deal with shit life throws our way.

I wake up to Spiky’s worried voice. Rising from the couch, I see her pacing back and forth across the kitchen, phone between her head and shoulder, Austin in her arms. “Why now? I don’t…okay.” 

Strolling over, she locks eyes with me as I take Austin from her, freeing her hands so she can wrap her fingers around the phone.

“Yes…about an hour…no….yes, thank you. See you there, bye.” She hangs up and stares at me.

I lift an eyebrow in question.

She releases a deep breath and slides a finger across Austin’s cheek, worry in her eyes. “That was the detective who was appointed to my case a few months ago. Now, all of a sudden, he’s asking me to come by, to look at some mugshots or lineup or something…I don’t know.”

Lifting one hand, I cup her face, thankful to feel her leaning into my touch. “Blue was coming over anyway. She can watch Austin as we both head in.” Suddenly it makes sense. “Fucking hell…” I grumble.

Holding out Austin to her, she tucks away her phone and takes him as I grab my cell.

Scrolling through my list, I find the number I need. He picks up after four fucking long rings.

“Someone better be dyin’ or beggin’ for a cock down their throat, because this is no fucking time to be pulling me out of my beauty sleep,” Ransom grumbles.

Snorting, I rattle out my words. “Casey still in town?”

“Pokey? That you man? Fuck, I don’t know…what day is it?” I can hear rustling of blankets, a door and then water…no wait.

“Are you taking a fucking leak? Your dick is in one hand and me in the other?” I tear away my cell and hit the end call button. He can call me back when he’s done pissing. For fuck’s sake.

Doesn’t take long for my phone to start ringing. “You done?” I snap.

He fucking flushes right before he says, “Yeah, am now. But hey, you woke me up, so don’t blame me if the first thing I need to do is take a fucking leak. Now, why did ya fucking call, huh?”

I watch how Spiky takes Austin across the room and puts him in his crib, activating the elephant lullaby that Fuzzbutt also loves. “Told you. Casey, he still in town?”

“Yeah, he took some vacation time. He’s over at that tiny bed and breakfast thing on route forty-nine. Need me to call him?” I hear how his voice shifts, like he’s holding his phone between his head and shoulder, the noise of his belt indicating he’s putting on pants.

I take a deep breath and decide to give him the info. “My ol’lady is wrapped in some shit that happened a few months ago. Now something went down yesterday and out of the blue the detective that’s on the case calls to see if she can come over for a lineup or some shit.”

“Fuck. Your ol’lady, huh? You finally got her back?” Ransom says in awe.

And it’s then I realize that I indeed, for the first fucking time, called her my ol’lady. Automatically. As natural as taking my next breath. Seems like overnight things fell into place inside my head.

Claim stated against a brother. Nomad or not, feelings, complications, or not… “She’s my ol’lady. We also have a son, man…Austin. Three weeks old.”

“Holy shit. You tellin’ me the Pokey genes multiplied?” He whistles low. “Your dick works fast, man.”

“Yeah.” I lock eyes with Spiky, who’s eyes are on the verge of popping out, making me realize she heard me calling her my ol’lady. “Yeah, my dick can handle anything. It’s my mind you have to worry about.” I tell him flat.

Fuck. I meant it in a whole different way than Spiky interprets it. The hurt I see in her eyes is slicing through my chest. Dammit.

Without thinking, I end the call and close the distance between us. She takes a step back. Not from fear, I’m guessing by the look on her face, but out of hurt.

“Remember I told you about the photographic memory shit?” I snap, trying to bring her out of the jumping her mind is doing right now.

Slowly she gives a nod.

“No one knows except a handful of people I screwed up with. Well, next to my family since I grew up with them, obviously. I always used to hide it because people don’t like it or treat you differently when you can remember everything so vividly. Learning back in school was a piece of fucking cake, just to let you know the benefits. But anyway, I play stupid. Keeps everything smooth and easy. Hence the worry about my mind, since people think that I can’t handle shit.”

Understanding spreads on her face, as well as a beaming smile. “Don’t you need to call him back?”

“Yeah, but I’m sure he’ll…” My phone starts to ring. “Sorry about that, man. Said something that hurt my ol’lady so I had to…”

“Pussy whipped. Never going to go there. Screws with the dick, and not in a good way.” Ransom’s voice turns serious.

“We’ll talk when you get a whiff of the best pussy you ever had in your presence.” I smirk. “You’ll be on your knees, crawling after that shit.”

“I don’t ride into sunsets, Pokey…I ride in darkness, trees flashing by like memories haunting the tainted parts of my soul.” Fuck. His voice is void of all emotion. He’s screwed up.

“Dude…you really need to step in some unicorn shit to brighten up your life. Hell, I need to go do that when I hang up the fucking phone, you’re depressing, man,” I grumble.

Ransom barks out a laugh. “Yeah, when you see a unicorn, shove his ass my way so I can...”

“Do not say bone that shit. Fuck. I didn’t sign up for this shit. Listen, call Casey for me. I have to ask him something and it’s kinda delicate, so I have to meet him face to face.”

“’Kay. I’ll send you a text with the info later, yeah?”

“Perfect, thanks. Oh, and Ransom…don’t fuck with unicorns. They make your dick glow.”

Just before I hang up, I hear his laughter. It’s mixing with the sweet sound of Spiky’s giggles, making me shrug my shoulders in innocence.