Chapter Ten
Livvy woke with a pleasant soreness in all the right places. She stretched but from the moment she opened her eyes, she knew Ryan wasn’t in the cabin. He was most likely off hunting.
Too bad, because she wanted to go exploring and it would be so much more fun with him at her side. Though she had to admit their wild coupling in the forest was inspiring her desire to go with him to the stream she hadn’t seen before they’d crossed it on a new path home the previous day.
A stream filled with trout that would make a fantastic meal.
She smiled to herself as she got up and bathed and dressed. She did her daily laundry and then hung the garments on the drying rack. The mountain was draped in fog this morning, giving the evergreens a pale, ethereal look. Even when she approached the animal pens, they were hiding in the fog swirling over the ground.
Dragging in a deep breath, she looked at her surroundings. Funny how she’d been all over the world and seen numerous beautiful countries, even some of the Seven Wonders. But nothing compared to the rich beauty of the Wyoming mountains.
She’d been thinking hard about Alaska. Just because she was called to go didn’t mean she had to. There were plenty of other eager photographers out there who’d love the chance to take her place. She wouldn’t be missing out on much, didn’t even need the money right now when her savings account was stocked and her bills were few.
It’s you. Dammit, woman. I don’t want to talk about Alaska.
How many times had she replayed Ryan’s words in her mind? Each time, she got that same tingle.
He didn’t want her to leave either. She just had to get him to admit why. Because she wasn’t going to stay unless he asked her to, and in no uncertain terms. She wouldn’t be persuaded by his hard kisses or the way he claimed her soooo thoroughly. No, she wanted him to say the words. I want you to stay with me and share my life should do the trick.
After grabbing some fishing line and hooks that some tribesmen had taught her to always carry with her, she found a straight stick and headed for the stream. Freckles was nowhere in sight today—he was most likely with Ryan.
As she walked, her mind touched on the fawn she’d helped. The wonder of that encounter would never leave her. What else did the mountain hold in store for her? It was too easy to imagine living out her days here with Ryan, enjoying a simple life and even raising a family like the Hostlers.
Sure, she didn’t mind being around people, but she could easily go into town when she felt the itch. Aiden Roshannon had invited her to come anytime and stay with him and his family. He said she could even stay on his parents’ ranch and learn that lifestyle she’d never been around.
And Ryan could come with her.
That was if the stubborn man would admit he wasn’t so hell-bent on being alone.
She located the stream and fastened the line to the branch. Then she cast it like a fly fishermen, landing the hook and fly on the surface, amidst the rocks and bubbling water.
In less than a minute, she had the first trout hooked and her line in the water again for a second. Working for their meal did a lot to calm her, and she figured Ryan felt the same when he was on the hunt.
While she fished, she drank in her surroundings. The beauty, the sharp tang of pine that she’d forever associate with this mountain and the man who occupied it. Peace settled over her.
With a small stringer of fish ready for the frying pan, she headed back to the homestead.
First thing she noticed were the animals seemed off. Acting oddly.
The goats weren’t their usual comic selves, which had Livvy leaning against the fencepost, brows knitted. Maybe the fog was affecting their moods.
Next she talked to the pigs and tossed them an extra handful of corn. Instead of scrambling for the scattered kernels, they waddled out tentatively.
Odd.
When she reached the chicken coop, the rooster flapped wildly to try to drive her off. “What’s gotten into you animals today? You’re out of sorts. Why don’t you come out a bit early and roam?”
She held open the fence gate and they hesitantly began to filter out. After watching them for a few minutes, she went back to the fire.
Her stomach growled as she stoked the fire and settled on the stool to clean the fish, but her body was demanding sustenance—now. She went into the cabin to fetch a couple eggs and the frying pan. Lynn had taught her how to make cornbread in an iron skillet over the fire, but she was too hungry to wait for it to cook. So she cracked the eggs into the pan and set it on the grate at the edge of the fire.
Thinking about them going into town together or even to the Roshannons’ ranch had her mind wandering to them sharing a meal at a restaurant. What would he order? He was such a carnivore, she imagined steak, eggs and a side of ham would satisfy her mountain man.
She was startled from her thoughts by a fierce noise. She stood and swung around as she caught sight of Ryan, chasing the chickens back into the pen.
Taking a few steps toward him, she shook her head. “What’s going on?”
“Chickens can’t be free.”
She blinked. “Okay? What’s going on? Is the fog going to body-snatch them or something?”
He didn’t even throw her a glance as he drove the chickens back into the coop and slammed the gate.
Livvy gaped at the man. Was he back to being in one of his moods? After their emotional connection the previous night, she’d thought he was over that, though she’d intended to discuss it with him more this morning. Now they were definitely having that conversation.
She stalked across the yard to face him. He didn’t even look at her.
Folding her arms, she demanded, “What the hell’s going on with you, Stone?”
That earned her a look.
Still, he didn’t answer. He tried to skirt around her and stomp to the cabin, but she barred his way.
“This Neanderthal behavior really is getting on my nerves, Ryan. What’s your problem?”
“You can’t just let the animals out anytime you want.” He took off walking and she jogged after to block his path again.
“What’s the problem with letting them out? You let them go free every day and now—”
“Bear hanging around close, Livvy.”
She rocked on her heels. “You saw sign this morning?”
His hazel eyes shifted to hers and then away.
She jolted. “And you didn’t think to tell me?” Sure, she knew they were present on the mountain though she’d never seen one with her own two eyes and was always careful to be prepared for any threat.
He looked back to her and fixed her in his heavy stare. His eyes lacked the warmth she normally saw there, though. “I don’t need to tell you everything that goes on, Livvy. I know you carry your weapon when going to the edge of the mountain.”
“I didn’t go to the edge today. I went to that stream we crossed yesterday. Not that it matters. Bears are all over. So are coyotes, and for that matter, I could get charged by a protective mother elk. Now tell me why you would think keeping anything from me is the best idea?”
“You were safe—that’s all you needed to know.”
Her jaw joints loosened as if ready to let it drop open, but she firmed the tendons to keep that from happening. “I can’t believe you.”
Moving past her, he returned to the fire and dropped two logs onto it, smothering the flames that were now burning her eggs to a black spot on the bottom of the pan. His gaze darted to the trout waiting to be cleaned.
As if just realizing what she’d already told him, he waved at the fish. “You were at the stream? Without me? Unprotected?”
She set her hands on her hips. “After all the time I’ve spent with you, you’d think that you’d realize I’m quite capable of making my own way. Besides, you just said I was safe and it’s all I need to know.”
He grunted.
He was being so damn contrary, and she suspected he was searching for things to pick on that had absolutely nothing to do with his real problem—that he didn’t want her here. He was too weak to tell her plain.
Anger washed over her, and for a minute, she had no idea what to do with the emotion. She felt a lot of things in her life, but anger wasn’t something she dealt with daily—and never directed at the man she was in love with, which up until now, she hadn’t had either.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me about the bear sign? I’m living here too. I’m—” She cut off at the cold expression on his rugged face.
“I function on my own.”
She didn’t know what to say. There were no words.
Her anger faded, replaced by a waterfall of hurt drowning her in its current. She stared at him for what felt like an eternity but had to be only seconds.
He really wasn’t going to change. After their weeks together, he was just as stubborn, set in his ways and against having human interaction as ever. Maybe she’d gotten him out of his bad habits for a few days, but his facade was crumbling, revealing his true self.
And his life did not include her in any way, shape or form.
Abruptly, she turned on her heel and strode to the drying rack, pulling the clothing off like she was set to tear it to shreds. Better than tearing into Ryan, she told herself.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
Ignoring him, she stormed into the cabin and located her pack. She crammed the wet clothes into the bottom and started rounding up her other few possessions. The hairbrush went in next followed by her toothbrush and toothpaste. Finally, she took the bar of milk and honey soap.
“You’re packing? That’s my soap.” His voice sounded with incredulousness.
She made a show of stuffing the bar into her pack. “I happen to love this soap and I’m taking it with me.”
He gaped at her as she whirled through the cabin like a tornado, throwing everything she owned into the pack and only slowing down to carefully stow away her camera equipment.
The fact that he watched her without saying a word to stop her from packing to go irked her more than him keeping information about the brown bear hanging around the homestead from her. If she needed more evidence that Ryan didn’t want to share his life with her, this was it.
She tipped her chin up a notch. “You never had any intention of letting me into your life, did you, Ryan? I pushed myself on you and have been fooling myself into thinking you actually liked having me here even if you couldn’t admit it.”
“Woman, what are you talking about? I did let you in. You’re in my cabin. In my bed.”
“But you’ve always thought it was temporary. Admit it.”
His throat worked.
“That’s what I thought.” She picked up her pack and looped it over her shoulder then grabbed her camera bag and slung it across her body. The fact she didn’t have a camera around her neck, ready to point and click, was testament to her emotional state. She’d never consider going down the mountain without it at the ready.
At the door, he caught her by the shoulder. She spun back to face him, hoping by some chance he might ask her not to go, apologize, anything to let her know she was important to him.
But he remained silent, just staring at her.
Damn his granite expression and angular jaw locked up tight so no words could be uttered.
“I came here to thank you for saving my life.”
He steeled his jaw more. Against emotions? Fat chance. Ryan Stone was imprisoned in his own damn stubborn self.
She turned back for the door.
“Liv.”
She paused, heart hammering in her temples. It shook her teeth.
He didn’t speak, but when she took a step over the threshold, he grabbed her arm and whirled her to face him. She met his stare and tears nearly rushed up and out of her.
The last thing she wanted was to leave Ryan. She freakin’ loved the jerk.
“Just say the words, Ryan. You want me to stay. Say them and I will.”
* * * * *
“You can’t go down the mountain in this fog. It’s not safe.”
His chest burned but he couldn’t think about it. He had to let her go—for her own safety. This morning he’d found the carcass of a fawn near the place where she’d rescued one the previous day. Whether or not it was the same animal, he had no clue. But seeing it had been a harsh reminder of how quickly life could be snuffed out.
He’d also run into Aiden Roshannon, who’d come up to pass along a message meant for Livvy—her people were requesting she check in and get the itinerary for her trip to Alaska. They needed her to respond immediately.
She was going, if Ryan had to put her on the jet himself.
All the way back to his cabin, he’d wondered what would have happened if she was in harm’s way—again. In Afghanistan, he’d avoided getting involved with her knowing their entanglement would keep her there and then she’d never leave as he hoped.
Well, she’d left all right—injured, forever scarred by his failed heroics. He couldn’t let that happen a second time.
She blinked up at him, eyes devoid of emotion as if she had already closed herself off to him.
Goddamn, that hurt.
“Fine. I’ll wait till the fog clears.” She went back inside and slammed the cabin door.
He stared at the slab of wood for long seconds, burning to burst inside and tell her that he was in love with her, dammit—and didn’t she see that he was just trying to keep her safe?
Then he raked his fingers through his hair, suddenly angry that he’d let her talk him into cutting it and his beard. He stomped to the fire. Her eggs were still burning, the obnoxious smell doing nothing for his mood. He kicked the pan from the flames and glared at the fish needing cleaned.
At least he’d keep his hands busy so he wasn’t tempted to go into the cabin and put them on Livvy. Her sweet, delectable curves would be the only thing to soothe him right now.
She doesn’t belong here, he reminded himself. Sure, she could navigate the mountain like she’d lived here her entire life. Could catch a stringer of fish to feed them and knew how to keep an ornery asshole like him in line.
At least for a little while.
But he wasn’t cut out for a relationship, and Livvy needed to head to Alaska. He’d been stupid and selfish, keeping her with him all this time. That first day, he should have accepted the thanks she’d come here to deliver and sent her on her way.
Instead, he’d yanked her into his bed, his life and now she was deep in his soul.
“Fuck.” He yanked out his pocketknife and started cleaning the fish. Time passed while he stewed on his thoughts. Livvy never came out.
When the sun began to set and the fog never lifted, Ryan had the gratification that she couldn’t leave at all tonight. Though it wouldn’t change the course of things. She still had to leave.
At dark, she came out to use the outhouse and went back inside without a look in his direction. He removed his jacket and rolled it out on the ground before the fire to settle in for the night. The hard earth did nothing for his mood and neither did the rocks under his head. One cut into his ear.
But that pain was nothing compared to the silence in the cabin. Livvy was totally quiet. Not even a sniffle or sob could be heard. She’d hardened herself against him.
Oh yeah, that hurt more than anything.
* * * * *
Livvy lay watching the skylight all night long, just waiting for the first fingers of dawn to spread through the sky so she could leave. She’d heard Ryan getting up and down several times during the night too. Served him right. At least she could go knowing that neither of them had gotten any sleep.
As soon as the darkness of the cabin faded to gray, she got up and grabbed her pack. There would be enough light to travel by. Enough to—
A crash and a dog’s violent yip raised the hair all over her body. Terror washed over her, leaving behind a trace of ice in her blood.
She ran to the door and flung it open. Before Livvy could even wrap her head around what was happening, Ryan’s roar sounded and Freckles whined.
“Oh God.” Livvy stumbled over the threshold, grabbing her own weapon from her pack as she went. She paused to take in the scene.
Ryan standing off to the side of the cabin, shotgun to his bare shoulder, the sights trained on the brown bear that had obviously just taken a swipe at Freckles. The dog lay on his side bleeding.
“Oh God.” Her whisper was ragged.
“Don’t move, Livvy.”
She flashed back to Afghanistan and didn’t know if she could listen to him this time, not when he obviously didn’t see what she saw.
Could she pull the trigger on the target in front of her? The pistol grip felt slippery under her sweaty palm, but she dragged in a deep breath and squeezed the cold steel beneath her fingertip.