PENNY

 

THE DAY I'VE been dreading for the past four years is finally here.  I'm heading off to college in New York and leaving everything behind.  A part of me is excited to experience city life and escape the small town of Willowbrook, Alabama, but a much bigger part is absolutely terrified.

Pushing the last of my bags into the car, I let out a squeal when a pair of arms wrap around me, dragging me backwards.  "You wouldn't leave without sayin' goodbye now, would you, Penny Lane?" Colton asks, as he nuzzles his stubbled jaw against my neck.

He turns me around to face him.  The hot summer sun is beating down on us, and I stare up at him, squinting and taking in every feature of his face, as if committing it to memory.  His strong arms are wrapped around my waist as he looks down at me with his signature smirk, and I wish I could just pause this moment and soak it all in.  I miss him already, and I haven't even left yet.

Colton James Crawford.

Just thinking of my boyfriend makes butterflies erupt in my stomach.  With his dark, shaggy hair, chocolate eyes and all-American good looks, he causes my heart to pitter-patter whenever he's near…along with any female within a five-mile radius.  However, Colton only has eyes for me, and it's been that way faithfully since we were too young to even know what love was.

"I would never leave without saying goodbye to you," I murmur.

Our love story started out innocently enough.  He was the one that, at five years old, made me swear off all boys until the end of time when he put earthworms and dirt in my hair during recess.  I got him back, however, the next week by putting glue and glitter in his hair.  His mother was not happy when she had to shave his head, and I was grounded for over a month because of that incident.

The back and forth teasing between us slowly eased its way into friendship, and the friendship eventually blossomed into a love that was deeper than any love I have ever seen before.  Our love bloomed over the years, growing strong and vibrant like a beautiful and rare flower.  It was the kind of love you read about in romance novels, and I was lucky enough to experience it firsthand.

From the little boy who had made me hate him in kindergarten, Colton had grown into a brawny teenager with a heart of gold and who could make everything as right as rain with just a smile.  Yes, I was in love with that boy so deeply that I knew I would never reach the surface again no matter how hard I tried.  He definitely ruined me for anyone else.  No one would ever be able to take his place in my heart.

Colton sweeps me into his arms and swings me around until I cry out for mercy.  Laughing, he stops us abruptly and holds me tight.  "I love you, Penny Lane Preston," he says, while gazing down into my eyes.

"And I love you, Colton James Crawford."

He closes his eyes for a moment as he inhales and then sighs deeply.  "I can't believe you're leavin' today.  I knew this day was comin', but it just came too soon, you know?"

I nod in agreement.  I knew all too well how fast this day had come and how much I had been dreading it ever since high school graduation.  As we part ways for the next four years, my heart wants to split in two --- leaving one half in Alabama and the other half still beating in my chest while I'm in New York for college.

"Come with me," I suggest, repeating the same phrase I've been saying for the past several weeks.

And, of course, Colton's response is the same.  "I can't, Penny."  His dark brows draw tight.  "I wish I could go with you, but you know my dad needs me to help run the bar."

Colton's plan is to stay in Alabama and help his dad out with the family business.  His dad has been running Crawford's Bar by himself since Colton's mama died from cancer years ago, and I know he could use an extra hand in keeping the business afloat.

His forehead touches mine, and he bites his lower lip in thought.  "New York City is a hell of a long way from Bama, Penny."  He sighs sadly.  "What am I gonna do without you?"

I place my hands on his cheeks and meet his stare.  "I think you'll survive, Colt.  Besides, we're gonna call, text, email and visit as often as we can.  That's the agreement, right?"

He nods once, and I can see his tough exterior start to crack.  "I'm gonna miss you so damn bad.  I feel like a piece of my heart is gettin' ripped out of my chest."

I know the feeling.  Gently, I touch my palm to his chest over his heart and make a motion like I'm grabbing a part of it, and then I hold my cupped hand over my chest.  "I'll keep it safe for you until I'm back."

He grins a crooked grin, and my resolve starts to fracture.  I'm going to miss that grin.  Hell, I'm going to miss everything there is when it comes to Colton James.  The thing that kills me the most is that I'm having second thoughts about New York.  What if I don't even like it once I get up there?  I've never been that far away from home, and I'm scared that everything will change once I leave.

But just like my mama told me the other day, there is no room for second thoughts when it comes to New York.  My apartment and tuition have been paid for, and I'm already enrolled in all of my classes.  It's too late to back out.

I can do this, I tell myself.  It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience for me.  And after I'm done with school, I can come home and marry Colton just like I always wanted.  It's only a few years, and I'll come home during summer break.  We'll make it work.  We have to.

While I'm lost in deep thought, Colton pulls me impossibly closer to him, breathing in my scent and sighing softly against my neck.  His brows are furrowed, and he looks like he has a lot on his mind.  Seeing Colt have his doubts about all of this makes me all the more nervous.  I know deep down that we'll get through this.  We have survived everything in the past together, and that's just how it's going to be in the future.  I can't imagine my life without him.  He truly is my soul mate, and I believe that wholeheartedly.

"Are you gonna forget about me when you start makin' all your new college friends?" he asks, and I can hear the apprehension in his voice.

I pull back to stare into his eyes; and in all seriousness, I tell him, "I could never forget you, Colt."

He smiles that familiar smile and leans in to place a sweet kiss on my lips.  A dull ache forms in the middle of my chest, and I fight back my emotions.  I think I'm going to miss his kisses most of all.

"Say you'll remember me, Penny."  He whispers the request against my lips.

"Always," I whisper back.

 

_______________________

COLTON

 

PENNY'S ONLY BEEN gone for several months, but it feels like years.  Each day is agony with seconds that feel like minutes and minutes that feel like hours and hours that feel like days.

I miss her like crazy.  It's like she took a piece of my heart with her when she left, and I don't feel…whole.

Penny's mama has been bragging to the whole town about Penny's life up in New York ever since the day she left.  But then she dropped a bombshell several days ago that shattered my whole entire world.

Penny has a new boyfriend up in New York.

To say I was upset would be a fucking lie.  I was so much more than pissed off.  I was completely crushed, feeling like my fucking soul was obliterated into a million pieces.

We had been texting and calling each other every day, but it never seemed like it was enough.  And I guess it wasn't.  I know that now.

I was saving up money and working at my dad's bar so that I could afford a plane ticket to New York to visit Penny during her Christmas break.  She had wanted to come home to save me from spending my cash, but I'd told her I wanted to spend the holiday in the city, just the two of us, kissing in Rockefeller Center under that big ol' Christmas tree they put up every year.

But now Penny will be under that fucking tree with her new boyfriend.  And the thought makes me physically ill.

I haven't responded to her text or calls since I heard the gossip her mother's been spreading all over town.  I know I'm probably being stubborn and stupid, but I just can't bring myself to talk to her about it just yet.

I need a cooling off period before I ask her outright if she's been cheating on me.

It's late one night, and I'm sitting in the living room, feeling bored and miserable, as usual.  I've been in a depressed funk for about a week now, and I can't seem to drag myself out of it.

Connor, my little brother, is sitting on the adjacent recliner when his stomach growls so loud I can even hear it over the TV.  I glance up from my phone and chuckle.  "You literally just ate like an hour ago.  You know that, right?"

"I know."  He rubs a hand over his flat stomach under his black t-shirt.  The kid can really pack away the food.  As soon as he turned twelve, he went through a growth spurt, so he's almost as tall as me now.  It's hard for me to even refer to him as my little bro anymore.

"Let me guess.  You wanna make a food run," I suggest, already knowing his answer.

Connor perks up at my words.  "Yeah.  Can we?"

I glance at my watch.  It's a little before eleven, but we've made late-night food runs later than this before.  There's a McDonald's about twenty minutes away that's open all night, and it's kind of a Saturday night tradition that Connor and me grab a couple of burgers if we're sitting at home and bored out of our minds.  Besides, it helps to keep my mind off of the petite, pretty blonde that keeps running around in my mind…even if she did take my heart out of my chest and stomp on it.

"Go start the truck.  I'll leave Dad a note," I tell him.  Dad's still at the bar working.  It was starting to slow down around ten, so he let me skip out early tonight.

"Yeah!" Connor yells excitedly, pumping his fist in the air.

I can't help but laugh.  That kid loves nothing in the world more than football and eating.  At the rate he's growing, he's gonna make me look like his little brother soon.

Ten minutes later, we're cruising down a back road in Dad's old Chevy pickup truck.  Connor's fumbling with the radio stations, trying to find a good country song.  He settles on an old Alabama tune, Song of the South.

Grinning a shit-eatin' grin, Connor cranks the volume and then yells over top of the familiar violin riff, "Remember Dad used to play this song like every freakin' day when Mama was still alive?"

I nod and smile at the bittersweet memory.  Dad would spin Mama around the kitchen, dancing to this song.  It seemed like it was a nightly ritual with them before Mama got sick and the cancer started slowing her body down.  Mama was smiling up to the very end, though.  She refused to let her boys see her shed even one tear.

She was the strongest and kindest woman I've ever known.  It's hard to believe she's been gone for three years now.

Being familiar with this particular back road, I know we're approaching a curve near a pond, so I slow the truck's speed down.  I glance at the radio as Connor fumbles with the knob, looking for another station to listen to.  When my eyes go back to the road, all I can see is bright headlights coming straight for us.

Everything happens so fast after that.

The sound of metal crunching against metal.

The sound of tires and brakes squealing.

The smell of exhaust fumes.

The feeling of being thrown around.

I'm aware that we're moving…and then it feels like we're floating…floating on some kind of dark cloud.

Gasping for air, I startle awake.  Water fills my lungs, and I quickly cough it right back up.  There's a gaping hole in the windshield, and the cab of the truck is quickly becoming submerged in the pond.  We're sinking fast, and I know we need to get the hell out of here.

"Fuck!" I yell, fumbling with my seat belt, trying to hold my head above water.  My fingers don't want to work, but I force them to press against the button until the straps release.  Something wet is dripping down my forehead; and when I swipe at the liquid, my fingers come back coated in blood.

My stomach turns at the sight, but I force myself to concentrate.  "Connor?  Connor?" I yell.  His side of the cab is completely flooded, and I can't see him through the dark water.  I can't even tell if he's still next to me or if he managed to get out. I'm hoping it's the latter as I scoot across the bench seat and reach through the murky liquid, grasping at anything I can grab a hold of.  My fingers grip onto his cotton t-shirt, and I try to pull him towards me so he can get to the dwindling air pocket.  But he won't budge no matter how hard I tug.

It takes a moment for my foggy mind to come up with why I can't pull him out of his seat.  His seat belt must still be latched.

Panicked, I take a deep breath and move under the water.  It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust, and then I see Connor's lifeless body is still locked in place by the safety straps; his arms floating up above him to the ceiling of the cab.  I press as hard as I can on the release button, but it's jammed.

Tugging with all my strength, I practically scream under water as I try to free my little brother.  Every second that goes by is another second that he's not getting oxygen.

The truck groans as the cab finally fills entirely with water and begins to sink to the bottom of the pond.  The water rushing in through the windshield presses against me, and I lose my grip of Connor for a brief moment.  Once we're completely submerged, and the truck's tires hit the bottom, I'm able to try to work on the release button again.

My lungs scream in protest, but I fight past the need to breathe.  I'm not leaving Connor down here.  I'm not fucking leaving him! I scream subconsciously.

My fingers are bleeding; my nails completely shredded as I work and work against the strap, tugging and pulling with all of my might.  Grabbing a hold of Connor's shirt, I try to pull him out from under the belt, but it's too tight and locked against his body, and there is no give.

Black spots creep up on the edge of my vision, and I'm growing more and more lightheaded from the lack of oxygen.  I give my brother one last look before I vow to come back for him once I get some air into my lungs.

I turn towards the huge hole in the windshield and squeeze through it.  The broken glass shreds my arms and clothes on the way out.  And then I'm pumping my arms and legs, trying to reach the surface.

The moon is full, and I can see the light glowing above the dark water.  My fingertips reach towards the light, but I never make it.

My mouth opens, and I involuntarily take a breath, needing air, but instead getting nothing but water.

I struggle, my fingernails ripping at my burning throat as I continue to move towards the surface.

But I never make it to the light.

There's only darkness.