After taking her virginity last night, Burr had bathed her gently in the massive hotel tub, then carried her back to bed and made love to her again. They’d fallen asleep hours later, limbs entwined, heart-to-heart, her sweet lips pressed against the base of his throat and his resting on her hair.

This morning, as much as he hated to leave her, Sean Shanahan’s arraignment waited, though he insisted that she didn’t need to come with him.

“I want to,” she’d murmured, looking completely delectable, still naked and curled up in bed.

“It’s anticlimactic, aisling. You’re not missing anything, I promise. The court always runs late. By the time Sean’s case is up, I’ll say a few words, the judge will make a decision about bail, and that’ll be that.” He smiled at her, tenderly caressing her cheek. “Thinking about you waiting here for me will make me happy, will give me something to look forward to.”

She grinned back at him. “I am tired.”

“Take a long hot bath. Get some rest. I’m loving you all over again when I get back.”

“Loving me?” she asked softly, her eyes downcast, her finger scratching at the snow white sheets distractedly.

“Loving your body,” he clarified, sitting next to her on the edge of the bed.

“Oh,” she said, flicking a glance up at him, then looking away.

“You want me to tell you I love you?” he asked softly.

“Not if you don’t mean it.”

“If I said it, I would mean it. But it feels…too soon, doesn’t it?”

“To be in love?” she asked, looking up at him. She nodded. “Yes, but…”

“But you feel it too,” he said, staring at her.

She nodded. “I do.”

“I care for you, Tierney. So much. More than any other woman I’ve ever known.” He took a deep breath. “But I can’t see a future for us yet.”

She looked like she wanted to protest his words for a moment, but then she dropped his eyes, looking down, probably because she couldn’t see it either.

“You hate Boston,” he said, “but I work here. My sister’s here. My friends.”

“Your life.”

He gulped, because his throat suddenly felt tight. “But my heart’s with you. Wherever you are, Tierney, it’s yours.”

She took a deep breath and sighed, looking up at him. Her eyes were soft, holding his with abundant tenderness. “Should we talk about it when you get back?”

“Is that okay?” he asked.

“Mm-hm,” she hummed, kissing him back when he dropped his lips to hers.

He left the room, heading downstairs and taking an Uber to the Dorchester District Court. As he exited his ride, he pulled his badge from his back pocket and slipped it around his neck, then climbed up the granite stairs and walked through the glass doors and into the courthouse.

Checking in at the clerk’s office, he learned that Sean’s arraignment, scheduled for ten o’clock, had already been moved to eleven thirty, so he took a seat on one of many benches, thinking about last night, thinking about Tierney.

He hadn’t seen her coming, hadn’t planned for her, and he was being honest when he’d told her earlier that their future wasn’t clear to him. Their feelings had grown quickly—so quickly that they didn’t have an actual, physical place for them yet. He had weeks, if not years, of work ahead in Boston. Today was just the beginning. To put Sean away, he’d need to give depositions and testimony to the DA’s office, eventually testifying against the New Killeens in open court.

He wasn’t free to move to New Hampshire; besides, he didn’t have a job there. Besides, she hadn’t invited him to. And why would she? They’d only known each other for a few weeks, no matter how fast their feelings had grown or how deeply they felt for one another.

Added to this were her feelings about Boston. What had she called it last night? Oh, right. Bloody, godforsaken Boston. Not a ringing endorsement, not to mention how, when they’d talked about the city on one of their many walks, she’d made her feelings clear. And it wasn’t like Burr felt especially warm and fuzzy toward his hometown right now, but this job wasn’t finished. He couldn't just get up and leave.

Maybe they could date long-distance for a while as the case moved through the courts. And maybe, by the time Sean was tried and convicted and Burr had fulfilled his commitment, he could consider relocating…if she’d wait for him.

With so many conflicting thoughts clouding his head, he almost didn’t hear his father call his name.

“Burr! Son!”

His head snapped up, and he looked into his father’s bright-blue eyes.

“Pop,” he said, feeling wary after last night. “What’re you doing here?”

“Seat free?” his father asked, gesturing to the empty bench beside Burr.

“Sure.”

“See you got your badge back.”

“Yeah,” he said.

“Came to, ah, hear your testimony at the arraignment.”

“You did?”

His father nodded. “Talked to Liam Donnelley this mornin’. Should’ve let you say yer peace last night.”

“I get why you were mad.”

“Yer sister could’ve died.”

“I know, Pop.”

“But it wasn’t yer fault, son.”

“If I hadn’t been undercove—”

“Liam praised your work, said your partner sold you out, said you took a bullet of your own in the shoulder.”

“It’s okay now,” said Burr, reaching up to rub the scar. “Went through clean.”

“You killed Declan Shanahan.”

“I did.”

“Better days.” His father sighed. “Yer girlfriend’s a right corker.”

Burr chuckled softly. “Yeah, she’s something all right.”

“Now, I’m not one for speeches, son, but, well, we’re proud of the work you done. I’m proud my son brought down the New Killeens.”

And while Burr took a mighty dose of pleasure in his father’s words, he also marked the conversation as the moment it started: his name bound with the New Killeens. And it lay heavy on his heart.

Sitting on that bench for the next two hours, Burr told his father what he could about his life undercover with the New Killeens, and his father caught him up on family news.

“You’ve got to meet Bridey. She’s somethin’!”

“I’ve seen her from a distance,” Burr confessed. “Can’t wait to be an uncle.”

“It’s time you think of settling down and havin’ yer own.”

Burr’s mind slipped quickly to Tierney. “Someday. Hopefully. When this business with the New Killeens has been put to bed.”

“Are ya gonna go back under, then?”

“No,” said Burr. “But testifying, assisting the DA’s office, the trial. Feels like it’ll take forever.”

“Hmm. But the undercover part’s over now.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Mr. O’Leary? They’re ready for you now.”

Burr looked up at the clerk, who gestured to the courtroom down the hall where Sean and his associates were being arraigned.

“You coming, Pop?”

“Wouldn’t miss it, son,” said his father, clapping him on the back and following him into the courtroom.

Thirty minutes later, Sean and the rest of the New Killeens had been denied bail and were sent back to prison to await their trial. Burr breathed a small sigh of relief.

“Proud o’ you, Burr,” said his father on the steps of the courthouse.

“Thanks, Pop.”

“Now you go celebrate with yer girl, huh? And then come by Suzy’s later so we can meet her proper?”

“Will do,” said Burr.

Impulsively, his father reached for him, enveloping him in a rare hug. Burr couldn’t remember the last time his father had hugged him, and he blinked his eyes rapidly against the wave of emotions that threatened to embarrass him.

“Good to have you back, son,” said his father, clapping him on the back.

“Good to be back, Pop.”

His father cleared his throat. “Now, go. We’ll talk later, eh?”

Burr nodded, catching a taxi back to the hotel.

He was relieved that bail had been denied, and now maybe he could start thinking about his life post-undercover. How it looked. How he wanted it to look. Glancing at his watch, he realized it was already after one o’clock. As he passed a kiosk selling roses, he considered asking the taxi driver to stop so he could pick up some for his sweetheart, but he was too eager to get back to her. Another time.

Back at the hotel, he paid the driver, beelining to the elevators and pressing the number “18” several times before the doors closed. His entire body hummed with longing to see her again, to have her, to hold her, to watch her face as he drove into her, and again as she climaxed with him.

The doors opened, and he stepped onto the plush carpet but stopped almost immediately.

“Open up the fucking door! I know you’re in there!”

Leaning down on impulse, Burr pulled his gun from his ankle holster, then approached the hallway slowly. Peeking around the corner, his breath caught when he realized that the banging and yelling was coming from his door. A man in jeans and a dark hoodie stood outside the door of the room where Burr had left his woman alone.

“I’m going to shoot the fucking lock if you don’t open the fucking door!”

His heart beating double time, Burr leaned away, holding up his gun, breathing out three times fast, then turning back into the hallway.

“Boston Police! Put down your weapon!”

The man at the door turned to face Burr, holding a firearm. “Burr O’Leary!”

It was Patrick Griffin, Fat Billy’s kid, whom Burr had seen up in New Hampshire loading the body of a blameless handyman into the trunk of his father’s car.

“Pat,” he said, his gun trained on the kid. “Put the gun away.”

“You sold out my dad!”

“Your father’s a criminal.”

“And you’re a feckin’ narc!” yelled Patrick.

A hotel guest cracked open a door. “Call 911 and lock your door!” snapped Burr.

“Ima kill you!” Patrick exclaimed, raising the gun and shooting.

The bullet whizzed past Burr, down the hallway behind him. He didn’t think. He acted, exactly like he’d been trained to. Aiming small, he squeezed the trigger, watching as Patrick Griffin screamed out in pain before falling back onto the hotel carpet. Burr raced down the hallway, kicking Patrick’s gun out of reach and keeping his own trained on the kid as hotel security came bounding down the hallway.

“Hands up, sir!”

Burr raised his hands over his head and threw his gun behind his back.

“I’m Boston PD,” he said. “I’m going to turn around slowly. I’m wearing my badge.”

The two armed security guards standing at the mouth of the hallway lowered their weapons, holstering them as they looked at Burr’s badge.

“Can you tell us what happened?”

“Cuff him,” he said, pointing to Patrick. “His name is Patrick Griffin. I got him once in the shoulder. His weapon is right over there.”

“What happened here?”

“Give me a minute, huh? My girlfriend’s in our room.”

Stepping over Patrick, Burr flashed his card over the reader, racing into the hotel room to find Tierney on the bed clutching a pillow, her face wet with tears.

“Burr!” she screamed, jumping off the bed.

He sat down on the bed, pulling her onto his lap, holding her close and stroking her hair. “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay, aisling.”

Her body was shaking. “He—He was b-banging.”

“I know.”

“He was b-banging on the—the d-door. He was—He had a g-gun.”

“I know, love. I’m sorry. I know. It’s over. It’s over now. I’m here, Tierney.”

She rested her head on his shoulder, coming down from her adrenaline high, sobbing and sniffling in his arms. And Burr’s heart broke for her. Already uncomfortable in big cities like Boston, this would cook her goose. She’d never want to return again. And frankly, he didn’t want her to. He didn’t want her to be anywhere where her life could potentially be in danger.

Burr winced with the unfairness of it. He’d done his job. He’d just done his goddamned job. How many people he loved would be hurt before he realized that he’d never be free of the New Killeens?

“I w-was so s-scared,” she said, her voice catching.

Be calm. Be calm. “I know. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here, love. You’re safe. You’re safe now.”

But she wasn’t safe. Not at all. Every moment she stayed in Boston was perilous for her. Who knows who’d come after him next? After him and those he loved.

What if he’d stopped for roses? What if he’d gotten here five minutes later? Would she be dead? If that had happened, he’d just as soon turn the gun on himself. Life wouldn’t be worth living if the woman he loved had been killed because of him.

Never again. He would never put her in danger again.

“Officer…?” called one of the security guards from the doorway.

“O’Leary,” he said, quickly pulling a blanket around Tierney’s naked body.

“Police are here, sir. We need to understand what happened.”

Burr looked down at Tierney. “Can you get dressed? We need to give our statements.”

She sniffled, her body still shuddering in his arms. “Y-Yeah. And then…c-can you t-take me home?”

“Of course,” he said. “As soon as we talk to the police.”

“Th-Thank you,” she said, pulling the blanket around her body as she walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

It’ll never be over, a voice whispered in Burr’s head as he pushed off the bed and went out to the hallway to explain what had happened.

The drive back up to Tierney’s cottage was silent and strained. Although nothing could erase the beautiful night they’d spent together, Burr saw how shaken up Tierney was by what had happened at the hotel.

She’d been clear in her statement: One minute she’d been in bed, waiting for Burr, watching TV. The next, some madman had been banging on her hotel door. She’d crept to the door and looked out the peephole to see a young man in a hoodie. At first, she thought he must be in the wrong place, but when he said, “Get out here, O’Leary, you fucking rat!,” she knew he wasn’t.

She’d run back to the bed, clasping a pillow to her naked body, shaking, too scared to organize her thoughts, to pick up the phone and call the police or dial 0. She’d literally frozen with fear until Burr had gotten there.

And that’s what killed him more than anything. Tierney was one of the bravest woman—no, bravest people—he’d ever met. The fact that she’d been frozen with terror chilled him to the bone.

“I’m sorry,” said Burr softly, breaking an hour of silence. “I’m so goddamned sorry, Tierney.”

“It’s not your fault,” she said.

“It is,” he said. “People I love—people I care about are getting hurt because of me.”

“It’s not…your fault,” she said again.

He glanced over at her to find her eyes puffy and cheeks red. She’d been crying off and on since the incident, though she’d been relatively calm for the last hour in the car. He’d hoped that she was recovering a little.

“I’d die for you,” he said, his voice breathless and strained.

“But I don’t want you to die for me,” she said, her voice breaking through more tears. “I want you to live. I want you alive for me.”

He reached for her hand, and she clasped his, raising it to her lips and kissing his warm skin, then rubbing the back of his hand against her cheek.

“Can you stay with me tonight?” she asked.

“Donnelley needs me back by seven o’clock tomorrow morning to give a statement on what happened with Patrick.”

She made a tiny whimpering noise that made his heart clench.

“I’ll stay until four,” he said. It was the best he could do.

She was quiet for several minutes before sniffling. “You arrived at four. That first night. It feels so long ago.”

“Are you sorry?” he asked. “Are you sorry I ever arrived at your doorstep?”

She shook her head as tears slipped down her cheeks. “Never. I’ll never be sorry.”

“Do you—” Oh, God, was it even fair to ask her this? “Do you still have hope for us?”

“I’ll always have hope for us,” she said.

For the rest of the drive to her cottage, she held his hand in hers, but he felt something terrible brewing between them—a stalemate, the beginning of a long good-bye—and he hated it so much, he didn’t know how to contain his rage.

What was the answer? To hunt down every single member of the New Killeens and dispatch them one by one? He wasn’t a murderer. But how was he ever going to have a normal life?

When they reached her cottage, Burr carried their bags inside, placing them on the floor just inside the front door as Tierney walked wearily upstairs.

Standing alone in her parlor as the late-afternoon crickets chirped outside, he remembered the first time he left her, brushing a kiss to her sweet lips and telling her, Maybe this isn’t the end of you and me, aisling. But now? Now he felt like maybe it was.

Not that she’d want to, but even if she suggested it, he’d forbid her to come to Boston. As much as he loved her, he didn’t want her there. In part because she wasn’t comfortable. But more because she wasn’t safe. He’d rather walk away and never see her again, rather than risk her well-being.

And so this might be all they’d ever have. Today. Tonight. Until four o’clock in the morning.

He walked up the stairs slowly, turning left at the top of them as he had that first night. She was curled up on her bed, quietly weeping, and without thinking, he kicked off his shoes and lay down behind her, drawing her into his arms, against his chest.

“I’m so sad,” she murmured through tears.

“I am too,” he said.

She placed her hands over his. “Do you think we could just sleep like this? For a little while? I’m so tired, Burr.”

Of course she was. He’d kept her awake for most of last night, and she’d been scared out of her mind earlier today.

“You sleep, love. I’m here.”

It took a little while, but after a time, she slept, her body relaxing against him, the weight of her head on his arm welcome, her breathing deep and easy.

“I’ll go back to Boston and leave you be, aisling,” he whispered. “I promise I’ll never put you in danger again.”

She murmured in her sleep, turning in his arms, and Burr rolled onto his back, taking her with him, her sleeping head resting over his heart as he also succumbed to sleep.

Hours later, he woke up, still fully dressed, to find her standing beside the bed, looking out the window.

“What time is it?” he asked.

“Almost three,” she said, coming back to the bed and sitting down beside him. “We slept hard.”

“What are you wearing?” he asked, realizing that she wasn’t in jeans, but little shorts and a tank top.

“Pajamas. I changed when I woke up.”

“How long have you been up?”

“Half an hour.”

Her voice was steadier than it had been at the hotel or in the car. Rest had done her good.

“I have to go soon,” he said.

“I know.”

“Tierney, I never meant to bring danger into your life, and yet…that’s what keeps happening. First the phone call to Mass General…then, Patrick Griffin at the hotel.” He scooted over, and she lay down next to him, facing him, the moonlight through the window making her eyes shine. “I can’t…I won’t do anything that puts you in further danger.”

“I know,” she said.

“So you know what that means?”

“That you won’t be back for a while,” she said, leaning forward to press her lips to his, and despite the fact that her voice was steady and even, he tasted the salt of her tears and knew she was crying.

“Don’t cry,” he said, reaching up to cup her face. “Please don’t cry, aisling.”

She kissed him again, and his hands slipped under her top, sliding along the silky softness of her back. Rolling away from him, she stood up beside the bed and pulled off her top, then pushed her shorts down, standing naked before him, lit only by the moon and the stars.

He pulled off his own shirt, unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned his jeans, and pushed them down, kicking them to the foot of the bed. As naked as she, he reached for her and she climbed on top of him, straddling his abdomen as she leaned forward for another kiss.

When she drew back, she reached for something on her bedside table, and he realized she held a condom packet in her fingers. She ripped it open, holding it out to him. “I don’t know how.”

She slid from his chest, kneeling beside him as he reached down and sheathed his erection. Once he was finished, she climbed back on top of him, taking his cock in her hand and lowering her body over him.

Tight and hot, she was heaven around him, fisting him like muscled silk and sucking him forward with every thrust. Her tits bounced with each plunge of his hips, and he reached for them, teasing her nipples into tight points and feeling her innermost muscles tighten around him.

He held her hips, driving up and into her again and again, and wishing that they had more time, every day, every night, to explore each other and love each other and learn every nuance and every sound and every beautiful fucking thing about each other. When he came, he bellowed her name, calling her his love and the woman of his heart, and it was all true, but fucking hell, he was leaving her in half an hour and his fucking soul was in shreds.

He held her hips as she leaned back, running a hand through her dark hair, her eyes glistening with tears.

“I love you,” she said, her voice breathless with exertion and emotion, his semihard cock spent but still within her. “I don’t know anything else, except that I love you, Burr. That’s how I feel, and I don’t know when I’ll see you again, so this is my chance to tell you. I love you…and I want you to know it.”

He stared up at her—his heart bursting with the purity and rightness of her words—miserable to the very core of his being.

“I have to go back, Tierney, and I can’t ask you to come with me.”

“I know,” she said brokenly, lifting the back of her hand to her face to swipe the tears away.

She rolled from his body onto her back beside him, and he got up, disposing of the condom in the bathroom before returning to her. She was still naked, on her side now, with her back to him. He lay down beside her, pulling her warm body against his and trying to memorize how it felt to hold her, wondering if he’d ever have a chance to hold her again.

“You are my aisling,” he said, softly. “The sweetest dream. Everything I could ever want.”

 “A chéadsearc. First in my heart.,” she murmured. “When you’re ready, come back to me, my love. I’ll be waiting.”