Chapter One
“I JUST CAN’T believe that Jamie’s the first one to get married. I mean, Jamie? He never even wanted to get married.” Amy Maples was three sheets to the wind, sitting in a bar at the Ryder Resort in Boston. That was okay, she rationalized, because it was the night before the wedding of her good friends Jessica Ayers and Jamie Reed, and she and her friends were celebrating. Besides, now that Jessica and Jamie were getting married and her other three besties had gotten engaged, Amy was the only single woman of the group. Drunk was the only way she was going to make it through the weekend.
“But that was before he met Jessica and she rocked his world.” Jenna leaned across the table in the dimly lit bar and grabbed Amy’s hand.
Amy saw Jenna’s lips curve into a smile as she shifted her eyes to Tony Black, another friend they’d known forever, sitting with his arm around Amy, as per usual. Jenna raised her brows with a smile, implying something Amy knew wasn’t true. She rolled her eyes in response. Tony always sat with his arm around her, and it didn’t mean a thing, no matter how much she wished it did.
Amy and her besties, Jenna Ward, Bella Abbascia, and Leanna Bray, had grown up spending summers together at the Seaside community in Wellfleet, Massachusetts, and to this day they continued to spend their summers there, along with Jamie and Tony. The six of them had spent eight weeks together every summer for as long as Amy could remember. Their parents had owned the Seaside cottages, which they’d passed down to them. Summers were Amy’s favorite time of year. Now that Amy’s company, Maples Logistical & Conference Consulting, was so successful, she was able to take eight weeks off while her small staff handled the workload. Amy had spent seven years building and nurturing the business, and over the last three years she had turned it into a six-figure venture with clients varying from accounting to full-on logistical consulting. She could hardly believe how her life, and her summers, had changed. Just four years ago she was working part-time during the summers at one of the local restaurants to keep a modicum of income coming in. She loved summers even more now that she didn’t have to work. Of course, her love of summers might also have something to do with being in love with the six-foot-two professional surfer and motivational speaker currently sitting beside her.
If only it were reciprocated. She tipped back her glass and took another swig of her get-over-Tony drink.
“Petey, can you please get me another drink?” Jenna batted her lashes at her fiancé, Pete Lacroux. She and Pete had gotten engaged last year. Pete was a boat craftsman and he also handled the pool maintenance at Seaside. Pete nuzzled against her neck, and Amy slid her eyes away. Maybe if Sky, Pete’s sister, were there, she’d feel a little better. Sky wasn’t currently dating anyone either, but Sky had to work, so Amy was on her own.
Bella and her fiancé, Caden Grant, were whispering nose to nose, Leanna was sitting on Kurt’s lap with her forehead touching his, and Jamie and Jessica were looking at each other like they couldn’t wait to tear each other’s clothes off. Amy stole a glance at Tony, and her heart did a little dance. Delicious and painful memories from the summer before college tried to edge into her mind. As she’d done for the past fourteen years, she pushed them down deep as Tony leaned in close.
He smelled delicious, like citrus and spice with an undertone of masculinity and sophistication. She knew he wore Dolce & Gabbana’s The One. She kept a bottle of The One beside her bed at home in Boston, and every once in a while, in the dead of winter or on the cusp of spring, when months stretched like eons before she’d see Tony again, she’d spray the cologne on her pillow so she could smell him as she drifted off to sleep. It never smelled quite as good as Tony himself. Then again, Tony could be covered in sweat after a five-mile run, or laden with sea salt after a day of surfing, and he’d still smell like heaven on legs. Since they were just friends, and it looked like there was no chance of them becoming more, she relied on her fantasies to keep her warm. When she was alone in bed at night, she held on to the image of Tony wearing only his board shorts, his broad shoulders and muscular chest glistening wet, muscles primed from the surf, and those delicious abs blazing a path to his—
Tony pressed his hand to her shoulder and pulled her against him, bringing her mind back to the present.
“Time for ice water?” he asked just above a whisper.
So much for her fantasy. She was always the good girl who did the right thing, the only exception being the occasional extra drink or two when she was with her Seaside friends. At least that’s what she led everyone to believe. Only she and Tony knew that wasn’t the only exception—and she made sure that was a taboo subject between them. He wouldn’t dare bring it up. She might not survive if he did. She sobered a little with the memory and shifted it back into the it-never-happened place she buried deep inside her. Her secret was lonely in that hollow place, being the only one kept under lock and key.
She met Tony’s denim-blue eyes and felt a familiar rush of anticipation in her belly. Maybe tonight she wouldn’t be the good girl.
“Um, actually, I think I want another drink.”
Tony arched a brow in that sexy way that made his eyes look even more intense. He pressed his cheek to hers and whispered, “Ames, you can’t show up for the wedding tomorrow with a hangover.”
No, she certainly couldn’t. But she’d like him to stay right where he was for a while longer, thank you very much. Since she had a life-changing job offer in hand—a dream job worthy of closing down the business she’d spent seven years building and keeping only a handful of clients—she and her girlfriends had decided it was time for Amy to take a chance and lay her feelings on the line with Tony. She picked up her glass and ran her finger around the rim, hoping she looked sexy doing it. Then she sucked that finger into her mouth, feeling a little silly.
I suck at this whole seduction thing.
“I’m a big girl, Tony. I think I know what I can handle.” And I don’t want to handle my liquor tonight. I have plans. Big plans.
Tony rose to his feet with a perturbed look on his face and rubbed his stubbly jaw. “You sure?”
“Mm-hmm.” Even as she said it, she considered saying, Water’s good. Just get me water. She watched him walk up to the bar. At heart, Amy was a good girl. Her courage faltered and she tried to hang on to a shred of it. She needed to know if there was even the slightest chance that she and Tony might end up together. The problem was, she wasn’t a seductress. She didn’t even know where to begin. That was Jenna’s forte, with her hourglass figure and sassy personality. Even Bella, who was as brash as she was loving, had pulled off being seductive with Caden. The sexy-kitten pictures on Amy’s pajamas were more seductive than she was.
“Oh my gosh. I thought he’d never leave.” Jenna glanced at Caden, Kurt, and Jamie, still enthralled with their fiancées at the other end of the table. She pulled Amy across the table and whispered, “This is your night. I can feel it!” She sat back and swayed to the music in her tight green spaghetti-strap dress with a neckline cut so low Pete could probably get lost in there.
Amy looked down at the slinky black dress the girls had put her in earlier that evening. They were always trying to tart her up. One look at you in this dress with these sky-high heels and Tony’s gonna be all over you, Jenna had said while Jessica and Bella shimmied the dress down Amy’s pin-thin body. Fits like a glove. A sexy, slither-me-out-of-this glove, Leanna had added. They’d pushed her into a chair, plied her with wine, and sometime later—Amy had no idea how long, because the alcohol had not only made her body go all loose and soft, but it had turned her brain to mush—they were in the bar with the men, and with her friends’ confidence, she’d actually begun to believe that she might be able to pull off being übersexy for a night. Her mind might be foggy, but she’d caught a few words while the girls primped her into a hot, racy woman she didn’t recognize. Her friends had thrown out words like sexy, hot, take him as if they were handing out doses of confidence.
Now she tugged at the hemline of the dress that barely covered the thong they’d also bought for her and insisted she wear. She wiggled in her seat, uncomfortable in the lacy butt floss. She should probably give up even trying and just let the new job change her life. Move to Australia, where she’d be too far for any relationship with Tony, and be done with it, but every time she looked at Tony, her stomach got all fluttery. It had done that since she was six years old, so she was pretty sure it wasn’t going to change.
Caden, Pete, Jamie, and Kurt must have taken Jenna’s whispers and hot stares as a cue, because they headed up to the bar, and Jessica, Bella, and Leanna scooted closer to Amy and Jenna.
“How about you put those puppies away before the guys over at that table drool into their drinks,” Leanna said to Jenna while glaring at the three handsome, leering men sitting at the next table. They finally looked away when Bella shot them a threatening stare.
Jenna wrestled her boobs into submission with an annoyed look on her face. She always acted annoyed about her boobs, but Amy knew it was a love-hate annoyance. Jenna wouldn’t be Jenna without her boobs always trying to break free.
“Look at our men up there at the bar.” Bella wiggled her fingers at Caden. “Pete has his eyes on the drooling men. Kurt and Jamie are eyeing Leanna and Jessica like they’re on the menu, and Tony…”
“Your men,” Amy corrected her. “Tony’s not mine, and he looks mad, doesn’t he?”
“Sexually frustrated, maybe. Not mad.” Bella took a sip of her drink. “But you’ll fix that tonight. I mean, be real, Amy. Who tells a girl to behave and be careful whenever she goes out if he’s not interested? Why would he care? And not just that—he always adds that you can text him if you need him and he’ll come running. Just. Like. Always.”
Amy couldn’t stop the exasperated sound that left her lips. “You read my texts?” That was the only way she could have known that Tony always offered to be there if she needed him.
“Duh. Of course I did. Consider it a recon mission. I had to know what we were dealing with here from his side.” Bella had been pulling for Amy and Tony to get together as long as Amy had been in love with him, which was just about forever. She stood and dragged Amy toward the dance floor. “Come on, sweetie. Time to have some fun.”
The other girls jumped up and followed them. Amy sensed Tony’s eyes on her before she caught sight of him watching them. It made her nervous and excited at once. The music blared with a fast beat. Amy’s head was spinning from the alcohol, and as Bella and Jenna dirty danced up and down her body, gyrating with their hands in the air, Amy tried to ignore the rush of anticipation mixing with nervous energy inside her. Leanna and Jessica danced beside them in a far less evocative fashion that was more Amy’s speed, but she could no sooner disengage from being the target of Jenna’s and Bella’s sexy dancing than she could ignore Tony as he moved to the edge of the dance floor. His eyes raked slowly down her body, making her insides twist in delight. His jaw muscles bunched as he slid his eyes around the bar and leveled the leering men at the table a few feet away with a dark stare.
The sexy dancing, the alcohol, and the way Tony was guarding her like she was a precious treasure—his precious treasure?—boosted her confidence. Amy rocked her hips to the beat. She closed her eyes, lifted her hands above her head, and let the music carry her into what she hoped was a plethora of tempting moves.
“You go, girlfriend,” Jenna encouraged her. “He’s not going to be able to resist you. You’re drunk, sexy, and ready for action. What man could resist that?” She wiggled her butt against Amy’s hips.
“Oh, please. He’ll probably never reciprocate my feelings, which is why I’m seriously considering the job offer from Duke Ryder.” Never again, anyway. Her chest tightened with the thought.
“No, you are not.” Bella’s eyes widened as she froze and pointed her finger at Amy, right there in the middle of the dance floor. “You are not going to move to Australia for two years. You’ll never come back to Seaside in the summers if you’re in Australia. Can’t you tell Duke you’ll consider nine months out of the year instead of twelve?”
Duke Ryder was a real-estate investor who owned more than a hundred properties throughout the world. He was also Blue and Jake’s older brother. Blue Ryder was a specialty carpenter who had renovated Kurt and Leanna’s cottage and built an art studio for Jenna and Pete. He’d since become one of the gang and hung out with them often. Jake was an Army Ranger and mountain-rescue specialist. Amy had dated Jake briefly last summer, but he was younger and too wild for her. And…he wasn’t Tony.
“No, I can’t,” Amy answered. “It’s a full-time position heading up the creation of the new Ryder Conference Center. The conference center is going to be the focus of international meetings with major corporations. I think I need to be on-site full-time.” Amy had worked with Duke on a consulting basis for several years. When Jessica and Jamie had said they were getting married at the Ryder Resort in Boston, Amy had jumped at the chance to help plan the event and work with Duke and his staff again. Amy had known that Duke was negotiating on a property in Australia, but she hadn’t realized he’d sealed the deal until she’d arrived at the resort two days ago and he’d offered her a full-time job as director of operations for the Conference Division Center. She’d never been to Australia, and between all of her friends getting engaged and summer after summer of wasted energy spent on a man who treated her more like an adoring brother than a potential love interest, she decided it was high time she made some changes in her life.
Amy tucked her straight blond hair behind her ears and moved her shoulders to the slow beat of the music. “I’m not sure being here for the summer is smart anyway. It’s like torturing myself.” She stopped dancing at the thought of not coming back to Seaside for the summers. Could she really do that? Would she even want to? Could she survive not seeing Tony even if she knew for sure he didn’t want her?
This was why she had to figure out her life and make a change. She was becoming pathetic.
She sensed Tony’s eyes on her again and forced her hips to find the beat as Bella and Leanna danced closer. “It might be time I move on,” she said more confidently than she felt.
“Move on from Tony?” Bella took her hand and dragged her back toward the table with the others on their heels.
Amy saw Tony’s eyes narrowing as they hurried past. Why was he so angry all of a sudden?
“He’s so into you, he won’t let you go.” Bella elbowed her as they took their seats. “He texts you almost every day.”
“Yeah, with stuff like, Won another competition and Check me out in Surfer Mag next month! He texts me when he’s going to miss an event at Seaside. He doesn’t text me because he misses me or wants to see me.” Tony had started texting her during the summers when they were teenagers, because Amy was the only one who checked her cell phone when they were at the Cape, and at some point, those summer texts had turned into a year-round connection. He’d stopped texting her for a few years when she was in college and he was building his surfing and speaking careers, although she knew the real reason he’d stopped, and it had nothing to do with either. After she’d graduated from college, he’d begun texting again. She hadn’t known why he started up again, and after having been without that connection for so long, she didn’t ask. She was just glad to have him back. Since then, she’d become his habit, but not exactly the type of habit she wanted to be.
“It’s not like what each of you have. I want that, what you have. I want a guy who says I’m the only woman for him and that he can’t live without me, like your guys say to you.” I want Tony to say that.
Seeing her girlfriends so much in love was what really drove home how lonely Amy had become over the past few summers.
“I think he takes care of you like you’re his. I mean, how many guys text to say they saw a kitty pajama top you’d look adorable in if they aren’t gay or interested?” Bella shifted her shoulders in a Yeah, that’s right way.
“I’m probably the only woman he knows who wears kitty pajamas. He was teasing me, not being flirty or boyfriendish.” Was he? No, he definitely wasn’t. There had been times when Amy had thought Tony was looking at her like he was interested in a more intimate way, but they were fleeting seconds, and they passed as quickly as he’d taken his next breath. She was probably seeing what she wanted to see, not what he really felt, and she’d begun to wonder if she’d really loved him for so long, or if he’d become her habit, too.
“You know, he’s never brought another woman to Seaside.” Leanna’s loose dark mane was wavy and tousled. With her golden tan and simple summer dress, she looked like she’d just come from the beach. Her gaze softened in a way that made Amy feel like she wanted to fall into Leanna’s arms and disappear. “And look how he treats you. He’s always got an arm around you, and when you drink too much at our barbecues, he always carries you home.”
Amy wanted to believe them and to see what they apparently saw when he looked at her, but she never had. It was the secret memories of being in Tony’s strong arms that long-ago summer, feeling his heart beat against hers, feeling safe and loved, that made her hopeful there would come a day when they’d find themselves there again. But then her mind would travel to the end of those recent nights when she’d had too much to drink and he’d carried her home. When he’d tucked her into bed and gone along his merry way back to his own cottage across the road, quickly dousing her hope for more with cold reality. Whatever they’d had that summer, she’d ruined.
“Exactly, Leanna. That’s why she’s not making a decision about Australia until after this weekend,” Jenna said. “Right, Ames?”
“Yes. That’s my plan. I’m going to talk to Tony, and if he looks me in the eye and says he has no interest in anything more than friendship, then I’m going to take the job. It’s pretty stupid, really, because how many times has he had the opportunity to…you know?” She dropped her eyes to her glass and ran her finger along the rim. Amy was as sweet as Bella was brash, and even thinking about trying to seduce Tony and finding out where his heart really stood had her stomach tied in knots. When her friends had come up with the idea of seducing Tony, she’d fought it, but they’d insisted that once he kissed her, he’d never look back, and she’d grabbed that shred of hope as if it were a brass ring. Now her fingers were slipping a little.
“Talk? That’s not the plan,” Jenna said.
Jessica shook her head. “So, seduction? You’re going to try?”
“If I can muster the courage.” Amy drew in a deep breath, hoping she wouldn’t back out. As much as she wanted closure, the idea of actually hearing Tony tell her that he didn’t see her as anything other than a friend made her almost chicken out. But she didn’t want to chicken out. She had a great job opportunity, and at thirty-two, she was ready to settle down and maybe even start a family. But that thought was even more painful than Tony turning her away.
Tony set a disconcerting stare on Amy as he moved confidently across the floor with the other guys, heading for their table. Her pulse ratcheted up a notch as his eyes went dark and narrow. She broke the connection, grazing over his low-slung jeans and short-sleeve button-down shirt, afraid to try to decipher if it was an angry or an interested look in his eyes. She’d probably see only what she really wanted to see anyway.
Big mistake. Now she was even more nervous.
Several women in the bar turned and watched the four gorgeous men crossing the floor, but Amy knew they had to be looking at Tony. She was held prisoner by his sun-drenched skin, sandy hair that brushed his devilishly long lashes, and squared-off features that amped up his ruggedness and made her pulse go a little crazy. She reached for a glass of liquid courage, having no idea whose it was, and drained it as Tony slid in beside her. His thigh met hers, and his irresistible scent made her hot all over again. She grabbed another glass and drained it, and another, until the glasses were all empty and the nervous stirrings in her stomach stilled.
“Since when did you become Beyoncé?” Tony grumbled.
Beyoncé? Was that good or bad? Amy couldn’t form an answer. All she could think about was that no matter what the outcome, after tonight her life would never be the same.
TONY HAD SPENT the last three hours watching men ogle Amy in that skimpy dress of hers. What was she thinking, dressing like that? He worried about her when she drank. She was too small to protect herself against unwanted advances, and she exuded sweetness like she was made of sugar, making her an easy target for a savvy guy. And he knew for a fact that Amy Maples was made of sugar—and spice and all things in between that were delicious and worthy of being savored. But that was a long time ago, and he’d spent years making sure Amy was treated as she deserved to be and putting his own desires on the back burner. Or trying to, anyway. He didn’t think anyone else noticed that he could barely hold himself together when it came to Amy, and he was grateful for that.
She was looking at him in a way that was reminiscent of that summer years ago, and he assumed it was caused by the far-too-many drinks she’d consumed. She never could hold her alcohol. He ran his hand through his hair and ground his teeth together. Maybe he’d take a walk back up to the bar to get away from the jerks watching her. He’d seen Pete stare them down when they were leering at Jenna, but Pete was Jenna’s fiancé. She was his to protect.
Well, he wasn’t Amy’s fiancé, but she needed protecting too.
She’s with Bella and the girls. They’ll protect her. He mulled that over for a minute or two. Bella and the girls. Yeah, they’d protect Amy. They were about as protective of Amy as he was, but the idea of moving from Amy’s side and having some jerk saunter over and hit on her messed with his mind. She was so darn beautiful and way too naive for her own good. One of her gorgeous smiles could stop a man cold, and she was clueless to that fact. It was so easy not to think about those things when they were in different states during the year, but summers? They were torture. And these last few summers, watching his summer friends fall in love, made this time with Amy even more difficult. But they’d crossed that line years ago, and not only had it not ended well, but Amy seemed to have moved on just fine, while Tony never really had.
He thought about all the summer nights since then that he’d spent checking up on her, making sure she got home safely. The summer she’d turned twenty-two and insisted on going out with that bonehead, Kevin Palish. Tony’d stalked his window that night until she’d arrived home safely. Normally he tried to ignore the Seaside gossip about who Amy was dating, and she seemed to keep guys away from the complex, as far as he could see, but a few summers ago she’d dated that other guy who came around more than a handful of times. What was his name? Mr. Tall, Dark, and Annoying? Tony had waited up every night for a week to make sure Amy got home okay—and to make sure the dude left shortly after dropping her off at her cottage. Not that it was any of his business or that he could have done anything about it if they’d spent the night together. That was the problem. It wasn’t his business. Luckily, Amy had come to her senses and broken up with the guy before Tony ever woke up to the guy’s truck in her driveway.
Amy wiggled in the seat beside him, tugging at that way-too-short dress. Her thigh pressed against his, and it suddenly got way too hot in there. He unbuttoned another button of his shirt and exhaled loudly, trying to talk himself out of going up to the bar. He should stay right there to ward off looks, like the one the dark-haired guy from the table of oglers was giving her. Amy smiled and fidgeted with the hem of her dress again. For the love of… Tony’s thoughts drifted to last summer when she’d dated bad-boy, mountain-rescuer, handsome-as-Brad-Freaking-Pitt Jake Ryder. Tony had seen all the women at the beach party eyeing Jake, and Amy had acted the same adorably nervous way around him. Jake was younger than Amy, too, which pissed Tony off even more, and he was friends with Jake. He actually liked the guy. But she needed a man, not a boy.
Enough already. If he couldn’t be the man she deserved, he could at least make sure no other guy treated her badly. He laced his fingers with hers and set their hands on her thigh.
“What?” Amy asked.
Tony nodded at the guy at the next table. “No need to flirt with a guy like that. He’ll only hurt you.”
“Then maybe you should take me back to my room.” She said it with wide, innocent eyes that tore right through him like lightning.
He rose to his feet and pulled Amy up with him.
“We’re calling it a night,” he said to their friends. He needed to get her to her room before she got herself into trouble—or before he got himself into trouble. “I’m going to walk Amy back to her hotel room. Jamie, Jessica, enjoy your last night of freedom.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Jamie rubbed noses with Jessica. “Who needs freedom? All I want is to wake up with Jessica in my arms for the rest of my life.”
Yeah, and all I want is to wake up with Amy in my arms.
He shifted his eyes to Amy, standing before him pink-cheeked, glassy-eyed, and sexier than anything in that skimpy little black number that looked painted on and high heels that did something amazing to her long, lean legs. He forced his eyes north, to the sleek line of her collarbone, which he wanted to trace with his tongue. Her hair fell over one of her heavy-lidded green eyes, giving her a sultry look that sent heat through his body. When she trapped her lower lip between her teeth, it took all his effort to force something other than, Man, you look hot, from his lips. Well…how was he supposed to resist her now?
She slid her arm around his waist and leaned her head against his chest.
“Okay, big guy. Take me home.”
If she only knew what those words coming from her while dressed in that outfit did to him. As he’d done for too many years to count, he bit back his desires and walked her back to her room. He pulled her room card from his pocket, and it dawned on him that he always carried Amy’s stuff. Her keys, her wallet, her phone. At some point, his pockets had become her pocketbook.
Tony held the door open for Amy and kept one hand on her hip as she walked unsteadily past him.
He closed the door and took in her hotel room. Standard upscale fare, it looked like his room, with a king-size bed, a long dresser and mirror, and a decent-size sitting area. Amy’s perfume and lotions were lined up neatly on the dresser, along with her birth control pills, which made his gut twist a little. He didn’t want to think about Amy having sex with anyone. Well, except maybe him, but—
“Hey.” Amy reeled around on him, stepping forward in those sky-high heels. He didn’t need to inhale to know that she smelled like warm vanilla, a scent that haunted him at night.
She wobbled a little, and instinct brought his hand to her waist. He’d held Amy in his arms a million times, comforting her when she was sad, carrying her when she was a little too drunk to be steady on her feet. He’d cared for her when she was sick and sat up with her after each of her girlfriends had fallen in love, when she simply couldn’t handle being alone. He had a feeling those nights were their little secrets, because he’d never heard Bella, Jenna, or Leanna ever make reference to them, and those girls talked about everything. Now, as she stepped closer and touched his stomach with one finger and looked at him like she had years ago, not like the sweet, too-good-to-be-true Amy that she never strayed from around him unless she was drinking, he found himself struggling to remain detached enough to keep his feelings in check.
He forced himself to act casual. “What’s up, Ames?”
She trapped that lower lip of hers again, and his body warmed.
Amy stumbled on her heels and caught herself against his chest. She slid her hands up the front of his shirt, and his body responded like Pavlov’s dog. Amy had that effect on him, but he’d always been good about keeping it under wraps. What was happening to him? Was it the romance of the impending wedding? Watching his best buddies whisper and nuzzle their fiancées while he had walls so thick around his heart that he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to move forward and love anyone else again?
She gazed up at him with naive curiosity in her eyes, and it was that innocence that threatened his steely resolve. It almost did him in every time they were alone together. Only this time she had the whole hips-swaying, chest-pushing-against-him thing going on.
He covered her hands with his and breathed deeply. With those heels, they were much closer in height. A bow of his head and he could finally taste her sweet mouth again.
With that selfish thought, he pressed her hands to his chest to keep them from roaming and to keep himself from becoming any more aroused. She gazed up at him, looking a little confused and so sexy it was all he could do to squelch his desire to take her in his arms and devour her.
“What do you need, Ames?”
“I’m pretty sure you know what I need,” she said in a husky voice as she pressed her hips to his.
You don’t mean that. You’re just drunk. He clenched his jaw against his mounting desire. She was all he’d ever wanted, and she was the one person he knew he should walk away from.
“Amy.”
“Tony.” Her voice was thin and shaky.
“You’re drunk.” He peeled her hands from his chest. She got like this when she was drunk: sultry, sexier, eager. As adults, she’d never taken it this far. She’d made innuendos over the years, but more in jest than anything else. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew Amy cared about him, but he also knew she sometimes forgot things. Important things. Life-altering events that were less painful if forgotten. He was certain it was why she drank when they were together and why he’d spent years protecting her. Not that she needed protecting often. Drinking was a summer thing for Amy, and really, she rarely drank too much. She didn’t drink when she wasn’t at the Cape. He knew this because over recent years, after Amy had graduated from college and settled into her business, he’d begun texting her more often. He’d been unable to ignore his need for a connection to her any longer. He could count on one hand how many times she’d made reference to drinking.
“I might be a little drunk.” Her sweet lips curved into a nervous smile. “But I think I know what you want.”
What I want and what I’ll let myself have are two very different things.
He exhaled, took her hand, and turned toward the bed. “Sit down and let me help you get out of your heels and then I’ll go back to my room. I don’t want you to break your ankle.”
She swayed on her heels and attached herself to his side again. “I don’t want you to go to your room.”
Tony stepped back. The back of his legs met the dresser. “Amy—”
“Tony,” she said huskily, taking him by surprise.
“Ames,” he whispered. She was killing him. Any other man would have silenced her with a kiss, carried her to the bed, pushed that sexy dress up to her neck, and given her what she wanted. But Tony had made a career out of resisting Amy, protecting her. He respected her too much to let her make a mistake she would only regret when she sobered up.
He gripped her forearms and held her at a safe distance.
She narrowed her eyes and reached for him.
For a breath he closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the feel of her touching him. Every muscle in his body corded tight as her hand slid down his chest. He reluctantly gripped her wrist.
“Amy, stop.” He’d learned his lesson with her when he was a teenager, and he was never letting either of them go back to that well of hurt. “We’re not doing this.”
The dark seductiveness that had filled her eyes when she was touching him was gone as quickly as it had appeared. Her shoulders rounded forward, and hurt filled her eyes.
“Why?”
He felt like a heel. An idiot. A guy who should have taken her to bed, if only to love her as she deserved to be loved. Even if she might not remember or appreciate it in the morning. He draped an arm over her shoulder and pulled her into a hug.
“Come on, Amy. You’re drunk and you won’t remember any of this tomorrow. Let me help you get ready for bed.”
“Don’t you want me?”
Her broken voice nearly did him in, and when her arms went limp, he tightened his grip on her. “Amy,” he whispered again.
In the space of a few seconds she pushed away from him, determination written in the tension around her mouth and the fisting of her hands.
“Tell me why you don’t want me. What is it? Am I too flat-chested? Too unattractive?”
“No.” You’re the sexiest woman I know. Anger felt so wrong coming from her that it momentarily numbed him.
“I know I suck at seduction, but don’t these take-me high heels or this stupid dress turn you on? Even a little?”
“Your take-me heels? Boy, you are drunk. You don’t realize what you’re saying. Come on.” He reached for her hand and she shrugged him off again.
“Come on, Amy. Let me help you.” Before I give in to what I really want and lay your vulnerable, gorgeous, sexy body down and devour you.
“So that’s it. I don’t turn you on.” She paced the room on wobbly ankles, looking like she was playing dress up in her mother’s high heels—and it did crazy things to Tony’s body. He followed beside her in case she stumbled, fighting the urge to give in and show her just how much she turned him on.
“Maybe if I had bigger boobs, or if I were better at acting sexy, or if I were smarter, you’d want me.”
It surprised him that she avoided the secret they’d buried so long ago, but then again, after that summer, she’d never said another word about it. And he’d let her get away with that, believing it was the only way she could survive what had happened. Just like him.
“Amy, it’s none of those things.” He did not want to have this conversation with her. He wanted to fold her in his arms and kiss the worry away.
Tears slipped down her cheeks.
Tony could handle a lot of things, but Amy’s tears melted his heart, and that he’d caused them was further proof he wasn’t the right guy for her.
“Then why, Tony? Just tell me once and for all. Why don’t you want me? I need to know so I can decide about taking this job in Australia.”
Tony opened his mouth to answer, but his thoughts were jumbled as he processed what she’d said. “Australia? I thought you said you weren’t taking it.”
She crossed her arms, and he hated knowing it was to protect herself from his rejection. Tony felt like a heel, but he knew that taking Amy up on her seduction would only dredge up bad memories and lead to hurting her. They’d spent a lifetime denying the past between them existed, even to themselves.
“I said I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.” She dropped her eyes to the floor, and he slid a hand in hers, as he’d done a million times before. It was a natural reaction. Taking care of her. Protecting her. Helping her feel safe. He knew it could send her mixed messages, but he just couldn’t help himself. His hand had already claimed its spot with hers.
“You’d give up everything you’ve built to run Duke’s resort? You’d move to Australia?” He had nothing against Duke Ryder. But the idea that Amy would change her life to help him just pissed Tony off.
She sank down onto the bed and buried her face in her hands.
He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and when she tried to pull away, he tightened his grip and kissed the top of her head.
“Amy, you’re sexy, smart, and everything a guy could want.”
She cocked her head to the side and narrowed her damp eyes. He felt like the biggest jerk on earth, and at the same time, his own heart was fighting tooth and nail against the space he was trying to maintain between them.
He scrubbed his hand down his face. “You are all those things, Amy, and so much more, but…”
“But you like me as a friend.”
He’d never seen so much hurt concentrated in one person’s eyes, and even if he had, it wouldn’t have compared to seeing it in Amy’s. He touched his forehead to hers, and he did the only thing he knew how to do without doing irreparable damage to their friendship.
His lie came in a whisper. “No. I love you as a friend.”
He loved Bella, Caden, and the others. But what he felt for Amy was so much bigger than friendship, it threatened to stop his heart.
She didn’t say a word, just nodded, and Tony knew in that moment that she wasn’t drunk enough to forget what he’d said by the morning—and he almost wished she were.