CHAPTER 32

Brian

The lunch with Lanie and Amanda was fantastic. I took them to a great restaurant where we ate like kings while we talked all about Amanda’s plans for the gallery. She told me about her vision as Lanie snuggled in her lap, and as the conversation flowed by it was close to dinner before we even thought about leaving. We drove up the mountain as Lanie talked about watching a movie, then the three of us settled in for a rousing evening of Lanie’s favorite.

Snow fucking White.

I could recite that entire thing by heart. I knew every part that made her laugh and every part that made her scared. I could sing all the songs with her, and I could fake surprise whenever something happened that made Lanie jump. I loved how much she enjoyed that movie, but I sometimes wished she had another one she enjoyed just as much.

Eventually, Lanie started getting tired. The sun had set, and the movie had ended, and she was struggling to keep her eyes open. I went to go pick Lanie up and put her to bed, but Amanda swatted me away before she got up.

“You stay here. I’ve got it.”

I listened as Amanda tucked Lanie in. I heard her singing lightly to my niece as I readied the stage for our conversation. I opened up a bottle of wine and poured us both a nice, tall glass, and by the time Amanda was tip-toeing out of Lanie’s room I was standing at the end of the hallway with one in my hand.

Our eyes locked momentarily as a mood settled upon Amanda features. Her eyes grew somber, and her shoulders rolled back. She was readying herself for the talk we promised each other we would have, and it was about time. We had a lot to discuss, and I had a lot that she needed to know.

“Thanks,” she said as she took the wine.

We sat down on the couch and silence descended over us. I had started a fire in the fireplace to try and set some sort of relaxing mood and take the chill out of the air. I wasn’t good at this kind of shit. I wasn’t good at opening up to people. And now, I was supposed to tell this woman who I’d only known for a couple of weeks that I had feelings for her.

“Do you want me to start?” Amanda asked.

“Actually, I was hoping you’d let me,” I said.

“Okay. Go ahead. Say whatever you need to say.”

I took a deep breath before beginning. “First off, I want to start by thanking you for everything you’ve done for Lanie and me.”

“You don’t have to keep thanking me,” she said, giggling. “I was happy to do it.”

“The lengths you were willing to go to, though, not many people would be willing to do what you did.”

My words faltered for a minute as I stared at the beauty that sat quietly across from me. Her body was close enough for me to touch, but her mind seemed a thousand miles away. I was truly freaked that if I told her I was in love with her, she would run. But somehow, deep down, I didn’t think she would

I could tell Amanda was as scared as I was. Could Jack have been right? Was it possible for her to have feelings for me as well? I reached over and took her hand as she brought her wine glass to her lips. Our eyes connected as my thumb swirled on top of her skin, and somehow I knew. I knew she felt the same way. I could see it in the way she looked at me. How I had ever missed that look was beyond me, but I felt my heart taking off from the ground as I squeezed her hand tight.

I scooted myself close to her and wrapped my arm around her waist. I pulled her into me, allowing myself to take in her warmth as we drank our glasses of wine by the fire. I leaned my lips down to the top of her head and pressed a gentle kiss there, knowing that it was time.

It was time I told her the truth.

“There’s something I really need to tell you,” I said as she turned those gorgeous emerald eyes up to mine.

Amanda shifted so that she could look at me head on, and her shoulders were set in a way that said she was slightly afraid that I might ask her to leave. I saw the same vulnerability behind her eyes that I felt in my gut. The fear of telling someone you love them and having them throw it back in your face. My ex-wife had really fucked me up, and I knew her ex-boyfriend had done the same to her. Our communication thus far, frankly sucked, and if I was going to make a permanent place for this woman in my life and in Lanie’s life, that needed to change now.

I held Amanda’s hands firmly in mine, and looked her square in her eyes as I began to speak.

“You are a remarkable woman. You are persistent and intelligent. Playful and funny. You have this sass about you that fills a room with your presence. When my ex-wife did to me what she did, I never thought I would open myself back up to the idea of being with a woman. And when Lanie came to live me with, I completely tossed the idea out the window.”

I felt Amanda squeeze my hand as she inched closer to me.

“But?” she asked.

I looked up into her eyes and saw her smiling at me.

“But you were different. From the moment I first saw you stuck in the staircase in that cabin, I knew you were different. You’re curious, always poking and prodding and trying to figure things out. Your curiosity was annoying at first, but it morphed into one of the many things I fell in love with.”

I watched tears rise in Amanda’s eyes as I closed the distance between our bodies.

“I’ve fallen for you, Amanda. And I needed you to know that. Because I do want to marry you, and not just to give Lanie a good home.”

I watched as Amanda’s face got closer to mine. Her body was off the couch and sliding into my lap as her arms wrapped around my neck. Our glasses of set off to the side as we clung to each other, our tongues dancing their old familiar steps. I could taste the red wine on her lips as my cock rose to attention, searching for the heat I knew only she could provide. She straddled my lap and pressed herself into me, my hands gripping her hips and running up her back.

“I’ve fallen for you, too, Brian.”

Her words hit me like a cannonball. My eyes flew open, and I found her staring at me, a playful grin on her cheeks. I hugged her close and peppered her neck with kisses, allowing myself to fully breathe her in without restraint for the first time since I’d met her. I was going to make love to this woman. I was going to show her exactly what she meant to me. I was going to mark her as mine and spend the rest of my days giving her everything she could ever want.

The rest of my days.

“Amanda,” I said.

“Yeah?”

“Let’s get married tomorrow.”

She pulled back from me and looked into my eyes with a blissful expression on her face.

I scooted her off my lap and sat her on the couch. I slid to the floor and got on one knee, then took her hand within mine. Her eyes were watering with tears, and my heart was slamming against my sternum. I could feel my body filling with a state of happiness I hadn’t experienced in years.

“Amanda Scott, you are a wonderful woman. A woman that has brought so much joy and happiness and love into Lanie’s and my life. You are selfless, beautiful, talented, intelligent, and your big heart has somehow found a way to embrace my niece and me. Amanda, will you marry me tomorrow?”

The smile that spread across her face was one that would forever be etched in my memory. She threw her arms around me, her lips colliding into mine. I could feel her smiling and giggling as I laid us down on the floor, the fire barreling heat down onto our bodies as she laid on top of me. I felt full. For the first time in my life, I felt that my life had finally come to a head. I was holding my future in my arms while the rest of my future slept away in her small little bed at the back of the house.

“Yes,” Amanda said. “I will marry you tomorrow.”

“Mommy?”

Amanda and I looked over to the hallway. Lanie was wrapped up in her blanket with tears streaming down her face. She pushed up off my chest and ran to Lanie, scooping her up in her arms as I got myself off the floor.

“Lanie? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nightmare,” Lanie said, sniffling.

“Oh, sweetie. It’s okay. It’s fine. Come here.”

I watched as Amanda scooped Lanie into her arms and carried her down the hallway. But instead of taking Lanie back into her room, she took a right and carried her into mine. I walked in and saw Amanda snuggling with Lanie underneath the covers, and I grinned as I leaned up against the doorway.

“Daddy? Come sleep?” Lanie asked.

Tears welled in my eyes as I heard that name hit my ears.

“Like one big happy family?” Amanda asked.

I was looking at my entire life, encompassed in the bodies of two beautiful girls. I approached the bed and slipped underneath the covers. Amanda cradled Lanie from one side as I cradled her from the other, and the three of us drifted off to sleep that night in one another’s arms. I had dreams of our life together. Of growing old and gray with Amanda as we watched Lanie find her way in life. I had dreams of hikes and arguments and graduations and birthdays. Dreams of lovemaking and vacations and prestigious functions at art galleries around the world. I saw Amanda succeeding and Lanie smiling. I saw Lanie getting her first job and having her first date. I saw Amanda helping Lanie get ready for prom while I talked down the boy standing at the door who was there to pick her up.

I saw the three of us as a family, and I woke up the next morning ready to marry the woman I loved.