Watching her in the kitchen, I was transfixed. She moved through the space like she owned the place. The kitchen had always been her domain, her go-to—standing in front of the oven at my house with a spatula in one hand, banishing me from the room when I tried to sample the brownie batter too many times.

For a second I’d forgotten where and when I was when I saw her in the hip-hugging jean shorts, showing off so much leg and baggy off-the-shoulder shirt that was still her signature style. Walking in on that scene, my throat had tightened and the memories had been so keen, so similar to those very few mornings I’d watched the sunrise with her in my arms. She’d done the same thing on those days, making a big breakfast while I watched, sitting at the kitchen table and feeling content to observe her for hours.

My daydreaming was snapped short when I realized she was talking to someone—someone named Syd. The familiar way she spoke and the concern in her voice made me bristle. Was it her boyfriend? If it was, why was she down there with us and not wherever the hell he was?

“I can come back, Syd. If you need me, I’ll be there.” The concern in her voice had my hands curling.

She whipped around, eyes wide in surprise. Yeah, I definitely see you, Avery. Her call ended, and I waited for the ‘I love you.’ I’d have lost it if she said it, but she didn’t.

I grabbed a cup of coffee while she rambled about food in the oven. Everyone else woke up and it was the picture of coziness. Begrudgingly, I ate some of her food, and damn it was good. I barely kept myself from groaning when I shoveled a few bites of the pancakes and eggs into my mouth. She hadn’t lost her touch.

The kitchen cleared and a flash of green out on the balcony caught my eye. Without meaning to, I stared at her as she savored her coffee. Her hands were wrapped tightly around the sides of her mug and she stood so still, letting the wind whip around her.

A set of heavy hands clamped down on my shoulders. “Maybe you need to admit exactly what has you acting like this with her.” Colm nodded toward Avery, but I shook his hands off. He couldn’t even begin to understand.

“I don’t think I’m acting any way other than I should for someone who got cheated on and then shoved aside so she could be welcomed on my vacation with my friends.”

I spun on my heel and walked toward the front door.

“I think you two need to sit down and have an adult conversation. Go over everything. Air your grievances and then the tension will ease up.” Colm’s voice followed behind me and he obviously didn’t get the hint that me walking away meant I didn’t want to talk anymore.

“Air our grievances? What is this, an HR meeting?”

“You never wanted to talk to us about it. I know it gets to you.”

“Maybe because the one time I tried to, you guys told me dating someone when you went away to college was the stupidest thing imaginable.”

“We were eighteen—what the hell did we know?” He shrugged.

“Sometimes it seems like not much has changed.” Pushing out the front door, I stomped down the steps and out onto the street. Bikes zoomed past me as I bent to retie my shoes. A run was what I needed, to clear my head and get rid of some of this excess energy. I took off, leaving Colm behind, calling after me.

Half a mile in, I knew exactly what needed to happen. Sitting on a bench at the sand’s edge, I scrolled through my phone, looking for everything we’d need for a Fourth of July none of us would forget.

A few calls later, the wheels were set in motion for one epic evening we would be talking about for years to come. After cooling off, I walked back to the house, and my phone rang on the way.

“Hey, Dad. How are you?”

“Hi, Emmett. I want to know if you gave the Fourth of July any thought.”

“You mean since, like, thirty-six hours ago? I have. I can come up after that. The guys have a big party planned, so I want to be here for that. Maybe a few weeks later I can come up.” I stopped outside the open garage door and leaned against the hood of my car where it was parked in the driveway.

“It would be better if we could see you before that, but if that’s the earliest possible time, we will make it work. For your birthday maybe?” There was an odd edge to his voice, not that I’d had much experience with it other than a few stilted conversations. I’d probably spoken to my parents more that summer than I had in the past two decades combined. Were they still trying to set me and Sloane up? They didn’t know me, had no idea what kind of woman I’d be interested in. Hell, if Sloane told them I was gay, they’d probably believe it. So, why did I want to go back up there? I supposed I was a little excited about them meddling like normal parents were supposed to. Was I that stupid? That messed up that my parents badgering me was making me happy? Idiot.

“Okay, Dad. I’ll see you after the Fourth.”

“Bye, Emmett.”

“Bye.”

I ended the call and a metal-on-metal sound from the garage drew my attention.

My shadow filled the space and Avery tensed. She stood outside the driver’s side door holding on to her mirror with a tube of crazy glue in her hand. Percy looked a few dings and dents worse for wear.

“I see Percy’s still hanging in there.”

She slowly turned, like she’d put her back to the outside hoping if she couldn’t see me, I couldn’t see her. Her grimace matched the one I imagined filled my own face.

“Yes, he is.” Her lips parted and she hesitated. “Were you talking to your dad on the phone?”

“Yeah.” She knew all about our past. There were many nights she’d run her hands through my hair and stared into my eyes, telling me it was my parents’ loss that they were never around, that someday they’d realize the mistake they’d made. Although I hadn’t wanted to, I’d always hoped she was right.

“And you’re going to spend time with them after you leave here?”

I tried not to look at the curve of her hips showcased by her shorts, or the way her lips parted as she waited for my reply.

“Yes. My dad had a heart attack and my parents have been making an effort with me lately.”

The weakest of smiles lifted her lips. “That’s good. I know the distance…hurt. I think this should be good.” She gingerly removed her hand from the mirror and it stayed put, only sinking the slightest bit. “I’ll see you inside.” Wiping her hands on her jeans, she stepped around me.

“Avery,” I called after her.

She stopped and slowly turned. Her muscles were tensed, ready for an attack.

I pushed down the twist in my gut at the way she looked at me, so vulnerable and guarded at the same time.

“You can have the bed tonight. We can trade off.”

“Thanks.” With a bob of her head she disappeared around the corner. The soft thud of her footsteps sounded on the stairs and then the door closed. I leaned back against the car and raked my fingers through my hair.

What am I doing?

I pushed up and whipped around at the sharp crack of metal hitting concrete. Turning, I saw old Percy was on his last legs and missing something. Shit. I picked the mirror up off the floor and attempted to stick it back on. At least this would give me a reason to not go inside, to not think about Avery and a bed in the same thought…the way she’d burrow down deep in the blankets to get comfortable…her hands running across my chest while we were both covered in sweat, still panting from the explosive way our bodies came together…

I was an Avery junkie falling off the wagon after four years. I’d done everything I could to inoculate myself against her overwhelming presence in my mind. I’d kept my distance. Over the years, people had learned not to even mention her name around me.

Whenever I was back in town, if our paths crossed, I went in the other direction, and I made sure to never let her into my thoughts for too long. Those fleeting moments where I couldn’t bear pushing her out of my mind had gotten more and more frequent, though, stretching out into restless nights, and there I was, standing outside and heating up the spoon, ready to inject her straight into my veins.