CHAPTER 2
After I pull myself together, I head back to my room to change. Something feels off, but I can’t tell what. I glance around and everything looks the same. It’s just the raccoon, I think to myself. He probably got in here and moved some things. Ignoring the ice swirling in my stomach, I go to my laundry basket and heft it onto the bed. I’m still trying to find my favorite pair of panties. I dig through the basket, but they don’t turn up. The dryer doesn’t eat expensive panties. I’m usually so careful with them and I cannot imagine what I’ve done with them.
Annoyed, I suck in a gasp of air and sit down hard on the bed, letting the cold, damp, sweater I’m wearing to slouch down a little bit. The window is closed. Sunlight pours into the room through the slats in the mini blinds. I pull my hair out of the towel. I take a second to figure out what else to wear, when I look up.
Across the room is my dresser. It’s old, a hand-me-down, and the top is covered in make-up, blush brushes, and lip sticks that I didn’t put away. A square mirror with a chipped edge hangs above the dresser. Scrawled across the glass in bright red lipstick is a single word.
WHORE.
Every nerve in my body is already frayed. Seeing this makes me come apart. I feel myself unraveling bit by bit and I can’t stop it. My heart climbs into my throat, pounding wildly. My jaw drops open as I stand and walk toward the piece of glass.
I glance around again, but no one is here. I’m alone. There is no other sign that someone has been in my room. I touch my fingers to the cold pane, touching the W with my index finger. It’s written in lipstick, my favorite cherry red lipstick. It’s the one that I like to wear on dates. Shaking, I yank my hand back from the mirror like I’ve been burned.
Someone was here. It wasn’t my imagination. It wasn’t a raccoon that freaked me out. Someone had stood outside my bathroom door and then come in here.
Frantic, I dress, pulling on jeans and a tank top. Fear slices me into little bits, making my mind freeze up and not work. The only thing I can think is to ask James if he saw someone leave my apartment. I walk outside, run next door, and bang on his front door too hard. His mother appears. She has bright red hair that’s pulled away from her face with combs. A spattering of freckles line her pale cheeks. Her name is Gabby.
“Is James around?” I ask, breathing I little too hard.
Gabby’s arms fold over her chest, “What’d he do?”
“Nothing,” I shake my head. “Well, actually, he helped me get a raccoon out of my apartment earlier. I wanted to ask him if he saw something.”
The square of Gabby’s shoulders soften and she turns, bellowing for her son over her shoulder. “Thank God that’s all you had to say. I thought you were going to tell me he knocked you up or something.” She shakes her head and turns away from the door, leaving me on the porch alone.
I ignore her statement, which should have irked me, and glance up and down the street. It’s filled with people. No raccoons. No one wearing a sign that says STALKER.
James appears at the door. I step back to let him out and he walks onto the porch. “What’s up?” he asks, pushing his hands into his pockets. “More rodent problems?”
I shake my head. I can’t look him in the eye. Something creeps down my back and suddenly, I wonder if it was him—if this kid has been the one watching me, following me. I glance up at him, and think I’m insane. James is a good kid. “I think someone was in my apartment right before you came in. Any chance you saw someone come out when I started screaming?”
James’s eyes flick to the side like he’s remembering. His hand touches his jaw, but he shakes his head. “No, just the scream. And your door was locked when I got there. I would have come in if it wasn’t. I thought someone was hurting you.”
I nod slowly, my hope sinking into my stomach. “Oh, okay.” I turn to walk back. I feel the mental fog thicken. I don’t know what to do.
James says, “What’s the matter? Why do you think someone was inside?” I can’t answer him. I don’t want to admit it, because that will make it real. Right now it’s an abstract idea, but if I say it… Oh God. I wrap my arms around my middle and turn off the steps. I start to walk away when James calls after me, “Hey, wait a second.” He follows me back to my door, asking questions that I can’t answer. Finally, he says, “Are you all right, Miss Lamore?”
No, I’m not all right, but what am I supposed to say? He’s a kid. I don’t want to burden him with this, and if I say another word, the tears I’m holding back will spill down my cheeks. James looks at me, waiting for an answer.
I glance at him, and force a smile. “Anna, call me Anna. I’m not that much older than you. Thanks for helping earlier.” James nods slowly, like I might say something else, but I don’t. He turns to walk away and I go back into my apartment.
I shut the door behind me and flip the deadbolt lock even though its daylight. My throat is so tight and dry that I can’t swallow. Hysteria pushes its way through my veins. I want to get out of here and never come back.
I go back to my room, find my phone, and press in the numbers for Emma. I have to tell her even if I don’t want to. If she comes back here alone and something happens to her, I’ll never forgive myself. Em’s voicemail picks up, since she’s still at work.
I try to say it briefly, but as I’m talking, I think that I sound way too scared for what happened. So someone wrote something nasty on my mirror?
Someone was in your apartment, Anna! My mind snaps back. Shaking my head, I change the reason for the call and tell her a raccoon got in and to be careful when she gets home. I hang up and tap my phone. For some reason, I can’t say it. I can’t admit what happened, yet. At the same time, I don’t want her walking in here at night, alone. I have to do something.
I call his number without thinking. He picks up on the second ring. “Edward?”
His voice sounds surprised, “Anna? What’s going on?”
“Any chance you could come over later? I have an appointment and I don’t want Em alone here.”
He asks what happened. I tell him about the raccoon, and that I’m a little on edge. I don’t know where it came from and the more I think about it, the less likely it seems that it came down the chimney. I wonder if the perv threw it in the apartment when he came in. I fall silent and Edward says something, but I don’t respond. I blink, looking at my mirror.
“I’ll head over now, okay? You sound out of sorts.” I start to protest, but he’s gone. I look at my phone and the screen’s gone black.
I run to the kitchen and get the Windex. I scrub away the letters before anyone else can see them. I pick up my make-up and put it away, but one tube of lipstick is missing. The one that was used to write on the mirror is gone. I can’t think about it. I need Cole. My mind feels like its floating in glue and doesn’t want to think. My thoughts are sluggish. The shakes calm down to a small tremor. I fold my arms over my chest to hide it.
I pace the apartment, looking for signs of entry, but there is nothing. Just the hole in the old chimney. That fireplace was part of the reason why we chose this apartment. Although it doesn’t work, the hearth is really cute. I stare at the busted up wood and the door buzzes.
I check to make sure it’s Edward first, and then let him in. His dark hair is wet like he just took a shower. He’s wearing jeans with a cream colored shirt that’s tucked in neatly at his waist. He looks me over once. “What’s the matter?”
His question makes me want to cry, but I can’t say it. It sounds stupid. I’m crying because there was a nasty word on my mirror. I’m crying because I’m not a whore, but someone thinks I am. Biting my bottom lip, I shake my head and don’t look him in the eye. “Nothing’s wrong, just frazzled. That raccoon scared the hell out of me. I need to finish getting ready. Maybe you can seal up the fireplace? It looks like he came in that way.” Lies, lies, lies. The pit of my stomach twists. I hate lying.
Edward nods and walks away from me, into the living room. I return to my bedroom and feel a little bit better since I’m not alone. I hear Edward moving things and then the sound of wood snapping as he cleans up.
I pull the heated flat iron through my hair, careful not to burn myself. When I finish, I look like a different person. I put on a different outfit than I originally intended. I grab a pair of black leather pants and a tight tank. I put my make-up on darker than usual, trying to hide the fear in my eyes. I don’t want this to ruin my night with Cole. He already has too much on his plate, and in comparison, this seems silly.
Edward wraps his knuckles on my open door. He stands in the open doorway watching me as I apply a coat of mascara. “It’s boarded up.”
“Thanks,” I say, trying not to stab myself in the eye. I hold the wand and glance at him, “Do you mind hanging out until Emma gets here?” I look at the mirror and carefully brush my lashes with the black goop. My hand shakes slightly. I rest it on the dresser and take a breath. Why can’t I calm down?
Edward leans against the door frame and folds his arms over his chest. I can tell that he isn’t going to cooperate unless he knows what’s going on. “What’s this about, Anna? I can tell something’s bothering you. Just tell me. Maybe I can fix it.” His eyes burn a hole in the side of my face. He hated it when I wore makeup when we were dating. He likes that au natural thing going on.
“I don’t want to get into it now, Edward.” I finish and put the make up back in my drawer. I turn to him and say, “Please, do this?”
Edward nods once, but his eyes don’t leave mine. I feel a chill work its way through my body. He never had sex with me and he’s watching me get dressed to have sex with someone else. The way he looks me over makes me nervous, but then again, everything makes me nervous right now. I go to brush past him, when he gently takes me by the elbow and stops me. I turn toward him.
“You’d tell me if you were in trouble, right?” he asks. “We may not be lovers anymore, but I hope you still think of me as a friend.”
Breathing slowly, I feel his fingers on my arm. The contact feels wrong. I turn toward him so his fingers slip away. I want to say that we were never lovers, but I know where he wants this conversation to go, and I don’t want to rehash the past. I want to get to Cole and stay with him until all my apprehension fades away.
I smile and say, “Of course, I do. Like you even need to ask that, Edward? I could have called anyone, but I called you.”
I walk down the hall and grab my helmet. Strapping it under my chin quickly, I grab my keys. Edward speaks as I get ready to go. His eyes are downcast, making him look vulnerable. “You only called me because I’m Em’s brother. If it was just you here, alone, we both know who you would have called.” He means Cole.
“But I didn’t. I called you. You’re here now. And I could have called him anyway, but I didn’t.”
Edward looks at me funny, his head tilting slightly, “You didn’t tell him?”
“Tell him what? That a rabid animal tried to take a bath with me? No. It seems more embarrassing than anything.”
“What else happened, Anna? I can see it in your eyes.” He steps towards me and my heart ricochets off my ribs. I can’t talk about it. I squirm away from him.
“Someone got in, okay. I don’t want to talk about it, but I can’t let Emma come home and find a pervert in her room.”
“Someone broke in?” he asks, his eyes narrowing as he shakes his head. “Anna, did you call the cops?” I shake my head. Edward looks at me, things finally clicking into place. “You didn’t tell anyone, did you?”
“I told you,” I bit back. It feels like I ate a can of nails. I can’t stand the way he’s looking at me. I can’t stand the way I feel, like my heart is going to explode at any moment. Just talking about it makes everything worse. “Just watch out for Em.” I turn toward the door and place my hand on the knob.
Edward shakes his head and follows me to the door. “Fine, fine,” he says reassuringly. “I’ll be here when Em gets home, but I’ve got to tell you that you’re a real piece of work.”
“Right back at ya.”