Back inside, the party is in full swing, the music louder than it was an hour ago. Allison and Megan are mixing some kind of frozen drink, the blender on high. People are spread throughout the main floor, plates of food in one hand, drinks in the other.

Ryder grabs two empty plates, handing me one as we make our way around his kitchen table, loading them up. Looking at the spread before me, I want to praise Angela. She did an amazing job with the food. It all looks incredibly gross, in a good way. The only thing I opt to stay away from are the three eyeballs Ryder put on my plate. They’re staring at me. I have no idea what she made them out of, but they’re too realistic looking for me.

Taking a seat in the living room, Ryder and Devon catch up while I pick at my food. It’s been hours since I’ve eaten, but I’m not hungry. My nerves are still on end and Ryder’s “dirty little secret” as he called it, is on my mind. When Devon excuses himself to get another drink, I go in for the kill.

“If you don’t tell me, the answer is going to be no for sure.” Pointing my fork at him as I threaten him, a small smile spreads across his face, so I stab him in the elbow, the plastic forks tongs breaking in the process.

“That’s not fair,” he states, popping a piece of eyeball in his mouth. Mushrooms. I’m glad I stayed away from them. I’m not a huge fan of the fungus.

“Not my problem,” I tease, picking up a meatball with my fingers and taking a bite. Ryder’s eyes never leave my hand as I finish it and lick my fingers clean.

“Tease,” he starts as Devon returns. “Devon, Emerson wants me to tell her all my dirty little secrets. Care to share?”

Devon hands me a fork when he notices me picking at my food with my fingers. Before I can grab it, Ryder slaps it out of his hand, smirking at me.

“Are you sure that’s a good thing? She might run and hide. You may never see her again, and I like this one.”

They’re in on this together. Devon obviously knows the secret. Assholes.

“Go for it. If she can’t handle your stories, she can’t handle being with me. You know me better than anyone.”

Permission granted, Devon starts telling me all about Ryder in college. His ex-girlfriends. Stupid shit he used to do. Beer-pong tournaments. Football games. Trips to the casino where he would lose all his money. He told me about all the times he got in trouble and all the things he got away with.

I listen, laughing along with the guys, but in the back of my mind is the last thing Ryder said.

You know me better than anyone.

Shouldn’t that title be reserved for his ex-wife? Shouldn’t she know him better than his friends? Maybe that’s part of why they grew apart. Ian should have known me better than anyone, but at the end of the day, it was Angela who did. She saw how he was trying to change me.

Devon is Ryder’s Angela.

He’s known Ryder longer. He’s been through more with him. It’s the same with me and Angela. She knew me long before I met Ian. Before we started dating. She knew the person I was back then, and she saw the person I was becoming. Not because of Ian, but because of our relationship.

Sometimes change is good. People are meant to grow and change over time. Relationships help them develop a part of themselves that they can’t do alone. You can find yourself in someone else, or you can discover what you want in life. The change can be good as long as both parties want the same things.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case with my relationship with Ian or Ryder’s relationship with Megan.

“So, after hearing all that, you’re still sitting here,” Devon points out once he’s done.

“It’s going to take more than a few stories to scare me away. Plus, the person I know isn’t the frat boy you went to college with. I’d like to think he’s matured a bit since then.”

“Well, thank you,” Ryder chimes in, sitting up straight and pretending to straighten an imaginary tie.

“If you only knew,” Devon replies, shaking his head.

“I doubt that was the dirty little secret you didn’t want to tell me, but it’ll suffice for now.”

“If you really must know,” Ryder says, leaning close so that only I can hear what he’s about to say. I suck in a breath and anxiously await his response. “I was going to ask if you wanted to stay with me tonight. You. Me. Alone. I’ve been thinking about it all day, and I like where my imagination has taken the idea. Only if you want to, though.”

For a moment, I actually think about running, but my body doesn’t move. Ryder’s so close to me that I can smell the linger of his aftershave and feel the heat from his breath on my cheek. I don’t want to move. My body doesn’t want to move. It likes where we’re at right now. The thought of staying the night with Ryder shouldn’t freak me out, but on the inside, that’s exactly what’s happening.

Enter Angela to save the day.

Pulling me away from the boys, she announces that we need margaritas. Looking back over my shoulder, I see Ryder watching me, a smirk on his face. He knows the effect he has on me. He must know that I’m contemplating his offer. Both of those things seem to make him happy.

As the drinks begin to flow, the music is turned up another notch and the party kicks into high gear. Angela drags me into the living room and forces me to dance with her, my first clue she’s had more than enough to drink. Angela doesn’t dance. Not in front of other people anyway. And not provocatively like she is right now, grinding against Tyler.

He’s holding her hips, helping her find a rhythm. It’s not working, but his presence is enough of a distraction for me to sneak away. Knowing she’s in good hands, I head out back to get fresh air, hoping it will help me clear my mind enough to make a decision about Ryder’s proposition.

Because, let’s be honest, that’s what it was.

A proposition.

Stay with me.

I can read between the lines. He wants me alone, in his room, behind closed doors. Naked.

The thought intrigues me. Ryder naked. All clean lines and toned muscle. My fingers tracing his tattoo.

“What are you doing out here?” Ryder's voice startles me, causing me to jump, my drink falling from my hands and onto the concrete.

“You know, it’s cold out here, right?”

“It’s not too bad,” I reply, reaching down to pick up my cup.

Smiling up at Ryder, he shakes his head and extends his hand to help me up.

“Not warm enough to make you look that flush.”

My thoughts must be written all over my face. The fact that I was thinking about him shirtless is enough to bring out my blush to begin with. I can only imagine how pink my cheeks are right now since I was thinking about him naked.

I’m in so much trouble.

Wrapping his arm around my waist, he leads me back inside.

As the guests begin to leave, Ryder and I join Tyler and Angela on the dance floor. My body is exhausted, but Angela is relentless. There are only a handful of people still here, but thankfully, Ryder and I are mostly hidden as he grips my hips and grinds into me. Running his hands over the fringe and beading of my dress, Ryder purrs in my ear.

“I take it you like my costume?” I ask. He hasn’t said it out loud, but I’ve seen him admiring it all night.

“Oh, yeah,” he replies, pulling the strap aside and kissing me softly on my collarbone.

“I don’t feel like a midget next to you in these heels.”

Spinning me to face him, Ryder smiles before saying “Perfect height for kissing you.”

His lips graze mine, but he pulls away before actually kissing me.

“Tease.”

“Maybe a little.”

“A little? You’ve been teasing me all night,” I state firmly as I stop swaying.

“I think you have that backward,” he replies, moving my hips back and forth with his hands. “You, that dress, the heels, and those damn stockings have been teasing me.”

Smiling, I pull his mouth to mine and devour his lips, attempting to hide my smile. I know where I want to be tonight, and every night after. Here, in his arms. In his bed. Anywhere he might be. He makes me feel amazing, and that’s not something you can put a value on.

“Get a room, you two,” Angela hollers followed by the sound of cheering. When I turn to flip her off, I’m met with a set of glaring eyes.

Megan.

Of course she’s still here.

Why would she leave? That would make life so much nicer for everyone, including Ryder whose house she’s invaded. Can I compare her to a virus? You can’t take antibiotics to get rid of a virus. You have to wait for it to run its course. I have a feeling she’s not going anywhere until someone takes her away. A man. One that she deems worthy.

Hopefully there’s a man strong enough out there to wrangle that one.

“Maybe we will,” Ryder yells from behind me, my cheeks turning pink instantly at his announcement.

My face continues to heat from embarrassment when he pulls me from the room and down the hall. His bedroom door comes into sight and I feel my body go stiff, pulling us to a stop.

Right now?

I’m not sure I’m ready to go in there yet. I know what happens once we shut the door behind us. As much as I want that to happen, as excited as my body is right now, I’m scared to death suddenly.

“I should probably help Angela clean up. You go ahead,” I stutter.

“Emerson, nothing has to happen. I just want you to stay with me tonight.”

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”

“Why not?”

Why not? That’s a good question. I have no real reason I can give him other than the fact that I’m nervous. I’m scared. I want him, more than I’ve ever wanted a man.

The idea excites me but terrifies me at the same time. I haven’t slept with or next to a man other than Ian in almost three years.

Does he snore?

Will he expect me to cuddle?

What about in the morning? Is it still the walk of shame if you don’t have sex?

What if he wants to have sex after all?

“Emerson,” he says, stepping in front of me and tilting my chin up so he can look into my eyes. “No expectations. If this makes you uncomfortable, I can get you a cab home. I’d rather you stay here so I know you’re safe, but it’s your decision. If you want to stay here but not in my bed, I can find Devon and kick him out of the spare bedroom.”

“No, don’t do that. I’ll be fine.”

Staring into Ryder’s eyes, I see the sincerity in his words. I felt it when he spoke them. I don’t doubt the truth behind them, and as much as I’m nervous about what happens next, I know that he’ll make sure I’m comfortable with whatever I choose to do.

“Will you stay with me, Emerson?” he asks, his eyes searching mine for the answer.

* * *

Closing the door behind me, I make my way into the living room. The dance party is over. Angela and Tyler are cuddled up on the couch and a few people are lingering in the kitchen.

“Did you have fun, Tyler?” I ask as I take a seat across from them.

“I did. Thank you for helping.”

“Of course. Are you guys staying here tonight?” I ask, directing my question to Angela who looks as if she’s about to fall asleep in Tyler’s arms.

“Yeah. We’re taking the guest room above the garage,” she mumbles, her words barely audible. Wait, there’s a room above the garage? “I can help you clean in the morning if you wake me up.”

Rolling my eyes, I look at my best friend and wonder how she knew I would still be here. Is it that obvious? Sure, we’ve been by each other’s side most of the night. There have been a few shared kisses and plenty of stolen glances. Is it the way I look at him? Can people tell how much I like him? If so, I’m in trouble because I feel like I’ve been looking at him the same way since we first met.

Well, maybe that’s not entirely true. But I’ve definitely been looking at him like this for a few weeks. Ever since that night in his office when he sat on his floor, shirtless, trying to decide the fate of his divorce. I think that’s when I began to fall for him.

He was real that night. His emotions weren’t guarded. He was open and honest. His number one priority is his daughter and he let that be known. After seeing the pictures in his office and Amara’s bedroom, I wouldn’t question it one bit, either. He loves that little girl and it doesn’t matter that he and Megan are no longer together. He’ll always love her and make sure she knows she’s loved.

“See you in the morning,” I say, watching as my best friend’s smile grows. “Watch out, Tyler. She likes to kick when she’s drunk.”

“I could have used that warning months ago,” he replies, laughing as Angela punches him gently in the arm.

As I approach Ryder’s door, I contemplate knocking. He’s expecting me, but it’s not my room and I have no idea if he’s decent.

Softly tapping the door as I open it, Ryder calls out for me to come in. The lights are off, the room softly lit by the glow of candlelight. He’s sitting in the middle of his bed, under the sheets. His chest is bare, and my thoughts immediately turn naughty. Is he naked under the sheet? Does he sleep naked? Does he expect me to sleep naked?

Shaking my head, I close the door and lock it, hoping my fears and insecurities are also locked out for the night.

Grabbing my bag, I excuse myself to the bathroom to change. Rummaging through my things, I find my toothbrush and freshen up. When it comes to clothes, my options are limited. I didn’t bring anything to sleep in. The only clothes I have, besides the flapper dress, are the t-shirt and jeans I wore over here earlier.

Opting to sleep in only my t-shirt, I pull it down as far as it will stretch and pray he doesn’t take this as an invitation. Maybe I should preface it before I walk out?

No, Emerson. You’re a big girl. He’s already told you he only wants you to stay with him tonight. No expectations. No pressure. I could walk out there naked and he probably wouldn’t bat an eye. He has to know I wasn’t prepared for this.

One last tug on the hem of my shirt and I step back into the room.

“Hey,” I reply, my voice sounding sheepish.

“Did you want something else to sleep in?” he asks, scrambling out of bed. Thank God he has a pair of shorts on. “I have a pair of shorts around here somewhere I’m sure we can make work. Or maybe a longer t-shirt. What about—”

“Ryder,” I say, my voice causing him to stop throwing clothes from his laundry baskets. “I’m fine with it if you’re fine with it.”

“Um, yeah, I’m okay with it.”

Mr. Confident sounds hesitant.

Crawling under the covers, Ryder and I face each other at first. Staring into his eyes I can clearly see what he wants. He’s as afraid as I am to ask for it, to say it out loud. I sometimes forget that as new to me as this all is, it’s new to him too.

He was with Megan for almost ten years.

That’s ten years of his life he dedicated to someone else. Ten years he was with the same woman. In life and in bed.

“Want to cuddle?” I finally ask, scooting closer to him.

I roll over, and Ryder wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me close. Desire begins to stir deep down as the curves of his body hug mine. Solid muscles, hard as rock, envelop me. Surprisingly, it makes me want to snuggle closer to him. I want all of him surrounding me. Holding me. Comforting me.

“Sleep, beautiful girl. Tomorrow is a new day, a new adventure. We get to start it together.”