Chapter 37
Ava
My breathing is ragged as the hiccups make their appearance following a crying spell like that. My body is spent, but I feel lightened by one hundred pounds after revealing the truth to Logan.
Petra’s betrayal has devastated me, but I don’t even care after knowing that Logan still loves me. Being by his side is the safest place in the world, and I feel completely protected as he drapes his arm around me.
“You’re staying with me today,” he says and I happily nod in silence as he signals to his driver.
His hand rubs my back in a circular pattern, soothing me without a word. I still can’t believe how desperately I needed him after Petra’s episode. While I feared that some of the nasty things she said about him were true, he was the only person I wanted after she was so mean to me. His voice alone was enough to calm me, and now I am just grateful to have him hold me.
With his hand moving to my head, his fingers begin to run through my hair as he looks out the window, obviously in deep thought, most likely about Petra being revealed as the thief. It was like he already knew with the way he asked me about her, but regardless, I don’t think I would have lied, because she doesn’t deserve to be protected any longer.
If I must choose between Logan and Petra, then I’m picking Logan any day of the week, any day of the year. But, as much as I want to believe everything is okay, I can sense there’s distance between us, despite how close we are physically.
I feel a vibration on my face, and Logan reaches into his suit before answering the phone.
“Yeah?” he answers.
I can’t make out what the other person is saying, but I can feel the tension as his body goes stiff.
“What? Are you fucking kidding me?” He lunges forward before holding the phone away and turning to me with a glare I’ve never seen from him before.
“Ava, why didn’t you cash the check I gave you?”
“What? What check?”
“The check I had couriered to your house after you cut me off.” His voice is rough, his eyes dark and angry.
“I thought it was a joke… and a bit disrespectful.” My voice is weak, and for the second time in a day I feel myself cowering as I shrink before him.
“Where is it?”
“Where is what?” I am so confused by his sudden change in attitude, I can’t even begin to gather my thoughts to articulate a full sentence.
“The check!” he roars.
“In my jewelry box, where I put it for safe keeping,” I say quietly, feeling my chin quiver.
“Go to Ava’s house!” he yells at the driver, who nods before making a U-turn.
“It was at her house. I’m taking her there now. I’ll call you when it’s done,” Logan says before tapping on the screen and shoving his phone back into his pocket.
“Why wouldn’t you cash it?”
“I don’t want your money,” I say. I flex my abdomen muscles, searching for strength anywhere I can find it.
“Yeah, yeah, you’ve made that awfully clear, Ava. Next time you don’t want someone’s money, destroy the fucking check,” he leans his head back, looking out the window as my heart shatters for the second time.
“What are you talking about? The check is in my jewelry box where it’s been since you gave it me,” I say, trying to understand why everything is spinning out of control and I’m losing everything. Not only have I lost my best friend, but the only man I’ve ever loved is dropping me off, probably to never speak to me again, over something I have nothing to do with.
In the heavy silence, I start to think over the day’s events. Petra brought the check up over our lunch, so I bet she has something to do with whatever is going on. Logan must think we’re in cahoots with each other, out to rob him or something.
No matter how I try to wrap my brain around it, I can’t begin to understand his reasoning. I’ve had every opportunity to take advantage of him and not one time have I done so. Instead, I’ve given him as difficult a time as one could give in my situation, refusing gifts and returning cash at every opportunity.
Looking out the window, I refuse to let him see me cry after the way he’s spoken to me. I can’t believe he would ever treat me like this. The thought makes me think of Petra, and all she said about him. She was right, I don’t mean anything to him, because you don’t treat someone this way when you love them.
Yes, I’ve kept a secret from him, but he kept one from me too, and I didn’t curse him or treat him like an animal. All I have is my reputation, and he didn’t care about that in the least bit.
Logan has more money than he can spend, and he’s upset over a check that he gave me, treating me like I stole the money from his sock drawer when it’s less than the cost of the car he drives around like a toy!
“Babe,” he says, pulling me away from my confused thought. However, I refuse to even look in his direction. I’ve had enough for the day, and cannot take another second of this emotional roller coaster I’m on.
“Ava,” he says my name sternly before wrapping his fingers around my wrist.
With a swift jerk, I fling his touch away, not wanting to feel him ever again.
“You’re going to ignore me?” he asks, his voice calm now that he’s apparently gotten over his temper tantrum.
“Can you please let me out on Third Street?” My voice cracks as I call to the driver, who looks over to Logan. My eyes turn just in time to see him shake his head.
“Ava baby, don’t cry,” Logan says in a gentle tone.
“Fuck you!” I yell, shocking myself with my bluntness. His jaw tenses, but I don’t care. I’m sick of being the victim while everyone in this awful city just walks all over each other. It’s like none of them know how to treat a person, and quite frankly, I’m sick of it!
“You’re all just mean,” I say in a moment of clarity, and a shadow of a smile crosses his face.
He smiles!
“Go ahead, you can laugh, Logan. Petra did the same thing. You two are one and the same. You just want to use people, because you don’t know how to accept that someone could actually love you after all the foul shit you both have done. I’m not a foul person, and I won’t be made to feel like one because I got caught between two mean people. You can joke about it if you want, but I don’t care. Kindness will take me much further than the deceit and carelessness you two embody.” Crossing my arms, I look out the window, my eyes now dry from the longest day of my life.
“Ava, I love you, I really do. And I know that you’re a good person and I’m not. That much I’m sure of. I believe everything you’ve ever told me, it’s just too much of a coincidence. I can’t imagine not being able to trust the person I spend the rest of my life with, and right now I don’t feel like I can trust you.”
His words feel like a shot to the chest and I just keep my eyes on the houses passing by the window.
By the time the car pulls to the curb in front of my house, I feel no more weakness, only vindication and strength, like I’ve broken through a glass ceiling of numbness after not dropping another tear from his words that tore through my heart.
I may have lost the two people I thought I loved most, but at least I got to tell Logan how I really felt. And now was my opportunity to give Petra the lashing she deserved, as I notice her Mercedes in the driveway.
“Here,” Logan hands me my purse.
“Thank you,” I say in a tight voice before nodding to the driver and thanking him for the ride.
Without another glance in his direction, I walk out of Logan’s life without so much as a goodbye.
I thought it was a forever type of love I’d never have to live without, but he’s just who Petra warned me about.
Taking a deep breath, I unlock my front door, ready to face the woman who has just destroyed my dream.