Miles was counting down the days to Friday and his last shift at the dinner theater. Part of him was sad, because he’d worked there for three years, and it had been his first real job after college. The rest of him was excited to get out of this damned city, with all its bad memories.
Living alone in the apartment felt strange at first, but these past few months Wes had been away on acting gigs or visiting Mack enough that it didn’t completely bother him. The still-frequent texts from Dallas left Miles a bit on edge, but mostly he was fine. Packed up except for a few things, plus some leftover food, and waiting on the weekend.
Wednesday evening, he clocked out and drove home, still too unnerved to ride the bus. At least Dallas hadn’t left any more love notes, or let the air out of his tires. The mechanic had told him that was the cause of the flat—no cuts, no nails, just a missing air valve cap. Its timing with the note was too much of a coincidence, though, for Dallas not to have done it.
And if Dallas thought notes and flat tires were somehow going to win Miles back, the guy was truly unhinged. And that worried Miles.
Two more shifts, and I’m free.
He didn’t start to relax until the elevator opened on his floor and his own door was in sight. But as he approached, a piece of paper taped to the door sent a splash of acid into the back of his throat. Dallas’s handwriting stood out on the folded note, which had Miles’s name on the front. Miles stared at it a beat, but it was only paper. Paper couldn’t hurt him.
The real fear came from knowing Dallas had discovered where he lived.
Did he follow me? Dox me? How the fuck?
He snatched the note off the door and unfolded it.
“All I want is a conversation, Miles, please. I miss you so much.”
“Not gonna happen,” he told the paper.
“Why not?”
Miles yelped as he spun around, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. Adrenaline coursed through his veins as he faced down his own personal bogeyman. Dallas Ward had once been Miles’s best friend and protector, and now Miles was terrified to be alone with him. A year older, buff as hell, Dallas was a strong guy and he knew it. He was also gorgeous on his worst day, and he knew that, too.
“How the hell did you find me?” Miles asked, glad his keys were tucked between his knuckles like a makeshift weapon.
“I have my ways.” Dallas’s easy grin did nothing to calm Miles down. “I’ve missed you so much, and you keep ignoring me.”
“Maybe that should have been your first clue to leave me alone.”
“But I’m not ready to leave you alone, baby. Please? Just let me in so we can talk.”
“We have nothing to talk about, Dallas. I told you that at Club Base, and I’m telling you again now. We’re over. Period.”
Dallas’s smile shifted into something darker. “Why do you get to decide that?”
Anger rippled down Miles’s spine. “Because of what you did on my birthday, you raging asshole. Go away.” He was seconds from shouting, and he didn’t care if that woke up his neighbors. Maybe causing a scene would make Dallas leave him the hell alone.
“I seem to recall us all having a great time on your birthday.” Dallas leered at his crotch.
“Gee, I’m glad one of us remembers what happened.” All Miles remembered was dancing with Dallas at the club and feeling guilty about it, because he’d come out with Wes and a few friends, and then waking up naked in Dallas’s bed with Dallas and a stranger. And God, he’d hurt that day, and for several days after.
Never again.
Miles palmed his phone. “If you don’t walk away, I’m calling the police, and I will file a restraining order against you. You want that on your record?”
Dallas put one hand on the wall by Miles’s head and leaned into his personal space. “All I want is a conversation, baby, and maybe one more fuck for old time’s sake.”
“No.” God, why weren’t any of his neighbors around when he needed them? Normally, he was thankful to avoid human interaction. “Back off or I’ll scream.”
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? Stringing me along, making me beg. Fuck you, Miles.” Dallas’s expression went from determined to cruel, and Miles quailed. “I had you first. You’ll always be mine.”
“I don’t belong to anyone, least of all you.”
“No?” Before Miles could think, Dallas had one hand over his mouth and the other down the back of his jeans. Dallas used his bulk and height to cage Miles against the wall, and Miles was so stunned he didn’t react right away.
Not until the hand down his pants started wiggling toward his crease. Pure anger and hatred washed over Miles, briefly blinding him. Never again. He was fucking done being used. Miles crushed that violating hand between his ass and the wall, wiggled his right hand free, and smashed those keys threaded between his knuckles right into Dallas’s rib cage.
Dallas shouted in pain and released him. Miles followed that up with a swift kick to the groin that dropped Dallas to his knees. With shaking hands, Miles got the apartment door unlocked, and dashed inside before Dallas could lunge. Turned the knob lock and snapped the dead bolt into place.
Lungs heaving, Miles stood in the middle of the dark living room and shook from head to toe as his adrenaline rush waned. Dallas banged on the door until a neighbor screamed at him to shut the fuck up. Miles stayed put for a long while after, until he could get his limbs to move and check out the peephole.
Empty hallway.
His stomach lurched, and Miles raced for the bathroom. Flipped on the light. He fell to his knees in front of the toilet as his stomach heaved. Nothing came up, though, and he sat there, rocking, allowing his terror to run its course. He could still feel Dallas’s hands on him, holding him down, groping him, so he ran a hot shower and got in with his clothes still on. Sat under the spray until it turned cold.
He slept for shit that night, unable to truly relax, even after he shoved the apartment’s only remaining armchair in front of the door. The apartment was on the fifth floor, so the tiny balcony and the windows weren’t good entry spots, but at this point, he’d put nothing past Dallas. The guy was deeply disturbed, and he might have been a little high, too.
At dawn, Miles started packing the last of his stuff. A local thrift store was picking up the rest of the furniture on Saturday, and Miles would leave a note with the super about it, but he wasn’t staying another night. Not knowing Dallas had found him. He packed up his car with his few boxes and suitcases, then drove to a hotel in San Jose to hide for the next two days. Fuck his job, he was done.
Part of him wanted to drive straight to Garrett, but if he showed up two days early, Wes would want to know why. And no way was Miles telling him about last night. Wes would worry, he’d want to interfere, and Miles didn’t want that. All he wanted was to get away from the constant fear of Dallas showing up and hurting him again. He could do that in a hotel for the next two nights, and then on Saturday morning, he’d go to his new home in the middle of nowhere.
He’d be safe at Clean Slate Ranch.
He hoped.
* * *
Reyes had switched around his Saturday morning schedule with Robin, so he could be there when Miles moved into the cabin. It was absolutely not because he was eager to see Miles again. Nope. Not a chance at all.
It made perfect sense to want to personally greet his new roommate. Sleeping in the cabin alone for the past week had been strange. He was used to having another body around, making noise and snoring like a chainsaw. The only real challenge would be getting dressed. Reyes had no issue dropping his towel in front of Mack, because of their decades-long relationship. And Mack had seen the scars on Reyes’s legs from day one.
No one else in the past six years had seen those, except his doctor.
Miles probably wouldn’t care about the scars, but Reyes did. They were a reminder of his second major failure. The second time he’d gotten someone killed.
The cabin was neat and tidy, waiting for Miles and his stuff, so Reyes went outside to the porch. It was warm for late March, with a steady breeze blowing. He sat on the small built-in bench and stretched his legs out.
“You look pretty relaxed for a guy who’s going to be living with a stranger,” Colt Woods said as he ambled onto the porch. “Then again, it takes a hell of a lot to ruffle your feathers.”
“Miles isn’t a complete stranger,” Reyes replied. “He’s a friend and a nice guy.”
Colt leaned against a porch post and folded his arms. “A nice guy you were checking out last weekend?”
Reyes groaned. “Wes gossips too much.”
“So it’s true?”
“Miles bent over. I was facing his direction. I was not ogling his ass or checking him out.”
Liar.
“I mean, none of us would care if you were,” Colt added. “Be kind of hypocritical, right?”
He loved that his friends respected his privacy and had never outright asked, “Are you gay, straight, or other?” They let him live his life without judgment—even if Colt did like to tease him about Reyes’s prudish nature once in a while.
“Yes, it would be,” Reyes replied. “And I’m not interested in Miles.”
“Okay. You interested in coming out tonight? Me and Robin are going to meet up with Derrick in the city.”
“Nah, I’m good. Thanks.”
“Sure. I won’t see Avery again for a few weeks, so I need to get out and dance my sexual frustration away.”
Reyes was genuinely impressed by Colt and Avery’s long-distance relationship, because he’d never imagined Colt as the long-distance type. But the pair flew out to see each other whenever possible, and they kept in constant touch on their phones and tablets. Avery had recently accepted a university position in San Francisco for the fall, so he’d be moving locally at the end of the summer, which had delighted Colt to no end.
Colt had matured so much since his reintroduction to Avery last year, becoming a calmer, steadier presence at the ranch, instead of the flirty wild child he’d been before. Still loved going clubbing, though, and that probably wouldn’t stop until he finally sprained something.
“You guys have fun,” Reyes said.
“You do realize that if our lives were a soap opera, you’d be the next one of us to fall in love.”
Reyes rolled his eyes. “Good thing our lives are more like an episode of Quick Draw.”
“With extra hot cowboys and bonus spankings?”
“You can keep all details of the second thing to yourself. Please.”
While Reyes knew Colt and Avery enjoyed certain aspects of BDSM in their relationship, he didn’t want or need to know the things they got up to in private.
Whatever floats their boat.
“If you’ve never been spanked, how do you know you won’t like it?” Colt teased.
Reyes glared at him. “Got spanked plenty as a kid, thanks. Not my thing.”
Colt instantly sobered. “Sorry, man. Didn’t mean to make fun of your past.”
“It is what it is. I was also a rough and tumble kid, and I did my fair share of stupid, spankable shit. Took me a long time to finally learn my lesson.”
“You never talk about your past.”
“Past is past. Can’t change it.”
“Right.” Colt tapped his boot heel against the porch. “You know, if I let my past simply be my past, I wouldn’t have a relationship with my parents and siblings again.”
“Glad that worked out for you, pal, I mean it. But it’s not for me.”
“Okay.”
A car trundled down the worn path to the cabins, and Reyes stood. Miles was here. Once the car was unpacked, he’d show Miles to the barn-shaped garage where employees kept their cars. Hiding them away helped keep a more authentic vibe for the ranch guests.
Miles climbed out of the driver’s seat with a smile that seemed forced. He almost looked wary, spooked.
“Hey, man, welcome,” Colt said.
“Thanks.” Miles meekly shook Colt’s hand, then turned to face Reyes. “Hi.”
“Hello,” Reyes replied. He warred with the part of himself that demanded he find out what was bothering Miles. Getting him settled and relaxed was a better first move. “Tell me what I can carry.”
“Okay.” He popped the locks on his car, then all three of them began unloading a handful of boxes and two suitcases.
All in all, it wasn’t much.
“I gave a lot of my stuff to Wes, since he’s got a big house to decorate and an actual kitchen,” Miles explained. “The last of the furniture we donated.”
“You gave away your whole life?” Colt asked. “That’s pretty wild.”
Miles shrugged. “I’m starting over here, with a new job and a new life. A new me. Can’t start over if I drag my past along with me.”
“Wise words,” Reyes replied. “Some of us feel the same way about our pasts.” He gave Colt a pointed look, hoping his friend took the hint and dropped the topic.
“You guys don’t have to entertain me while I unpack.”
Reyes couldn’t decipher if Miles was trying not to be a bother, or if he genuinely wanted to be left alone. “That’s obviously your side,” he said, pointing to the bed and dresser on the right. “Sheets and blanket are fresh. Plenty of room in the bathroom cabinet for your stuff. Make yourself at home.”
“Okay. Thanks.” This time, Miles’s smile was more genuine. Still a bit spooked, though, so Reyes decided to give him space to acclimate.
“Lunch is at noon,” Reyes said.
“Thank you.”
He led Colt out to the porch and shut the cabin door.
“Someone’s got first-day jitters,” Colt said. “I mean, Miles was always quiet, but he looks like he expects someone to change their mind and tell him he can’t really live here.”
“I noticed.” At least Reyes wasn’t reading the guy wrong. “Give him time. It’s an adjustment, moving here from a big city. We all went through it.”
“True story.” Colt clapped him on the shoulder. “I gotta jet. See you at lunch.”
“Yeah, see you.” Reyes sat on the bench and tried to relax while his new roommate unpacked.
* * *
As soon as he was alone, Miles sat on his bed and tried to remember how to breathe. For the past two days, he’d been holed up in a hotel room he couldn’t really afford, ordering room service that threatened to max out his sole credit card, and now he was free. Free of the oppressive city where Dallas roamed freely. Free of his old life where Dallas had gone from best friend and lover to frightening stalker.
Free to make new friends and reinvent himself.
I’d also kill for a good night’s sleep.
He’d barely slept the past three days, and he wasn’t surprised that Reyes seemed concerned by his appearance. He knew he looked pale and exhausted, but Reyes hadn’t pushed for an explanation. And he hadn’t let Colt do it, either, for which Miles was eternally grateful.
After he got his shit together, he started unpacking. He didn’t have a lot, just enough to fill his dresser and a few things to hang in their shared closet, like his winter coat and a dressy sports jacket he hadn’t worn in years. Line cooks didn’t exactly get invited to fancy events, and even when he was dating Kevin, they stuck to casual outings.
The bathroom was spotlessly clean, which told him everything he needed to know about his roommate. Miles never suspected Reyes was a slob, but his mother used to say you could judge a person’s tidiness by their bathroom. He put his own towels and toiletries away, and it occurred to him he’d never inquired about laundry. Who did it and where? Garrett itself didn’t have a laundromat.
He also purposely avoided looking at the bed across from his, so he didn’t obsess too much about sharing a room with another man. He’d had his own room since college, and a lock on his bedroom door since last April. Tonight he’d have to go to sleep with someone who could easily overpower him less than ten feet away.
He won’t, though. I’m safe here. My new life is starting today.
Once he was finished unpacking, Miles broke down the boxes and stored them under his bed, along with his shoes and two empty suitcases. The cabin’s size was efficient, and it certainly prompted the residents not to become pack rats.
His tasks complete, he stepped outside, intending to find someone who could tell him where to park his car. He jolted to a stop when he spotted Reyes seated on the porch, casually reclining while he did something on his phone. “You’re still here,” Miles said dumbly.
“I am.” Reyes grinned in a sexy way that made Miles’s heart race. “Figured you’d need a bit of showing around. You’re an employee this time, instead of a guest, so you get extra privileges in terms of where you can go.”
“Oh. Cool, okay. Um, I have a dumb question.”
“Only dumb question is the one you didn’t ask. My abuela used to say that.”
“Where do I do laundry?”
“Guesthouse basement has an industrial washer and dryer for linens and work polos, but there are four sets of regular ones for everyday laundry. There’s a schedule board down there, so if you like to do laundry at a set day every week, you can block yourself in for the machines.”
“Oh, that makes sense. Thanks.”
“No problem. As your roommate, I’m here to answer your questions. Ready to move your car?”
“Sure.”
In the close proximity of his car, Miles got a stronger whiff of Reyes’s aftershave. Something cedar-y but also sweet, and he really did not need to notice stuff like that. He was here to start over and do his job, not sniff his roommate.
Reyes directed him toward a big barn behind the guest house, then opened the double doors. The interior held several rows of vehicles, all neatly parked. The ranch seemed to have two pickups for everyday use, but this must be where all the employees stashed their cars. He liked the way the exterior kept the ranch authentic to guests.
They strolled together toward the front of the property, where guests were getting saddled up for what would likely be their last ride of their stay.
“Can’t say you’ll have much need to go into the main house,” Reyes said, “unless Arthur invites you for supper. But you can access the parts that say Employees Only. Same with the guesthouse. You can use the kitchen door and take your meals there with the rest of us. Only real restriction is riding alone, until you’ve had more practice.”
“I rode horses and did dressage competitions when I was twelve and thirteen,” Miles said. “I’m comfortable with horses.”
Reyes regarded him a moment. “You did seem pretty at ease last spring. With the horses, anyway.”
“I like horses. They’re simple, yet regal, animals, and they don’t bullshit you.”
“Unlike people?”
“Exactly.” They were heading toward the main barn. He’d never been inside it, only the attached corral. “People are just too fucking complicated.”
“I hear you.” Reyes’s easy expression said he wasn’t patronizing Miles; he meant it. “You feel like a quick ride before lunch? I didn’t see Tango go out with the guests.”
Miles perked up at the idea of riding Tango again. She was a sweet, gentle horse, and he’d loved spending time with her last year. “I’d like that.”
“Excellent.”
Reyes brought Tango and then Hot Coffee over to the tack area. Miles took the offered brush and gave her a quick rubdown, careful to stay out of Reyes’s space, before layering on the blanket and saddle. Tango stood patiently, her tail occasionally twitching, until Miles had her ready. And he’d finished before Reyes, which made him smile at the shiny saddle.
They both led their mounts outside before swinging up. Miles’s limbs were a little stiff, because he’d done nothing more taxing than watch television for two days straight. He needed some real exercise.
Reyes wandered west, away from the guest trails, and over less trodden fields of grass and scrub trees. Miles eased into Tango’s steady pace, allowing his body to roll with every step. Dirt and horse and grass tickled his nostrils, and he basked in the streaming sunshine, his body and mind relaxing by degrees.
Moving here was the best idea ever. Thank you, Wes.
They headed into a more wooded area, but Miles trusted Reyes to get them both back safely. He didn’t know the man well, but he did trust him. No fear that Reyes was leading him into the wilderness to take advantage of him, or hurt him in any way.
A phantom hand stroked his ass, and Miles pushed those thoughts away. No thinking about Dallas anymore, not out here where it was so breathtakingly gorgeous. He wished he had his nice camera, but resigned himself to snapping a few pictures on his phone. His brand-new phone, with a brand-new number he’d already given to the important people in his life.
“You need a break?” Reyes asked. He reined Hot Coffee to a stop near a narrow creek so she could drink.
“No, I’m fine.” Miles brought Tango up to the same creek.
“It’s just...you looked upset for a moment.”
“Thinking about something I shouldn’t be thinking about right now. It’s too peaceful for bad things.”
“I hear you. When I’m upset or stressed, riding out here is a great way to clear my head. Reminds me of all the beauty in the world, and that this little slice of heaven is all for us.”
Miles snickered. “I may have to pay rent on Tango, because running a kitchen is hella stressful. I’ll be needing some evening walks.”
“Any time you want a friend along, you let me know.”
“I will. Thank you, Reyes. You’re being really cool about having a stranger dropped into your life.”
“You aren’t a stranger, Miles. We don’t know each other well, but I do consider you a friend.”
“Same. The friend thing, I mean.”
Too bad you weren’t around on Wednesday to kick Dallas’s ass for me.
Then again, Miles had done a pretty good job defending himself—even if the whole thing had sent him into hiding. Something he would never admit to anyone out loud, ever.
No one needs to know how big of a coward I am.
“You’re doing it again,” Reyes said. “Thinking bad thoughts. I see it in your eyes.”
“Sorry.”
Their horses were finished drinking, so they headed out again. Miles used the direction of the sun to figure out they were slowly circling back to the ranch. His stomach growled; lunch sounded like a great idea right about now.
He probably should fill the time with getting-to-know-you type questions, but Miles was enjoying the peace too much to speak. Birds chirped, the occasional branch snapped, but mostly they traveled in silence, and Miles soaked it in. He imagined that peace seeping all the way into his bones and chasing away his fears, doubts, and bad memories.
The distant shape of the barn came into view, and Miles sighed. The magic spell was almost over for now. Miles leaned down to pat the side of Tango’s neck. “We’ll be out again soon, lady. Promise.”
When he looked up, Reyes was turning his head sharply away.
Don’t read anything into it. He probably heard a noise or something.
Even if Reyes was interested, Miles was done with men. They just weren’t worth the stress anymore. All he needed was his kitchen up at the ghost town, a warm bed to sleep in, and the occasional horseback ride. Period.