Chapter Twenty-Three
Matt’s phone rang as he turned out of Phi’s driveway, on his way to the work site. Goddamn plumber had miraculously found time in his schedule, after a few not-at-all-veiled threats. He hit the answer to his Bluetooth without checking caller ID.
Eric glanced across at him and shook his head.
“Mathew?” His mother’s quivering voice explained the headshake.
“Hey, Mom, what’s up?” He pulled a face at Eric. The guy could have tried harder than a headshake, for his brother.
His mother took a damp breath. “Darling, I know you’re really busy, but if you could find some time to come around, I would be very grateful.”
Claws tightened around his throat. “I need to get to site, Mom. I’ve got the plumber there and he—”
“I understand.” She gave a watery titter. “Your business is important and you’ve worked so hard.”
Eric rolled his eyes and shifted in his seat.
“I’ll come round after I’ve made sure the plumber is working,” Matt said. He pulled a come-on face at Eric.
Eric groaned.
“That would be lovely. Shall I cook dinner?”
Eric shook his head, so hard his hair fell in his eyes.
“Um . . . no.” Matt glared at him. What the hell? Dinner was dinner.
“Oh.” His mother laughed, not convincingly. “I’m sure you have plans. Can’t expect to keep my handsome boy all to myself.”
His morning coffee seared the back of his throat. “I’m having dinner with Eric.”
Eric widened his eyes in a say-what.
“He’s buying.” Matt gave his brother an evil grin. “Up at one of those new restaurants on the mountain.”
“How lovely,” his mother breathed. “I would love to go and have dinner there. It’s been so long since I had the chance to get all dressed up.”
Don’t you fucking dare, Eric beamed at him from the passenger seat.
No worries, there. Matt grinned at him anyway. Let the bastard squirm. “It’s a business dinner, Mom.”
“What business do you have with Eric?” Her tone sharpened, and he could picture the way her brown eyes would narrow. “Eric’s business is all in Denver.”
Eric made a “duh” face.
Shit, backpedal fast. He couldn’t deal with his mother if he told her about Eric’s offer. “Mom, you should know by now, that’s guy talk for a boy’s night out.”
Eric winced and looked like he might lose his breakfast.
Sue him, he was working off the hoof here.
“You’re late getting into work today,” his mother said. “Is everything all right? Can I do anything for you?”
“No, Mom.” He smirked at Eric. His brother was going to spring for great wine as well. And they were taking that kick-ass car of his, too. “I had to pop into Philomene’s first.”
Eric threw up his hands.
“Oh?” said his mother.
Snap went the trap, and Matt pounded his palm against the steering wheel. Goddamn it, she’d laid down the wires and he went tripping right through them.
“You went there before work?” The way she tightened her mouth came down the phone line. “Interesting when you need to be on-site so urgently.”
Matt pulled off the road; his tires kicked up dust and small stones as he jerked the truck to a stop. He balled his hand into a fist. How much damage would it do if he pounded the console? Not worth the effort to get it fixed and he breathed out a big sigh.
“She didn’t have any water, Mom.” Shit, he sounded like he was pleading with her now. Thirty-six years old and still scared to piss his mommy off. There had to be a word stronger than pathetic. Fucked. That just about covered it.
“I might not have water,” said Cressy.
Matt rolled his head to ease the tension creeping up his neck. He didn’t have time to go around there this morning. He had to get to site. “Do you have water?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “That’s not what I mean.”
“Mom, I’ll be there after my site visit.”
“Fine,” she said. “I understand.”
Eric hit the End button on the console. “Five, four, three—”
“Fuck it!” Matt jammed the truck in gear and did a one-eighty back onto the road.
“Less than three seconds,” Eric said. “That’s impressive.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Eric was right, they both knew it, which was why he wanted to smack his brother in the smug mouth right now.
“We were just there this morning,” Eric said. “How bad could it be?”
Matt didn’t know. His brain said even Cressy would struggle to find that much drama in the two hours he’d spent at Phi’s. His guilt said different. Maybe if he’d gotten there fifteen minutes earlier that first time, right after Dad died, he’d have been able to stop her before she got to the bottom of the Ambien bottle. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” he said.
“Yeah, I do.” Eric shrugged. “She took that overdose seventeen years ago and she never lets you forget it.”
Matt veered out of his lane and yanked the truck back on the road. Eric knew about that? He took another quick look at his brother.
Eric raised one dark eyebrow.
“I know, Matt.” Eric stared out the windscreen. “She made sure I did.”
“Fuck.” Cressy had told Eric about that? After he’d gotten her to agree that the other kids shouldn’t know because their world was fragile enough. It shouldn’t mean that much, no big deal. They were talking ancient history here. But it lit a slow burn in Matt.
The calls to him, all the time, were a pain in the ass. No two ways about that. Every time her number popped up on his caller ID, he got that tight feeling in his gut, but as long as she called him and not the others, it made it bearable.
Sure, she got Nate worked up every now and again, jerked Jo’s chain every chance she could, but Cressy saved the worst for him. He didn’t like it—hated it, in fact—but if it meant the others got a free pass, he could deal.
“She told you.” He had to say the words out loud, to be sure he really understood the first time.
Eric glanced back at him. “You didn’t know?”
“No.” His hands tightened around the steering wheel, ready to snap it in two. “She told you!”
Matt pulled into his mother’s drive so fast Eric grabbed for the dash. “Jesus, Matt. Wanna tell me what this is all about?”
“She told you.” How many times had he said that now?
“So she told me.” Eric shrugged and smoothed down his three-hundred-dollar haircut. “I don’t get why this is a big deal.”
Eric wouldn’t, but he didn’t expect him to. He flung open his door and strode over to the house.
As he yanked open the kitchen door, Cressy spun to greet him with a smile. “Darling!”
His mother was still beautiful. They got their dark hair from her. Jo had inherited that effortless grace that inhabited every movement. Right now, he had to get it together before he lost it. She was still his mother, and his dad had entrusted her into his care when he died.
“You told Eric.” He was halfway across the kitchen before he realized it.
Eric stepped into his path before he got to his mother.
Her eyes went huge behind Eric’s shoulder. “What did I tell Eric?”
“About the overdose.”
Eric held his hands out. “You need to calm the hell down. This is not that big of a deal.”
“I never told Eric.” Cressy’s gaze darted to the side, and she took a step back.
“Yeah, you did, Mom.” Eric spoke over his shoulder, keeping his big body between Matt and their mother.
Cressy paled. Her hands fluttered up in a helpless gesture and her big brown eyes swam with tears. “I couldn’t help it, Matt. I was so upset one day and Eric was leaving.”
“Step back.” Eric put his hand in the middle of Matt’s chest and exerted pressure.
Matt eased back. As much as he would like to swing at Eric, he wasn’t mad at his brother and Eric was right. Scaring a woman was a dick move. He knew better and this was his mother. He took three steps back and put the table between him and Cressy. “Mom.” He dragged in a deep breath. He needed to calm down and have this conversation. “We agreed that you wouldn’t tell the others.”
“Eric was leaving,” Cressy sobbed. “He didn’t understand how much I needed him. He still doesn’t understand.”
Matt grabbed the chair back and held on tight. The wooden edge dug into his palms. “You didn’t need Eric, you had me.”
“Matt, darling, there is no need to be jealous.” Her eyes lit up like a birthday candle.
The chair screeched across the floor as his grip tightened. “I’m not jealous.”
“Matt?” Eric stepped closer to him. His body tight and controlled, but ready to step in if he had to. Eric was getting ready to tackle him down if he needed to. Fuck! He wasn’t this man. He didn’t lose his shit and lash out. He was not the sort of guy who needed his brother to maul him to the floor before he got his crap together.
He nodded at Eric. “I’m okay.”
Eric’s shoulders eased down an inch. He was still wary, but standing down.
“I’m not jealous, Mom. I’m mad as fucking hell.”
Cressy’s eyes widened.
Yeah, he’d shocked her. Shocked himself a bit while he was at it. “You had no right to tell Eric about the overdose because he had enough to deal with as it was.”
Eric had felt guilty as hell, going off to college while Matt stayed at home and held down the fort. He’d nearly pushed Eric out the door to get him to go. Eric had been all for staying with him and helping out. Why hadn’t he let him?
Matt looked at his brother. They could have been mistaken for twins. Same height, same build, same hair. Of course, Eric was a smooth son of a bitch and a snappy dresser, he also had a prettier face, but they were cast from the same mold. And it didn’t end with the physical similarity. Only a year separated them, not even. Eleven months between the two of them. Yes, Matt had shrugged on the mantle of big brother and forced them all to get on with their lives.
He’d done the right thing. It wasn’t that itching at him. If he had to do it again, he would still have insisted Eric go to college, and Nate go into the police academy. Still made Isaac and Jo get good grades and stick with their sports.
Eric and Cressy watched him as he teased the thought out from hiding.
Their dad had died and Matt picked up the entire burden. All seven thousand tons of it. The failing company, the staggering mortgage, the kids, and their mother. Could he have done it differently? Maybe let Eric take up some of the strain and pull in harness with him? Eric had tried. They’d gotten into more than one fight about it. Matt had turned him down every time. Patted himself on the back for being such a good guy as he did it. In the process, he’d cut his brother out, and set himself up as the martyr.
“I’m sorry,” he said to Eric.
Eric jerked his head back. His eyes widened as he took on what Matt really meant. “Damn, Matt there is no need for you to apologize to anyone. You did it all, bro. You did it all.”
“Maybe I didn’t have to.”
Eric shrugged, and a small smile tilted his mouth up. “No, you didn’t have to, but you did and it is what it is. I’m more interested in what happens now.”
“I don’t know.” His legs went iffy under him and Matt dragged out the chair and flung himself into it. He couldn’t be his mother’s pillar anymore. When Pippa left she would take the best part of his day with her. Seventeen years he’d spent living a sort of half-life, and he didn’t want it anymore. He’d picked a hell of a time for an epiphany. “For the first time in seventeen years, I haven’t got a fucking clue.”
“Don’t swear, Matt.” His mother edged closer to him. Her gaze flickered between him and Eric as she tried to get a handle on what was going down.
“They say that’s the beginning of wisdom.” Eric gave him a smart-ass grin.
Dick! Matt threw his head back and laughed.
“I don’t understand the joke.” Their mother folded her arms over her chest. Surer of her ground now, she made one of those rapid-fire transitions of mood and persona.
“I’m tired,” Matt said to Eric. “I want something else.”
Eric snorted. “I’ll bet.”
“I want . . .” He picked his words carefully, aware of Cressy picking this all up. “My life, whatever that turns out to be. I want something different. More.”
Eric nodded and grabbed the chair across from him. “It isn’t about this specific offer.” He tapped his long fingers on the table. “If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it.” Eric shrugged. “I don’t care about that. It’s about you doing something you want to do.”
“What offer?” Their mother’s tone grew shrill as she stepped up to the table.
“I want you to think about what you want,” Eric said.
A lump stuck in his throat, and his eyes stung. If Eric didn’t stop this shit, he was going to cry. Eric had been there all along, standing on the field and waiting for Matt to shoot him the pass, wide receiver to his quarterback.
“I’ll think about it.” He grinned as Eric raised his eyebrow. “Properly this time.”
“What are you going to think about?” Their mother slapped her hands on the table. “What new developments. Is this about that Turner girl? I have no idea—”
“Sit down, Mom.” Eric glanced at her. “Matt is about to tell you how it’s going to be from now on.”