Chapter Nine
I passed the time by helping out in whatever way I could. There was lots of paperwork that needed to be filed and old surveillance tapes that needed to be checked. I wasn’t ready to return to the field, so I pulled my weight in other ways. It felt good to do something rather than sit around all day.
And it distracted me.
Wilder didn’t mention my father again, and neither did anyone else. People were giving me the mercy of silence, of not speaking of the one topic that knocked me off my feet. Ben took me to lunch one day and only mentioned the woman he was still seeing, and Wilder said nothing at all because he was too busy kissing me.
But I knew the break wouldn’t last forever.
I was in the surveillance room going over footage when Wilder walked inside. “Your father is asking for you.”
I was just about to pause the video and check the one second clip when I halted. I heard what he said, but since I never expected him to say those words, I froze.
“He said he wants to speak to you—and only you.”
I pulled the earphones off my head, my hand still shaky. “Did he say why…?”
“No.” He crossed his arms over his chest as he stood beside me, his eyes intense like they usually were whenever he was at work. “I didn’t ask too many questions because he never responds to me anyway.”
“But I said I wouldn’t see him again. I have to stick to my guns.”
“Not if we need his intel. We have to fold.”
I didn’t know anything about my father, not like I thought I did. But I knew he would take that as an act of weakness. “Tell him no.”
“Gray, we need him to talk.”
“We need him to understand I wasn’t playing a game. He needs to know I meant every word I said.”
He barely hid his unease. “What’s more important? Saving lives or being stubborn?”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” I hissed. “You tell him I said no. He’ll realize he has no influence over me. Then we wait until he asks to see me again. When I walk in there, he’ll appreciate my presence a lot more.”
“What if he doesn’t ask to see you again?”
“That’s a risk we’re going to have to take. I’m telling you, I can’t go back on my word so quickly. He needs to understand how disappointed I am, that I don’t see myself as his daughter anymore. When he truly understands that, maybe he’ll change his tune.”
“But can we afford to gamble right now?”
“I don’t think I’m gonna get anything done if I walk in there today. He has too much power to summon me whenever he pleases. Therefore, he’ll control the conversation.”
When Wilder didn’t argue with me, I knew he agreed with me. “So I just tell him you don’t want to see him?”
“Yeah.”
“Do I give an explanation?”
“No.” I didn’t feel any remorse for my decision. My father revealed his true colors to me, and they were shades of black.
“Alright. We do this your way.”
“Thanks.”
He stood there for a few more minutes, checking to see if I had anything else to say. When I didn’t, he finally walked away and let me return to my work.
***
Over the next three days, Wilder and I worked long hours and spent our short evenings together. We skipped romantic dinners and dates in the city. Instead, we chose to get naked and smother our scent across the sheets.
That was just fine with me. I already knew Wilder better than anyone. I didn’t need to get to know him over candlelight when all I wanted to do was run my hands down his chest and feel the hard muscles of body. I wanted to make love nonstop, feeling our mouths move together as well as the rest of our body.
It was different with him than it was with any other guy. I’d fallen hard for a few guys in my past, and they were never worth the heartache. Wilder hurt me a few times, but I always knew there was something special about him.
I didn’t know if we would last forever. I didn’t know if one of us would die the next day. Maybe marriage and kids would never happen. But that didn’t matter right now. We were together, and we would enjoy our time for as long as possible.
At the end of the week, my wound was a lot better. I took off the gauze and let the scar touch the fabric of my jacket. It wasn’t a pretty sight, nothing like the flawless skin I used to possess, but I wasn’t ashamed of it either.
Wilder walked up to my desk in the bunker where I was doing research on a new person of interest. “He’s asking for you again.”
After a week went by without a peep from him, I assumed my father made his peace with my dismissal. I made a mistake by not visiting with him when I had a chance. But it seemed like I made the right decision, after all. “What did he say?”
“He wants to speak to you. I couldn’t get anything else out of him.”
I ran my fingers through my hair, thinking about the weight of the situation. This was the second time he asked to speak to me, so he must have something important to say.
“What do we do?” Wilder always made the decisions, but now he was yielding the floor to me. “I don’t think we should reject him a second time. You’ve stuck to your guns long enough.”
“Yeah, I think you’re right.”
“Are you gonna go now?”
This was psychological warfare and I had to play my cards right. “No. I’ll be in there in a few hours. Don’t speak to him.”
“You’re gonna keep him waiting?”
“Yeah.”
Wilder eventually nodded. “Alright. Smart move. It’ll make him think you took some convincing. Or you were just busy doing something more important than thinking about him.”
“Exactly.” I turned back to my computer and got to work.
Wilder took a seat beside me, looking fit in his t-shirt.
“Anything else?” I asked.
“How are you gonna play this?”
“I don’t know,” I answered. “I can’t prepare unless I know what he wants. So I’ll play it by ear.”
“Alright. I’ll be on the line with you.”
***
I paused outside the door to take a breath before I walked in. If my father asked for me twice, he probably had something important to say. But who knows? Maybe he was making me into a victim of manipulation. I wouldn’t know until I walked inside.
The speaker was in my ear and Wilder and the rest of his crew were sitting on the other side of the glass. The entire exchange would be watched by the brightest minds in the world. I rested my hand on the door and took another breath before I walked inside.
My father looked exactly the same as he did last time I saw him, but his beard was a little thicker. He wore the same cargo outfit with his hands handcuffed in front of him. They rested on his thighs underneath the table where I couldn’t see them.
I held my head high and lowered myself into the chair across from him. I didn’t bring any notes or any emotion. I crossed my legs and stared at him just as coldly as he stared at me the first time I walked in there.
Today, he wasn’t nearly as hostile. He stared at me just the way he used to when I came home from school. There was sincerity in his eyes, a slight hint of vulnerability. He didn’t look a criminal at all, despite his attire and handcuffs.
“I have a lot of things to do today.” That was all I was going to say. I wasn’t going to admit I walked in there because he asked to see me. I was going to say as little as possible.
“I’m sure you do,” he said quietly. He stared down at his handcuffs before he looked at me again. “Thanks for seeing me.”
I didn’t respond to his civility. He didn’t give me any respect last time I was there, and I was going to do the same to him. “If you want to show your gratitude, then don’t waste my time.” If I was too stern, he may not open up to me. But I couldn’t be a pushover either.
He looked at his handcuffs again, this time a little longer. After he collected his thoughts he looked at me again. “I never wanted you to be involved in this, Unicorn.”
The second he mentioned my nickname, I wanted to cry.
“I wanted you to be ignorant of all this for the rest of your life. Somehow, you got involved…and then everything we had was gone.”
I didn’t know what point he was trying to make. “You could have chosen not to be a criminal and we wouldn’t be here at all right now.”
“Easier said than done…”
“It’s not hard not to kill people,” I snapped. “It’s not hard to be a good person.” I forced myself to lower my tone so I wouldn’t let my emotion get the best of me. “None of it is hard. But all you care about is money.”
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“Not from where I’m standing. Is this the only reason you wanted to speak to me? To justify everything you’ve done? Because I don’t care about your reasons. Like I said, all I care about is moving forward.”
He nodded slightly. “You hate me, don’t you?”
The question stung me. “I hate everything you’ve done. You aren’t my father, just a stranger.”
“So yes,” he said with a sad laugh.
I didn’t confirm or deny.
“I don’t want you to hate me, Gray. I thought I’d made my peace with the fact you do, but I guess I don’t.”
“You can’t change the way I feel.” There was no point in trying.
“I know why I’ve done all the things I’ve done. I just hope you know it’s more complicated than you realize. Terrorism is complicated.”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever you say. If you have nothing of value to give me, I should leave. I’ve got things to do.”
“I do. Just give me a second.”
Was he really going to give me anything? “Give you a second to what?”
“To ask you a few things.”
“You don’t get to ask me anything,” I hissed.
“If I tell you everything I know and work with you to diffuse current plans, will you let me be your father again? A real father this time. No secrets, no lies. Just the two of us.”
I didn’t blink because I was so surprised by what he said. The last time he spoke he acted like I didn’t mean anything to him. Now he was laying down all his armor and surrendering to me. He was offering everything in exchange just to have me back in his life. I couldn’t believe it.
“Gray?”
I wanted to answer yes right away. I was getting exactly what I wanted—my father and his contacts.
But Wilder’s voice came into my ear. “No. Don’t take the deal.”
***
The second I was out of the room I confronted Wilder. “What do you mean don’t take the deal?”
“I meant it exactly as I said it.” He walked into the conference room as I followed behind him. “I think it’s a ploy, a trick.”
“How?”
“He gives us fake intel and sets us up.”
“Why would he do that? He’s not getting anything out of me. It’s not like he’s asking for freedom.”
“But he’s trying to get you to trust him.”
“Well, it’s gonna take a lot more than that for me to trust him. He knows I’m not an idiot.” I sat in one of the leather chairs and crossed my arms over my chest. My heart was still racing a million miles an hour.
“I still think it’s a trick. He’s using his one play—that’s you.”
“I’m not a play.”
“It’s all he’s got right now.”
Maybe my father wasn’t a good person, but he wouldn’t stoop so low. “I don’t think that’s what he’s trying to do.”
“So you think he’s being genuine?” he asked incredulously. “That he’s willing to sacrifice everything he’s worked for just for you?”
“I am his daughter.”
Wilder shook his head before he paced around the room. “He didn’t give a damn about that the first time you spoke. I’m sure you haven’t forgotten that.”
“Maybe our conversation changed his mind.”
He gave me a disappointed look. “Come on, Gray. You’re better than this. Think with your brain, not your heart.”
“I am,” I snapped. “I still think he’s being genuine. Maybe losing the one person he has left has made him rethink everything.”
“Men like that don’t have regrets. And you’re forgetting he killed your mother.”
Like I’d ever forgotten. Not a day went by when I didn’t think about that. “Allegedly.”
“Allegedly?” he asked incredulously. “I gave you my intel. It’s not wrong.”
“Maybe there’s more to the story.”
It looked like he wanted to punch his fist through the wall. “Come on, Gray. Don’t do this. Don’t be stupid.”
“Stupid?” I rose out of my hair, officially pissed. “I’m not being stupid. This isn’t wishful thinking on my part. I looked him in the eye and I think he’s being sincere. That’s my judgement speaking.”
“You risked your life to save his only just a few months ago. No, you aren’t being logical right now.”
“And he surrendered himself to save me,” I reminded him. “He didn’t have to do that.”
“He said he owed you. That was all.”
“I don’t believe that for a second and neither do you.”
Wilder kept pacing around the room, his neck tight and covered with corded veins.
“I think we should give this a try.”
“I’m not letting my men die because you trust that psychopath. I never put my people into harm’s way.”
“We don’t have to make any moves. We can just see if his intel checks out.”
Wilder took a seat in the chair on the other side of the room. He didn’t want to be anywhere near me, clearly. “I have a bad feeling about this.”
“I don’t.” Perhaps it was stupid for me to believe in the bond of family. But I remembered growing up with that man. He loved me—he had to.
“Even if he cooperates with us and gives us everything we need, we can’t just let him go. He needs to do time. He needs to be turned over to the justice system. We can’t just pardon him, Gray.”
That was something I hadn’t considered.
“Even if he does help us and gives us quality information, we’re still turning him over. And there’s no way he’s going to get on board with that.”
Probably not.
“And I’m not going to pardon him, Gray. No way, no how.”
I didn’t argue with him. I completely understood his feelings about the whole thing. This was his passion in life, his devotion. “So, can I accept the deal under the circumstance we still turn him over to the American police?”
Wilder pondered the question until he found his answer. “Yes.”