Chapter Ten
She took him down the hall to what looked like a nurses’ lounge. It was empty, and once they were inside she shut the door.
And then it was just the two of them, face-to-face.
If someone had told him yesterday that within the next twenty-four hours he’d miss his window to go into the biosphere, put Airin in the hospital, and be standing in a room with billionaire industrialist Dira Delaney, he would have said they were crazy.
Dira was smaller in person than she seemed on TV. But that didn’t make her any less intimidating.
They looked at each other in silence for a good thirty seconds. He had a feeling that Dira was waiting for him to speak first, and he remembered something else his chess teacher had taught him.
When you seem to play your opponent’s game, it can make them overconfident.
“Ms. Delaney, I know you’re worried about Airin. But I think you’re underestimating her.”
Dira’s lips tightened. “And you’re basing this analysis of my daughter on what? The deep knowledge you acquired during three days’ acquaintance?”
Not even three days. Two separate—and relatively brief—encounters.
But there was no need to mention that.
“I’m basing it on a perspective you’ve never had when it comes to your daughter. The perspective of an objective observer.”
One corner of her mouth went up slightly, and it was the first sign of humor he’d seen in her.
“You’ll forgive me, Mr. Bryce, but I’ve seen the way you look at Airin. I might call you many things when it comes to my daughter, but ‘objective observer’ is not one of them.”
Score one for Dira Delaney. But he didn’t have to acknowledge the hit.
“I’m still more objective than you are, ma’am.”
Dira glanced away from him for a moment. There was a standard-issue hospital poster on the wall, an anatomical diagram of the human heart. She looked at it for a few seconds and then back at him.
“I know you’ve read about me, Mr. Bryce. Every aspiring astronaut has. The media likes to highlight the optimism of my vision. Dira Delaney wants to send humans to Mars. She wants to reignite the American fervor for innovation and exploration.”
She huffed out a breath. “I’ve worked hard to keep the focus on that aspect of my personality, because it helps me achieve my goals. It’s also true. I do want all those things for America and for the human race. But other things about me are true as well.”
She took a step toward him, and it was as if she let a mask drop. Some of her brutal self-discipline fell away, and he saw the flash of fire in her eyes.
“To get where I am, I’ve had to take on giants. I compete with Boeing and Lockheed Martin and every aerospace CEO who sees rockets as an extension of his genitalia. I compete with nations. Russia, China, the USA. I’ve taken on these challenges because I believe the mission is worth it and because I believe I can accomplish the goals I’ve set for myself. I’ve made sacrifices along the way that most people wouldn’t dream of making. There are those in my industry—and in the media—who say that even in a field that attracts fanatics, I seem uniquely obsessed. So keep all of that in mind when I tell you this, Mr. Bryce.”
Her voice hardened. “I would give it all up to protect Airin. I would turn my back on my company, my mission, everything else, if doing so would save Airin’s life. Do you understand?”
Hunter was almost a foot taller than Dira and a good hundred pounds heavier, but it took no small effort to stand his ground in the face of her emotional and intellectual force.
“You’re a mother who loves her daughter. That doesn’t make you unusual, Ms. Delaney. In fact, that’s probably the most ordinary thing about you.”
Her eyebrows went up.
“Touché,” she said after a moment. “I suppose that’s true. But bear in mind that behind my ‘ordinary’ love for my daughter is a lot of money and a lot of resources—and the ruthlessness of a woman who’s succeeded in the most male of worlds.”
He nodded his acknowledgment of those facts.
“You’re telling me you’re a tough opponent and a bad enemy. Believe me, Ms. Delaney, I have no desire to be your enemy. But your daughter asked for my help, and I’m going to give it to her.” He paused. “And there’s something you should know about me. To get where I am, I’ve had to take on deserts and dust storms, catastrophic equipment failure, and air defense artillery. I’ve risked my life in prototype aircraft no one else would fly. I took on more crazy-ass missions than anyone in my unit. And once I left the military, I had to negotiate my way through NASA. Bureaucracy can beat the toughest pilot, but it didn’t beat me.”
He saw that flash of humor in her for the second time. “Are you telling me you’re a bad enemy, too?”
“Nope. I’m just telling you that once I make a commitment, I see it through.”
“Didn’t you have a commitment to the NASA biosphere project?”
Ouch.
Yeah, that one would leave a mark. But it would be a mistake to let her see it.
“I had a backup for that mission. Qualified and ready to go. But there was no backup here for Airin. She was so eager to get away from you, to be with someone who didn’t know she was your daughter, that she didn’t tell me who she was. She didn’t have ID on her. I didn’t know her last name. She was unconscious when we got here, and I had no way to contact her family or anyone else she might know. If I left her, as far as I knew I’d be leaving her as a Jane Doe among strangers. I had a decision to make, and I made it.”
Dira nodded once, slowly, her eyes never leaving his.
“I do know all that, Mr. Bryce. And believe it or not, I respect it. I’m in a position to know exactly what astronauts in training go through . . . and I know what fighter pilots go through, too.”
He remembered suddenly that her husband had been a fighter pilot—until he was killed in action.
“I know only the most extraordinary men and women make it as far through the program as you have. But as rare as you are, there are still hundreds like you, with the same résumé of bravery, intelligence, leadership, and problem-solving ability. You’re not unique, Mr. Bryce. But you do have something those other men and women don’t have.”
“Which is?”
“The trust of my daughter.”
And where, he wondered, are you going with that?
“I have a proposal for you, Mr. Bryce. I propose that you let my daughter stay with you for a few weeks while she spreads her wings. Figures out what she wants to do next.”
“You’re proposing I do what I already told Airin I would do?”
Another twitch of humor at the corner of her mouth. “Yes, as far as that goes. But there’s something else I want you to do for me. Something you will not tell Airin about.”
She lifted her chin, and there was something familiar about the movement. After a moment, he realized he’d seen Airin lift her chin exactly like that.
“I want you to communicate with me every day without my daughter knowing that you’re doing so. I want you to give me complete reports as to her physical health and mental state. I want you to tell me how she’s doing emotionally. Most importantly, I want you to tell me what you talk about. What she’s thinking about her future. What she wants to do next.”
He stared at her. “You have to be kidding.”
“I assure you I’m not.”
“You want me to spy on your daughter for you.”
“In essence, yes. That’s exactly what I want you to do.”
He shook his head slowly. “You can’t honestly believe I’d agree to that.”
“Under ordinary circumstances, you wouldn’t. But I’m going to bribe you.”
His lip curled involuntarily. “You can’t bribe me.”
Her eyes appraised him coolly. “Not with money, no. Didn’t I tell you I understand astronauts? I know you’re not motivated by greed. But you see, Mr. Bryce, I know what does motivate you. And I’m in a position to offer you the one thing you want more than anything else.” She paused. “A chance to go to Mars.”
Whatever he’d been expecting, it wasn’t this.
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I’m going to beat NASA to the Red Planet. They’re fifteen years away from the first manned mission. I’m ten years away. I know you’d give almost anything to be a part of the first crew to step foot on Mars. I’ll be putting my crew together over the next decade, Mr. Bryce. How would you like to be a part of it?”
Well, fuck.
It was a damn good thing he had experience keeping his cool. He got a grip on his self-control, but it took a hell of an effort not to let his jaw drop.
“I’m a NASA astronaut, Ms. Delaney. I already have a chance to go to Mars.”
“A chance that, I would imagine, decreased dramatically after you pulled out of the biosphere mission.”
Another shot home. “Maybe. But in spite of your assessment that I’m not unique, NASA’s crew selection committee doesn’t agree with you. They seem to be under the impression that I’m one of the best pilots they’ve ever seen. I’ve also gone through their program with higher marks than any other candidate they’ve ever tested.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “I guess we can’t count modesty among your many fine qualities.”
“You said you understood fighter pilots, Ms. Delaney. We’re self-confident. Some people mistake that for arrogance, but I know you’re not one of them.”
“Very well. We’ll agree that you’re an outstanding pilot and an excellent candidate for NASA’s Mars mission. But you’ll also agree that you’re not, by any means, irreplaceable . . . and that your star is not exactly in the ascendant at the moment.”
Had he ever met anyone with sharper eyes than this woman?
He shrugged. “I’ll concede that.”
“And you’ll agree that what I’m offering you is more than what NASA would ever dream of offering you. Barring some kind of disqualifying event—medical or otherwise—you can have a spot in my crew. The crew that will beat NASA to Mars.”
There was no such thing as a guarantee in the space program—especially when it came to Mars. Every astronaut knew that.
The world’s best in every field wanted in on that mission. The best roboticists, planetary scientists, aerospace engineers, computer scientists, geochemists, and pilots. And in spite of his words to Dira, he knew she was right about one essential fact: when it came to NASA, no one was irreplaceable.
There’d be six or eight or ten spots on that first manned Mars spacecraft and a million people, give or take, who wanted one. Out of those, maybe a hundred thousand were qualified. And the further you whittled down that hundred thousand, the more rarefied the air became.
It was the ultimate seller’s market.
He thought he’d done a decent job of hiding the fever that had gripped him at Dira’s offer, but after a moment he realized his hands had clenched into fists. It was as though a lifeline had been thrown from the Red Planet down into the gravity well of Earth, and he’d taken it in a death grip.
Dira’s eyes on him were shrewd. She probably knew exactly what he was thinking and feeling right now, damn her.
And like any good saleswoman would, now that she knew she had him on the hook, she began to reel him in.
“I’m not asking you to do anything dishonorable,” she said, her tone shifting from sharp to persuasive.
“Spying is pretty damn dishonorable.”
“I let you put it that way to show you I’m not afraid of stark realities. But I don’t think it’s an accurate description of what I’m asking you to do. Yes, Airin is an adult. But she’s been sheltered and protected her whole life, and with good reason. Until last year we didn’t know if she’d live or die. Her heart condition could have killed her at any time.”
“But it didn’t. And according to Airin, her last surgery was completely successful. She’s fully recovered with no restrictions on activity. It’s as if it never happened.”
“That’s where you and Airin are both wrong. Because it did happen, and Airin’s childhood was unusual because of it. For her to want to leave the nest now, as she puts it . . .” Dira pursed her lips. “Quite frankly, I’m afraid for her. But if I offer to accompany my daughter on her journey into the real world—or offer the company of someone who works with me—she’ll reject that offer. She’s determined to do this without me, and I suppose that’s natural enough. So what I need is someone to look after her. Someone my daughter trusts and someone I can trust as well. Someone who will let me know what’s going on with her.” She paused. “I’m not asking you to violate anything truly private. If she keeps a diary, I don’t need to know about it. I just want you to tell me the kind of things she once told me herself.”
Airin, he thought. Stay focused on Airin. What she needed, what she wanted, and what she would think about this offer.
But the images that flooded his mind were of Mars.
The Red Planet.
He could be one of the first human beings to set foot on it.
He forced himself back to the present. “You said you weren’t afraid to lay out the ‘stark reality’ of what you want. But now you’re trying to make it sound as innocent as possible.”
“I want you to accept my offer. So yes, I want to make it palatable to you.”
“How long would this arrangement last?”
“Six weeks seems a reasonable amount of time. Airin will have made her decisions by then . . . and, hopefully, be ready to come home.” She looked at him keenly. “You can’t tell me you don’t want to accept. I can see the glow of Mars in your eyes.”
No shit.
“There’s something else, Mr. Bryce.”
“Another condition?”
“No. A compliment. You see, I don’t trust many people. Of that small number, there are perhaps three or four I would trust with my daughter’s safety. But you chose to stay with Airin at the cost of your own career advancement. I imagine you bring that same quality—a willingness to put another’s well-being above your self-interest—to all your endeavors. So even if you weren’t in a position to do me this service, I would consider you worthy of a place in my crew.”
She was laying it on pretty thick.
“But if I accept your offer, wouldn’t that be out of self-interest? What would you think of a man who would spy on your daughter for a chance to go to Mars?”
She shrugged, her expression opaque. “I would hope he’d agree it was for Airin’s own good. And that he’d simply be doing what he already agreed to—keeping her safe during a difficult transition—while helping her mother with an equally difficult transition. I would also hope he might recognize that I’m motivated by love.”
Maybe she thought she was. But whether she realized it or not, she was also motivated by a need for control.
Up until this point, Dira had been able to manage her daughter’s safety to an extent few parents could . . . and that many might wish for. Now she was losing that control, and she was desperate to hang on a little longer.
Well, that was probably natural, too. How would he know? The truth was, he was the last person who could speak to what a normal parent might wish for or struggle with. His own parents had been the opposite of normal. Compared with them, Dira Delaney was a fucking paragon.
But that didn’t mean he should accept her proposal.
He turned his back and walked over to the window. It overlooked a parking lot, and he watched people come and go without really seeing them.
Dira was a determined woman. If he didn’t help her, she’d find some other way to get what she wanted. Wouldn’t it be better for Airin if he was the one talking to her mother? As opposed to someone else?
Even as he voiced that thought in his head, he knew it was a rationalization. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t true.
He wanted to go to Mars. He also wanted to protect Airin. If he agreed to Dira’s proposal, he could do both those things.
There was really only one thing he couldn’t do if he made this deal.
He couldn’t act on his attraction to Airin.
However he justified this arrangement, he’d still be betraying her trust. It might be better for her in the long run than whatever alternative her mom came up with, but she wouldn’t see it that way if she ever found out.
There was no way they could be involved under those circumstances.
But wouldn’t that be for the best, too? The one-night stand he and Airin had planned was one thing. The chemistry between them was off the charts, and it was something they’d both wanted. But if they were living under the same roof? It was easy to imagine things getting intense, emotionally as well as physically . . . and intense meant messy.
There was a reason he’d decided a while back that pilots and astronauts were better off single. Those were jobs that took all of your focus, and being married or in a serious relationship could only get in the way.
Not to mention how unfair the life was to your partner or spouse. Look at Sue Jackson, saying goodbye to Courtney for an eight-month mission. And if Courtney ever went to Mars? They’d be saying goodbye for two or three years.
Airin was looking to spread her wings for the first time. He needed to get back on track with NASA. If he and Dira went through with this agreement, he’d be joining DelAres. The last thing he or Airin needed was some kind of emotional entanglement . . . especially when it would be Airin’s first.
She needed to figure out her life before she started dealing with romance. And when she did, she deserved more than he’d ever be able to give her—even if he weren’t going behind her back to talk to Dira.
So once again, he was rationalizing. He was telling himself that making this deal would be the best thing for everybody.
Maybe it was even true.
He turned around. “I accept.”
He spoke abruptly, and Dira looked almost startled. Then she smiled—the first full-out, no-holds-barred smile he’d seen from her.
“I’m glad,” was all she said, but he knew she meant it.
She had what she wanted, and if things worked out as planned, he’d have what he wanted, too.
The thing he wanted most in the world, as Dira had said.
But for a man who’d driven his career off the rails a few hours ago and now had a realistic shot at being one of the first humans on Mars, he wasn’t feeling euphoric or ecstatic or any of the things he ought to feel.
He was feeling like shit.