Cole arrived back at his hospital room, only to learn that Dani was gone. His disappointment was immense. That was it. She’d taken off. She wanted no more of Cole Sullivan. Everything he’d feared as they wheeled him into that MRI room was right on the money. Well, maybe not everything. He still hadn’t received his news from the doctor.
He got settled in his bed and took the pain medication the nurse offered. The headache had inexplicably gotten better during his test, but this stuff was fast acting and his agony was quickly fading. His physical misery might be disappearing quickly, but it was being upstaged by his state of mind—a harrowing mix of sadness, trepidation, and plain old worry. Between waiting for the doctor and wondering if Dani would ever speak to him again, things couldn’t get any worse.
Out of nowhere, his brother Sam burst into his room. He was wearing his clothes from the ranch, cowboy hat and all. “I got here as fast as I could.”
Cole sat up, wondering who in the hell thought up the design for hospital gowns. “How did you know I was here?”
“Dani called me.” Sam sidled up to the bed and took a full survey of Cole. “She was worried. She didn’t want you to be alone. But she had to leave. I think she needed to get to her boys.”
Cole let out a deep sigh. Dani was clearly juggling a lot today and he’d had to go and heap one more thing on the pile by telling her about the glioma. At least she knew now. Come what may, the truth was out. “I’ll have to thank her for that.”
“Of course, it would’ve been nice if you’d called me or one of your other family members yourself. Were you just going to sit here and stew?”
Cole pressed his lips together tightly. “I’m thinking. And I needed to do it by myself.”
“Thinking? Or worrying?” Sam reached for a small side chair and pulled it closer to Cole’s bedside.
“At this point, I’m not sure I can separate the two. Every thought seems to come with a worry by default.” Cole looked all around the room, hoping to hell this was not about to become his future. The doctor still hadn’t come in to talk to him, and it was making him crazy. If he was dying, he just wanted to know so he could put his jeans and boots on and head back to the ranch, where he could at least keel over with a glass of bourbon in his hand while he sat out on the back terrace and watched the sun set. That was the way to go, not sitting in a mechanical bed wearing a sheet that opened in the back.
“Dani seems really worried, too.”
“She does?” Cole couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. “Tell me what she said.”
Sam reared his head back and bugged his eyes. “I already told you. She didn’t want you to be by yourself.”
That wasn’t enough to keep Cole going. That concern could certainly come accompanied with the sentiment that she never wanted to see him again. “Did she say what was going on with the boys? Are they okay?”
Sam shook his head. “She didn’t say. And that was actually just a guess on my part. I think she said she needed to get home.”
Now Cole felt even worse. Maybe Dani had simply wanted to get as far away from him as possible.
Just then there was a knock at the door and Dr. Lee came in with an entire team of people in white coats. Cole’s stomach felt like it was down at his feet. Why would he need an army of doctors except to tell Cole that he was a goner?
“Mr. Sullivan, I brought a few of the residents with me today. I hope that’s okay. If you prefer, they can wait out in the hall, but this is a teaching hospital. It’s part of what we do.”
Great. Cole had spent six years not wanting to share this with the woman he loved. Now he had to share it with strangers. It didn’t really matter, though. He’d already lost all sense of privacy, courtesy of the hospital gown. “Yeah. It’s fine. Just tell me how long I have so I can get out of here. No offense, but I’m not a huge fan of this place.”
Dr. Lee raised both eyebrows at Cole. “I hate to disappoint you, but you have exactly as long today as you did the day we last ran a scan. The glioma hasn’t changed. At all.”
Cole sat there for at least fifteen seconds, staring. Blinking. “Then why did I get that headache?” It had been the worst pain he’d ever endured, far more excruciating than broken ribs.
“I don’t know. Could be any number of things. Stress is the most likely. You’d said you were on an airplane when it started, so the change in altitude could’ve built up pressure.”
“So now what? More tests?”
“I’m on the fence, to be honest. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to formally admit you and monitor you until tomorrow morning.”
“What would that entail?”
“You sitting in that bed and the nurse checking on you every two hours.”
Cole threw back the covers. “How about I just call you if the headache comes back?”
Dr. Lee stepped forward and held up a hand. “Hold on a minute. Are you really that anxious to get out of here?”
Cole nearly laughed. “Yes. I am.” I’ve got a woman I need to talk to.
Dr. Lee pressed his lips into a thin line. “Okay. We will release you. Plus you have to promise me you will call me the instant you get a headache this bad again.”
Cole held up his hand. “I promise.”
“You’re still going to need to wait for the paperwork to clear. Which could take a few hours.”
Hospital bureaucracy—Cole hated it. But he did need to look on the bright side. The glioma hadn’t changed. It hadn’t grown. In six years, nothing inside his head had changed. But in less than two weeks, Dani had not only turned around his thinking, she’d gotten his heart beating again. She’d reminded him just how badly he wanted to be here. She’d shown him how good it was to be alive. Especially when you have someone to love.
“I’ll have the nurses get your paperwork going. Plan on coming to see me during clinic hours in six months or so. I’ll have them send you an appointment reminder. And call me if anything changes.”
With that, the doctor and crew left, meaning Sam and Cole were now alone.
“That’s good news, buddy,” Sam declared, rising up out of his seat. “Now you just need to get the rest of your life straightened out.”
“What exactly is that supposed to mean?”
“I asked Dani if you two were back together.”
Cole sometimes couldn’t believe his brother’s willingness to say or ask anything, but today, he was glad for it. “And what did she say?”
“She said she wasn’t sure. She said you had some things to work out.”
A heavy sigh left Cole’s lips. “I need to finish telling her everything about our breakup. What I was thinking. I need to explain myself. I hardly got it out of my mouth before they whisked me out the door.”
“Only she can say what her reaction will be, but judging by my conversation with her, I’d say she’ll definitely listen.”
“Well, that’s something.” Cole sat back, trying not to play out the conversation in his head. These things weren’t always predictable with Dani.
“I’m sensing there’s something else that’s still bothering you.”
Cole didn’t know how to bring up this subject with Sam, so he certainly wasn’t ready to do so with Dani. Maybe simply talking about it would help him sort this out a bit in his head. “I want to talk to her about her boys. Cameron and Colin.” Just saying their names made for this tug right in the center of his chest.
“What about them, exactly?”
Cole realized how crazy this was going to sound. “Have you noticed how much they look like me? Especially Colin.”
“I’ve only seen them for a few minutes the day you had them over to swim in the pool. But yes, it did make me wonder. She hasn’t told you who their father is?”
“No. And I haven’t asked. She’s a single mom. It’s incredibly insensitive.”
“Of course. There’s no good way to bring it up.”
“Exactly.” At least Sam seemed to understand how he was feeling. “But there’s this feeling in my gut that says they’re my boys. I have to know. I just need to know if I’m off base.”
“Will that change the way you feel about Dani? Could you forgive a woman for keeping your children a secret for that long?”
Cole ran his hands through his hair and looked his brother square in the eye. “I don’t want to waste any more time in my life, Sam. I have to forgive her. My heart won’t survive it if we can’t find a way to make it work. One half of that job is mine, which means I have to forgive.”
“And how will you feel if they aren’t yours?”
Cole shrugged. “Honestly? I don’t know if it would make a lick of difference. I’d still adore them. I’d still want to be in their lives.”
Sam grinned sideways. “You know, I watched you that day in the pool with the boys. You were having so much fun. And I’ve seen you with Dani, It’s like you didn’t skip a beat. If ever there was a family just waiting to be put together, it’s the four of you.”
Cole smiled and nodded slowly, looking out the window of his room. Another beautiful, sunny day in Royal—clear blue sky and a few fluffy clouds. It was the perfect day for turning life around. And now that he’d had the chance to talk out his feelings with Sam, he felt all the more ready to do the same with Dani. Everything else he’d have to put in her hands.
Cole changed into his regular clothes while Sam went outside to make a phone call. Once the paperwork was complete and Cole got the all clear, Sam insisted on driving him straight out to the ranch. “I don’t feel great about you driving yet. We can get your truck from Dani’s later,” he’d said. As soon as he dropped Cole off at the main house, he left. “I need to check on some things in the barn. I’ll see you later.”
Cole headed straight upstairs and immediately climbed into the shower to wash off that hospital smell and hopefully start to feel a bit more human. With a clean pair of jeans and T-shirt, and his mind mostly straight, he knew he had to reach out to Dani. Maybe she could come over tonight so they could talk. It might take hours, but they had to arrive at some understanding. He hoped like hell that at the end of all of it, they concluded that they should be together. He wasn’t sure he could handle the heartbreak of the alternative.
He bounded downstairs in search of his cell phone, which he’d left on the kitchen counter. As soon as he pressed Dani’s number, he could’ve sworn he heard laughter, and not just any laughter. Kids. The boys. He walked into the living room with the phone pressed to his ear. The call was still ringing as he opened the front door. The boys made a beeline for his front steps. He hadn’t imagined this. This was real.
“Hello?” Dani said into the phone, a tentative grin on her face as she climbed out of the minivan. “I was hoping we could talk.”
“Good. Me, too,” he answered.
“I’ll hang up now.” She closed the driver’s side door and started heading for him, but he couldn’t get a handle on what she was thinking. There was part of him that still worried she was here to tell him she just couldn’t get past everything he’d kept from her. “How are you feeling?”
“A lot better now that you’re here.” Cole was slow to tuck his phone into his pocket, even after she’d hung up. He didn’t want to risk wasting a second of their conversation, even when the boys were now hanging on him, tugging on his shirt and begging to go see Gentry.
Dani arrived at the base of the staircase. The late-afternoon sun lit up the side of her face, making her somehow even more beautiful than usual. “Do you have some time for me?”
“Always.” Out of the corner of his eye, Cole saw Sam walking out of the stable and heading for the house. Cole crouched down. “Hey, Colin and Cameron, your mom and I have something to talk about. Do you want to spend some time with Sam and see how the new foal is doing? She still doesn’t have a name yet. I was hoping you two could think of one.”
The boys turned and saw Sam, then tore off down the stairs. Cole followed them. “I’ll be right back,” he said to Dani, then caught up with his brother. “Do you mind taking the boys to see the foal? I was thinking that they might be able to give her a name.”
Sam swiped his sunglasses from his face. “Time to straighten things out with their mom?”
“You know it. This could take a while. I’ve got a lot to apologize for.”
Sam clapped his brother on the back. “You need to stop being so hard on yourself.”
“A man messes up, he needs to take responsibility.”
“True. You did mess up.” Sam glanced behind him. The boys were waiting patiently at the stable doors. “I’d better go catch up with those two.”
“Thank you.” Cole watched as his brother sidled down to Cameron and Colin. He felt a tug on his heart just looking at those boys. They were his. He knew it. But he sure as heck wanted to hear Dani say it.
He turned back to the house and there Dani was, sitting on the top step of the porch. The breeze blew her glossy dark hair from her shoulders, and the sun was now lighting up the other side of her beautiful face. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want this to be his entire life—Dani and the boys, on the ranch. It was all he wanted.
Dani stood when she spotted him heading back. She spoke as soon as he was within spitting distance. “I don’t care what you’re facing, Cole. I don’t care what’s going on. I’m here for you.”
He climbed the stairs, stopping on the step below her. “I appreciate that. A lot.” Even though that made him feel a bit better, his heart was still pounding in his chest.
“I won’t let you push me away again. No matter what the doctor told you today.”
He managed a bit of a smile. In the midst of all this turmoil, he’d gotten good news. “The glioma hasn’t changed. They think the headache was brought on by stress and the pressure changes in the plane.”
Dani let out a huge exhale and pressed her hand to her chest. “Oh, thank God. I’m so relieved to hear that.”
She peered up into his eyes and took his hand. “And I have something that I need to tell you. Something I should have told you a long time ago that I don’t want to keep inside anymore. Colin and Cameron are your sons.”
He scanned her face as she waited for his response. She was so nervous and uncertain it nearly broke his heart. “They’re mine? Really?” He couldn’t have disguised the excitement in his voice if he’d wanted to. He’d been unprepared for how good it was going to feel to get this news.
She unleashed a relieved smile. “I never should’ve kept that from you, and I’m sorry. But I was sure you wanted nothing to do with me, ever.”
Cole let her words wash over him, soaking them up. This was confirmation that he had no more time to waste. There was a whole lot of life waiting for him, and he didn’t want to spend another minute of it worrying about what might be. “The glioma is why I ended things. Every minute you spent taking care of me felt like confirmation that you deserved a long life with someone who could give that to you. I couldn’t promise you that I would be around.”
Dani’s eyes were so soft and caring. It was like he could see how big her heart was. “So what’s the prognosis now?” She sat back down on the top step and Cole joined her, taking her hand.
He launched into the technical side of his condition, or at least the parts he could remember. “I still feel a little bit like a ticking time bomb, but Sam and I had a good talk at the hospital. I’m sorry I didn’t have the chance to tell you more before they whisked me off for my MRI. Everything happened so fast.”
“It’s okay. I understand so much more now. You were in an incredibly tight spot.” There were tears in her eyes when she looked at him. “And I’m so sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell me. That’s why you told me there was another woman, isn’t it? That’s why you didn’t answer my letter.”
He squeezed her hand tightly. “I need you to know that both of those things were hard for me. Very hard. I thought it was for your own good.”
“You can do some really stupid things, Cole Sullivan.” She added a sweet smile, just to let him know she was giving him a hard time for fun.
“Yeah. I realize that now. Being protective isn’t always my best quality.”
“No. I think it’s one of your best.” Dani cast her sights off in the distance, holding on to his hand just as tightly he was holding on to hers. In that single touch he knew exactly how badly they needed each other. “I came close to telling you about the boys when I wrote that letter. That might’ve changed everything.”
“It absolutely would’ve changed everything. Why didn’t you?”
“Because I wanted you to want to be with me out of love, not because you felt obligated.”
“I never stopped loving you, Dani. And it would’ve been impossible for me to not feel obligated. Even if we didn’t work out, I still would’ve been their daddy.”
She nodded. “I can see now that it wasn’t the right call, but at the time, I couldn’t see another way. Those boys are the best thing that has ever happened to me, but they’ve also been my greatest trial.”
The thought of Dani doing the work of both parents for all these years made it hard for Cole to get past the lump in his throat. Talk about his male ego getting in the way—he really hated the thought of not living up to his responsibilities, even if he hadn’t known they’d existed. Regardless of how things played out with Dani, he had a lot to make up for. “Because you were raising them on your own.”
“Well, there’s that, but that’s not the real reason. It’s been hard because I had to look into their eyes every day and see the face of the man I loved. It was like being haunted by the ghost of Cole Sullivan.”
Cole had to laugh, but it wasn’t funny. This was something born out of deep frustration with himself. “I think I’ve been living with that same ghost. I was so sure I was going to die that I think I stopped living. But that all changed the night you showed up on this porch in that ridiculously sexy red dress. It was like you brought me back to life that night.”
“I turned you down that night. And I called you a mistake.”
“Sometimes it’s the cruelest things that remind you you’re alive.” He turned to her, studying her sweet face and those tempting lips. He couldn’t wait another second to kiss her. He wanted to start their new chapter right here and right now. “But for right now, I’d like to go for a good reminder that I’m still here.”