Chapter 16

By the time Steve and Will returned, bright-eyed and flushed from the cold, the other kids had made it downstairs, looking much sleepier than the snowshoers. The younger three had, however, perked up at the smell of bacon and were filling their plates with it, as well as pancakes, eggs, and fruit.

“You made breakfast?” Steve said, moving over to stand next to her by the stove, where she was monitoring the last round of pancakes. It was hard to be that close to him and not kiss him, but Camille didn’t want to shove their new relationship in the kids’ faces, especially at this ungodly hour. Besides, she was a little nervous about what their reactions would be.

“There’s bacon?” Will broke in before she could answer, sliding into his seat at the table. “Can Camille live here forever?”

“I’d be okay with that,” Steve said under his breath, making her stomach do a funny little flip and squeeze that only seemed to happen when Steve was around. He leaned in to her briefly, pressing their shoulders together for a fraction of a second before stepping back to a more discreet distance. “Can I help?”

Flustered by even that small touch, she focused a little too intently on flipping the pancakes onto a plate. “Here.” She shoved the plate at him, desperate to have some kind of barrier between them so she wasn’t tempted to start climbing him in front of the kids. “That’s the last of them. Can you put them on the table with the rest?” She gave him an apologetic look, knowing she was behaving oddly. Seeing that the corners of his mouth were tucked in that way they did when he was holding back a smile, she knew that he was well aware of why she was so discombobulated—and he was amused by it.

The sound of the front door opening caught her attention. Lucy, who’d been eyeing the platter of bacon with a scheming look in her eyes, darted into the other room. Although she got along well with everyone in the family—especially Micah, who let her share his pillow at night—new arrivals always made her wary.

“’Morning,” Nate called out. By the amount of stomping and rustling as outerwear was being taken off, he wasn’t the only one who’d arrived. She raised her eyebrows at Steve, who gave her a slight shrug. As soon as their uncles had arrived, all four kids grabbed for the bacon, piling extra on their plates.

“Manners,” Steve said, although he sounded more resigned than upset. He pulled out Camille’s chair and waited for her to sit before taking his own seat next to her. “The kids are right, though. You’d better get some bacon now before my brothers get a crack at it.”

Nate, Ryan, and Joe came into the kitchen, all three looking like they’d just rolled out of bed. Their eyes fixed on the food, even as Nate and Ryan greeted everyone, and they hurried to take their chairs at the end of the table.

“Since when do you three come for breakfast?” Steve asked mildly, piling some bacon on Camille’s plate before taking his own and passing the platter to Joe. As she watched in amazement, the rest of the bacon disappeared from the serving plate.

“Zoe texted us,” Ryan said, reaching for the scrambled eggs as Joe forked a huge stack of pancakes onto his plate. “Said that Camille cooked and”—he popped a piece into his mouth, winking at her—“that there was bacon.”

Everyone’s eyes turned to Zoe, and she held her hands out in a shrug. “I thought I was just texting Uncle Joe, but I guess it was a group text. Sorry.”

“Hey,” Nate grumbled, and Ryan raised an eyebrow at her.

Zoe didn’t look at all ashamed she’d played favorites. “What? Uncle Joe gets me all the parts I need, even when they’re really hard to find.”

“There’s plenty,” Steve said calmly, prying the pancake platter out of Nate’s hands before he could take any and offering it to Camille. She took two, giving him a small smile of thanks, and he returned the platter to Nate. Steve offered her eggs the same way, and she had to hold back a snicker at the indignant look on his brothers’ faces when he pulled the food right out of their hands. “It does mean that you’re going to be here for a family discussion.”

Ryan seemed unbothered, while Joe looked up, his fork halfway to his mouth. He stared at his food, as if debating if it was worth staying, and then gave a soundless sigh and resumed eating.

Nate looked back and forth between Steve and Camille. “What’s the discussion about? Are the two of you finally admitting that you’re dating?”

At Nate’s direct question, Camille stopped breathing for a second. Her gaze darted around the table, looking from face to face, trying to judge their reactions. The kids didn’t seem obviously upset, but she wondered if they were hiding their true feelings.

“Now that you’ve just blurted it out…” Steve gave Nate an exasperated look. “Yes, Camille and I are in a relationship.”

For some reason, Steve’s bald confirmation of Nate’s guess made Camille even more uneasy. The kids seemed to like her, but there was a world of difference between liking a temporary guest and liking their dad’s girlfriend. Also, she and Steve hadn’t discussed the whole relationship thing or even touched on what they were going to say to the kids—or his brothers.

“We are?” she blurted, drawing everyone’s attention. She focused on Steve’s brothers first, since a negative reaction from the kids would hurt a lot more than one coming from Ryan or Nate or Joe. Nate shook his head, Joe concentrated on eating, and Ryan stared at her, his lips in a tight, straight line. Uncomfortable, she glanced away and ended up meeting Steve’s gaze, which wasn’t much better.

“Yes,” he said firmly, although she thought he looked hurt. Instantly, she felt guilty. “At least, I thought we were. Don’t you want to be?”

“Yes, I just…” Everyone was staring at her, and she felt the urge to babble pushing at her, but she resisted. “I wish the two of us had talked about it first.”

“Talk about what?” Steve sounded honestly confused, and she tried to think of the best way to express her feelings, which was hard enough to do when they were alone, without seven pairs of eyes on them.

“Whether you’re actually in a relationship, for starters, sounds like,” Ryan muttered, and Camille shot him a shut up look. He must’ve interpreted it correctly, because he imitated Joe and focused on his food.

“Do you not want to date me?” Now the hurt was evident in Steve’s voice, even though his tone was calm and steady, as usual. All four kids turned accusing eyes toward Camille, and she put her hands up defensively.

“It’s not that!” She scrambled to put her thoughts into phrases that made sense, even as her brain spun with everything that was happening. “I do want to, and I’m happy we…” She quickly edited what she was about to say to make it suitable for the kids’ ears. “I’m glad we’re in a relationship, and I like you…a lot.” Mentally wincing at the understatement, she plowed on, willing to humiliate herself if that would make the hurt in his eyes go away.

“I’m just not good at this, at talking…about this feelings thing, especially, and it’s hard enough when it’s just the two of us, so it’s even harder when I’m in front of everyone, because I like the kids, too—so much—and it’s so important to me that I’m worthy of all of you liking me back, so having to do something that I’m brutally bad at in front of everyone, knowing I’m going to crash and burn and babble and not make any sense…” She trailed off as she got turned around in her thoughts and lost her nerve, pretty much at the same time.

Silence settled heavily over the kitchen as Camille poked at her pancakes with her fork, wishing that Nate had started this discussion after they’d eaten—or, better yet, never started it at all. She sighed silently, knowing they would’ve had to talk about it with the kids at some point. She just wished she could’ve had a little more of the floaty, happy feeling before she destroyed everything.

“I like you.” Maya was the first one to speak, and Camille felt a huge rush of gratitude. If she’d been a hugger, she would’ve given Maya a squeeze. Since she wasn’t, especially with the awkward tension hanging over the kitchen at the moment, she gave what she could—a piece of bacon from her plate. Maya accepted it with a grin and promptly ate it.

“I like you,” Will said. Camille had to wonder if the bacon had been part of his motivation to speak next. Even so, she appreciated the sentiment, so she reached across the table and dropped a piece on his plate. Picking it up, he saluted her with it. “I’m fine with you two dating or whatever. I’m just glad you and Dad have stopped doing that weird, awkward flirting thing you’ve been doing.”

“I second that,” Nate added. “I’ve never seen two people so bad at flirting. It was painful to watch. And here I thought Steve was good at everything.” Camille winced a little, and Nate hurried to continue. “I like you, too, Camille. You’re a really likable person.”

She suddenly worried that they thought she’d been fishing for compliments with her mess of a monologue, and she started to say something to that effect, but Zoe interrupted before she could.

“Uncle Nate and Maya and Will are right,” she said, “and not just about you being likable and nice to all of us. I’m glad you’re with Dad and that you’re going be staying here.”

Staying here? The words rang through Camille’s head, making her realize that there was another aspect of her and Steve’s relationship she hadn’t thought out. She’d planned to get a new place once the insurance company payment came through, but she hadn’t considered whether she’d be leaving now that they were together. Of course, maybe the reason she hadn’t thought about it yet was because they’d been together for one night. Shoving that whole minefield out of her head, she gave Zoe a piece of bacon.

“Where’s mine?” Nate asked. “I said nice things about you.”

He’d also said that she was painfully bad at flirting—and started this whole mess to begin with—but she really couldn’t blame him for that, since it was true. She handed over the bacon.

Steve had been quiet next to her, and she’d avoided looking at him so far, even though she could feel the heavy weight of his gaze on the side of her face. Was he angry, still hurt, confused? Or, even worse, amused? She wished he’d say something before her imagination made her start panicking.

“You’re fine.” Micah’s scratchy voice surprised her, as did his obvious irritation. When she glanced at him, he wasn’t looking at her. Instead, his scowl was focused on his father. “We all like you, including Dad. He’s being a dick.”

“Language, Micah.” Despite the correction, Steve didn’t sound angry.

“Fine, a jerk, then. She’s like me. She needs to have time to think about things. You and Uncle Nate dumped this on her with all of us here, and then you acted like it was her fault for freaking out. It’s kind of a big deal. I mean, she’s not getting just you. She has to take all of us. That’s a lot for someone who doesn’t really like people. Give her a minute to think about it.”

Camille wanted to stand up and applaud, but she knew Micah wouldn’t appreciate it. Instead, she blinked back tears and reached for a piece of bacon. Hers was gone, so she took one off Steve’s plate and handed it to Micah. He gave her a small lift of his chin as he accepted the slice.

She heard Steve let out a heavy breath, and she braced herself for whatever he was going to say. She had access to her money now, and she’d gotten new keys made for her car, thanks to Zoe’s hot-wiring skills, so she could go stay at the hotel in Ebba if he kicked her out. The thought of it made her sick to her stomach, though.

“You’re right, Micah.” Steve turned toward Camille, leaning his head closer to hers. “I shouldn’t have announced it like that without talking with you. I seem to be screwing up all sorts of conversations lately. I’m sorry.” His voice was so quiet that she felt the words against her ear as much as she heard them. “I knew I said the wrong thing, but I wasn’t sure how to fix it.” He moved his hand so it brushed against hers. Even with the whole disastrous family meeting happening, she couldn’t stop the shiver that zipped down her spine at that small touch. “Forgive me?”

Her whole body relaxed as his words penetrated, and she felt as though her bones had transformed into jelly. She hadn’t been sure what he was going to say, but she hadn’t expected an apology. Unable to speak without her voice shaking, she gave him a small, stiff nod and interlaced her fingers with his.

He squeezed her hand, his forehead resting against her temple for a moment as he let out a long breath. Camille wondered if he was as relieved as she was that they were back on less-shaky footing. They stayed like that until Joe cleared his throat.

“Camille,” he muttered, and she looked at him in surprise. He never spoke much unless he had to, especially to her. “You’re okay.”

For some reason, that struck her as almost as touching as the kids’ statements—until she saw him eyeing Steve’s pile of bacon and then turning his expectant gaze to her. The lump in her throat turned into a choked laugh, and she shrugged. Grabbing a piece of bacon, she handed it over to Joe, who gave her a slight, Micah-like nod and the bacon a tiny, triumphant grin.

Maya started giggling, which set Camille off, and then everyone at the table—except for Joe and Ryan—started laughing. Camille knew it was the tension relief that everyone needed, rather than a reaction to something actually funny, but it did its job. Everyone relaxed, the conversation turning to other less emotional topics as they finished their breakfast and started cleaning up.

“Okay,” Steve said, loudly enough to get everyone’s attention. “Will, Micah, and Zoe, your bus will be here in fifteen minutes. Maya, you have twenty-five, so you’re on lunches since the others will be rushing. Micah, after school, plan on helping me and Buttercup move that downed tree in the north pasture and then fixing the fence it took out.”

The three older kids scattered to get ready, and Maya started a packed-lunch assembly line with Joe and Nate’s help. Mumbling something about an appointment, Ryan rushed off. He’d been unusually quiet all through breakfast, and Camille hoped things wouldn’t be weirder than normal between them.

Steve helped her finish loading the dishwasher, standing a little closer than absolutely necessary, but Camille didn’t mind at all. After accepting his apology, her mood had bounced back up to pre-family-meeting levels, and she couldn’t wait for the next time they were alone together.

Micah was ready a minute or so before his siblings, so he was double-checking the contents of his backpack at the table when Camille approached him.

“Is what you said earlier the reason you have tree-and-fence duty this afternoon?”

He glanced up, looking surprised. “It’s not a bad thing. Dad knows I like working with Buttercup.”

“Good.” She shifted as he lowered his gaze to his books and folders. Giving in to impulse, she wrapped an arm around his shoulders and squeezed him in a side hug. “Thank you for having my back earlier. I promise I’ll do the same for you if you ever need it.” She started to pull away, worried that the quick embrace might have made him uncomfortable, but he leaned into her side, surprising her into holding the hug longer. Emotion tightened her chest, and she blinked rapidly, batting away any potential tears. She had a moment of enormous gratitude that she had a chance to be in this sweet kid’s life—in all of their lives. It wasn’t until he started to shift away that she withdrew her arm, schooling her expression so she didn’t reveal how deeply touched she’d been by his simple acceptance of her hug.

Zipping up his backpack, he gave her a sideways look. “You’re willing to call Dad the d-word for me?”

“Yes. The d-word, the s-word, the a-word, the c-word if he’s being really rude, and even the m-word,” she promised.

He paused, his gaze distant with thought.

“Let’s go, Micah!” Will said, blasting by him into the entryway, Zoe close behind.

Micah picked up his backpack and headed after them, but he stopped in the doorway and looked at Camille over his shoulder. “Oh! That m-word.” He actually grinned, and the smile lit up his face. “I can’t wait to see that.”

“See what?” Steve asked as Micah left, looping an arm around her waist. Her first instinct was to stiffen, but then she realized that they were now alone in the kitchen, since Maya was upstairs getting ready and the remaining two uncles had taken off once the packed lunches were completed. She melted back into him, enjoying their brief moment of privacy.

“Oh, it might not happen.” The thought of Micah’s happy expression made her smile.

“Camille,” he said after a slight pause, and she looked up at him, instantly wary at the hesitation in his voice.

“Yes?” She almost didn’t want to hear whatever he was going to say, since she was pretty much maxed out as far as dramatic moments went.

“I’d like us to be together.” He cleared his throat, sounding so nervous that, if he hadn’t had both arms around her, she was pretty sure he’d have been rubbing the back of his neck. “If that’s what you want, too.”

She relaxed, the words running through her like liquid sunshine, warming her everywhere. “Yes. I do want that. And I want to be with your kids, too. I’m not so sure about your brothers, but they don’t live with us, so I should be fine with limited contact.”

His laugh sounded relieved and so, so happy. “That is exactly the way I feel about them, so this should work out beautifully.”

She hugged his arms against her middle, smiling. Maybe it wasn’t just a daydream. Maybe real life actually could be this wonderful.