Dani

I shouldn’t have said it. I knew it when the words left my mouth, but it was too late to take them back. I felt Cavan pause, felt his muscles stiffen, and I knew I’d hurt him. This man who was so strong and impossible to rattle—my words had cut him.

And it was true, I wanted to erase McMurphy, everything he’d ever done to me. But it was a lie, too. I wanted Cavan. I wanted his secrets, his complexity, the things he thought behind his eyes but didn’t tell me. I wanted his scarred heart. And yes, I very much wanted his body—every inch of it I could get.

I was only going to get one of those things tonight. But he was my husband now; the other things, I would work on.

We fell on the bed, tangling together. His hair was shorter, his beard more trim, and I kept running my fingers over him, feeling the difference. Long hair or short, he was the most gorgeous man I’d ever seen. The shorter hair—and the suit he’d been wearing until he’d stripped it off an hour ago—should have made him look more clean cut, but it didn’t. Cavan Wilder wasn’t capable of looking clean cut. When he cleaned up, he just looked dangerous in a different way. Nothing changed the look in those gray eyes, hard and yet sad enough you wanted to kiss him. Nothing changed the sexy line of his mouth or the gracefulness of the muscles beneath his clothes or the taut beauty of his skin. Nothing changed his clean, spicy smell or the crinkle between his eyes. The bruise over his eyebrow only added to the aphrodisiac effect.

He put me on my back and nipped the skin of my stomach with his teeth. “Legs open, Dani,” he said.

He was going to take control, then. My body throbbed harder at the thought. This had always been part of my weakness with men—some shameful part of me liked it when they told me what to do. But with Cavan, I could let it go. Because when Cavan told me what to do, it was because he had something in mind that I’d like.

I opened my legs like I’d been told, and he stroked me open, bent his head, and licked me, once again proving me right.

He was so good at it. So good that despite the fact that my body was skyrocketing exactly the way he intended it to, I was hit by a bolt of doubt. I grabbed his hair and interrupted him. “Why are you so good at this?” I asked.

He smiled at me from between my legs. “Worried?” he asked.

Was I? I just felt tight, strange. Despite his crazed jealousy, with McMurphy there had always been someone else, someone he liked better, at least for the moment. Someone he’d rather have.

My husband dipped his mouth to my hipbone and sucked the skin briefly between his teeth, a pain so exquisite I gave a helpless moan. “You taste good,” he said. “I’m inspired.”

“But you’ve done it a lot,” I insisted. I didn’t know where this panic was coming from, bubbling up from somewhere deep. I just knew it felt out of control and I couldn’t stop it.

“Dani, Dani,” he said. He laughed softly against my skin, then moved up my body. I should have smacked him, but somehow that laugh sounded deadly serious. “You really want to know the answer?”

“No,” I said, panicked again.

“Too late,” he said. He was at my breasts now, and he paused to take one of my nipples in his mouth, making me moan again. He sucked softly and let me go. “Not a lot,” he said. “But you’ve seen my ink work.” He lowered to my other nipple and sucked it, then let it go. “When I do something important, I take the time to do it properly.”

My pulse was beating in my throat. He was saying I was important. “Cavan, when I said what I said, I didn’t mean—”

“Stop,” he said. “It doesn’t matter.” He moved up and kissed my neck, winding his hand in my hair. “Forget it. Forget everything. Are you on the pill? Because I’m clean, and to fuck you properly, I need to do it bare.”

Can you die of arousal? I felt like I was going to find out. “Yes,” I told him. “And I’m clean.” That was one thing I’d done right with McMurphy: condoms, always condoms, plus the pill. I’d snuck two blood tests since I’d been with him just to be sure. I’d always spit, never swallowed. All of it seemed insane now, like a faraway nightmare. I would never have to do all of that again. Instead I had my husband, gloriously naked in bed with me. “Kiss me,” I told him.

He did. A different kiss, yet again, from the ones he’d given me before. Deep but soft, dirty and affectionate at the same time. I wound my arms around his neck and we made out like teenagers, his hands first on my breasts, then around my waist and back as he pulled both of us upright, me on his lap. He moved me—God, he was strong—until we were backed against the headboard of the bed, my ass perched on it, my legs wrapped tight around his hips. Then he braced a hand against the wall next to my head, angled me just so, and thrust into me.

I moaned into his mouth. He moved out of me, then in again. “Like that,” he said softly, breaking the kiss. “Just there.”

He moved again and again, the angle just right, pinning me to the headboard, letting him land deep inside me. I couldn’t hold him tight enough. I squeezed him with my thighs, my arms around his neck. He felt so good. I had never been so close to another person before, even during sex—so close I felt every breath, every smooth slide of his muscles, the noise he made in his throat as he worked deeper and deeper.

“More,” I said, gripping my hands in his hair.

“Greedy woman,” he said against my mouth, altering the angle of his hips just a little. He pressed inside me and slowed down, kissing the line of my jaw. “You feel that?” he said. “That’s me. No one else. Just me.”

I did feel it. Just him, giving me everything, taking everything in return. Then he hit a spot that made the world light up inside me even more than it already had. “Cav,” I said, digging my nails into him. “Cav—”

“There?” he asked. There was sweat on his back, beneath my nails, but he didn’t break his rhythm. Instead he evened it out, slow and steady, rubbing that one spot. “Oh,” he said in a pleased voice as he felt my body go stiff, the pleasure pulsing through me. “This is going to be good.”

It was. I went off, every part of me lighting up as I made a wild sound and my body bucked against him. He held me still, his hard body pinning mine, and when I passed the peak I felt him move deep into me and come, an animal growl in his throat.

We caught our breath, sweaty and tangled together, for a long minute. I was still wrapped around him; I didn’t want to let go. He didn’t seem to mind. He kissed the side of my neck.

I pressed my face against his shoulder. I had so much to say, and no words to say it. “Thank you,” I said.

He laughed softly, a vibration against me. “You’re welcome, I guess. Though I got something out of that.” He kissed the side of my neck again. “Get some rest. Round two starts in thirty minutes.”

I arched up and kissed his jaw, the soft beard familiar. “What about round three?”

“Greedy woman,” he said agreeably, nuzzling me. “I’m older than you. I’m not sure how many rounds I can go. But I’m willing to give it my best shot.”

I smiled. “That’s all I ask.”