Brooklyn

Everything.

That word hangs in the air for the rest of the evening as I wrack my memory for what Molly can be referring to. What secret did Drew keep from me? And what did he lose?

I always assumed he had all he ever dreamed of. As a freshman in college, he was starting center and helped his team win the Division I championship trophy. The following year, he was in Salt Lake City and won a silver medal in the Games. From there, scouts knocked down his door to sign with a professional team upon graduation, which was what he did when the ink wasn’t yet dry on his diploma. If anything, Drew has gained everything over the years. His success was nothing short of rapid and awe-inspiring. He became a household name, which made it even more difficult for me to forget about him. Or perhaps there’s a different reason, a deeper reason, I never could.

I’m so lost in my thoughts as I drive home, I don’t even notice Wes’ car parked in front of my house until I walk up to my door.

“Hey.”

I practically jump out of my skin as I spin around to face him. “Shit, Wes. You scared me.”

He grimaces, running a nervous hand through his hair. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

A ball of dread forms in my stomach as I consider why he’s here when he knew I was spending time with Molly. Is he checking up on me? Making sure I’m telling him the truth? Or did he come over in the hopes I’d ask him to stay the night?

“What are you doing here?”

“You weren’t answering your phone.”

“The battery died.”

“I figured there was a reason other than you avoiding me. That’s not usually your style.”

I remain silent, my expression flat.

“But I’m glad you’re here. I didn’t want to leave without seeing you first.”

My heart drops to the pit of my stomach, my mouth growing dry. “Leave?”

“Yeah. Last-minute trip. I need to go to Dubai tonight.”

I briefly close my eyes, releasing a relieved breath. “You’re going to Dubai.” Wes hears it as more of a question.

“Mother’s assured me all the wedding preparations are handled. I don’t want to go, but my father’s right. This contract to build a hotel over there is everything I’ve ever hoped for. I can take that profit and reinvest it in the charity house-building program. Low-income homes lost due to the recent hurricanes can be rebuilt, and then some. This is a huge deal for the company, and I need to be there to make sure the project kicks off correctly. I should only be gone ten days…two weeks max.” He pauses, assessing me before he continues. “You can come with me. Get away from all this for a minute.” His eyes plead with me to consider his invitation.

“Wes...” I don’t have the ability to jump on a plane at a moment’s notice. I have a job, people who depend on me. “I need to work.”

“I figured you’d say that.” His voice is melancholy. I’m not sure how to feel about the fact that he’s grown accustomed to me constantly turning him down. Not only in the bedroom, but in life. Yet he still wants to marry me. It doesn’t make sense.

“Why do you want to marry me?” I blurt out before I can stop the words.

“What?” he asks, shaking his head in obvious disbelief. “How could you even ask that?” His face reddens and he tugs at his hair. “We’re less than a month away from our wedding. I’m about to get on a plane for the Middle East and will be gone for two weeks. Should I be worried about returning to an empty house?” His voice catches.

“Wes...” I run my hands down his arms, trying to placate him. “I didn’t mean it like that.” Even though I kind of did. “I guess... I don’t know.” I blow out a long breath, collecting my scrambled thoughts. “You’re risking a lot by being with me. Your relationship with your mother. Your role in the company. I’m trying to wrap my head around why you’d do that just to be with me.”

His expression softens and he loops his arms around my waist, dragging me to him. “Because I love you, Brooklyn.” When our eyes lock, confusion clouds his blue orbs. “Don’t you love me?”

My lips part as I struggle to say the words he needs to hear, my eyes darting to my surroundings. Before Sunday, my response would have come easily. But the events of the past week have forced me to take a step back. I’ve faulted Drew for never making me a priority, for never noticing me until I had another man’s ring on my finger. While Wes has noticed me, I’m not sure he’s made me a priority like I once believed he did. Yes, he purchased us a beautiful piece of land and is building me the house of my dreams. He’s bought me stunning pieces of jewelry, even though I’ve told him to save his money, considering I can’t wear any to work. But these things are simply possessions, things I can’t feel in my heart. I want to feel loved, like I’m a priority, like I’m the only woman he’s ever seen.

As I think about it, I can say with all the conviction I possess I’ve never actually felt that from Wes. He claims he loves me. Has he ever shown me that love in a way other than buying me something extravagant?

“Brooklyn?”

His pained voice forces me back from my thoughts. I stare deep into his eyes, confirming what I told Molly earlier, what I’ve feared all week as my heart was pulled in two different directions. No matter which path I choose, someone will end up hurt. Wes has always been attentive and caring, in his own way. But Drew... The pain of our tainted history still rips me open.

But has he caused that pain? Or was it self-inflicted? There were many times he had ignored me, made me feel invisible. But there were other times he made me feel like I was the only person who mattered. Like when he’d go with me to visit my mother’s grave on the anniversary of her death every year. Like the way he put his scholarship at risk and broke Damian Murphy’s nose for touching me. Like the way he bought me the wedding dress of my dreams because it was what I wanted, regardless of how much my engagement didn’t sit right with him. He buried his own feelings to give me the happiness he thought I deserved.

I’ve been so focused on the bad, I’ve forgotten about all the times Drew made me a priority. The truth hits me hard, knocking the breath out of me. He’s done something no other man’s ever done. He made me feel loved.

“Brooklyn?” Wes’ pleading voice catches my attention. “Don’t you love me?” he repeats.

I press my lips together, frowning. I do love him, but is it the type of love that will endure all our lives?

“I…I don’t know,” I answer honestly.

The instant those words leave my mouth, his body deflates. The pain I saw in his expression before is no match for the heartache filling him now. The lines on his face that were once filled with hope turn down, his lips parting, his chin trembling slightly.

“I’m sorry, Wes.” I wish there were something more I could say, something more meaningful to relay how much admitting the truth I’ve fought to ignore wrecks me. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Are you...” He swallows hard. “Are you walking away?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

And that’s the truth. I have no idea what my plan is. Whether I’m walking away from Wes, whether I’m ready to run toward Drew. I can come up with a dozen reasons why I should stay with Wes. But I can also come up with a dozen reasons why I should be with Drew.

“Are we moving too fast?” He grasps my hands in his, as if I’m his lifeline, his only source of oxygen and sustenance. “We can take a step back. Put the wedding on hold. I knew you were uneasy about getting married this June. We can have a long engagement, like you wanted. We can elope and not tell anyone. Anything you want, just...” He lets go of my hands and cups my cheeks, leaning his forehead on mine as he draws in a deep breath. “Don’t leave me.” A tear falls from his eye, landing on my cheek.

“I just...” I moisten my lips that have grown dry. “I need time to figure out what I want.” I pull back, staring deep into his pale eyes filled with anguish. I bring my hands to his face, swiping away his few tears with the pads of my thumbs. “Maybe this time apart is what we need to be sure we’re on the right path.”

“But I don’t want to lose you. If leaving right now seals our fate, I won’t do it. I don’t want you to think my job’s more important than you.”

I remain silent. He’s done a horrible job of making me think otherwise lately.

“I’ll do anything for you,” he adds.

“I know you will.” I lift myself onto my toes and place a soft kiss on his lips. “That’s why I need you to get on that plane and go to Dubai.” I release my hold on him, stepping back. “Maybe I’ll take this time and go somewhere, too. Clear my mind.”

“You deserve a break. You’re burning yourself out with the number of hours you’ve been working lately.”

“Says the man who’s been working eighteen-hour days,” I quip back.

“It’s all for you.” His hands land on my hips and he pulls me toward him. I don’t resist when he brings his lips toward my neck and inhales. “Everything I do is for you.”

When his mouth brushes my skin, I moan. It’s not his lips that cause that reaction. It’s the fact he hasn’t shaven since this morning, his scruff rubbing against me. It sends a spark through me, reminding me of the roughness of Drew’s kiss from all those years ago.

“I love you, Brooklyn.” He palms my lower back, forcing me against him. “So fucking much.”

“And I love you, Wes.” I open my eyes, meeting his, surprised how easily those words flow when I couldn’t say them a few minutes ago. “I’m worried it won’t be enough.”

A small smile builds on his lips, everything about him sincere. “It is enough. You’re more than enough, Brooklyn. You always have been. And you always will be. I’ll give you the space you need to figure things out. When I come home, we’ll start over again. I’ll propose all over again, and we can plan a new wedding years down the road we won’t tell anyone about, if that’s what you want. I’ll always give you exactly what you want.”

He brings his mouth to mine, treating me to a sweet kiss. It reminds me of the first time we kissed after our first date. He walked me up to this same door. We stood in almost the same spot. Nervous energy filled us, the anxious laughs and avoiding of eyes. Then he leaned in, brushing his lips so tenderly against mine. It wasn’t deep or full, a complete juxtaposition to the first time Drew kissed me. At the time, I thought that was a good thing.

“You’re the reason I smile,” he murmurs, then steps back. “I want to be the reason you smile, too.”

I pull my lip between my teeth, wishing I could tell him he was. When I don’t say anything, he sighs, retreating down the porch, his steps sluggish. I can’t help but feel like this is goodbye but neither one of us will admit it just yet.

His hand on his car door, he pauses, glancing over his shoulder. “I’ll be yours until the end.” The candor in his tone burrows deep into my soul. “I hope you’ll choose me.” Then he disappears into his Mercedes and drives off into the night.