Ratchet

Ratchet slouched in a wing-backed chair alone at the funeral home. Dark blue necktie loosened. The funeral services were over, and everyone had left. The only other person there was the funeral director. Ratchet stared down at his cell phone sitting on the coffee table in front of him, next to powder blue box of tissues. It rang once, and Ratchet snatched it up and pushed the receive button

“Hello, Grandma?”

“Hello… is that you, Son?” her voice was soft.

“Yeah, it’s me, Grandma. It’s James.”

He heard her start to cry and sniffle.

Ratchet listened to the sound of loud pipes from several bikes pulling into the lot outside the funeral home.

“Oh, Son…”

“It’s my fault, Grandma. I should have done something, Take Mom away. Protect her from him –“

“No, Son. It’s not your fault. Don’t ever say that again. She did the best she could. She loved you so much. You were her life.”

Ratchet squeezed his eyes to stop the tears, but they sprung anyway, and one ran down his face to his chin and dropped on his thigh.

“Now listen to me, James. I want you to come see me and we’ll talk. I live on 2389 Henderson Lane. There are some things I need to tell you about your mother, James.”

“Ok, Grandma. I’ll come see you first thing in the morning.”

“OK, Son. That will make your grandma very happy. I love you, James…”

“Love you too, Grandma… bye…”

He came through the through the door as Ratchet shut his flip phone. It was his father, dressed in riding boots, faded jeans, and his cut. A little grey sprouted through his deep brown hair and long beard. He was a hulk of a man walking toward Ratchet with the familiar gate that was not unlike his own.

He came to a stop above Ratchet. His stance was wide, and he looked down at him. When he pulled his shades off, Ratchet saw his own eyes looking down at him.

“I guess I didn’t make it in time for the services, Son…”

Ratchet was off the wing-back chair, his forearm up against his father’s burly chest and growled, pushing him up against a concrete podium.

“Get out!” he growled through a clenched jaw an inch away from his father’s face.

James Senior grabbed his son by the biceps, suddenly realizing he was as strong as himself.

“Or what, Son? You ain’t no better than me. She coddled you. Made you into a fuckin’ pussy! That’s why she couldn’t take it anymore. Drove me away, drove everyone away…”

 

Sam hugged me tight with her soft thighs and arms as I rode her away from the clubhouse. I drove her toward the mountains and found a quiet spot next to a secluded winding road and kicked the stand down. The gurgling of water several yards in the woods could be heard as I walked Sam on a dirt path. We came to a clear water stream. The dirt path was the only giveaway to the secret little spot that only a few people knew about. A huge boulder was anchored off the edge of the stream.

“Let’s sit here, Sam. We need to talk.”

She sat on the rock first, and I lowered myself to settle next to her. I didn’t know where to begin. I looked at her pretty face, strands of her raven hair blew in the breeze. Those pouty, adorable lips. I placed my hand on top her small one.

“I’m a spitting image of my dear ol’ dad – James Racette the first. I look like him. I sound like him. But my mother was a soft-spoken woman. Couldn’t hurt a fly. My father, on the other hand, was the opposite. He liked to hurt. Liked to beat me when I was a kid. Smack me around. He called me a pussy every other week and that I wasn’t a Racette. Both me and my mother were just a burden to him. We were the reason he couldn’t hold a job for more than a month. My mom was also the reason he couldn’t keep his dick hard enough… Yeah. He told me that on a few occasions too.

He’d leave us from time to time for months. Mom struggled and had help from friends. My grandmother was there to help whenever he was gone. But he’d always come back. New job, new clothes and a reason to take care of me and mom. We were all afraid of him. My grandmother would go away but made sure she left us with enough food and an apartment where a lease was paid in full for 12 months. My mom would get a job, but when he came back in town, he made her quit and tell her to forget any of the new friends she met. He was a Racette, and he would provide for us.

When I was a teen, I got into small scraps and fought at school. I took out my anger and fear of him out on other boys my age. Trying to prove I was tough enough for him. A bad-ass Racette boy. I also got mixed up with just selling weed and smoking it when I could, which helped pay for groceries or anything my mother needed.

I came from school one day, and my dad showed back up at our apartment complex. He rode into the parking lot on an old shovelhead, along with five other bikers. They all wore the same cut as him. He was patched in with the Hammer Heads MC, a diamond club out of North Carolina. I knew a bit about MC’s but not much.

My dear ol’ dad found us and came to celebrate his patching in with the Hammer Heads. Once off his bike, he lumbered over toward me. He was still large and fearsome to me. He slammed a meaty fist into my shoulder, telling me I grew like a weed. Then he introduced me to his brothers. He wanted to see my mother. I followed him and his members up the stairs to my apartment. And I was full of dread. I’ll never forget the look of defeat and emptiness in my mother’s eyes when we walked in. He grabbed her around the waist and planted a kiss on her cheek bellowing out, ‘Poppa’s home! Time to celebrate with my new club brothers, Babe!’

They stayed for five nights. My piece of shit father kept my mother in her bedroom with him. Five nights I heard her cry behind her bedroom door and feeling that ache in the back of my throat, not able to stop him.

I didn’t go to school those days. Just stayed with mom, ran out to score some coke and dope for Dad and his brothers. Didn’t know what else to do. Thought maybe they would finally leave one day soon.

The fifth night, I come through the apartment door and saw my mother crying. He had a fist full of her hair, dragging her out of the bedroom. He pushed her down to her knees on the floor, still holding a fistful of her hair.

‘Dumb, Bitch. Thinks she can make my son grow up to be a fuckin’ pussy!’

The other fucking members chuckled, sitting on the couch and the kitchen table playing cards, smoking pot, doing lines of coke on my mother’s little mirror they stole from our bathroom.

Everything turned red before my eyes seeing my mother on her knees. I came at my father with all I had. Both my fists gripped onto the front of his cut. I yelled at him to Get the fuck off my mother, calling him a sick piece of shit.

I didn’t see him let go of my mother’s hair and his fist slammed into my temple with a powerful hook. I went down.

It felt like my head was being squeezed in a vise when I came too. First, I heard was muffled sounds of cries coming from my mother in the bedroom. And, the sounds of chuckling and whooping from that bedroom too.

My vision cleared as I opened my eyes to that throbbing pain and saw my father sitting on the couch, snorting coke from my mother’s mirror with a rolled-up dollar bill. He looked down at me as I got up from the floor.

I’ll never forget what he said.

‘Shouldn’t have done that, Son. Showin’ off in front of my brothers, big fuck-up on your part. Look at you now. Nothing but a pussy. Hear your mom in there? Yeah, my brothers are having some fun with her now. She’s always been nothing but a waste of my time. A burden. That’s all bitches are, Boy.’

I don’t remember what else he said because next thing I did was push myself off the floor and headed straight for the bedroom door. I grabbed the knob, twisting it back and forth, kicking it, yelling, cussing that those motherfuckers were dead. Then I felt something pressed hard against the back of my skull. And I just remembered the Glock he had shoved down the front of his jeans.

He told me I was not going in there and that I wouldn’t like what I saw if I opened that door. I didn’t listen to him and continued to slam my shoulder against the door. Then I felt a sharp pain in the back of my skull. He knocked me out cold with the Glock.

I then felt something wet splash on my cheek when I came to. My head was cradled in my mother’s soft lap.

They had left after they were done raping my mother. I never saw him again. Until the funeral.

I went to see my grandmother the day after my mother’s funeral. She did age some since the last time I saw her. She gave me one of her tight hugs, well as tight as a fragile little woman could muster for someone the size of me by then.

She told me that day that my mother was from a family of wealth, The Wilmingtons, from South Carolina, a long and old generation of plantation owners. She was kind-hearted and smart. Beautiful chestnut hair and light brown eyes. She liked to read books when she was young and hung out with other girls her age, chatting about what girls chat about; boys, books, and school. But when she finished high school, she had a little wild streak in her. I guess she wanted to experience some of the things she read in books. She was at a friend’s house for a slumber party, and that’s where my father first saw her. He was buddies with one of the girl’s older brothers. I guess he put on the charm with her. He was a big guy, looked pretty much like me. He reminded my mother of some of the dashing rogue characters in books she read, and she fell head over heels.

She was innocent when it came to men though. She didn’t date in high school. And she was easily influenced by my father. After nine months I was born, daddy dearest was all proud and happy since he thought he hit the lottery. Knocking up the rich girl was his ticket to her family money. Well, he wasn’t happy for too long once my grandmother made it clear to him that he wasn’t getting a fuckin’ dime of the family money. And after that, it was Hell. He took her away from her friends, and her family. He moved her to North Carolina with me on her hip.

After what that piece of shit of a father and his club did to my mother, I packed what I could and moved us to another apartment in the next county. I got a job at a local gas station. The owner let me tinker on my old Sporty I bought for a few thousand bucks. I did what I could to make money. Sold some dope and other drugs. I just took care of my mother and myself.

A few years go by; we’re doing ok. Mother kept in touch with my grandmother, and we did what we could to have a normal life. But mother was never the same. She would shut down sometimes and withdraw into herself. Not eat. She didn’t get out of bed for days. Always worried about me and when I’d be home. Worried he would come back and take me away and mold me to be just like him. I did and said all I could to try to convince her that I would always be there for her. I was working the night shift at the register at the local gas station when I got the call from her. Her voice was faint on the phone; I could barely hear it.

‘Jimmy…’ was all she said.

She didn’t sound right on the phone. I locked up the gas station, and high-tailed it to the apartment on my Sporty. But it was too late. I found her curled up in her bed, still holding the cell phone.

She took a hefty dose of both Xanax and Ambien. She got the scripts from a local physician to help her with sleep and nervousness or anxiety. I don’t remember what I did for the next two hours. I guess I blocked it all out. I found myself sitting on the bed, cradling my her in my arms. I took her cell phone and dialed 911 then my grandmother.

I left my grandmother’s house with a signed check to my name for ten grand. I canceled the lease to the apartment and took as much stuff I could to the local thrift store. I packed clothes in a duffle bag, strapped it onto my Sporty, and rode up the east coast from North Carolina into Virginia. I landed here in Stayford County. I cashed the check and got myself an apartment and a job at the Towing service; I could tinker with my Sporty again. That’s where I met Gunner. He just came back from his last tour in Iraq, and he rode up on a soft tail. It was his first day on the job. We started shootin’ the shit, and we rode. He showed me all the good roads. He invited me up to the Chaos Kings MC clubhouse. They had an all-weekend party. Lots of drinking, more than a few bong hits and the chicks liked to have a good time too. Gunner introduced me to all the brothers, and I sensed a brotherhood. A tribe who lived alongside society. Not a diamond club. Members had legit jobs, families and really knew how to party; have a good time, and ride. And the most important thing to me was that the men didn’t treat their women like shit. I became a hang around at first and then moved into prospecting. Gunner was my sponsor. I was fully patched in after only six months, and Rocky gave me a position as one of the Road Captains.

I told Sid you’re free of him and the Hounds. You belong here with me now. I will do anything to keep you safe. Safe with the Chaos Kings. You’re a very brave woman. You did what you had to do to survive that fuckin’ hell. I believe you were put in my path that night at Bike Week. That even in this fucked up world we both came out of, despite all the Chaos that surrounds all of us and fight our way through, we can ride through it. Lead our own lives. Just breath and take care of each other.”

I stopped then. Just to let what I said to her sink in. I needed to let it all sink in too. She stared at me, mouth in a straight line, but tears were getting ready to spill out from the corners of her eyes.

“When I was with Sid, he controlled my every move, my every breath. I can still feel him. Inside my head.”

“Do you want what I want, Sam? Ride with me? Make our own choices and decisions?”

“Yes, Ratchet. I do. I want to breathe on my own. Ride with you.”

My mouth collided with hers just then. Our tongues twisted and tasted each other. She suddenly withdrew and leaned away from me.

“We both know this won’t happen. Sid will not let me go. And if you get in his way, he will hurt you, your brothers, or even worse. My running away has just made him angry. He’s in a rage now. You have put yourself in his path to get to me.”

“I’m getting you a bus ticket to North Carolina. I want you to stay with my grandmother. No one, not even Chaos knows where she lives. You stay with her for a while until I figure something out. My brothers will help me figure things out.”

She leaned down and nestled her cheek against my chest.

“But for how long? Does your grandmother know anything about me? I don’t want to put her in any danger…”

“I’m going to call her today. She is a good woman, Sam. She’s been there for my mother and me when she could. Remember. My mother’s family comes from generations of wealth. That’s what my scum of a father always wanted. The money. Who knows? Sid is just like him. It’s all about money. Those kinds of men think money is what makes you King. Just promise me one thing, Sam.”

“What’s that?”

“My mother couldn’t overcome the pain and her disgrace of what happened. That’s why I believe she checked out. Promise me. If you venture down that dark road, that you bring me along with you. You feel like checking out because it’s the only solution, you come to me. I will do everything in my power to help you, whatever it takes. Get the help of a doctor, medications, anything.”

“Yes, James… I promise.”

 

Two days later, Ratchet dropped me off at the bookstore so that I could tell Kat my plans. I had one of his duffle bags packed with my clothes, ready for my trip to North Carolina.

“Kat, I need to tell you something and let our boss know. I have to leave town for a while. Ratchet’s on his way to get me a bus ticket now. I have my things packed. I’m leaving today. I don’t know when I will be back, so I understand if I lose my job over this. But that’s all I can to tell you.”

Kat stared at me for a very long moment. Her jaw dropped open.

“You’re scaring me, Sam…”

“It’s ok, Kat. I want to thank you for all you’ve done for me. Showing me, helping me around the bookstore. You helped me come out of my shell. I will always cherish our fun talks and all the giggles.”

I suddenly fought the tears that were ready to spill and swallowed the pain in my throat. I threw my arms around Kat and embraced her with a tight squeeze.

“It’ll be ok, Sam… You’re going to be ok. You’re fortunate to have a boyfriend like Ratchet. He will help you. I will help you. Mum’s the word. I’ll tell the boss you have a sick aunt you need to visit for a while. I guarantee you’ll still have your job when you get back. Just please be careful…”

She was hugging me back tightly when I bell on the front door jingled. I turned around to greet the customer. My heart thudded against my chest.

“So this is where my sheep’s been workin’.” Sid sauntered in grinning.

“Baaaha Baaaha!” Rusty followed behind, making that horrible sound. The third Hound, with the dark hair, I didn’t recognize.

I turned back to Kat, “Don’t say anything.”

She followed my eyes to look down at my cell phone lying next to a stack of paperback books on the counter. Her eyes met mine, and she gave me a quick nod.

By the time I turned back to Sid, he was just a few feet away. The only barrier keeping him from getting to me was the counter and cash register.

“How did you find me?”

“Well, you know Mandi don’t you, Sam? She’s been hanging out with the brothers and me lately. She was pretty pissed off about you suckin’ on that Chaos cock that she was bangin’. Did you know she’s a wildcat? Whoa, boy. Can that bitch suck cock and take it all up the ass? We got her broke in really good.”

Mandi. The last time I’d seen her was at Chaos King’s clubhouse. Heads turned to get a good look at her curves and sexy clothes she wore. Then that image of her changed. She’d been used and passed around like I was. My image of her now was different. She looked broken, frightened.

“I’m impressed, Sam. This looks legit. Working at a bookstore, hangin’ with the Chaos Kings, blowin’ a few of them too I bet. They’re not even a diamond club you dumb bitch. That’s not your style.”

My knees almost gave out on me. Numbness spread throughout my body and blood drained from my face. He had a permanent grin on his face, knowing what he was doing to me.

“Didn’t that Chaos tell you I’d be coming back for you sweetheart? Bet he’s had enough of you anyway. Let’s go. I’ll get you your job back at the Steel Cage. Gonna have to figure out what we’ll do with you.”

“Ok, Sid. I’ll go with you. Just let it go with Ratchet and Chaos. I’ve had my fun.”

His eyes turned to Kat.

“Who is this juicy thang?”

“She just works here. She’s a bore. I’ve had to put up with her.”

He grinned at her, his eyes roaming over her breasts and then downward.

“Bet you rub your pussy thinkin’ about guys like us, huh? Bet that juicy body of yours bruises easily too…”

Kat peeled her eyes from him and looked at me, terrified, “Sam?”

“It’s ok, Kat. I’m going with Sid ok?”

She followed my eyes again back to my cell phone.

The sun just disappeared over the horizon when I got on the back of Sid’s bike. We rode to the Steel Cage, Rusty and the dark-haired Hound riding staggered behind us.