Chapter Twenty-Seven
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Zach couldn’t wipe the happy smile off of his face. Whistling a lilting tune, he bounded down the stairs two at a time, anxious to see Leann again even though it had only been about twenty minutes since the last time.
After last night’s lovemaking, he was sure Leann was the woman for him and he couldn’t get enough of their time together. He’d been so close to saying “I love you” when they were cuddling but it had felt like the wrong time to reveal his growing feelings. He didn’t want her to think he was saying it because of the sex. That wasn’t it at all. When this case was finished, he’d fix her a romantic meal and tell her with some champagne and candlelight. She deserved more than a confession after sweating up the sheets.
When he hit the bottom of the stairs, he could hear her on the phone.
“The house was nice but I’m worried about all the needed renovations. I’m just not sure I have the patience for that.”
Leann and Dizzy had looked at houses but it sounded like she hadn’t found one she was sold on. He’d been through the renovation grind so perhaps he could give her some advice.
“I’m not pulling the trigger on any purchase right now,” Leann continued. It was probably Dizzy on the other end. “I go back to Florida at the end of the week and there is still a great deal to decide. I don’t want to rush into anything that I’ll regret later.”
Was he one of those things? A knife-like pain had taken up residence in his chest as he listened into a conversation he wasn’t sure he was supposed to be privy to.
“I’m just not ready to buy a house. Things are so unsettled.”
It was time to make his presence known. Clearing his throat, he brushed past her into the kitchen to pour himself some coffee.
“Listen, Dizzy. Can I call you back later? Okay. I will. See you then.”
Leann hung up the phone as he added cream and sugar. Smiling, she stood on tiptoe to press a kiss on his cheek and then slid her arms around his waist. She smelled amazing as usual, all fresh and clean from her shower. He buried his nose in her silky tresses and inhaled the soft scent of coconut, an aroma he would forever link to her from now on.
“So what’s the plan for today?” she asked, pulling back to pop a few pieces of bread into the toaster. “Dizzy said that Logan wants to visit that motel and see if they saw Darrell’s girlfriend.”
That was indeed what Zach had planned for the morning, but he was just stupid enough to bring up her phone conversation instead of moving on to the new subject. He wasn’t into head games or beating around the bush. Straightforward and honest was how he tried to live his life and in this he didn’t know how to be any different. He had to know the truth.
“I overheard you say that you’re not going to buy a house.”
Turning away, he couldn’t see her expression as she stuck her head into the refrigerator to retrieve the butter. “Um…yeah. I haven’t seen anything that makes me want to put in an offer.”
“So you do want to buy a house? You just haven’t found the right one.”
That was completely different and he welcomed misunderstanding what she’d said.
“Eventually,” she said, bustling past him and lifting the hot toast and dropping it onto a plate.
“Eventually,” he repeated. “So you think you’ll just stay with Dizzy for awhile then?”
“Dizzy offered to let me stay with her.”
Leann hadn’t answered his question.
“So is that the plan?” he persisted. “What about your place down in Florida? Are you going to put it on the market or maybe rent it out?”
Zach was pushing her, he knew that. Leann was going to push back. It was in her nature and a tactic she’d learned young with all those brothers and cousins, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. He needed to know that she was going to be around, that this relationship wasn’t simply some vacation romance.
That it meant something. Because to him it meant a great deal.
“I don’t know yet. That’s a big decision.” She paused, spreading butter on her toast. “Why all the questions?”
Zach could pretend it was just idle curiosity but that would be a lie and no relationship could survive that way.
“It kind of looks like you’re still waffling back and forth about moving here, but you told me that you’d made the decision. Have you?”
Her cheeks turned pink and her gaze dropped to her plate. Not a good sign. “Sure I have. I’m moving home. I told you that.”
“But you haven’t told your family yet,” he reminded her, taking in the way she fidgeted in her chair. If she was a suspect in the interrogation room he’d be wary of anything she was saying.
“I will.”
“When? This Sunday at dinner?”
Huffing, she shrugged her shoulders. “Soon.”
Her phone was sitting right on the table between them. Without even being aware he’d done it he now had her cell in his hand, holding it out to her.
“Call them. They’ll be thrilled to hear it. What are you waiting for?”
Zach couldn’t seem to stop himself, although he knew this wasn’t going to end well. He was feeling insecure as if the ground was slowly giving way underneath his feet. He’d gone out on a limb with Leann but it looked like he was out there all alone.
She dropped her toast onto the plate, the color in her cheeks higher. “Why are you pushing this, Zach?”
“Why are you delaying?” he shot back, that pain in his heart more acute than before. “I think it’s because you’re still…after all this time…not sure about coming back. You’re not sure about me.”
Rolling her eyes, she groaned and jumped up from the table. “Don’t make this about you. This isn’t about you at all.”
“Then tell me what it is about. Tell me what’s holding you back. Maybe I can help.”
Leann didn’t seem to know what to do with her hands, and eventually she shoved them in the pockets of her jeans. Maybe what she really wanted to do was smack his face for giving her a hard time.
“It’s none of your business.”
That knife in his chest twisted slowly, the agony excruciating. Whatever had been growing between them had just been cut off at the knees with that one statement. He was incredibly glad he hadn’t revealed his feelings last night. Clearly she didn’t share them. Already he could feel the distance growing between them, all because he’d dared to ask about her moving home. The nerve of him, wanting to know when his girlfriend was going to live in the same town.
He finished off his coffee and stood from the table. “I’ll be ready to leave in five minutes. I’ll drop you at the office. You and Dizzy can spend the day with Jason while Logan and I chase down a few leads.”
Tuning on his heel, he headed upstairs, not allowing himself to look back. Leann was too afraid to move home so falling in love was probably out of the question. He couldn’t take a chance on her if she wasn’t willing to take a chance on him.
* * *
The conversation had spun out of control so quickly and Leann hadn’t been able to stop it. With a pit of despair in her belly, she watched Zach’s retreating figure disappear upstairs, leaving her alone in the kitchen. Alone. If she wasn’t careful that was exactly how she was going to end up. A cranky old woman with cats telling kids to get off of her lawn. Except she wouldn’t have a lawn because she couldn’t seem to get her shit together and make the commitment to move home and buy a house.
“What is my problem?” she muttered under her breath.
Leann wanted to move home. She’d made the decision and it was a done deal. There were a myriad of details to work out – her job, her condo and other smaller decisions – but she’d get through them one by one. She was excited about returning home to be closer to her family, Dizzy, and Zach.
But when he’d handed her that phone she’d froze, unable to make the call that would change everything. Her family would be thrilled and then they’d start “helping” her, but their help always came with a heaping dose of pressure. She wanted to do this on her own terms but her hesitation had sent the wrong message to Zach. He thought she was backing out and that she didn’t care about him. Nothing could be further from the truth.
She’d screwed up royally by not voicing her fears to Zach. She wasn’t, however, all that proud of the fact that she was hesitant and scared. She was a grown woman – at least that’s what she kept telling her brothers – and at the moment it counted the most that she hadn’t stood up, been honest, and admitted her weakness. If she was going to go around and whine that she was a grownup then maybe she ought to act like it. So far she’d done a piss poor job of it, acting like a child.
This was all about those boundaries she’d been trying to build. She should call her parents, tell them she was moving back, and then deal with whatever came after.
Like an adult.
It was beginning to dawn on Leann that the reason her family treated her like she was still a teenager was because she was acting like it. She’d been avoiding this very moment for years, taking the easy road. She’d done it again only a few moments ago when Zach asked her a perfectly reasonable question.
When are you going to tell them?
Now. She was going to tell them now. She’d start with Jason at the office and then call her parents. Words wouldn’t fix this with Zach. He needed to see action and she’d give it to him.
She was moving home and it was far past time.