Chapter 46

Jeremy

I should be drowning my sorrows in a bottle of Rizon vodka right now, but my palm is cupped around a coffee. I’m at the café around the corner from Linny’s office.

I couldn’t make it past this point, so I barked at Trent to get back to the office to take my meeting with a supplier, and I landed here.

I reached out to Rocco because he’s the only person I know who will help me make sense of this.

He walks through the door with a smile on his face.

For fuck’s sake. Why does he have to look so happy when I feel like my world is upside down?

He stalks over to the counter and places an order.

The barista strikes up a conversation with him. I can’t hear a word, but her body language says it all.

She wants more than the few dollars he shoved into the coffee mug in front of her marked tips .

Rocco’s used to the attention. I am too, but the difference now is that I don’t engage women in idol chatter anymore. I don’t seek out the in that will move things from a casual conversation to a casual fuck.

I haven’t given in to the temptation in months because of Linny.

I close my eyes against the urge to call her.

I want answers.

I want her.

Jesus, all I want is her.

“Jeremy.”

I open my eyes to see Rocco lowering himself into the seat across from me, two cups of coffee in his hands.

He slides one to me. “The barista made you another on the house. She said you looked like you could use it.”

I glance down at the side of the cup and what’s written there in blue ink.

Heather.

Followed by a New York based phone number.

I huff out a laugh. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?”

“I just met her.” He takes a sip of coffee. “She’s beautiful, Jeremy.”

“Heather?” I push the cup aside. “I’m not interested.”

“Linny.” He taps his fingers on the tabletop. “I just came from her office. She’s as torn up as you are.”

“What the fuck were you doing at her office?” I narrow my eyes.

“I was two blocks over at a meeting and thought I’d drop in to meet the marketing whiz launching our vanilla vodka.” He exhales harshly. “She was shaking when I walked into her office.”

“So you put two-and-two together?” I question. “Or did she come out and tell you that we’ve been seeing each other?”

“Her face gave everything away.” He shakes his head. “She looked like someone grabbed her heart and squeezed it until it shattered. When I told her that I had to leave to meet you, I could see the pain.”

All the air in my lungs feels like it escapes in an instant. I don’t want her in pain. I want to protect her.

“It’s none of my business, but I’m here if you want to talk about what happened,” he offers.

I called him down here because I need something from him. I don’t know if that’s advice or just an ear to listen to me.

Either way, I’ve got to start talking.

“I found out today that she eloped in Las Vegas at some point.” I pinch the bridge of my nose to ward off an impending headache. “It surprised the hell out of me.”

“That marriage is over?”

“It better be,” I shoot back. “I’d never fuck a woman who is attached to someone else. I’d never touch a woman with a husband.”

Rocco knows my history. He knows how I feel about cheating.

“She’s not the type to fuck around on someone,” I say the words easily, confidently. “I’d bet everything I own that the marriage was over as quickly as it happened.”

“I’ll pass on that bet because I think you’re right.” He laughs. “You’re the best judge of character I know. You can read people. If your gut is telling you that it’s over, it’s over.”

“I feel things for her that I’ve never felt before.” I take a sip of coffee to swallow past the lump in my throat. “I think I’m in love with this woman.”

Rocco blinks. “So what the fuck is the problem? Why aren’t you telling her this?”

“If hearing her secret shook me to the core, how the hell is she going to react when she hears mine?”

He glances at me. “If she loves you as much as you love her, she’ll see those secrets for what they are.”

I laugh. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You’ve been hiding a part of your life that you should be damn proud of, Jeremy.” He picks up his coffee cup. “There’s no shame in what happened to you and your reaction to that.”

I worked through the shame years ago. Now, it’s guilt that I wrestle with.

“I’m proud to be your friend.” He leans back in his chair. “Linny will be proud of you too. Talk to her. Give her a chance to prove how much she cares about you.”

It’s a gamble, but I have to take it.

I don’t want Linny finding out about my past the way I found out about hers.

I need to tell her. She has to hear it from me.