It might take me a couple of weeks to get back home, but taking a train out of Montovia is a hell of a lot less terrifying than taking another airplane. Particularly since in my haste to get out of the palace, I left my bottle of sleeping pills on my nightstand.

I’m pretty sure I’m headed in the wrong direction, too. But this was the first train leaving and I don’t want to wait around too long. Better for me to get on a train to Prague—ten hours in the wrong direction—than it would be to hang around Montovia even a second longer.

I had hoped for a private compartment, but the lady at the ticket counter said they were sold out. It seems odd, but what the hell do I know? It could be perfectly normal having the private compartments fill up first.

I find a seat to myself. I already wish I had thought to pick up something to read at one of the newsstands outside, but at least I’ll be able to see the scenery.

This will be a great adventure. I haven’t ever really wanted to do the whole losing-myself-in-Europe thing, but a girl has to try to make lemonade out of lemons when she can. I’m here now. I’m never getting on an airplane again. And the least I can do is try to enjoy my trip over the next several days. I’ll get myself on one of those transatlantic cruises as soon as I can. And by then, I’ll be ready to never set foot in Europe again.

To never see Prince Andrew again, anyway.

An elderly couple sits down across from me, and I give them a polite smile and nod before I turn my attention to the window.

Why hasn’t the damn train left already?

We should have left five minutes ago by my watch. And though I’ve never been on one of these trains before, I’ve heard they’re known for their timeliness.

My stomach twists around on itself, but I try to shake off the thought that the reason the train is sitting here motionless has anything to do with me.

The train car goes silent before there are whispers—then murmurs—traveling like ripples over the seats.

“Your Highness, please.” A man’s voice booms through the car.

I close my eyes and try to will myself to disappear into my seat.

The man’s voice is closer. “Your Highness, you have the private compartments… Please.” He’s almost begging the person he’s speaking to. “We don’t have the staff to deal with this—had we known you would be traveling with us today, we could have made arrangements—”

“This seat will do nicely.” It almost sounds like Andrew is speaking into my ear.

“Your Highness, we can hardly have you seated among the other passengers. And…and you’ve already reserved the entire private section—”

“I’m aware of that. I’ll let you know when I need to move there. Thank you.” There is a definite dismissiveness in his tone.

“Your Highness…” It almost sounds like the other man is going to cry. “Please…”

“As I said, this seat will do nicely.” He pauses. “Where did you say this train was headed?”

The other man sighs. “Prague, Your Highness.”

Andrew groans under his breath. “Of course it is.”

“Your Highness—”

“Do I need to tell you again that this seat is fine?” Andrew’s voice is less dismissive this time—it’s almost threatening.

“Of course not, Your Highness.” He gives a forced chuckle. “I will check on you shortly.”

Andrew drops onto the seat next to me. “Do whatever you need to do.”

I can’t seem to make my eyes open, not that I really want to. My fingers dig into the seat cushion near my legs—I’m sure I’m leaving permanent marks there.

Getting on this train was a bad idea. I should have known he would follow me. I suppose I did know—but I had hoped it would be too late by the time he figured out where I had gone.

“Prince Andrew?”

My eyes flutter open when I hear the woman sitting across from me speak.

She’s grinning and clutches at the hand of the man sitting next to her. “It’s such an honor to have you sit here with us.” She glances over at the man I assume is her husband. “Henry and I were talking just this morning about how thankful we are that you made it back to Montovia in one piece.” Her smile falls. “After your accident.”

“Yes, I was very lucky to survive. Though I could not have done it alone.”

I turn my gaze back to the window, digging my fingers even farther into the seat cushion.

“We’ve all been very…concerned about you, Your Highness,” the woman continues.

“As you can see, I’m quite well.” There’s something off in his voice, though I can’t quite place what it is.

“Yes.” The woman’s voice is almost mirroring Andrew’s, but I don’t risk a glance over to look at any of them.

The woman clears her throat. “Is Lady Clarissa going to be joining you this morning? We saw in the news that you were together now.”

I close my eyes for another moment at the sound of her name, just as the train begins to move.

“No, unfortunately, my brief courtship with Lady Clarissa has ended.”

I open my eyes to stare back out the window. I want to tell him how I’ve heard that particular tale before, but I don’t.

The woman clucks her tongue. “If you don’t mind my being so bold as to say so—”

“Dear, he does mind.” The other man’s voice interrupts. “Prince Andrew doesn’t care to hear our opinions on his love life.”

“On the contrary,” Andrew says. “It would be an honor to hear from the citizens of Montovia. I had hoped that by bringing Lady Clarissa here—”

“That woman’s family…” The woman’s voice trails off. “I shouldn’t say. It would be rude.”

Andrew chuckles. “I can imagine. And you’ve no need to worry—after certain events this morning, I can assure the world there will be no further courtship with the Lady Clarissa.” His hand brushes against mine. “I’ll be certain to have the writer I’ve hired to report the story convey exactly what transpired when I told Lady Clarissa the news.”

I roll my eyes, but don’t turn to look at any of them.

Andrew’s hand doesn’t move—it’s close enough to mine that I know it’s there, but not exactly touching it.

The man across from us speaks. “We only wish for your happiness, Your Highness. That is all anyone in the kingdom wishes for.”

“And I believe I have found exactly what will make me happy. And I am grateful for your concern. Truly grateful.” His hand brushes against mine again ever so slightly.

“Forgive us, Your Highness, but my husband and I have a tradition of going to the dining car as soon as the train has departed. Would you care to join us?”

“Oh, I thank you for the invitation. Truly. But I have some important business to attend to at the moment—”

The man interrupts. “Forgive my wife for carrying on so, Your Highness. Of course you have business—”

“No, no, no. It’s not like that at all. I only…” He clears his throat. “You’ve both actually helped me with the business it is I need to take care of. So I thank you.”

The couple stands and walks into the aisle before the woman speaks again. “If you should change your mind, Your Highness, please do come to join us in the dining car. It would be such a tremendous honor.”

“If my business goes as I expect it might, I may have to join you there.”

The woman chuckles as she walks away.

We sit in silence, and I watch the scenery of Montovia fly by as the train picks up speed to begin our ascent up the mountain pass.

“Are you ever going to look at me again, Victoria?” Andrew’s voice is low, and the regal, confident air he had with the couple is gone.

Something about the tone of his voice now makes my chest ache. It’s like it was last night when he had come to my room—pained, almost broken.

His voice is hushed so the other passengers do not overhear him, though there isn’t anyone sitting all that close to us since the couple left. “I…I made it quite clear to Lady Clarissa that there would be nothing further between us.”

Something catches in my chest. I still can’t look at him—still can’t face him. Instead, I nod at the window.

“Victoria…” He’s almost whispering now. “I booked every private compartment. We can have our pick of the entire car. We should go there to speak.”

I press my lips together and shake my head. My chest aches even hearing his voice.

I have to end this. I have to end this now.

It isn’t fair to either of us to allow any hope this relationship of ours can continue. I’m not sure how this even happened—how having a fling with him somehow turned into a near-marriage proposal and expectations of providing him with an heir or five.

“Victoria, please…” The brokenness in his voice I heard last night is definitely there in his plea.

And then I remember what Sophia said earlier—how he had nearly thrown himself from the roof last night.

I can’t let myself be guilted into turning around and going back to the palace. But he does at least deserve an explanation.

I shift in my seat, not really turning to him, but facing forward. I fold my hands in my lap—I can’t risk letting him touch me. Allowing him to make me change my mind.

And I have to tell him the truth.

I stare at my hands for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to explain. I finally look up, staring at the empty seat across from me where the elderly man had been sitting until a few minutes ago.

I let out a long breath. “I have to tell you something, Andrew.”

“Look at me, Victoria.”

A thrill of electricity runs through my body at his words. The same words he’s said to me almost every time we’ve slept together—and he has to know it.

But I don’t look over at him. I hold my gaze on the headrest of the chair in front of me. “I need you to let me tell you—”

He reaches over and places his fingers on my jaw, turning my head to face him. “Look at me. Please.”

I don’t pull away, but I don’t look up into his eyes. I stare at his chest instead. “Andrew, you need to let me tell you this. I promise, once you hear what I have to say, you’ll want me to go.”

He’s silent for a moment. “I don’t believe that for one second, Victoria. There is nothing you could have possibly done in your past that would change the way I feel about you.”

My eyebrows draw together and I frown. “It’s not anything I’ve done, though. There’s something about me you need to know. Before you go and ruin your chances with Lady Clarissa—”

“The woman almost broke a vase over my head this morning.” His fingers trace along my jaw back to my ear before he rests his hand on the back of my neck. “She ruined her own chances.”

“Then your chance with the others. I mean it, Andrew.” I finally lift my gaze to meet his. “I should have told you before.”

He shakes his head, a small smile forming at the corners of his lips. “There is nothing…nothing you can say to me that will make me change my mind about how I feel about you, Victoria.” He shakes his head again. “Can’t you see? I’m in love with you. I love you more than I can even say.”

Tears sting at my eyes and my heart twists in my chest. “Andrew, I—”

“I realize we haven’t been together long. But I’ve known it for what feels like forever. I didn’t want to listen to my heart. I…can’t you see? You’ve changed that about me. I’ve never listened to my heart. I’ve never done what would make me happy. And you…you, Victoria. You are what makes me happy.”

My shoulders drop and I struggle to hold back my tears. “Andrew, I feel the same way about you. I do…I think I really do. But—”

He smiles. “Then there is no but. We’ll face the consequences together. We’ll…we’ll face my father together. And he’ll have to see reason, Victoria. And…” He motions behind him with a wave of his hand. “And you saw how those citizens reacted when I told them I had made my choice. Once they see us together, once they can see how we feel about each other…it won’t matter. And once we have a child—”

“I can’t. Andrew…” My voice hitches in my chest. “I…can’t.”

The line between his eyebrows deepens. “You keep saying that. But you can, Victoria. If I can do this, surely—”

“No…God…Andrew…” My chest is heaving. “Will you listen to me? Please? For one minute, please? Just listen.”

He pulls his hand away from my neck and grips his thigh. He frowns as he nods and his gaze drops to his lap.

I try to gulp down the despair I can already sense will be in my voice. “Andrew, seven years ago I was with another man.”

His jaw clenches and he lifts his gaze to mine. “Victoria, I do not need to hear about this. I don’t care if you—”

“Let me finish. Please.”

His frown deepens and he nods again.

“Okay.” I blow out a long breath. “It was right after the Olympic trials. I found out I was pregnant.”

His voice lowers to almost a whisper again. “You have a child?”

I shake my head. “No.” I shake my head again, trying to push away the tears that are threatening to fall again. “No…I…the man I was with proposed. We were…we were going to get married. And then…I…”

My heart feels like it might have stopped—I can’t get the rest out. I haven’t talked about this with anyone since it happened. It’s been one more thing I haven’t wanted to deal with—another thing I’ve buried deep inside, never to be thought about again.

And I’ve told myself for the past seven years that it was fine. That I didn’t need a child to make me happy. Or that if the man I eventually married ever did want a baby, we could adopt. I somehow know that neither of those are acceptable options for Andrew.

I let out another breath. I stare down at my hands and almost will my breathing to stabilize enough to let me get out the part I need say. “I was pregnant with twins. I had a double ectopic pregnancy. I lost them both. I lost everything.” I look up at him. “I can’t have children, Andrew. I can’t get pregnant. I can’t give you an heir.”