Chapter Fourteen
I woke up bleary-eyed and cotton-headed and shielded my eyes against the golden sunlight streaming in from an undraped floor to ceiling window. Last night felt a million miles away, like a bad dream. Maybe I was just hoping it had only been a dream and I hadn't thrown myself at Tyler after diving headfirst into a pile of martinis. Judging by how beautiful this suite was and the arm slung casually over me, however, last night was incredibly real.
Something hard was pushing insistently against my ass, and Tyler's tanned, muscular hands moved to my waist, repositioning me so that we were perfectly aligned. I stirred a little to let him know I was awake, and Tyler's cock sprung up excitedly. I turned in his arms to face his already open eyes and sleepy smile.
"Good morning, gorgeous," Tyler said softly. "We need to talk, but first, I believe I made a promise to you last night, one that I intend to keep right now." He flipped himself on top of me, the muscles in his arms and shoulders bulging with the effort, and dropped his head to pull me into a deep kiss. Being under Tyler, kissing him, being touched by him, was a divine experience, one that had no right to feel so right. He nipped and prodded at me, drawing my desire out of me, taking his time as his hands explored every inch of my body.
My disappointed cry when he broke our kiss was supplanted by a low sigh when he moved his mouth to my breasts, which were covered only by a thin lacy bralette. His mouth covered the mound of my nipple, sucking through the silky fabric and sending shots of arousal straight to my groin. I melted into his arms as he used the tip of his thumb and forefinger to tweak my nipple. He blew on the wet fabric of my bra, sending frissons of desire from the hard nubs to my core.
I writhed under him, lost in pleasure, needing so, so much more than he was giving me. I decided I'd had enough foreplay and I grabbed his head, pulling it up to look him straight in the eye. "I need you in me now."
Tyler grinned and reached over to the nightstand, where he ripped a condom off the perforated edge of a row of foil packets. "Yes, ma'am." He expertly rolled the condom onto his pulsating hard-on, then resumed his position above me, poising himself at my entrance.
I lifted my hips, urging him to enter me. I was throbbing for him, almost crying with arousal, but still he went at a glacial pace, driving me insane. He entered slowly, inch by glorious inch, stretching me wide and filling me to the brim. I moaned with delicious discomfort. Tyler was easily the biggest guy I'd ever been with.
"You okay?" he asked, his face straining with the effort to keep from unleashing himself fully.
I nodded. "Faster."
"I don't want to hurt you," he growled through gritted teeth.
I pumped my hips up, my eyes rolling back in my head as Tyler hit my cervix and kept pumping, trying to get Tyler to match my pace. He growled again and grabbed me by both ass cheeks, holding me against him as he started going at it with wild abandon.
"That's it, baby, let go." I reached between our joined bodies and rubbed my clit. As soon as my finger made contact, pressure and heat roared around my ears, signaling a quick release. I broke apart, gyrating against Tyler, my inner contractions milking him, pulling his orgasm from him to pulse with my own as we laid there, still connected.
Tyler slumped over and pulled me on top of him, wrapping his arms around me protectively. Something about being in his big arms made me feel so small and so female. I laid there on his sweat-slicked chest, reveling in the afterglow of one of the most intense orgasms of my life. I listened as the staccato of Tyler's heartbeat slowed to a regular pace, and his breathing slowly returned to normal. He let out a light snore, and I giggled.
As the afterglow faded and my hangover came over me with a vengeance, panic set in. I'd done it. I'd slept with Tyler. Sure, he'd had pretty words for me last night, but now that he'd finally gotten what he wanted, I was afraid. Afraid that he was going to want to talk this to death. Afraid that I hadn't been all he'd been expecting. Afraid that he'd move on to bigger and better things, leaving me to pick up the pieces in his wake. Well, I wasn't going to let a guy affect me like that again. I stiffened and gently tried to extricate myself from Tyler's arms, but his hold on me tightened, and he awakened.
"Trying to sneak out?" He chuckled, sitting up next to me. "I need a shower. Care to join me?"
I shook my head. "I just need to lie here for a few minutes. My head is pounding."
"You did pound back those martinis like they weren't twenty bucks a pop," Tyler said. He stood up, unabashed by his nakedness, and strutted to the adjoining bathroom and within seconds, steam started pouring through the bathroom door that Tyler hadn't shut all the way.
I did lie there for a few minutes, debating what to do next. I could either stay here and confront my issues head-on, or I could run from my problems. After weighing my options, I threw my dress on, picked up my shoes and purse, and exited the suite, letting the door latch softly click behind me. I padded down the carpeted floor in my bare feet, walking quickly and not turning around for fear of seeing Tyler behind me. Once I was safely in the elevator, I exhaled loudly, trying to rationalize what I had just done.
I entered my room and latched the lock behind me before flopping down on my bed, grabbing a pillow, and screaming into it. I picked up the phone and called Kat, who would know what to do.
"Hello darling," she said. "How's it hanging?"
"I'm not entirely thinking straight, and I just did a thing." I groaned.
"Good thing or bad thing?" Kat asked with concern etched in her voice.
"I don't know. I did two things, and one is unquestionably a bad thing. The jury's still out on the other one."
"Tell me so I can fix it for you," Kat said firmly.
"I slept with Tyler." I slapped my hand to my forehead.
"You slept with Tyler Motherfucking Sutton, and you think that's a bad thing?" Kat scoffed. "Can I slap you through the phone? I would kill to have your kind of problems."
"That's the thing that I'm not sure is bad or good," I said. Kat was not going to be so glib when she found out I'd bailed immediately after the sex.
"How was he? Is he a sex god? Oh no, don't tell me he's got a small pecker." Kat was horror-stricken.
"No. The opposite. Tyler is amazing in every way."
"I'm confused then. How could sleeping with him be a bad thing? And if you think having sex with the world's sexiest man might be a bad thing, I cannot imagine what you've done that you think is bad."
"I snuck out of his room right after sex, while he was in the shower," I said quickly. "I did it because he wanted to talk about our relationship, and I'm not sure that I want a relationship with someone who's such a player. I don't want to get any more emotionally invested than I already am." I sullenly played with the edge of my still-damp bra, willing images of Tyler's golden face to leave my brain.
Kat whooped with laughter. "Well, you sure figured out how to end it before feelings get any deeper."
"It's not funny," I protested.
"You are overthinking this. First of all, you're worried Tyler is a player, but you're the one sneaking out of hotel rooms after getting some booty because your sex partner wanted to discuss your relationship." I hated when Kat chided me in that no-nonsense tone. "Why don't you give Tyler a chance to prove you wrong? He seems genuinely into you. No one works as hard as he did to get you to like him if they're only trying to fuck. He even put up with being grilled by Nicky for you."
"Nick told you about that, huh?" I said.
"Yeah, it seems you and Nick were worried about the same thing with Tyler. And you know what? Nick told me that he thinks Tyler is the genuine article." I could practically see Kat's disapproving face over the phone.
I closed my eyes, mortification and regret washing over me. "I just snuck out a few minutes ago. You think I should sneak back in through the window?"
"God, no, you'll look nuttier than squirrel shit," Kat said firmly. "Listen. Do you like Tyler?"
I hesitated. "Yes. A lot. Maybe more than like."
"And that scares you."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because I can't trust him," I blurted. "Maybe I can't trust any man after what I went through with Dave."
Kat tutted sadly. "Don't say that. You're never going to learn to trust a man until you let them in, let them show you they're trustworthy."
"Yeah, but if we do this and fail, it won't just be a secret heartache that I can nurse with some ice cream and wine and then move on. It'll be public knowledge, a million times worse than my last heartache because the whole world will know," I said.
Kat sighed. "Ultimately, you're the only one who can choose this for you. You've got to do what's best for yourself. Just know that you're doing yourself a disservice here."
"I'm helping myself in the long run. All I have to do is get through a few more weeks of shooting, and then I'll never have to see him again." Until then, I'd have to face Tyler every day, watch while he moves on to other women, and I wouldn't have any say in the matter because I'd broken it off with him without any explanation. "I've got to go. I'm hungover and need to sleep away all my problems."
"Good luck with that," Kat said wryly. "I love you, you know. Even when you're an idiot."
"Love you too, Kat." I tossed my phone to the side, snuggled up to my pillow, and fell asleep promptly.
∞∞∞
I woke up mid-afternoon, ravenous and parched. For one brief moment, I forgot how awful I felt, what a horrible thing I had done, and I stretched out, ready to shower and get some food in my belly now that the nausea had passed.
I rolled over groggily. My phone's screen was lit up from text messages and missed phone calls. Shit. The terrible feeling washed over me all over again. Three missed phone calls from Tyler, and texts that progressed from bewildered to pissed off.
TS: Hey, where'd you disappear to?
TS: Olivia? Are you coming back soon? I'm ready for breakfast.
TS: Okay, are you fucking serious right now? Why aren't you answering any of my calls or texts?
I considered calling him back but decided against it, not ready to deal with the anger and confrontation. Instead, I hopped in the shower. I caught a whiff of his musk on my shoulder, and a wave of sadness overtook me. I tried to wash Tyler off my body and my soul. No matter how hard I scrubbed, he was still there, as if he had clawed his way inside me, into all the crevices that couldn't be reached by the water. No matter how long I stood under the showerhead, letting the scorching water cascade over my body, I didn't feel any better.
When the water started turning cold- who knew that was possible in hotels?- I turned the faucet off and got dressed, my stomach screaming at me now to feed it. I had a massive craving for some greasy food and a milkshake, and I couldn't get that from room service.
I grabbed my keys and my phone, and at the last second, took the ball cap lying on my dresser and shoved it on my head. I kept my head down for the duration of the elevator ride, ready to dash through the lobby to the parking garage in the hopes of avoiding anyone I knew. No such luck.
"Olivia!" Tyler called from the lobby lounge.
There was no way I could pretend I hadn't heard him. He was standing there with Doug, making direct eye contact with me. He strode forward and grabbed me by the arm, pulling me into a corner. "Where the fuck have you been?" he hissed, looking around to make sure we weren't being watched.
"Taking a nap and a shower." I shrugged my elbow out of Tyler's hand, trying to stay casual.
"My room has both a bed and a shower, both of which are superior to yours," Tyler said. "Why would you not take advantage of that?"
"Tyler," I started.
"Don't do this," Tyler said, closing his eyes.
"We may have gotten ahead of ourselves this morning," I finished. Dark, thunderous clouds formed in Tyler's eyes, but I forged ahead. "Maybe we should reel it back, keep this professional."
"Goddammit, Olivia," he growled. "Were you being professional last night when you were begging me to fuck you? Or when you were sucking me off in a closet? How about this morning, when you were coming all over my dick?"
I flushed. "No. And that's exactly why I need some space. We were getting too serious, too far in to pull back. So I'm pulling back."
"So last night, I wanted to talk about us, and now you're done with me. Why are you so afraid of letting me in?" Tyler asked, taking my hand.
"You know why. Because I can't trust you," I said. It was harsh, but it needed to be said.
I watched my statement hit Tyler like I'd thrown a rock at him. He flinched and dropped my hand like it had burned him. "This again. That's fucking rich coming from someone who snuck out after getting her jollies with me. This tune is getting played out. All right, Olivia. You've got your wish. I give up. I'm leaving you alone now, so you can go hide in your fortress and protect your heart all you'd like. Just know that we could've been something great, and you're throwing it away because someone else did a number on you." Tyler looked at me in disgust. "See you on set."
He strode back to a confused Doug, who was looking between the two of us in undisguised interest. "Nothing," Tyler answered loudly. "Something about the script."
They left the lobby together without even a glance back towards me. I slumped against the wall, dismayed. I knew I'd done the right thing for myself, so why did I feel so rotten?