Chapter Six
“He was my boundless dreams, my grounding thoughts, my daily themes, and my stomach’s knots.”
~Isadora Patras
Sawyer moved slowly, gracefully, like a man in complete control of himself. Shutting the door, he waited a beat before facing her. It gave her enough time to piece together what likely happened.
Lucian would have dropped off Toni before picking up Slade, which meant Sawyer knew where everyone was, but more importantly, he knew she was alone and would be until morning.
“Can I take your coat?”
His gaze held hers as he shouldered off his jacket and a slow jitter of nerves fell into her stomach then swooped into her chest, kicking her heart into overdrive. “You’re in your robe. I should have called.”
“I wasn’t sure you knew how to use a phone after three months of silence.”
He flinched. “I owe you an apology.”
Was he sorry he hadn’t called or sorry they slept together in the first place? She waited, brow raised for him to tell her which apology she’d be getting.
“I can go if you don’t want me here.”
Was that an apology? She didn’t think so. Rolling her eyes, she took his coat.
As she faced the closet his hands closed over the thin material at her shoulders and she sucked in a breath. Shutting the closet door, her body halted as her heart sped wildly out of control. A needy pulse filled her lower body where her emotions seemed to gather and throb.
“I’m sorry I waited so long.”
Her eyes closed as she accepted his simple apology, believing he tried to rationalize what they’d done and minimize it as much as possible. He obviously failed and for that she was grateful.
“Is it too late?” he asked quietly.
Too late to fix this after months of silence or too late for a visit? In her mind he’d made it just in time either way. “I want you to stay,” she whispered.
“Are you sure?” His voice was low and thick, tugging at unseen places.
She nodded, her nipples pulling tight under the satin of her nightgown.
His touch briefly firmed, massaging gently. “I’ve thought about you. About that night.”
The tension in her back eased as she stood before him, his breath teasing the fine hairs at the back of her neck. His hold remained light, almost questioning.
“I’ve thought about you, too.” More than she planned to admit.
“I told myself that was it, that I wouldn’t do that to you again.”
He said it as though he’d done something terrible. Didn’t he realize he’d saved parts of her soul, tiny neglected pieces that were dying?
“But then, when I saw you tonight, I knew I needed to have you again, bella. I can’t seem to resist you and no amount of time seems to dull my memory of our night together.”
With shaky motions, she turned and faced him, unprepared for the stark regret bracketing his eyes.
She didn’t want to be a regret. She wanted to be a comfort, a solace he reached for. Just as he satisfied her lonesome need, she wanted to satisfy his too.
The anxiety of the past three months faded, all her indignant questions no longer necessary as his words settled over her like a balm. He had only been trying to do what he believed was right.
“Sometimes,” she said slowly, leaning into his hold. “There are reasons we can’t get certain people out of our minds. Maybe you should stop trying to resist.”
Her fingers slowly lifted and hesitated, her heart lacking the brazen assuredness to freely touch him like last time. But the impulse was there, hungering to feel him against her skin.
Gently touching down, she traced the fine lines of tension by his eyes and his lashes lowered. His nostrils flared as he leaned his cheek into her palm, pressing a kiss to her wrist.
“Why is it, one touch from your fingers feels better than every touch I’ve ever known?”
She didn’t want to be compared to his past or discuss his love for his deceased wife. She wanted the night to only belong to them. “Take me to bed, Sawyer.”
His eyes searched hers, the last of his reserve fading into lust as he curled his fingers around the back of her neck and took her mouth with unapologetic need. Her body pressed into his as she met his desire with her own.
The tie of her robe loosened and the material whispered to the floor. Her bare arms wrapped tightly around his neck as she gave into her earlier urge to climb him. Her feet left the ground as he lifted her, cupping her bottom, his growing arousal pressing into her core.
“Where?” he whispered, dragging his full lips against hers.
“Upstairs. Fifth door on the left.”
He turned to the grand staircase and stilled. With a deep breath, he chuckled then carried her toward her room. At the top of the stairs, he pressed her back into the wall and caressed her some more.
“I’ve never wanted anything the way I want you,” he confessed, tipping her head back as he dragged drugging kisses down her throat. “I think it’s because I know I shouldn’t have you.”
“Or maybe I just make you happy.”
He groaned, the sound full of hunger and rumbling from deep within his chest. “That too.” As he faced the long, expanse of hallway he laughed. “Couldn’t be the second door?”
She giggled. “I like to make you work for it.”
He pinched her bottom through the satin of her gown and she squeaked. “I’m an old man, bella. You’ll kill me before we get there.”
“Stop. You’re forty-three and you’re making me feel fat.”
He kissed and bit her neck. “Now, you stop. You’re the most willowy creature I’ve ever seen.” He carried her through the empty hall, her mouth nibbling at his throat with each staggering step. “This door?”
Her body was so focused on him she had to consider where they were. “Yes.”
He pressed into the room and carried her to the unmade bed. Easing her onto the mattress, he braced his arms on either side of her and smiled. But then his expression turned serious, as if something was wrong.
Worried he might change his mind, she softly asked, “What is it?”
His head gave a slow shake as if something unimaginable had occurred to him. “What a beautiful woman you are.”
Relieved and flattered by his words, she smiled. Her fingers brushed through his dark hair, hooking in the collar of his sweater, and giving his clothing a little tug. “Take this off.”
Rising to his full height, he removed the sweater and tossed it aside. Leaning over her again, he pulled at the straps of her nightgown until her breasts were bared. Her nipples pebbled tighter as his head dipped, his mouth capturing one sensitive bud between his lips.
Her mind rallied at the return of his touch. So many fantasies coming to life as she arched into him while he suckled and groped her curves. The slick material of her nightgown skated down to her hips and he tugged it to the floor.
He licked at her flesh, spreading kisses over her abdomen and tracing circles with his tongue at her navel. She giggled at the slight tickle, her cheeks pulling into a euphoric smile.
The soft hair at his temples teased her thighs as he moved lower. There was a sense of urgency between them that heightened every sensation. The first lash of his tongue against her sex had her sighing. More of the tension from the past few months faded away, replaced with tangible satisfaction.
His large hands cupped her bottom, holding her sex to his talented mouth. She writhed beneath him, as the need to have him inside of her filled her with a burning ache.
“I need you, Sawyer.”
“Not yet,” he whispered, warm breath fanning against her flesh, driving her higher, closer to that precipice of pleasure. His fingers returned to her nipples, pulling and strumming gently over her most sensitive spots.
His experienced touch liberated her. She arched into him and moaned, as he worked a steady rhythm. She crested a wave of unequivocal sensation and shattered.
Her body shook as he kissed up her belly, whispering tender words of desire. “Bella … beautiful bella…” The heat of his skin was a welcome presence, matching the fire burning in her blood.
His gaze met hers, acknowledging her consent. “I’d never hurt you, bella. You have my word.”
Moved by his promise, she brushed her fingers through his hair and smiled. Though her worries were quite real during the time that passed, he’d put many of her concerns to rest. He was here and that’s what mattered.
“I know. I trust you, Sawyer.”
His eyes darkened as he nudged forward. The vaguely familiar intrusion was a long awaited pleasure. She feared the manifestation of him in her mind had built to an unreachable standard, but as he filled her she understood her recollection paled in comparison to the reality.
His breath teased her skin as he pulled her closer. Her legs held him buried deep inside of her. She never wanted him to leave.
Her inhibitions were shattered by a confidence no amount of expensive scotch could mimic. She greedily took what she wanted, her nails dragging over his muscled shoulders as her lips pressed to his throat and chest, nipping and kissing. She lost herself in the fact that this gorgeous man was making love to her, a fantasy come to life and one she wanted to repeat again and again.
Slowly, his gentle handling evolved into something darker, hungrier, as he moved without any regard for her delicate inexperience. He took her, as she believed a man was meant to take a woman, hungrily, passionately, and intensely carnal.
Tremors carried from her legs to the tops of her ears as he thrust hard, and together they shivered at the delicious wash of pleasure that followed. He collapsed over her, not crushing, but comforting her with his weight. They panted in the dimness, neither of them ready to let the other go.
After a long while, he rolled to his side, pulling her with him, and tucking her lovingly against his chest as he kissed her temple. She wasn’t sure how things would be after this, if he’d wait another length of time, refusing to contact her until the opportunity was thrust into his lap. Or if he’d reach out. Let her know he was thinking of her as often as she thought of him.
She was determined not to let him run away again. She wouldn’t let him hide. As she lay in his arms, she collected her words, trying to piece together the best way to tell him she wouldn’t be cast aside.
“I won’t be able to go another three months without seeing you,” he assured her before she had a chance to speak.
Thank God. “I don’t want you to.” She traced a finger over his arm and he pulled her closer.
“When will I be able to see you again?”
A coy smile turned her lips as she looked up at his face. “When would you like?”
A clipped laugh vibrated in his throat. “Tomorrow.”
She wasn’t sure if this changed things between them or if their association would continue to be a secret. All she knew was that she’d go to him if he asked. “What about Slade? My father? Everything you said before?”
His mouth tightened, the shadows hiding much of his expression. “Does it bother you to keep this a secret?”
“Not necessarily. I think it would be more bothersome to explain it to others. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.” And she didn’t want any outsiders trying to interfere.
He kissed her softly. “I care about you, Isadora. I don’t want you to feel—”
Her hand gently covered his mouth, not wanting to hear an unfitting description of their relationship. “I care about you, too. Let’s not label anything. For now, let’s just go with it and see what happens.”
“You’re sure?”
She nodded. Her fingers trailed down his throat to his chest. It was difficult for her to say all she wanted him to know, but she could show him.
His body twitched, muscles bunching beneath her exploring touch and his gaze flaring with lust. She explored until she was ghosting her fingernails over the tops of his thighs. His body lengthened, his flesh darkening where blood steadily pumped beneath the surface.
Closer and closer.
Her fingers teased the dark nest of hair surrounding his arousal and her hand gently closed around him. He drew in an audible breath, his chest expanding. Unsure of any tricks women might use to do this to a man, she carefully stroked.
He seemed to like her touching him there so she assumed she was doing fine, but she wanted to do more. She wanted to be an irresistible part of his life, someone he could never keep away from again.
Leaning over, she tucked her hair behind her ear and pressed a kiss to his flat stomach. His breathing hitched as her lips neared his length.
“I might need a minute, bella.”
“It doesn’t look like it.” She brushed her lips over him, loving the smooth feel of him there, the rich scent of sex and masculinity.
Gently, she kissed him and he sucked in a breath, his hands brushing her hair away from her face. Opening her mouth, she closed her lips over the tip and gently pulled.
His fingers tenderly gathered up her hair and guided her lower. “That’s it…”
She shut her eyes and took him deeper into her mouth. His legs stretched as his free hand stroked along her spine. She wanted to make him feel as good as he made her feel—better than any other woman could.
His guttural groans bolstered her courage and she moved faster, her body responding to his reaction, desperate to have him again.
“Come here,” he said, rolling until she lay beneath him.
He kissed her and then shifted her to her stomach. His hard body moved behind her as he lifted her hips and stroked at her tender folds, slick with wanting.
Hitching her closer, he aligned their bodies, thrust and filled her in one sure stroke. She rocked into the bedding as he cradled her in his arms, blanketed her with his warm body. The ebb and flow was as natural as waves kissing the banks of the coast with every plunge.
He finished inside of her, his body swathing hers in a welcome heat. She curled along his side again, tired and spent, her limbs languid under a spell of well-earned exhaustion.
Gently kissing his fingers, she whispered, “Will you stay until morning?”
His arms tightened around her. “I’ll stay for a while.”
Good enough.
She didn’t spare any real thought to future consequences. The faint belief she might be gaining more from this than him flickered in her mind, but she wasn’t merely using his body. There was something about Sawyer that went beyond the superficial, beyond the physical. She liked him.
While this affair, whatever it was, might not last forever, it was hers and hers alone. She was content in accepting she deserved someone like Sawyer in her life and so long as he wanted to be with her, she believed they could make this work.