ADELINE

 

I'VE ONLY BEEN in the small town of Cedar Creek, Pennsylvania for a short time, but I'm already in love with the town and the people who reside in it.

Barbara's son, James, and his family have been more than hospitable, putting me up in a small two-story home just down the road from the store that he owns.  It's close enough to walk to work, and I've been putting in a significant number of hours at the little convenience store that always seems to be busy.

James told me it's the only store for twenty miles, so everyone in the town goes there for everything they need.  He tries to stock all of the essentials and even special requests from the people in town…no matter how bizarre.

James has a way with the town folk.  He's personable and always has a smile on his face.

And he was willing to give me a chance, a complete stranger, so that tells me a lot about his character.

He has a kind soul.  Just like his mother.

I'm closing up for the night when James comes out of the back storage room.  "Have you heard from my mother?  I tried calling her yesterday and today, and I've been getting no answer."

I think for a moment to the last time Barbara and I spoke.  I suppose it's been a few days as well.  "Maybe she finally agreed to go out with Dr. Benson," I offer.

James grins.  "You think she finally caved?"

I grin at the memory of Dr. Benson coming to check out my ankle after Barbara first took me to her house.  I could practically feel the sexual tension in the room, and I didn't miss the longing glances from both of them.

Barbara had denied it vehemently numerous times; but to quote Shakespeare, the lady doth protest too much, methinks.

"Maybe he finally wore her down," I say with a giggle.  Dr. Benson had been practically begging for a date for over a year.  His wife had passed away suddenly just as Barbara's husband had, and I know they both were lonely.  I urged her into at least giving him a chance, so maybe she finally took my advice.

"It's not like her to not check in at least once a day with all of us," he says with a shake of his head, his playful tone gone now and replaced with worry.

I nibble on my thumbnail, growing anxious.  Maybe it's just nothing…or maybe it's…

No.  My father is in jail, and the rest of his goons are following close behind him.  I haven't seen anything online or in the paper about the feds arresting Giovanni yet, but I know it's only a matter of time.

"I'll try calling her tonight," I tell him.

He nods and then says, "Head on home.  I'll lock up."

I can see the wrinkle in his brow.  He's worried about his mom.  And now I'm worried too.  "Okay, boss," I tell him with a forced smile.  "See you tomorrow."

I grab my small cross body purse from the hook behind the counter and leave the store.  The sidewalk is cracked and raised in some places, and I'm thankful for the sporadic cast iron street lamps that light my way home.

My house is the last one at the end of the street.  It's two stories with three bedrooms, a small kitchen, living room, bathroom and front porch.  It's more than enough room for me, and I'm just thankful to have a place to call my own.

The porch light glows in the darkness, and the candle lamps in all the windows welcome me home.

I unlock the front door, push my way inside and flick on the foyer light.  Closing and locking the door behind me, I sling my purse over a hook near the door and make my way to the kitchen.

There's an older-style rotary phone on the wall, and I pick it up and dial Barbara's number, which I know by heart.

When I get her machine, I leave a message.  "Hi, Barbara.  It's me," I say into the receiver.  I never leave my name…just in case.  "James is getting worried that you haven't been calling, and now I'm worried too.  Just…call one of us.  Okay?" I ask, and I grimace when I hear the tremor in my voice.

Hanging up the phone, I press my forehead against the smooth, black plastic and breathe in deeply.  "I hope you're okay," I whisper.

I've grown close with Barbara over the past several weeks.  And if anything happens to her, I'll never forgive myself.

I step back and stare at the receiver, urging it to ring.  But it never does.

Sighing deeply, I jog up the flight of stairs, strip out of my work clothes and take a long bath.  The warm water does little to soothe me, however.  I have a bone-deep chill that I can't seem to get rid of, and I know it's not because of the colder weather sweeping across Pennsylvania.

After I dry off and dress, I have an overwhelming pressure on my chest, and I know it's going to be one of those nights — the kind of night where I can't stop crying, because I miss him.

Sometimes I miss him so bad it physically hurts.

Standing in my small closet, I spy the duffle bag I crammed in the top corner shelf.  It contains all my money…and the precious gift that Lucien made for me back on the island.

I haven't been able to even look at the watch since my world turned upside-down.

But it doesn't deserve to stay hidden forever.

It should be worn with pride as a constant reminder of someone I loved very deeply and who loved me just as much in return.

Lifting up on my tiptoes, I grab the duffle bag and yank it off the shelf.  Placing it on my small twin-sized bed, I unzip the bag and then the small inner pocket.

The moment my fingers touch the familiar rose gold band, I feel my heart stutter in my chest.

I pull the watch out and hold it in the lamplight.  Tears fill my eyes and blur the object in my hands.

They say all wounds heal over time, but I don't believe that's true about broken hearts.  The cracks and schisms simply harden to a petrified state, but they're always there, and they never fully heal.

I carefully wrap the band around my wrist and do the clasp.  But when I turn my wrist over, the screen is dark.  I remember Lucien told me it runs on my body heat.  And it's sat cold for so long that I wonder if it will even work again.

A tear slips from my cheek and splashes onto the screen, and I quickly wipe it away.  Even if it never works again, I vow to never take it off.  Just having it around my wrist again makes me feel better.

My hands go to my small belly bump, which has been growing with every passing week.  And Laura, James's wife, has been sending over meal after meal, which has been a blessing but also a curse.  I feel like I've gained twenty pounds just from her food alone.

If I stay here much longer, I'm going to look like a blimp and like I'm carrying triplets instead of just one, tiny baby.

Curling up on the bed with my hands around my tummy, I close my eyes.

Even though I'll never have a photo of Lucien, I can picture him in my head.  I can see his broody, dark eyes and rare smile that used to light up my entire world.

Tears well up in my eyes and run down my temple and the bridge of my nose as I think back to the whirlwind that's been my life the past few months.  Lucien would know exactly what to do, and he would protect me.  He would protect us.

What I wouldn't have given to share just one more moment with him, to tell him I love him just one more time.

But I can't turn back time, and I can't ever get him back.

The most important thing now is to let his memory live on through me.  And I won't let our baby grow up without knowing that his or her father was one of the kindest and strongest men I have ever met.

Lucien would have loved our baby with all of his tortured heart.

I long for him.  Many nights I wake up in a panic, covered in sweat and screaming his name.  That horrible day plagues my nightmares, and it's like I just can't seem to get that gruesome image out of my mind no matter how hard I try.

I squeeze my eyes shut and more tears leak out when I think of Lucien falling backwards into the pool, the water turning red.

Just like in real life, even in my dreams Lucien never surfaces.

A beeping noise breaks me out of my nightmarish reverie.  The screen of the watch glows with the word rebooting on it.

My tired, blurry eyes stare at the screen as rebooting flashes over and over, lulling me to sleep.

And just before my eyes close for good that night, I see the screen flash to normal and watch as the time and date resets from that fateful day to the present like it's restarting my life.

And maybe that's exactly what I need right now.

A reboot.

And to let go of the past…and let go of him.