Kate could see that Ryan was fighting the war of the century in his brain against his body and his wolf. The wheels turning in his head while his erection fought for control of his body. She was personally betting on the erection winning, but his steely resolve had surprised her thus far.

He was still trying to square something away in his head. Maybe it was just the whole the-Oklahoma-alpha-needs-to-stay-single shit. To her, it sounded like a load of crap, but people would probably shit on some of the El Paso pack’s rules too. Hell, she had more than enough to say about them. She disagreed with how her alpha ran everything.

Ryan took the next highway exit and followed the main drag all the way to downtown Tyler. The road turned to brick and the buildings went from new chains and cookie cutter edifices to old and refined. Something from another era.

“What are we doing?” Kate asked, watching an old movie theatre pass on her right—the kind with a marquee sign out front. A couple of mom and pop restaurants and a bar occupied the next few buildings.

“We’ve been driving a couple of hours. I figured you might be hungry.”

Kate glanced at the clock on the dashboard. Sure enough, it was almost noon. “Did I fall asleep?” She didn’t remember it, but with all the stress and pain from her grandfather’s alpha bond, it wouldn’t surprise her.

“You dozed off a few times,” he said, his tone gentle. He reached over and ran his knuckles up and down her bare arm. “You doing okay? No pain?”

She nodded. “He seems to have relented for the time being.”

“Good. Golden Arches or Wendy’s?” He pointed to the swiftly approaching line of fast food restaurants. They’d passed through most of the older downtown buildings. These were brand new.

“Wendy’s.”

He pulled into the parking lot and through the drive-thru, grabbing them both a sandwich, some fries, and drinks. Kate hadn’t realized how hungry she was until the smell of the salty, greasy fries filled the truck. She grabbed the bag from him as he parked so they could eat without dripping anything.

“So do you have a plan?” she finally asked, surfacing from the food.

“Get you as far away from your alpha as possible,” Ryan answered, polishing off the end of his chicken sandwich. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and stuffed all the trash back into the paper bag.

Kate finished her food and handed him an empty wrapper to add to the bag. “You know that’s only a temporary fix, right? I have to pledge to a new alpha and break the bond or he’ll just keep coming for me. No matter where we go. Aren’t you taking me home, to Durant?”

Ryan pulled out of the Wendy’s parking lot and turned back onto the red-bricked Main Street. “I am.” He was headed back the way they’d come. Back into the older downtown shops.

That was it. No elaboration. No explanation. Kate sighed. At least it felt like progress in the right direction. He had touched her. She’d felt and seen his desire for her. He was coming around. Maybe it would take him just a little longer to actually claim her as his own.

“Why are we still puttering around in downtown Tyler?” she said, her tone a little exasperated. She was scared and horny and worried all at the same time. Every muscle in her body was either waiting for the pain from her alpha bond to return or waiting for Ryan to jump her bones. It was a strange mixture of arousal and fear.

“You can’t go anywhere public without those shorts falling off you. I’m getting you some clothes.”

“From where, Lucky John’s Sports Bar?” She stared out the window, waiting for an explanation. But the answer appeared before her before he said anything. A little red brick boutique called Callie’s. He pulled into the empty parking space right in front. The large picture window had lace curtains and dresses hanging in the window. Cute dresses, but still…dresses. Kate couldn’t remember the last time she’d worn a dress.

“My cousins like this place,” he said softly. “They come here every spring.”

She nodded. It was strange to think how little she knew about his everyday life. About his family. His cousins came to Tyler. Which cousins? Why? She wanted to know everything. But he didn’t seem keen on the telling.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, slipping out of the truck before she could say a single word. She watched him enter the building and then she could see him through the big window. A small woman with short black hair walked up to greet him. They spoke for a minute before the woman disappeared deeper into the store. Ryan stayed near the window, looking so very out of place.

He was in a women’s clothing store, picking out something he thought she should wear. It was…kinda adorable. And totally confusing. At moments like this, she was convinced he had gone over the edge of this mate bond thing with her.

And then…he’d shut right back down.

She just wanted him to keep going over the edge, like she was.

A few minutes later, he emerged from the store with a large paper sack. He put the sack in the back seat and then climbed back into the truck with Kate. “I know a private place to park. You can change there.”

Kate nodded and glanced over her shoulder at the bag. She kinda liked being stuck in his gym clothes. Having Ryan’s clothes on her skin was the next best thing to having him. But he didn’t seem up for argument.

Downtown faded to trees again. He pulled down a patchy gravel driveway covered with grass.

“Where are we?” she asked.

“A bulldogger I know lives down here. This is the south entrance to his pastureland. Nobody will bother us. You can get dressed in the back if you want.”

“None of that is going to fit me. You didn’t even ask what size I was,” Kate said, a frown pulling on the corners of her mouth.

“You’re the same size as my cousin Margo. I told the lady. She picked out everything.”

“Boobs too?” Kate asked, turning to face Ryan. His cheeks reddened and his eyes glazed over with lust.

“What about your b-boobs?” he finally coughed out.

“Are they the same as Margo’s too? Did you buy a bra for me?” She couldn’t help but smile just a little. His eyes had gravitated down to her boobs.

“Yes, they should fit. And yes, there’s a bra.”

He parked the truck behind a grove of pines. It was a secluded spot, hidden from both the road and the meadow on the other side. Another happy thought slid through Kate’s mind. Maybe he had more on his mind than just her getting changed. She climbed into the back, over the console, making sure her ass got really close to Ryan’s face in the process.

No touching occurred, but she was selfishly pleased with the small groan he tried to keep under wraps. She had no intention of forcing him to mate with her, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t make herself readily available.

She yanked off his T-shirt, baring her breasts completely. His heated gaze melted her into a puddle, and her body throbbed with need. She would’ve given anything at that moment just to feel his hands on her again. Anywhere. He could pet her damn hair again if that’s all he could manage. She just needed him to touch her. Her nipples pebbled and her core slicked with arousal.

Acting on impulse, Kate cupped one of her bare breasts and squeezed the hard nipple. Pleasure zipped to her clit and she couldn’t hold back a moan of desire. She was in a damn secluded make out spot with her mate and he wouldn’t touch her. If he wouldn’t give her what she needed, then she’d just have to make do on her own. He could watch.

“Kate,” Ryan growled, but it only fueled her.

She slid her other hand beneath the waistband of the basketball shorts and slipped a finger between her wet folds, quickly finding her needy clit. Gods, she was going to come in a few seconds.

And it still wouldn’t be enough to relax her.

She leaned her head back against the side window, closed her eyes, and ignored the imaginary steam coming out of Ryan’s ears.

“Kate,” he said again, his voice dark and hungry.

Just the timbre of his voice almost made her come right then and there. She rubbed a little quicker and moaned as the orgasm coiled inside her. It would be a small one, but it was better than nothing. Which was what Ryan was giving her.

The truck shifted. Doors opened and closed. When Kate finally raised an eyelid to see what he was doing, she gasped. Ryan was standing in the open door opposite her, staring like he was trying to decide whether to yell at her again or climb into the back seat.

No yelling, but his eyes darkened and his hands snaked out, latching on to her ankles. He dragged her to edge of the seat toward him. He pulled the basketball shorts off her in one fluid movement and lifted her calves over his shoulders. His mouth was so close to her core she could feel his breath on her wet flesh.

He was going to make her his. Finally.

“Give me your fingers,” he said.

Kate complied with the request before fully realizing what he was asking. As soon as she slid her fingers from her body, he leaned forward and sucked them into his mouth, moaning around them until she was afraid she would come just from the noise he was making. They slid from his mouth a few seconds later with a loud pop. A shudder slithered down her spine, turning every nerve to high alert. Please. She wanted his mouth. Wanted to feel him. Wanted to belong to him. In every way.

“You taste like heaven.” His voice rumbled in his chest, and then his mouth was on the inside of her thigh, kissing and inching closer and closer to her core. He was moving so slowly.

“Ryan,” she whimpered. “Please.” She lifted her head from the seat and looked down her body, meeting his gaze straight on.

“Play with your nipples, Kate. I want to watch you.”

She did as he asked, twisting and plucking and pinching until she was wriggling even more. “Ryan,” she gasped out, shaking with her desire to come.

Then he licked and kissed her core, and by the gods, he speared her with his tongue and then with his fingers as his mouth glided northward to her clit. She groaned and writhed and tried to lift her hips, but they were solidly locked into place by his large arms. He clamped down on her clit with his mouth and bit just hard enough to send her over the edge. Stars burst behind her closed eyes. She screamed as she came, her body clutching tightly at the fingers stroking her from the inside.

She released her nipples and reached for him, digging her fingers into his hair. He kept licking and sucking and hell, she was coming again. The wave crashed over her so quickly. The pleasure. The contentment of knowing that he wanted her. That he was going to claim her as his mate. Her mouth opened to scream again, but air seemed to be in short supply. She tried to grab a fistful of his hair, but he grabbed her hands with his and locked her wrists in a tight hold.

“Please,” she whispered, widening her legs, inviting him to climb up into the truck with her and really stake his claim. She wanted his cock. She couldn’t see it, but she could imagine it was hard and heavy and straining against his jeans. “Ryan.”

In the space of a moment she was alone, her legs hanging from the seat, warmed by the shining sun. The door still hung open, but Ryan was gone. She sat up and scanned the area around the truck. He was standing near the hood, kicking the tire.

Pain lanced through her heart. What had happened? What had she done wrong? She scrambled through the bag of clothes. Pulled out a bra that was surprisingly the right size. She yanked on panties that fit and a really cute yellow sundress that did as well—boobs and all. But none of that mattered. She wiped tears from her cheeks and slid down out of the truck to go to him. There had to be something she could do. Something to fix whatever stood between them.

“Ryan?” she spoke tentatively and took a step closer, her legs were still wobbly from the multiple orgasms. All her senses were still heightened. But her body had gone from singing to weeping. “Did I do something? Is something wrong with me?”

“Fuck, no. Kate. There’s nothing wrong with you. I just…I can’t be with you. Not yet. I owe my pack so much. My whole family is depending on me.” He glanced at her for a moment, his blue eyes dulled from the red around them. She wasn’t the only one fighting tears.

“What could possibly be so important that you’d throw away a once-in-a-lifetime chance at happiness? I know we don’t know each other that well yet, but we’re Fated to be together, and we both know it.”

“Kate…” he groaned, like he couldn’t bear listening to the words.

But she wasn’t stopping. He needed to hear this. “That means we are a perfect match. Happiness is ours for the taking and you just keep shoving it away. It’s not only your life it’s affecting, you know. I’m in this too.”

“I know. Don’t think I like this. Don’t think I like having to deny you… Us. I planned my whole life to take over as alpha. I’ve never dated. Never hung around single female wolves. Avoided relationships at every turn.”

“Guess I ruined that for you, huh?”

“Kate, you don’t get it. I know Fate chose you for me, I just—”

“You don’t want me. You’re determined to follow the stupid rules. Be your precious pack’s martyr.” She held back more words, feeling the emotions threaten to spill over into a place she didn’t want them to go. He was being noble, she got that, but he was also hurting her. The amazing feel of his desire, the heat of his body, his tongue—it was probably the only bit of Ryan she’d ever get, and now she would feel the lack of her mate. Forever. Unless he chose her.

He shook his head, his features slack and defeated. “You don’t get it. My dad killed two Trewitt pack wolves. His own cousins. Another cousin killed him two days later and it splintered our pack. The only way for me to fix this is to do what they’ve asked me to do. This isn’t just some arbitrary rule, Kate. I’m trying to heal my pack. Restore my family.”

She pressed her lips tight. El Paso was bad in its own way, but none of the wolves had ever killed each other. She couldn’t imagine living with the constant fear that someone was plotting revenge on her and everyone she loved.

“I worked so hard to erase what my father did, splitting the families apart again. There are some little groups of wolves in the corners of Oklahoma that won’t survive without the support of the pack, but they’re too stubborn to just pledge to us. And if I don’t do this—be the impartial alpha—they might not survive, Kate.”

She couldn’t speak. She felt the weight of his words, and she felt compassion for his plight. But he was going to rip her heart out. Was she going to be the sacrifice he would make for the sake of his pack?

“I need to make the ranch profitable. That’s why we need Adam’s horse. I need to make the business big enough that it’ll support everyone, unite the families again. It’s my father’s penance.”

Those words struck her hard, in the center of her heart. She wiped a tear from her cheek and stared out across the little field beside them. He was really going to do it. He was going to walk away from everything they had, everything they could have. Sacrifice her happiness, and his.

“Look. Kate.” His voice was so earnest, and so heartbroken, it ripped at her insides. She didn’t want him to be heartbroken. “I just need some time, okay? Just give me some time to make this work, and then we can be together. I want you. You have to know I want you. And if you can just give me five years—”

“Five years?” she choked out. A lump settled in her chest, pressing on her like he was on top of her, trying to push the air out of her lungs.

“I think I can turn the ranch profits around in five years. I’ll take you to my friend Falcon. He’s an alpha in Kansas, and he’ll protect you. He’ll keep your grandfather away, and then once my family is stable again, I’ll ask to retire.”

She shook her head, slowly. What could she say? It sounded like he thought he was giving her some big gift, by offering to protect her when she would sit in her heartbreak for five years while he was off playing alpha, knowing she wasn’t enough for him.

No.

On what planet could she ever expect him to choose her over ending a long-standing war between the families in his pack? Selfish much, Kate? Except she still couldn’t stand the thought of going back home. Of mating with Christian. And she couldn’t go to Kansas. Even if he promised to help with her grandfather, she didn’t know this Falcon. And she certainly didn’t know what she’d do for work. At least the Oklahoma plan had included a job, where she could sustain herself and contribute. But this…

“I didn’t think I would ever feel this way, Kate,” he continued, his voice breaking, and breaking her heart right along with it. “My destiny was to be single. To fix my pack. I wasn’t supposed to—”

“Want me?” Kate whispered under her breath.

He shook his head. “I’m so sorry. I just can’t do this right now. But if you give me five years—”

“Fine.” She took a couple steps backward, closed the back door of the truck and climbed into the front.

But it wasn’t fine. She couldn’t keep holding out for Ryan. He needed to fix his pack. She wasn’t the type of person who’d want to stand in the way of him saving lives and stopping wars. She’d rather leave. She needed to just…leave.