After that session with Lisa, Finn buried his frustration by throwing himself even harder into his training. Every morning at dawn, he went running along the cliff trail with Rollo. Then he met Tim Peavy at the gym, where they lifted weights for a couple of hours. In the afternoons, he and Josh took his dog Snowball to the beach. While Snowball chased the foamy waves up and down the sand, Finn plunged into the waves and swam at least a mile out, until the ocean salt nearly brined his skin.

None of his nonstop training made him forget Lisa’s cool hands or her hot kiss. Even while battling the surf, he remembered the slippery glide of the salve she’d used, or the heady scent of it. Lavender, maybe, and something like cedar. Soothing and relaxing—nothing like that kiss. That was pure passion. The sparks had ignited in a flash, as soon as she’d touched her lips to his.

And she’d initiated the kiss. Not him. Hallelujah. Now he knew he wasn’t the only one feeling this attraction.

He’d been drawn to her since the first moment he saw her. Even before, really. That photo at the tower had first caught his eye. But now that he’d tasted her full lips, felt the passion behind her practical exterior, he wanted her even more. With one kiss, she’d turned everything upside down. She challenged him, threw him off-balance.

And pushed him away.

She hadn’t given him her number, and she didn’t call him. Was she even thinking about him? She must be. That kiss had been too incendiary to forget. Jupiter Point only had a few campgrounds, so he could probably find her motorhome. But that seemed too stalker-ish.

The hotshots put in two more days of work at the airstrip. Finn and Josh nailed down the new roofing metal while Rollo, Tim and Brianna painted inside.

Lisa was a no-show. Somehow, he didn’t think it was a coincidence. He’d gotten too close, so she’d stepped back into her safety zone.

At the beginning of March, Sean came back from his honeymoon. The hotshot crew sprang their big surprise on him on a crisp morning soon after that. At first Finn hesitated to join them, but Josh and Rollo insisted. They all drove together in the Ford Super Duty, tools loaded in the back. To keep up the pretense, Finn and Josh spent the entire drive complaining and groaning about all the work ahead of them.

“You ought to junk the whole place,” Josh said. “There ain’t enough paint in the world to make it sellable.”

“Yeah, just turn it into a skateboard park. Or use it for paintball,” Finn agreed. “No point in wasting our time.”

Sean scowled at them from the front seat. “Damn, I miss Italy.”

In the driver’s seat, Rollo shrugged his massive shoulders. “Guess the honeymoon’s over, bro. Back to reality.”

Then they made the turn into the airstrip parking lot. The new roof metal glinted in the sun, and the fresh blue exterior paint gleamed. Sean’s jaw literally dropped.

“Holy fucking shit. It’s done. What the fuck happened?”

Finn and Josh bumped fists, while Rollo grinned so widely his face looked like it might split.

“It’s a little something called a wedding present,” said Josh, cackling gleefully.

“You guys did this?” Sean jumped out of the Ford and planted his fists on his hips. “I can’t believe it. It’s done!”

“Brianna helped too, and so did Lisa Peretti. Merry even put in some time. Suzanne sent sandwiches.” Josh stood next to him and bumped his shoulder. “You did register for a new airstrip, right?”

“We can always get you one of those awesome fondue makers instead,” Finn added, joining the others. “Or a KitchenAid. Those things rock.”

“No. Nope.” Sean shook his head. “It’s the perfect gift. I can’t believe you guys. This is above and beyond.”

“What else are brothers for?” Josh clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Through thick and thin, right?”

“Right.” Sean fixed his gaze on the building as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Or maybe so no one could see the emotion on his face. “I can’t wait to show Evie. This is something else. Beers are on me, guys. Barstow’s Brews, who’s in?”

Josh shook his head. “Sorry, got a birthing class.”

Finn snorted, earning a glare from Josh. Birthing classes were no laughing matter, apparently.

“I can’t either, bro,” Rollo said. “My sister Sidney’s coming out for spring break and I have to pick her up at the airport tonight.”

So much for that, thought Finn. No way would Sean want to go with just him. He turned to get back in the Super Duty, but Sean stopped him with a hand on his forearm. “How about you, Finn? Grab a beer?”

Shock kept him from answering right away. The guys all waited as he tried to get his mouth to move. “Sure. I’m in.”

“All right.” Sean glanced at the other two hotshots. “I’ll catch you two another time. When you aren’t birthing or babysitting. You know, when you’re men again.”

“Low blow, bridegroom. Low blow.”

* * *

“I heard you’ve been training pretty hard,” Sean said as they nursed their mugs of Guinness in a dark corner of Barstow’s.

“Yeah.” Finn drew in a deep breath and steeled himself. “I want on the crew, Sean. I need to get back to work, back on the line.”

“You do, huh? Screenwriting didn’t work out so well?”

Finn laughed. He’d taken a crack at the Miracle in Big Canyon screenplay and basically sucked at it. He’d spent several months holed up in Rollo’s guesthouse sweating it out over his computer before throwing in the towel. “I gave it a try. Writing’s a lot harder than it seems. I’ll take a Pulaski over a laptop any day.”

“How are you doing physically?”

Finn took a swallow of the smoky dark ale. “There’s still some pain. But it doesn’t hold me back. I’m still doing my rehab PT and I got some extra exercises from Lisa.”

“Lisa?”

“Lisa Peretti. Molly’s caregiver.”

“Oh right. The hot brunette. The one who’s about to leave.”

Finn nearly spewed his Guinness over the table. “What?”

“The McGraws mostly needed her during the wedding and the honeymoon. Now that Evie’s back, she’ll probably move on.”

“Probably. So it’s not for sure?” Maybe patience was the wrong approach, if that meant Lisa slipped away while he wasn’t looking.

“You should ask Evie. Or, you know, Lisa.”

Finn scowled at his Guinness. Sure, he could ask Lisa. If she ever bothered to hand over her phone number. Would she really leave town without saying goodbye? Why not? All they’d done was kiss. She didn’t owe him anything.

If she left, he’d probably never see her again. Maybe it was time to find out which campground she lived in and go pound on her door.

“Why, are you interested? Good luck with that. Evie says she’s kind of cagey. Never talks about herself. Didn’t even give a home address. But she’s great with Molly, so they let it go.”

“She doesn’t have an address because she lives—” He broke off. Maybe Lisa didn’t want people to know about her motorhome. “Forget it.”

Sean lifted his eyebrows. “Sounds like you know more about her than the McGraws do.”

“I doubt that. They interviewed her, didn’t they?”

“Sure. She gave them all her credentials, and everything checked out. She’s way overqualified. The Dean quizzed her hard about why she wanted the job. She said she wanted something temporary and slower-paced than the ER. It sounded like she had some kind of bad experience and that’s why she left.”

A bitter sensation gathered in the pit of Finn’s stomach. Sure, Lisa had kissed him. But she hadn’t given him more than crumbs of information about herself. “That’s definitely more than I know.”

Sean shot him an amused look. “Running into some roadblocks?”

“You could say that,” Finn muttered into his beer. “Electrified roadblocks.”

“That’s new and different for the Mighty Finn. You’ve never had to work for a woman’s attention before, have you?”

Finn glared at him, and Sean put up a hand in surrender.

“Changing the subject now. Back to where we started. You were saying that the hot nurse gave you some exercises and…”

Finn allowed himself to relax. Usually he didn’t mind getting teased about his love life, or anything, really. But with Lisa, everything was different. “They’re helping. I’m probably about eighty-five percent now. I’m aiming for ninety.”

“Eighty-five percent of Finn Abrams is still a damn good firefighter.”

Finn let the compliment wash over him like a warm ocean wave. “Thanks.”

Sean put down his tankard and speared him with a hard stare. His green eyes looked even smokier than usual in the dimly lit atmosphere of Barstow’s. “You know, Finn, you were always a standout. I never saw you lose your nerve. And I was watching because you were the first rookie I was ever responsible for. I paid close attention. You were smart, you kept your head, you worked hard. We all thought you’d be the spoiled type, coming from your background. But you weren’t. And then…”

Here it was. The moment he’d been dreading for months. “Yeah. Then I lost it. Look, Sean. I don’t want to make excuses. Anything I say is going to sound like some kind of lame justification.”

“Don’t worry about how it sounds. You know how it is out there on the fire lines. We have to trust each other. It’s life or death. How can you work on my crew if you don’t trust me?”

Finn stared at the crew leader, thunderstruck. Did Sean really believe that Finn had panicked because he didn’t trust him? “It had nothing to do with trust. It wasn’t about that. Ah, Christ.”

He scrubbed a hand through his hair. Every time he remembered that damn flashback, his head pounded.

“I was hoping I’d have more answers before I told you all this. But there’s still a big fat blank spot.”

“What blank spot?”

“Me.”

He told Sean the entire story. It took two more Guinnesses to get through it. Sean absorbed every word without any sign of calling for a psych consult.

“Damn, Finn. That’s some story. So you still don’t know anything about your origins?”

“Nope. The latest lead from the PI is another dead end. Every other day he has something new, but they never pan out. I’m starting to think I might never know. I had this idea that if I remembered everything, if I knew who I was, I could guarantee that nothing would sneak up on me again the way it did in Big Canyon. But I can’t say that. I'm ashamed of how it went down. I want to get back out there and, I don’t know, redeem myself.”

Sean gave a slow nod. “I appreciate your honesty.”

Fuck. That sounded like a windup to a “no.” Finn looked down at his beer. He could try another crew. Anywhere but Jupiter Point. Someone, somewhere, would want his skills.

“We start training drills in mid-March. Why don’t you join in and we’ll see how it goes? I’ll have to talk to Vargas about it, but I can probably keep a spot open for you. But I want daily reports. Twice daily.”

“No problem.” Finn could barely believe this was happening. A grin threatened to take over his face. He tried to keep some kind of stoic tough-guy attitude going, but it just wasn’t his nature. “Woot!” He hooted out loud, causing heads to turn. “I’m back.”

Sean laughed and lounged back in his seat. Since getting married, he looked more relaxed than Finn had ever seen him. “You’re lucky I just got back from my honeymoon and I’m feeling generous. Don’t expect any more breaks.”

“Don’t want any.”

“You’re a lot tougher than you look, Hollywood.”

Finn pointed at his own face. “Hey, I got a face full of ugly-ass scars now. No one calls me Hollywood anymore.”

“Really? When did that happen?”

“Might have been when Annika dumped me. I don’t know, but I’m glad it’s gone.”

“If you get on the crew, they’ll probably come up with a new one.”

“When, Magneto. When I get on the crew, not if.”

Sean grinned and lifted his tankard to click it against Finn’s. “Sing it, brother.”