With many of the brothers now with small families and young children, the clubhouse was pretty quiet, especially tonight with the run starting early tomorrow morning. The brothers wanted to spend time with their kids and women before they took off for the next few days, while others knew that heavy drinking the night before they had to ride out wasn’t exactly the best idea, given the club’s strict policies on drinking and driving.

It was easy to get fueled up on alcohol and think when you woke up in the morning it would have just disappeared from your system because it was a new day. But fortunately, these men weren’t that stupid and had done all the drinking they wanted last night, so they had a full day to recover.

While all the brothers were chilling out and relaxing, Op had given me permission to go and visit with my sister for a few hours, since I wouldn’t be around to see her for the next few days.

I’d been visiting with her every day, but usually during daylight when the club members had other duties and responsibilities.

I was packing my bag with a few things I’d gotten for her including some music, and a couple of movies I knew wouldn’t scare the hell out of her and some snacks because God knows we’d missed out on things like candy and different types of chocolate bars while we were in the Colony.

A soft knock sounded at the door as I went in search of my shoes. “Come in!” I called out as I got to my knees and scanned underneath my bed. “Uh-huh!” I said triumphantly, climbing to my feet with my sneakers in hand.

I was surprised to look over and find Ham—or Shake as the club was now calling him—closing the door behind him. He was patched in a few months ago, earning him the road name which even I felt suited him pretty well, but it was still taking me a while to get used to calling him something different.

I sat on the edge of the bed, pulling on one of my shoes and working on the laces, noticing he was still standing by the door awkwardly, not saying anything. “What’s up?” I asked as I grabbed the second shoe.

We’d gotten to know each other pretty well while he was prospecting. I liked to keep myself busy and be as helpful as possible, it made me feel more worthy I guess you could say. Being within the club meant having their protection, and I suppose the thought that one day I would need it was always sitting in the back of my head. So I wanted to know that if trouble came knocking, the club would see me as someone who was important to them, or at least useful enough to fight for.

We were only really required to do some cooking and cleaning occasionally, but I often offered to help Ham man the bar or watch the kids with him. We were around the same age, and he was a cool guy, honest and trustworthy, but also pretty funny.

“Would there be another reason for me to be coming to your room?” he answered sarcastically, causing me to freeze as I pulled tightly on the bow of my shoelace.

I was stunned to silence.

The girls here talked, and it was a known fact that Ham had never used any of them for more than flirting or a little petting.

And we all knew why.

Meyah.

I was never an issue before because prospects weren’t given club girl privileges. I was just another way to test their loyalty, to make sure that the guys who signed up weren’t in it for the pussy and the power.

I cleared my throat and stood up, unsure of where I should look now that someone who I had considered a friend, had put me in a position I never thought I would be in. “I’m kind of… off-duty right now. I was just heading out,” I told him, feeling very uncomfortable.

“Off duty?” he asked, raising his brow like he thought I was an idiot.

I pushed my shoulders back and looked him directly in the eye. “Yes, Op said I could have a few hours tonight to go and see my sister before we leave tomorrow.”

He snorted and turned for the door, his hand reaching out for the handle, but moving extremely slowly. So I decided to play into his game, knowing there was something else going on, but he didn’t have the balls to come out and say it.

“What do you really want, Ham?” I purposely used the name I’d always called him instead of his new road name. “I get that I’m not meant to say no, but of all the girls here, I’m the one who knows the most about your feelings for Meyah. So why come to me?”

We’d talked endlessly about how he felt about Leo’s niece. He wanted her more than anything else, but so far, he’d done a pretty good job of convincing himself he didn’t deserve her.

His hand was frozen on the door handle. “I don’t know,” he answered quietly without turning around.

I shook my head, my annoyance with him dissipating as I began to understand just why he was here. “I think I do,” I said, taking a seat at the edge of the bed again and watching his shoulders slump just slightly. “You knew none of the other girls would say anything. They’d be happy to have you. But you knew I would call you out on it, and you needed someone to tell you that you were being a fucking idiot.”

He took a breath and finally turned to face me, narrowing his eyes. “You aren’t meant to talk to a brother like that.”

I huffed, not caring that he could go to Optimus and tattle on me if he wanted. Knowing that I could get in trouble. “I’m not talking to a brother, I’m talking to my friend,” I said sternly, holding my chin high and daring him to argue with me. “You don’t have to screw the club girls to be a part of the club. It doesn’t make you any less of a man to have your heart set on someone else, and not want to ruin that by being a horny asshole.”

There was pain in his eyes, but he let me talk and say my piece, and I knew he wouldn’t run off and throw me under the bus.

Because I was right.

He’d come here hoping I would make him feel guilty for wanting to be with anyone but the girl he was in love with.

Ham didn’t speak, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed my words and turned around, pulling the door open and slamming it closed behind him, his heavy footsteps echoing down the hallway.

I shook my head, the poor boy was confused.

It was stupid, but I knew he had his reasons to stay away from Meyah. Whether it was doing anything but creating a rift between them, I had no idea. I just knew when he did realize what he was doing, he was going to have a hard fight on his hands to get her to come back to him.

I just hoped he wasn’t going to do anything in the meantime to ruin it altogether.

 

 

I knocked on Deacon’s door, bouncing on my toes, eager to see Emerald. It wasn’t until she got here that I realized just how much I missed my little sister. She and I had been the closest out of all of my siblings. Our older brothers were so far up our father’s ass, desperate to please him and make him happy, that they never had any time for us. And because Emerald and I were the eldest girls, we were always expected to do the chores, look after the younger ones, and help portray the image of the perfect little family.

The both of us had a love for learning, but since the Colony only believed in schooling children until they were ten, Emerald and I would spend any free time we had exploring the Colony, chasing small animals or bugs, or conducting our own experiments using as little as water and mud if we had to.

I’d be lying if I said there weren’t times early on where I’d thought about going back to the Colony and begging for forgiveness simply because I missed my younger brothers and sisters, and had fears that my father would take out his anger toward me, on them.

The door pulled open and Deacon smiled, a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, the dark circles under them telling me he was absolutely exhausted.

My face instantly dropped. “How is she?” I asked as I stepped inside.

He moved back to allow me to enter, shutting the door softly behind me before he answered. He took a deep breath, brushing his fingers through his hair before scratching at his bristled jaw. It looked like he hadn’t shaved for a few days, the rugged look making him seem edgier and less professional. That, coupled with the fact that I was still getting used to seeing him out of his police uniform.

“She’s fine,” he replied with a shrug, but guilt quickly began to settle in my stomach.

“You don’t have to—”

“Skylar,” he said sharply, cutting me off. “You have a life that you’re trying to figure out. For the couple of months, or at least until we know that no one is coming looking for her, I’m quite happy to guide her and help introduce her slowly to life outside.”

I pursed my lips and crinkled my nose. “She’s my sister, I should be—”

“You should be focusing on school and happy she’s here and looked after and that I’ll be the first to know if the status of her safety changes,” Deacon explained, his face stern and serious and not to be argued with. I took a deep breath, deciding to be thankful for having Deacon take Emerald on, rather than curse myself for not being able to do more.

We stepped inside the living room, and my mouth turned up into a smile as Deacon excused himself.

Emerald looked up at me from the sofa. “Sister, come! I am doing a puzzle,” she said with a beaming grin as she beckoned me closer.

I rushed over, dropping in beside her. She was dressed in a long-sleeved shirt and a dress that touched the floor. Even outside the compound, she was still being very conservative, but I understood that. It had taken me at least a few weeks to build up enough courage to wear a pair of pants, something that was so normal for so many people, but just the idea of putting them on my legs gave me almost crippling anxiety.

I had to remember, even though I had run away from the Colony, not sharing their beliefs, there were still certain things which were engrained into our brains and the thought of changing them, whether we believed in what they stood for or not, was still a huge step.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” I asked my sister, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and squeezing her tightly.

She froze for a minute, staring down at the puzzle piece in her hands, then cleared her throat. Pulling back to look me in the eye. “I am,” she whispered in realization before her gaze moved back to the puzzle, and then to the television that was playing silently across the room. Maybe it had only just dawned on her that she was getting pleasure from a world we had always been taught was a bad place. “Deacon is a very nice man,” she said quietly, leaning into me.

“He is,” I agreed with a smile.

Emerald cleared her throat. “He told me about his job and the things he does to keep people safe and look after them. It is very admirable.” I could hear the fondness in her voice, mixed with wonder and maybe a little surprise. “I did not realize the real work that police officers did. Did you know they search for missing persons and so many other things I just cannot even begin to list them.”

It was sad how little knowledge of the real world people had from the Colony. Maybe if they knew, more of them would venture outside, and take the risk in order to have a better life for themselves and their families.

That wasn’t what the elders wanted, though. It had taken me a long time to understand that. They chose instead to deceive their people, make them fear freedom with threats of not being taken to heaven and living in hell for the rest of eternity.

“I have to go away for a few days,” I finally found the courage to say, feeling my sister tense up beside me. “You’ll be safe here, and I’ll call Deacon at night to speak with you.”

She shook her head, her eyes beginning to water. “No, you must not leave.” There was still a lot of fear inside Emerald. While she was slowly growing more comfortable and trusting, I was still her safety net.

I took her hand, holding it in mine and patting the top. “You’ll be fine, Emerald. Nothing will hurt you.”

“And what about you?”

I smiled at her worried tone. “I will be fine. It’s not something I can get out of, the club requires me to be there.”

Emerald huffed like a spoiled child and looked away. “They demand a lot of you,” she said harshly. “You say things are different, yet you follow their rules and orders just like they are prophets.” She glared across the room, refusing to look at me.

“They care about me,” I told her with a heavy sigh, trying not to get frustrated. “I have a duty to them—”

“A duty that involves using your body for pleasure,” she snapped, ripping her hand from my grasp and leaping from her seat. She stood, staring down at me in disgust. “That is not how it was intended to be used.”

“Emerald—”

“The Colony may not have had it right, but I still don’t believe we were put on this earth to be whores!”

Her words were like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind out of me. I clenched my teeth as I slowly stood to my feet, meeting her venomous glare head on.

To be called a whore by my sister—yeah, so that hurt.

My brothers and sisters had always looked up to me, even in times when I was disobedient and fought back against what we all knew was wrong.

“I fought for you and our brothers and sisters, Emerald. I took beatings, so you didn’t have to. How many times did father put me in Doctor Gabel’s office, barely conscious because I offered to take everyone’s punishment?” My body burned, angry at my sister for being so ignorant and also angry at myself for not being more patient with her.

She stared back at me, her eyes welling with tears and her hands clasped in front of her. “I am sorry, sister,” she murmured through unshed tears.

I had to remind myself that she had run, she wanted out and was starting to see through the lies that we were told, but it would be a long time before she understood completely the depths of what the Colony was doing.

“You have a lot to learn about life and the lies that we’ve grown up with,” I told her, as calmly as my voice would allow without it breaking. “For now, you need to trust that I am fine. The brothers are not like our prophet. Their rules and laws are not to deceive us or to keep us in line. They are there to keep us safe and the club strong.”

I watched her body slump slightly, the fight within her withering. “They are scary,” she said quietly. I could feel her apprehension, and I understood it. With the boys and their tattoos, their muscles and scruffy beards, they were intimidating, to say the least.

“They are scary,” I agreed. “But only if you’re on their bad side, or if you are trying to hurt them or their family. Which we are not.”

She twisted her hands together, breathing deeply in and out as she tried to calm herself. “Do you really have to leave?” she finally asked as she pulled her sleeves down over her hands, a nervous habit she’d had since we were toddlers, one that her mother would continuously scold her for.

“Yes, first thing in the morning. But tonight, I’m all yours,” I said, hoping to somehow step over this hump in the road we had discovered. I had to keep reminding myself that this was all new to Emerald. It was going to be a shock, and she was going to want to fight back against anything she felt went against the way she was raised.

But in the end, I hoped she would eventually see there was beauty here, and opportunities she never imagined possible. She needed to open her mind and her heart to them.

A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “Will you do the puzzle with me?”

I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around her and swaying back and forth until she started to giggle. “Of course, let’s see if we can get it finished.”