Nerves jumped in Stevie’s stomach as she stood in front of the camera. They hadn't done a music video before and she felt self-conscious and stupid trying to mime the words to the song and act the way the directed wanted. She was frustrated and annoyed and rehearsals had not gone well. The director decided to push ahead anyway in the hopes that she would settle once they were rolling. That hadn't turned out so well.

Nate came up and stood behind her, snaking his arms around her waist like the choreographer had told him. They were supposed to sway and she was meant to lean her head back against his shoulder. It was meant to look romantic but she was stiff and jerky. As much as she tried to fulfill the brief, she just couldn't relax enough to make it work.

“How’re you doing?” Nate whispered in her ear.

“Not good,” she whispered back.

He pulled her tighter against him and the pressure of his chest against her back released some of her tension. She closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder. He swayed her gently and she let him, letting her muscles go to jelly as he lightly nibbled on her neck. He spun her around so she faced him and he pulled her close, his hand burrowing in her hair and pressing her head against his chest. She breathed in his familiar scent and let him guide her. Their song played in the background but she wasn't paying attention. She was too caught up in the man that she wanted desperately but couldn't have. The worst part was that she didn't really understand why she couldn't have him. Couldn't he feel the chemistry between them? Couldn't he feel how perfectly she fit into his arms?

Nate tilted her chin up so that he could look into his eyes. Stevie loved the color of his eyes, they were so blue, like the color of a summer sky. She could get lost in them.

He dipped his head and brushed his lips lightly across hers. She sighed and melted into him, her lips parting slightly as her eyes fluttered shut. He kissed her again, firmer this time but not rushed. He sipped from her lips, caressed them, nibbled at them. Then his tongue swept across her lower lip and she gasped. He took advantage of her open mouth to deepen the kiss. Drawing her in with his slow seduction.

Stevie’s hands seemed to move of their own volition, sliding up over his chest. The muscles beneath his worn t-shirt were firm and warm, their heat reaching her through the fabric of his shirt. Her hands slowly rose over the rounded flesh of his shoulders and then the corded muscles of his neck until they buried themselves in his hair at his collar. His tongue slipped into her mouth and she mewled softly. He swallowed her whimper as his hands tightened around her, pressing her up against the full length of him. She felt the hard rod of his cock in his jeans and couldn't help pushing the v of her thighs against it.

There were too many clothes between them. She needed to feel his skin on hers. She let her hand drift down his arms until she reached his waist and the hem of his shirt. Her fingers gripped the edge and jerked it up so she could feel the skin beneath.

“And cut!”

Nate broke the kiss and Stevie looked up at him, confused.

“That was perfect. Excellent work. We need more scenes like that.”

Stevie blinked, slowly coming back to reality. Her cheeks flushed furiously with the realization of what she had nearly done in front of a camera and crew.

“Oh God,” she whispered as she dropped her head and rested her forehead on Nate’s chest. He hadn't let her go and she was happy to stay where she was until she had gotten her dignity back.

Nate pinched her chin between his fingers and tilted her head up.

“You okay now?” he asked, a cheeky grin playing around his lips.

She slapped his chest with a hand and tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let her.

“You can't go yet,” he whispered in her ear and then purposely looked down to where they were joined at the hip.

“Oh,” she breathed and then canted her hips into him with her own mischievous grin.

He groaned and closed his eyes. “Vixen,” he muttered.

He hadn't been wholly unaffected by their kiss and it made her feel better. Nate had done these videos before, she'd seen the results on CMT. He often had a woman or two plastered up against him or half naked in his bed. Did he get a hard-on with all those women too, or was it just her?

“What are you thinking?”

She shrugged and put some breathing space between them but kept him covered from prying eyes.

“Does this always happen?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

His cheeks pinked and she had to hold back the giggle that threatened to bubble out of her throat. Nate was embarrassed.

“Ah, no,” he said with a wry grin. “This is a first for me.”

Was it wrong for her to feel happy about that? She liked that he hadn't gotten carried away with the other women that he had made music videos with.

“Okay, let's jump to the next scene,” the director called. “Stevie and Nate, take a seat and we’ll get Jace and Hillary up.”

The other members of the band had been paired with extras and they didn't seem to be having anywhere near the problems that Stevie was.

Nate took her hand and pulled her over to the row of chairs that had been set up under a marquee for them. Someone handed them both a bottle of cold water and then a couple of makeup artists and hairdressers approached to touch them up.

“Thanks,” she said.

“For what?”

“For helping me then. I know I'm not very good at all this.”

He smiled gently at her. “It's your first time, of course it is going to feel weird. You just need to pretend that the crew isn't there and that the camera isn't rolling.”

“Is that why you kissed me? To make me forget?”

Nate didn’t answer, just sipped the water from his bottle and she had a sinking feeling in her stomach.

Nate walked away from the video shoot frustrated and with a serious fucking hard-on that could pound nails. He knew he was sending Stevie mixed messages, but he couldn’t help himself when he was around her. Some switch in his brain had been flipped and now when he saw her all he could think of was getting her naked and burying himself inside her. Having to get close to her during the video made his lizard brain take over. Coupled with her nervousness and the need to distract her, he’d taken liberties. He shouldn’t have, he knew that, but he couldn’t help it.

Now his dick was going to have a permanent impression of his zipper. He needed to get away from her and give himself some space so that he could play tonight. Singing with her was a whole other deal and with the adrenalin spike that always came from performing if he didn’t get his raging libido under control he was going to turn into a caveman. It wouldn’t take much provocation to drag her by the hair back to his trailer in order to satisfy his base urges but that was wrong. As much as it would feel good, he couldn’t go there, not now. Not yet.

He stomped into his trailer and headed for the shower. Cold water was what he needed. It was as hot as Satan’s ass, which was not helping the frustration he was feeling. Nate stripped out of his clothes and stood under the cool spray trying desperately to get his thoughts and his body under control. It was easy to forget his plan and to just let the lust takeover, but he wanted more than that with Stevie. She was not just a quick lay that he could walk away from and forget her name the next day. The woman was under his skin and the scary thought was that she had been under his skin for most of his life, only he hadn’t realized it.

He soaped his body up and gripped his aching cock. His thoughts went to yesterday and the way he had wanted to spread Stevie out on the little table in his trailer. She would have looked so beautiful; her lips plump and pink from his kisses, her clothes in disarray, her hair spread out wildly around her. He groaned a stroked himself to the image. There was something so intoxicating about her. He remembered the way she used to look up at him with her lust-filled eyes, her cheeks flushed with desire. And the sounds she made when he touched her. That little noise in the back of her throat when he took a nipple into his mouth, the long, low moan when he entered her, and the way she cried out his name as she came. His memories of their time together in Nashville were never far away.

His strokes got faster and he leaned against the wall of the shower stall. The cold water was supposed to have taken the edge off, but he was too far gone. He needed the release or there was no way he was going to get through tonight. He missed the sweet scent of her skin, the softness of it. He loved that under all that creamy skin she had strength and supple muscles. He was endlessly fascinated with the way she quivered under his touch. He had been with a lot of women, but with Stevie it was like discovering the joy of sex all over again. Before her it had become some sort of transaction. He needed an escape and the woman, whoever she was, wanted to tick off some fantasy list - I slept with a rock star. Being with Stevie was different, it wasn’t just an act that he did with his body to relieve an ache. With Stevie it was a holistic experience - body, mind, and spirit.

He felt his balls draw up and tighten as his orgasm gained traction. He imagined her here in his shower kneeling between his knees and looking up at him as she slid the hard length of him into her mouth. God what he wouldn’t give right now for that to be reality. He could just imagine how it would feel to push his cock between those plump lips, to have her blue eyes looking up at him, her lashes starred with drops of water. He closed his eyes and pumped his hand as he lost himself to the fantasy. He grunted as he came, his dick pulsing as he ejaculated into his hand. He sagged against the wall of the shower and felt… loss. He wanted Stevie. He wanted her more than he had wanted anything in his life, even his career, but the timing was shit. He needed to wait.

How would their lives have been different if he’d been attracted to Stevie when they were younger? Would he have still taken Gina’s offer if the two of them had had an intimate relationship? He would like to think that he would’ve said no, but he wasn’t sure that he could have turned it down. He had been too young and immature. Too hurt by his parents’ disapproval and too determined to prove them wrong. Gina’s offer had seemed like a godsend at the time. He had never really believed his own press but he had made bold claims to his parents and he needed to show them that they were wrong about him. Even if deep inside he believed they were right. And that was the rub. He’d had to prove something to himself as well. He’d had to prove that he could make it without Stevie or he would’ve always thought that their success was solely because of her.

He shut off the water and climbed out of the stall. He dried off quickly and then walked through the trailer to his bed with just a towel around his waist. He closed the bedroom door and stripped off the towel, lying down on the bed naked. An afternoon nap was what he needed before the gig tonight.

Singing with Stevie again was like putting on his favorite jeans. There was something about the two of them making music that just felt right. They had done a couple of cut down gigs before going on tour, but the set they were doing that night was just like old times, only better. They gelled as a group and Nate felt more comfortable playing with Court’n Jacks than he ever had playing with his stage band. It was comfortable and yet exciting at the same time. A feeling of being at home and on an adventure. Nate didn't try to analyze it too much, he just wanted to soak it up and enjoy it.

They had done a couple of his new songs and then they did ‘One Summer Night,’ a song that had been a favorite with the locals and the one they had performed for the Apple Orchard Festival all those years ago. It sounded better now; they had both grown as musicians and performers and the rest of the band had rounded out the sound. The crowd had loved it. The crowd had loved everything they had done during their set, which was the ego boost that Nate needed. He’d been beginning to think that he couldn't win back the fans he had lost.

When the crowd quieted, he began to strum the opening to ‘Him.’ It was a powerful ballad and it now had more meaning to him than it ever had in the past. Stevie had written it when they were still a duo and he'd always sung the hell out of it, but tonight there was more of his heart in it.

Seeing her with Carson, thinking they were together had made this song personal. Even now, after knowing the truth, he still couldn't rid himself of the jealousy. His own mother had tried to set them up just the other night and Nate knew that somewhere in the audience, Carson was standing there thinking of ways to win Stevie back. The cocktail of emotions that he was feeling poured into his voice making it more husky, more growly. Stevie watched him from beneath lowered lashes and when her voice joined with his he could hear her heart in it too. Was this how she felt when she had seen him with other women? Tom said that she'd been in love with him since they were teenagers. Had she written this song because of the way she felt then?

Oh fuck. She had. And he hadn't known it. All the times they sang it together she had been trying to tell him how she felt and he had never even noticed. He did not deserve this woman. How was it that she was here with him now? He had hurt her far more than he had ever realized. Taking Gina’s contract was only the last straw that broke the camel’s back. He had been hurting her almost daily before that and yet she had stood by him through it all and he had been totally oblivious.

The song ended and his throat felt tight. Stevie’s eyes glistened and he suspected that they were unshed tears. Maybe she had been remembering all those times he hurt her too. He was such a fucking asshole. He continually whined about his parents’ ambivalence towards him and he had treated Stevie the same way. He had taken her for granted and then walked away from her without looking back.

He bent down to pick up the bottle of water at his feet and chugged it while the crowd applauded. They were up to the last song on the run sheet. The song that was currently charting and had brought him and Stevie back together. He had written ‘No Good For Me’ for her but it was only now that he realized it was about him. He was the man in the song that was no good for her. He thought he'd been writing it about Carson, but Carson could give her the world. Nate was the one that would pull her down if he got too close to her. He was like poison, the bad apple that spoiled the barrel, the wrench that ruined the works. He always had been. He had ruined his parents’ perfect record, he had ruined Stevie’s chances at stardom and he had even ruined his own career when he'd tried to make it on his own.

The reality of what he had to do sat heavy in his stomach and made it hard to sing. It didn't matter how far he ran or how much he tried to change, the fact was that he was the bad penny. If he loved Stevie, and he really did, then he needed to stay away from her. As much as she felt like his salvation, he couldn't taint her new life like he had her old one. She would be much better off if he just stayed clear. Her career was just starting to take off and Nate wanted to see her soar. He was a dead weight that would hold her back and he needed to cut her loose.

The cheers and screams from the crowd barely registered with him as they finished the set and bowed. They left the stage, Nate in a fugue. The others danced around him with excitement, but he just felt empty. He was a hollowed out husk as he understood the far reaching effects of the revelation he had just had. The dream of making a comeback and then finding Stevie and finally having a life together would never happen. He would only ruin her life just as he ruined everything else.