When I come back to the apartment late that night, Tess is already sleeping in her room with the door shut. A clear signal that I'm back to sleeping on the floor. There's a note taped to the door:

Hunter: Meeting with mayor tomorrow at noon. Leaving the house early. Please be there and be calm.

I go to sleep on the living room floor. I can't stop thinking about Tess. I want to be in bed with her instead, touching every inch of her body until the sun rises.

* * *

When I wake up the next morning around 10, she's already gone. I toast a couple frozen Eggo waffles and wash them down with a nasty-ass cup of instant coffee. With all the "artisan" coffee I've been drinking at the shop over the last few weeks, I realize I'm on the verge of turning into a damn hipster myself. Two months ago, I wouldn't have so much as flinched at this joe. Now I can almost tell the difference. Almost.

I slap on a pair of khakis and a button-down shirt, and I slick my hair back like a legit businessman. But when I check myself in the bathroom mirror, I look like a fucking pussy.

So I roll my sleeves up until my thick, tattooed forearms are on full display. That's more fucking like it. Let the mayor know who he's dealing with. I'll fucking let Tess try to talk things out with him. But if he's really making this personal, it won't be enough. She may not admit it, but she needs my help.

* * *

I'm walking down Main Street toward the courthouse and the city government offices when I pass by a little girl sitting on the curb, crying.

Fucking hell. I always run into shit like this. Completely out of my element. Why does this shit always happen to me?

I approach the little girl and kneel down to her level. I figure I'll scare the shit out of her no matter what, but maybe this'll be less severe. "Hey," I say. "What's wrong?"

She sniffles. "My puppy."

"Your puppy what?"

"He's gone."

Fucking kids can't even explain what's wrong. But seeing a kid crying like this doesn't sit right with me. "Where did he go?"

"Down."

"Down where?"

"Down there."

I stand up straight and look around. Then I hear a yapping sound coming from the curb storm drain behind the kid's feet, and I realize what happened.

So I kneel down again. "Just hang tight, kid. I'll get him out in no time."

I strip my shirt off and hang it on a bench on the sidewalk. Then I bend over, stick my fingers into the holes of the manhole cover next to the storm drain, and haul the heavy-ass piece of iron off. It smells like a nasty motherfucking sewer, but I've seen and smelled much worse back in the Middle East. So whatever.

Holding my breath, I scrunch in my shoulders and climb down the ladder into the darkness. I don't have to search hard to find the puppy. A wet ball of fur nips at my ankles, so I reach down and grab the little fucker. Then I climb back onto the sidewalk.

The puppy was originally white, but it's brown and muddy from the sewer, just like my ankles and my chest are now. Great.

"Zack!" says the little girl, and she leaps up to grab the puppy out of my arms.

I hand it off to her. "Go home," I say, "Wash your hands and give that thing a bath. And don't touch your face before then."

Who knows if the little girl understands what I'm telling her, but the look on her face is worth getting my business casual clothes covered in shit. She cradles the puppy in her arms like a baby and starts to skip down the sidewalk.

Jesus Christ. Me, that girl, and the puppy are all probably going to test positive for E. Coli this time tomorrow morning.

I pull my watch out of my pocket and glance at the time. Shit. It's already 11:55. I'm supposed to meet Tess in five minutes, but I can't fucking show up to the mayor's office covered in literal human excrement. Even if that also happens to be what he's made of. Even I have limits that I won't exceed. I grab my shirt off the bench and try to wipe off my hands. This is fucking disgusting.

After replacing the manhole cover, I head back to Tess's apartment to shower and change clothes. Hopefully she doesn't fucking slaughter me for this.

* * *

Tess sits on the couch, her fists balled up on her knees. She swallows hard, on the verge of tears.

"Talk to me," I say, ruffing my now-clean hair with a towel. "Sorry I didn't make. I—"

"It's done, Hunter, it's done, and it's all wrong, and the paperwork is wrong, and—"

"Slow down," I say, shaking my head. "Start from the beginning."

She gulps down her tears before they can fall. "I went to the meeting."

"Right."

"He said there can't be another health inspection until next Monday."

"A whole week?" I say. "Motherfucker. That's such bullshit. What are there, 20 restaurants in the whole damn town?"

"There's more."

I wait for her to compose herself and continue.

"He said there's an investigation into the zoning permits. There might have been a mistake, and if there was, my business license could be revoked."

"Fucking hell," I say. "Zoning, my ass. That strip mall's been there since we were kids."

"I know," she says. A tear breaks through her facade and streaks down the side of her face. She wipes it off on her sleeve.

"It's complete bullshit. First Oscar, now you. Does this guy just fucking live to cause people problems?"

Tess starts to openly sob, and my spine zips up. This fucking day just doesn't get any better. "You weren't there for me," she says. "You weren't there for me again, when I needed you."

I bend down at put my hands on her shoulders. Just touching her sends an electric current through my arms, and all through my body, and I fight to keep my composure. Even when this girl is at her worst, she still affects me more than anyone else ever has. "Tess, I was rescuing a—"

"It's just like eight years ago. When I need you to be there for me, you're not," she says, her face red and her eyes watery. "And I'm such a stupid girl that I'm falling in love with you anyway. Again."

Her words take me by surprise, as if I've just walked face-first into a brick wall. I knew feelings were getting involved, but the L-word is way more than I bargained for. Way more. The girl drives me crazy, but it's not in the cards, and I'm not looking for a second chance.

"Dammit Tess. Why would you say that?" I know I sound like an asshole, but I don't know what else to say.

She looks up at me with her moist eyes. "Because I mean it. Whatever happens with the restaurant, happens. But I want to know where we stand. I need to know."

"Goddamnit, Tess," I say. "I knew this was a bad fucking idea."

She sniffs and looks like she's about to break into tears again. "What do you mean?"

"This whole thing, the fake marriage, the benefits, helping you with the shop I wasn't fucking trying to give you false hope for a relationship."

"You're… serious?" she sniffs.

"It's just not in the cards for me right now, Tess. And you don't look ready for it either."

"So nothing that happened meant anything?"

I clench my jaw. The truth is, it did. She means something to me. Something real. But I can't tell her that. Not now. I'm still leaving. And it'll only hurt her more to hear the truth.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"You're awful," she says. Tears streak down her face. She stands up from the couch and beelines for the apartment door.

"Where are you going?" I call after her.

"To be by myself," she says. She leaves, slamming the door behind her.

Fuck. In one day, she went from having a booming business and living her dream, to facing the loss of that dream. And of course I just piled more shit on top, like I seem to be best at.

I pace around the apartment, hands on my sides.

Fuck it. I'm doing more harm than good by being here. She'll eventually get shit figured out with the shop, even if it takes lawyers. And Jason knows how to keep the place going.

All my stuff is still packed and ready to go for Alaska, save the sleeping bag and a few clothes in the hamper. I gather up all my stuff and finish packing my bags. I toss my apartment key on the table and I write a note.

I, Hunter Thorne, consent to the annulment of my marriage to Tess Cassidy. Please send all forms requiring notarization to the following address.

Underneath the note, I write the address of Eddie's restaurant. He'll get me whatever I need.

I'm out. For good this time. It's going to fucking hurt me, and I know it's going to hurt Tess, but it's for the best.

On my way out, I flip off the lights in her apartment. For the last time.