- Lucy-
“Lucy!”
I looked up at Fiona standing in my doorway. “What?”
“I’ve been standing here trying to get your attention for five minutes.”
“Sorry, I just-” I turned my phone over and pressed it flat against the bed.
“Are you okay? You look like you’re about to yarf.”
“Aiden’s coming to get me.”
“To take you out?”
“Yeah.”
“Why do you look so freaked out? You guys go out together all the time.”
“Not like this.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. He was like, I’m not taking no for an answer and making lewd comments.”
“I could hear you laughing in here while I was curling my hair.”
“Well, it must’ve been nervous laughter because I’m totally not having fun right now.”
“Look, Peter’s waiting for me outside so I just popped my head in to say goodbye.”
“Right. You should go.”
She walked over to the bed and put her hands on my shoulders. “Lucy, you’ve only kissed him. Nothing’s changed. You guys are still buds. Don’t overreact.”
“It sounds like he’s got more than kissing in mind.”
She threw her hands in the air. “Well, it’s about damn time!”
“Don’t you get it?” I asked. “I’ve been trying to convince myself that this isn’t what I wanted for as long as I can remember.”
“You mean lying to yourself.”
“I don’t know anymore.”
“You want my advice?”
I nodded.
“Get pretty. Go out. Have a good time.”
“And if he tries to take things further?”
“Can you even hear yourself right now? You’re being so silly. You can handle yourself. If something feels good, do it. If something feels bad, don’t do it.”
“That’s some of the best advice you’ve ever given me.”
Fiona shrugged. “Sometimes I get it right.”
“You look pretty anyway. Better not keep Peter waiting.”
“Take a deep breath, Luce. He’s your friend, remember? The last thing he wants is for you to feel uncomfortable.”
“So why couldn’t he have left things alone?”
She tilted her head. “Cause you kissed him back, and he liked it.”
“Don’t blame this on me.”
“This isn’t a blaming situation. You’re an adult. Act like one.”
I pulled my knees to my chest.
Fiona’s eyes bounced off the clock by my bed. “Let’s look at the facts for a sec, and then I really gotta go.”
“Okay.”
“A sexy guy just asked you out on a Friday night, and you’re young and beautiful and you have to eat anyway.”
“I suppose I do have to eat.”
“And just because you’re in love with him doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time.”
“I’m not in love with him.”
“So what are you so worried about then?”
I squinted at her. “You’re trying to trick me into relaxing, and it’s not going to work.”
“Suit yourself,” she said.
“Bye.”
“Call me if you need anything.”
“Same.”
I watched her hair bounce around the corner and picked up my phone again so I could scroll through the messages.
In the space of five minutes, Aiden had called me beautiful, sexy, mentioned sweet things in my mouth, made a joke about me sliding up and down, and suggested he put his tongue in all my secret places. Just reading the conversation again made my heartbeat go haywire.
But there were two things he’d said that struck me the most.
One was that I was the first girl he’d messaged on Tinder which- if it was true- was pretty flattering… even if I was disturbed by how easily sexting dirty came to him.
The other thing that kept running through my head was his suggestion that we start over. It was something I’d always wondered about, especially after particularly enjoyable late night drinking sessions with him or exceptionally hilarious ice cream parlor visits.
But was it really something he thought about too?
Or was he just prepared to say anything that might help him get in my pants?
I shuddered to think about things going that far. Sure, I was curious about what he would be like in bed. I’d heard he was generous and voracious. And why wouldn’t he be? He was those things outside the bedroom. Plus, he was an athlete, so I could only assume he’d had his share of experience.
But when I pictured his last few girlfriends, I felt a lump in my throat. They were probably all hairless from head to toe, maybe even lasered. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were freaking vajazzled. And none of them had jiggly bits or even soft bits. Their skin was always taut to the point of looking stretched. And I probably had more boob than he’d know what to do with.
Besides, I wasn’t sure I could handle him seeing me like that. Being naked with someone made me feel vulnerable enough, but the idea of being vulnerable in front of someone who I never let see me that way was confusing.
I mean, I liked a guy that was willing to push me around a little. Not in a violent way, but I was so used to being in control, so used to having to make every fucking decision in my life from such a young age. So when it came to sex and relationships, sometimes I liked to be the submissive one.
But not if Aiden was the dominant one! It was so crazy I laughed when he told me to get ready and that he wasn’t taking no for an answer.
And it wasn’t a “haha” laugh either. It was a big “bahaha” kind of laugh. It wasn’t until he stopped texting me that I realized he was serious, and I’d been freaking out ever since.
The bottom line was that Fiona was right. I should go out and have a good time. I wasn’t doing shit anyway, and the other matches that had come through were obviously the result of me drunk Tindering, which I really needed to stop doing.
So I should let my best friend buy me dinner. Or better, I could insist we go Dutch because that’s what I normally did on first dates. Then I’d suggest we get ice cream or- I don’t know- hitchhike to Graceland because I’ve always wanted to go there. Plus, that would ensure that we were both too exhausted by the end of the date to do anything awkward.
Okay, maybe I was overthinking this.
But I was only doing it so I wouldn’t dwell on what he said about wanting to fuck me better than anyone ever had.
I couldn’t deny that his confidence was a turn on, but if he really was the best lay I ever got, well, I couldn’t think of a bigger disaster.
I mean, then I’d be at risk of losing not only my best friend, but also the best sex of my life. Surely that would lead to counseling I just couldn’t afford right now.
Or ever.
I needed to act cool. Naked vulnerability was one thing, but if I let him know his ridiculous sexts got to me, I would be in just as deep.
I pulled on my black shirt dress and gave my hair a tousle. Maybe some sexy bed head would be enough to make Aiden think we’d already been there. Too bad librarian buns and strait jackets weren’t my style.
I grabbed my favorite belt off the floor and looked in the mirror as I fastened it loosely around my waist. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I guess I wanted to see something else… or rather, someone else, someone who deserved this kind of flirtatious attention from such a handsome and eligible suitor.
Instead, I just saw a spirited young hairdresser hiding behind too much eyeliner.
And then I heard the buzzer.