How long had it been since Jack took a nap in the middle of the afternoon? It was disorienting. He woke up fully rested, but instead of greeting the morning sun the only lights outside his window came from the street lamps in front of his house. It could be eight o’clock at night or three in the morning. His stomach growled hungrily. Whatever time it was, he needed to get up and find some food.
“Come on.” He reached out to grab Diesel and—
Nothing. He couldn’t even feel a warm space where the other man had slept beside him. The only sign that he wasn’t alone in the bed was the blue canvas tennis shoe in the corner of the room.
Okay, so Diesel hadn’t gone home.
That was a good thing.
Maybe Jack could still convince him to stick around for another round of the mattress mambo. Then he’d see about making sure their encounter wasn’t a one-time occurrence.
The way Diesel came apart in his arms?
He could get used to that fast.
He tugged on plaid flannel pajama bottoms and checked his phone. No messages and no missed phone calls, but it was approaching ten thirty at night. He headed out into the main body of the house to track down his wayward lover. Diesel couldn’t have gotten that far. Not without his shoes.
The first sign that something had gone horribly wrong was the pile of pizza boxes on the coffee table. They hadn’t been there when they came in. The cans of seltzer water were also a new and annoying addition. Jack had a countertop seltzer maker. It was more environmentally friendly, and he didn’t have to worry about taking bags full of cans to the curb every day.
The only person he knew who still bought carbonated water by the case was seated on his couch, squeezed between Eric and Diesel.
Mona’s arms were crossed. She was wearing khaki slacks and a peach cardigan that had fit her better five years earlier. Her bottom lip was stuck so far out it could be used as a runway.
“You keep making that face and it’s going to stick that way,” Jack said.
Mona humphed.
Eric snickered.
Diesel’s smile was soft and shy. He was dressed in the same clothes he’d been wearing earlier, a pair of stiff dark jeans and a combed cotton T-shirt that didn’t quite stretch to fit his mammoth biceps. The shirt’s vibrant blue color made his eyes flash sapphire instead of their usual ocean blue. His hands never stopped moving on the video game controller. “You want winner?”
“Don’t let him play,” Eric warned Diesel. “He’s so old, he thinks Zorg is cutting edge.”
“Funny.” Jack rolled his eyes, even though it was just one more reminder of Diesel’s age. He might play the occasional game, but he couldn’t get his fingers to move with the same kind of ease and determination. The divide between them wasn’t just a few years. It was generational.
With Diesel it wasn’t just the age difference either. Jack was his boss. The balance of power between them was completely uneven. Jack gave orders and Diesel was supposed to obey. That was the way it worked. Darkness gnawed at him. Was that why Diesel had come back to Staten Island with him? Because he didn’t think he had a choice? Except, he’d been the one to make the first move back in the office and he hadn’t left while Jack was asleep.
Instead, he’d made himself at home, battling animated cartoon characters. Jack couldn’t think of anything more domestic. He forced his unease down.
“If I knew he could play, I would have stopped to talk with you guys the other day,” Eric said. “Gotten some pointers.”
“Let you in on my super-secret strategy?” Diesel shook his head. “Not a chance.”
Jack hadn’t known he was tense, but that didn’t stop his shoulders from relaxing ever so slightly. He went back to his bedroom to put on a T-shirt, made a small detour to the bathroom to splash some water on his face. He really wasn’t awake for a four-way conversation that included his teenager, his ex-wife, and his...lover? Underling?
The hall floorboards creaked under his feet when he walked back out, but no one paid him much attention. The same game was playing across the television screen and the two competitors were looking intense. Eric’s brow was furrowed. When he made a mistake, he swore under his breath. When he got too excited, he jostled his mother and practically leaped off of the battered couch.
Diesel’s fingers were flying like a pro, but in contrast to Eric, his body was completely relaxed. His smile was genuine and when his avatar ended up flat on his ass he didn’t curse, he laughed. “I ordered us some pizza. I didn’t know what kind you liked, so I got a veggie lovers and a sausage and pepper.”
“Uh-huh.” Two different pizza boxes crowded the coffee table, one from Marco’s at the end of the street and the other from Antonio’s two blocks away. Marco’s made a decent pizza. The sauce was slightly sweet to Jack’s way of thinking, but it was where he ordered from at least seventy percent of the time. Antonio’s blew it out of the water, but the wait was twice as long and they charged a delivery fee on anything less than six pizzas. “Where did you order from?”
“He got the good stuff,” Eric said. “Mom got pepperoni.”
Mona shook her head. “Your new boyfriend got scammed.”
Diesel’s cheeks flushed a bright red. “I don’t know the pizza places around here. I went on Yelp. Antonio’s had five stars and like a billion reviews.”
“You paid a delivery fee. That means you got scammed.” Mona patted him on the arm. “Don’t worry, sweetie, you’re still young enough to learn. Unlike some people—”
“Did someone invite you over? I can’t remember.” The age difference was obvious enough, even when Diesel wasn’t sitting two seats down from Jack’s son. The last thing he needed was for Mona to bring it up again and again and again.
“Eric saw the light on and wanted to come over.”
“I was trying to get away from you,” Eric said just a little too loudly. All the adults turned to stare at him, even Diesel. The only sound in the entire house came from the television, where a giant pink balloon was slaughtering a cartoon elf.
Eric swore. “Damn it.” He handed the video game controller to his mother, stole one of the Antonio’s boxes, and wandered away. A few seconds later the door to his room closed with an audible thunk.
Mona sighed. “I was trying to get somewhere with him on the school stuff. Your lights were on. There was a delivery car in front of the house. I figured we could all talk it out.” She shoved over a little, putting a few inches more space between her and Diesel. Then she leaned forward to pick out her own avatar. “If I’d known you had company, I wouldn’t have bothered.”
That was as close to an apology as Jack was likely to get. He walked over to the couch and sat down at the end. Now Diesel was in the middle, but he didn’t seem to mind. If anything, he edged ever so slightly closer until they were knee to knee and hip to hip. Heat rocketed back and forth between them.
Jack reached out and flipped open the closest box of pizza. Veggie lovers. Most of it was gone, but there were still two slices left. He didn’t bother with a plate, folding the larger slice in half and taking a big bite. “Thanks for dinner.”
“You bought lunch,” Diesel said, but his blush had reached his ears now. Freaking adorable. “You didn’t tell me your ex-wife lived next door.”
“Right.” He should probably explain. The situation wasn’t exactly normal, but it worked for them. When Mona wasn’t out to destroy his dahlias. “I used to rent a place near the station, but it was too far for Eric to stay over and get to school by himself in the morning when he was a kid. After my last divorce, I wanted to be closer to him and this place was on the market. It seemed like serendipity.”
“And neither of you have a problem with that? Living next to your ex?”
“Only when he tries to cook,” Mona said. “Then I worry that he’s going to burn the entire neighborhood down. It’s a good thing he’s a firefighter.”
“Bitch,” Jack cursed around a mouth full of crust and cheese.
“Jerk.” On screen her avatar ran straight off a cliff and fell to its death. “For fuck’s sake.” She tossed the controller down, took the box from Marco’s, and walked out of the house without saying another word. The door closed solidly behind her and then, finally, Diesel and Jack were as alone as they were going to get.
Thank God for small favors. Tension left Jack’s body as he scooted even closer to Diesel. “Would it help if I apologized for them?”
“Your kid’s nice and Mona’s...” Diesel’s voice trailed off. “You know I don’t care about the age difference, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“You’re smart, you’re hot. You’ve got your life together.” Diesel sighed. “You know who you are and you don’t hide anything. There’s something damn sexy about that. I can see why the two of you are friends. I can even see why you married her.” He put the video game controller down and turned to look Jack straight on. “Why’d you divorce her?”
“Mona was in school, getting her PhD. She wanted to be an all-star academic and that takes work. I was starting up in the fire department at the same time, working a lot of doubles. We were never home at the same time, and when we were, the only thing we talked about was Eric. That’s probably why we lasted so long in the first place. If we’d spent more time talking we’d have realized earlier we were better off as friends.”
“And you never think about getting back together?”
“Every year on Eric’s birthday. For about twenty minutes.” His tongue felt clumsy as he said the words. His tone was flippant. This wasn’t the time to give a bullshit answer. He swallowed. “Getting a dog? Retiring together someday? All those things we talked about earlier, I never thought about doing that with her. She’s the mother of my son, and she’s a great mother. I always knew she’d be a great mother. I never dreamed about the two of us walking off onto the sunset.”
Mona was soft, pretty, and stubborn. When she wanted to do something, she steamrolled over anyone who got in her way. Even Jack.
Jack wasn’t interested in being with a one-woman army for the rest of his life. He wanted a partner, someone who could consider his wants and needs while they made their own plans. Someone who’d talk to him about what he wanted and figure out a way for them to work toward the goal together.
Someone who’d go to dog training lessons with him and take turns waking up in the middle of the night to let out their puppy.
A spaniel.
Either a Clumber or a Papillon.
“These days she’s dating a moral philosopher at Columbia, and I’m—” He’d sworn off relationships. No more. Not until he retired. “I’m exploring my options.”
That last statement didn’t stop him from snuggling even closer to Diesel on the couch. He’d never been particularly cuddly, but something about curling up to a larger body meant he could definitely see the appeal.
Diesel switched the game over to single player mode and they took turns playing while they finished off the rest of the pizza. When they were finally done, it was going on one o’clock in the morning and Eric was snoring away in the smaller bedroom.
“You’re staying the night.” It wasn’t a question. If Eric had gone back to his mother’s house, Jack would have flirted his ass off to get Diesel back into bed, naked and panting. The sex was fantastic. Unbelievable.
It was like a dream, and he still hadn’t forgotten about that little tidbit.
Diesel actually dreamed about him?
Jack was going to need to know more about that.
Some other time.
For right now, he’d settle for Diesel safe and happy in his arms. They stumbled out of the living room and into the bedroom. Diesel didn’t bother getting all the way undressed, but he shoved his pants off and climbed onto the middle of the bed.
The lights went off. Jack got into bed beside his lover. He tugged the comforter up over them and curled himself around Diesel’s body. The light from the street was soft. The harsh new LED bulbs the city was putting in hadn’t made it out to Staten Island yet and the old ones still glowed with yellow incandescence.
Every once in a while a car would go by on the street providing an additional burst of illumination.
The cut on Diesel’s back was harsh and ugly. Ragged. It would definitely leave a scar, but it would heal.
Just like the pinpoint bruises he’d left with his fingertips. Jack’s head dipped to skim a dark spot near the base of Diesel’s neck. “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
“I heal fast.” Diesel snuggled back even closer. “If your kid wasn’t in the other room...” His voice trailed off, but they both knew what he wasn’t saying.
“Maybe he won’t hear?” Jack said.
They both snickered. The closed doors might offer some protection, but the small house meant they were less than fifteen feet from Eric. He’d be able to hear anything above a whisper.
Diesel rolled over to face him straight on. They were touching in several places, close enough that Jack couldn’t tell the difference between their two heartbeats, but Diesel needed more. He wove their fingers together. “This has been fun. Really fun.”
“We’ll do it again.”
“Right.” Another car went by, and the flash of light it created made Diesel’s eyes glow and illuminated the uncertainty in his expression. Teeth dug at his bottom lip. His brows were heavy. “With our track records, it might be better if we kept things casual.”
“Is this because of my ex—”
“It’s not.” Diesel’s voice was steely.
Right, because those were only a few of the hundred other reasons why they didn’t belong together. Diesel was too young. Jack was too old. They worked together. Jack was his damn boss. If things went sideways they could both be fired, and the bitch of it was that they’d deserve it.
But Jack had never had a casual relationship in his life.
He wasn’t about to start now.