WITH SANDI’S HELP I GET a job at Children’s World in North Escondido. It’s a cute little school full of bright colors and filled with great teachers who really care about the kids. The owners of Children’s World believe that music and art encourage creativity, and I wholeheartedly agree. I was raised with music and have pursued art my entire adult life.
I love being around Chloe every day. She’s doing exceptionally well though I expected nothing less. She’s made a ton of new friends and has become even closer with Sandi’s daughter Kara. She’s also becoming close friends with Annie, the daughter of another teacher named Beth, who I’m also growing close to.
I’m actually happy, or at least my new version of happy. Chloe and I are settling into a routine just like E suggested, and it’s been nice. I need to tell him that. It’s my lunch break, so I head off to a quiet spot to text.
E.
Hey, babe!
I love it here! Thanks for the push. I took your advice and as always, you’re right. So far, the stability has done us both a world of good.
Wow, that’s great, babe. You sound happy and that makes me smile.
He knows I took the job, but it’s been a busy few days and we haven’t texted as much as I’d like…I’ve missed him. I just didn’t realize how much until right now.
Thanks, E. I am happy. It’s a great little school. We’ve both made new friends and it’s been really great to be able to work and spend time with my daughter all day. I’m sorry I haven’t been around as much.
You never need to apologize for getting on with your life.
I’m apologizing for not being here for you. If you haven’t noticed, E, you’re a huge part of my life. I’d never be where I am today if it weren’t for you.
I feel the exact same way. I love the fact that we text all the time but I also understand life sometimes gets in the way. And to be perfectly honest, just knowing you’re around makes me feel less alone.
I’ve really missed you, E.
I’ve missed you too, Dee. And not to throw a wrench on this love-fest but how’s it been going on at the home front?
Ugh! Thinking about my mother always throws any good mood I may be having out the window.
My mom’s been trying but we both know it won’t last. Einstein’s definition of insanity is “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” If you google it, you’ll see my picture.
(Evil villain laugh) I finally get to see what you look like… Wait a minute.
Why did he stop texting?
Ugh! Not a flattering picture.
Oh my God, E!
I burst with a laugh so loud that a few people actually look my way. I love our banter.
Did you just go online and look up the definition of insanity to see if my picture was there?
I did but I didn’t expect you to be an old man with crazy gray hair and an overgrown mustache.
You’re cracking me up! And here I thought they got my better side. I’ll have to face the other way next time. But seriously, E. Thanks for everything…the laugh included.
I’m really happy for you, Dee.
So far, so good, I guess. And that is saying a lot.
You’re on the right track so keep going.
You do know that the light at the end of the tunnel is another train, right?
LOL! And yes, I do know that. I’m that schmuck who’s always on that stupid train!
I’m right there with ya, and thanks for being my other half on this journey.
That’s what I’m here for.
How about you? You said that you were going to start running again. Are you actually working on those looove handles?
Let’s put it this way. I could model for GQ if I wanted to.
Hah and oooooo! I’m positive that he’s handsome. I imagine he has a lean, well-sculpted body, and I have no doubt he could model if he wanted to.
Well, that’s good those love handles will no longer be getting in the way! We can’t have anything interfering with all your brilliant texting. That would be a tragedy!
Do you not remember our previous discussion regarding my love handles? Or do I need to remind you?
I smile at the memory.
Nope! Still got a pretty vivid memory of that one. I think it’s been seared into my brain.
As it should be.
I hate to change the mood but I need to ask him about building furniture again. I know he abandoned his passion after the accident and the fact that he bought a sketchbook and started designing again shows me he misses it. I know it’ll help him move forward if he picks it up again. But I also know he’s scared, when your life suddenly gets stolen out from under you, everything is scary.
It’s my turn for the wrench, E. Any more thought on creating furniture again?
No.
Oh God, he’s going back to one-word answers. That’s not going to stop me though. I know him well enough now to be able to turn his mood around and I’m determined to help him like he’s helped me.
We’ve talked about this and we’ve already taken the first steps. I know you’re scared to go back into that again but it would be the best thing you could do. Your brilliant mind will be occupied again. You’re creative, E, just like me. You need this.
I know, sweetheart. I’m just not ready.
YES. YOU. ARE! I know it! You know it! When we hang up I want you to sit down. I want you to open that sketchbook of yours and I want you to draw something…for me. I’ll be with you, of course; texting exactly what I like, so you’ll make exactly what I want.
We’ve been spending a lot of time lately texting about him picking up that part of his life again. Through our texts, I got him to clear out his garage and get a drafting table and chair set up so he could work. I wanted him to also put in a love seat, table, and mini fridge so he could be comfortable, but he adamantly refused. It was how his store was set up before the accident and I can’t blame him for not wanting to see the same setup. It was slow-going and took a lot of convincing and a lot of virtual hand-holding but we got it done.
Getting him to actually sit in there? Work in there? Well, let’s just say we’re still working on that. Baby steps.
For you?
I can sense his disbelief and imagine him sitting on his couch with a scowl on his face; a scowl that I plan on erasing, and keeping away for good. Asking him to do it for me got him to Thanksgiving dinner, so going with what works, I continue:
Yes, for me! I’m heading home soon and I don’t have any outdoor furniture. I’d like a small dining table, four chairs, and a couple of lounge chairs with a small table to go between them. I feel like what you make for me should be bright. You bring that out in me. Summery, bright, and beachy!
Beachy?
Yes, summery, bright, and beachy! Are you even listening?!
I’m listening.
And you’re stalling!
I am.
I know he is but I also know he can do this; so I tell him just that.
Babe, I know you can do this! I have so much confidence in you and I’ll be with you every step of the way, like I always am. Why don’t we make a date? Text me from your garage and we can work on it, together. That way I’ll get to work with the best and get exactly what I want. A win-win! Come on, let’s do this!
Okay.
Okay?!
Again, why do I always question him whenever he gives me the answer I want to hear?
Okay.
YES!
And that’s exactly what we do. I have Sandi take Chloe for another weekend. I tell her I want to spend some time alone with my mom—a lie because my mom told me she’d be gone the entire weekend—but she buys it, which I’m extremely thankful for. E and I spend the entire weekend designing my furniture. We get on the same websites and pick out paint colors and fabric patterns. It takes a long time; we stop to eat a few times and plenty of alcohol is consumed, but we do it.
It goes so well that we even go to the hardware store and together, albeit through texts, we buy the tools and materials for my new furniture which is now sitting in his garage.
I think all our joking around helped him forget the significance of what he was actually doing, but I didn’t forget it. I know what he’s doing is huge for him. It’s a clusterfuck of emotions for me though. We came up with a bunch of stuff I know I’d love, but will never see.
Having said that, I know once everything is built, seeing all the completed work in his garage will bring a smile to his face and hopefully encourage him to continue down this new road. And that thought alone makes me happy.
Now I just have to work on me.