CHAPTER FOUR
Theresa walked into the hotel restaurant and looked for a place to sit. After everything that happened today, she was tired, confused, and uncertain. But most of all, she was hungry.
As she turned the corner toward a secluded area that had some open seating, she saw him.
Levi.
Almost stopping in her tracks, she stared in his direction. Damn, he was so fucking sexy. She had no idea how she continued to resist him. Her willpower had never been that strong, but with him, she'd walked away. Multiple times.
How did a woman walk away from someone like him? She knew she had issues with love and commitment, but was she being her own worst enemy?
With Levi, she knew it could be amazing. Hell, even with what they had between them now, it was something she held on to during the dark and quiet times. Then why did she keep running from him?
She was afraid.
Afraid their passion would burn hot, and then fizzle quick. That one day, he would come home and tell her she wasn't good enough anymore. That right there was the crux of the issue and why she refused to admit what she truly felt for the man sitting across the room.
What if she were a passing fancy for him? What if two, three, even ten years from now, the desire he felt for her disappeared one day? Could she handle something like that?
No. She couldn't take the risk.
She couldn't--wouldn't--put herself in that situation. If she couldn't be certain it was the real deal, then she wouldn't even go there. It wasn't worth it.
She immediately thought of the vial in her bag. What if...
Dismissing the thought before it fully formed, she shook her head in disbelief. Was she really thinking about using a love potion on Levi? Hell, she couldn't believe using it was a consideration. It had to be a joke. A novelty trick that would never work.
But what if it did? What if she could be sure? To know the love he felt for her would be all encompassing?
Ignoring the voice in her head pressuring her to do something bold and daring, she lifted her chin in the universal sign of greeting.
Levi lifted his drink to her in greeting and nodded to the seat in front of him. Now that she knew he'd seen her, she took a deep breath and walked toward him. There was no other choice. Either she went to him, or he would come to her. Levi wasn't the type to be ignored. If they were both here, in close proximity to each other, Levi wouldn’t allow himself to go too much longer without having her by his side. Even she knew that.
Once she arrived at his table, he gave a small smile and motioned to the vacant chair across from him. She remembered the last time she'd seen that smirk on his face. It was about six days ago, when he'd cornered her at their favorite bar after a night of celebrating his birthday. His six feet two height gave him a slight edge over her, as the top of her head barely came to his chin. When their friendship had blossomed into something more, she'd been surprised to learn the height difference was much more of a turn-on than she first thought.
His mere presence affected her deep down. No matter how much she tried to pull away from him and never look back, there always seemed to be something about him that drew her to his side.
"What are you doing here?" she asked. The minute the words left her lips, she cringed at how dumb the question sounded. She knew why he was in New Orleans. It was the same reason she was here.
"I'm having a drink," he said with a smile.
"Yeah, I know you're drinking. I can see it in your hand," she said in a droll tone. "I'm asking why are you here in the hotel at this time of day? I thought you would be out on Bourbon Street with your buddies. You know, visiting the strip clubs. Doing what you do best."
He took a sip and looked at her over the glass. "And what is it that I do best, Theresa?"
Feeling anxious and on edge because of the recent thoughts swirling around her brain, she snapped out the first thing that popped in her head. "Whoring around. Isn't that what men like you do?" she finished.
"Now, darlin', why would you think that?" he asked with a slight smile. "I'm just a normal guy sitting in a restaurant, having a drink, about to eat some dinner. It's not my fault you walked over here into my space."
"I did not. I was hungry, and it's been a long day." Still standing up next to him, she fidgeted slightly.
Did she leave? Ask to sit down?
"Theresa, baby, you wound me. You know I only want one woman at a time in my bed."
Gritting her teeth to stop her mouth from running away, she tried to ignore him. Did he know how often his words hurt her? No, he didn't. Even if he did know, she doubted he would care.
Theresa rolled her eyes. "Whatever."
"Are you going to sit down and join me? No need to stand there all day. Come on, beautiful, have a seat with me. I won't bite--well, not unless you ask me nicely in that soft voice of yours I enjoy so much," he said as he lifted his hand and beckoned the waiter.
"Pervert," she grumbled, sitting down in the chair across from him.
"Just how you like me," he returned with a smile.
After giving their orders to their waiter, they both sat back and took in the ambiance of the hotel. The silence was comfortable and soothing. Neither of them felt the need to fill the space with mindless words.
They'd always been like that. She'd known Levi for more than three years, due to her friendship with Bridgette. From the first moment they met, they'd gotten under each other's skin, but not in the way one would expect.
He'd been a playboy who always had the latest arm candy hanging on to him. On the other hand, she'd never had anyone by her side and he'd always seemed to take joy in reminding her of her failure. Until one night two years ago when she'd finally let her inhibitions down and given in to desire.
Maybe she expected that one night to be their only time together. Little did she know, he'd become an addiction. If she didn't get her fix of him at least once a month, she started to become anxious and bothered.
She would question why he came around. Chastising herself for giving into him so many times when he never said he wanted anything more than sex from her. She would give herself long lectures, promising to not let him in again when he came around. But every time he called or knocked, she would open the door.
It didn't mean they didn't still try to get under each other's skin, because they did. When with their friends, the barbs would fly all night. After all, they couldn't give their friends the slightest clue they had something going on behind closed doors.
But at the end of the night, once everyone parted and went their separate ways, he'd be at her door, begging her to let him in.
And she would. Every. Fucking. Time.
Thinking about the make-up sex sure to come after this little skirmish was getting her hot and bothered. The man knew how to throw down in bed, and he knew it. She'd never had a sexual partner like him before. His lips explored every inch of her body from head to toe, tasting her skin as she shivered beneath him. It never ceased to amaze her how quickly his fingers could make her orgasm. Mouth opening and closing in a pantomime of a scream, her body would tense and shudder as he would push her body to the edge and back.
Glancing over at him, she studied his profile. The dark stubble of his five-o'clock shadow covering his strong jaw gave him a rugged, sexy look. Long, lean fingers gripped his glass and she had visions of what those fingers could do to her body.
He must have gotten a haircut for the wedding, because his dark hair was shorter than normal. She wanted to run her fingers through the soft like she did when they lay in bed together. It was one of her favorite things, playing with his hair as they relaxed after sex. It was the only time she felt content in their relationship.
He was quite irresistible if she was willing to be honest. If they were alone, she was positive her ass would be on his lap. Her mouth pressed against his, teeth nibbling on his bottom lip. Her pussy began to weep at the picture forming in her head.
The first night they'd slept together, she'd watched him sleep in the bed they'd shared. Her fingers had run through the thick strands of his hair, enjoying the feel of him next to her. The heat from his body warming hers. It had taken them a while to get to that point. Having him so close to her for an entire night, she didn't want to waste even one second by sleeping. There would be time for sleep another day.
Although she'd wanted to forget him and the way he'd made her feel, she couldn't bring herself to give her body to another man. Somehow, it felt wrong.
And while she was still holding on to the feelings and memories they'd made over the last couple of years, he'd always seemed to consider their relationship an afterthought.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked, his voice breaking through the memories and the what-if questions that continued to plague her.
"Nothing," she murmured, while lifting her gaze to his.
"That didn't look like nothing to me. Or maybe the question is, whom were you thinking about?" he pushed. Leaning closer to her, he turned on the charm. "Come on, beautiful. Who has your mind in a whirl?"
"No one worth mentioning. Do you always have to needle me? You can't seem to stop."
Leaning back, he took a sip of his drink. "Why would I stop? It's so much fun."
"You're a child," she snapped.
"No, I think you know better than that, sweetheart. I'm no child, that's for damn sure," he said with a smile.
Just then, one of the restaurant waitresses came over to see if they wanted anything else. A more apt description would be she was there to see if Levi wanted anything else. From the moment she'd come over to the table, Theresa's presence at the table may as well have been nonexistent.
Rolling her eyes in exasperation, Theresa wondered why she bothered to think Levi would settle down. Especially with her. Not when he had flocks of women throwing themselves at him on a daily basis.
Just once, she wanted his sole focus to be on her and her alone. Was that so much to ask?
Why wasn't she the one with men falling over themselves when she was around? Not multiple men. No. She wasn't that greedy. In all honesty, the only man that mattered to her was too damn busy flirting with the waitress.
Maybe flirting was too strong of a word. Being cordial wasn't flirting. That would be true when it involved any man other than Levi.
Okay, fine, maybe it was her jealousy coming through.
Then again, what reason would she have to be jealous? He wasn't hers. Never would be.
But God, she wanted him to be. If only for one more night.
If she could have one final night with him, she could let him go.
Couldn't she?
Whatever happened this weekend, it was time to decide what to do about Levi. And whatever it was they were doing. Casual sex could be fun, but she wanted more. Being in limbo like this was killing her. The defeated thought went through her head as she looked over at the man who'd held her heart for far too long.
Even on the occasions they lay tangled in each other's arms, he never gave any sign that she meant more to him. His mouth would never utter the words, even as she silently begged him to do so. It wasn't what they were about and she both knew it. Neither was ready to admit this thing between them was deeper, stronger than it was.
And right when she'd accept her place in his world, he would turn to her. And the look in his eyes would convey things to her that his mouth still refused to say out loud.
When they were in the same place for more than a minute, he'd never hesitate to seek her out. Always starting a conversation about some of the most mundane things. But once the conversation began, she couldn't walk away. They'd stand in the same spot for hours arguing with one another about stupid things. All the while, their friends would come and go around them. Most of them muttering under their breath about how the two of them behaved like an old married couple.
"Did you want any dessert?" His voice called out over her internal meanderings.
Caught daydreaming, she looked over at Levi and the waitress, who were both waiting for her to respond. "No, thanks. I'll have another dirty martini with bleu cheese-stuffed olives."
After the waitress walked away, Levi looked over at her. "Planning something fun tonight?"
"No. Why do you ask?"
"Just wondering. I've only seen you drink two dirty martinis when you're ready to do something you've never tried before. Something I know will be fun. For both of us," he responded.
"How do you know when I'm ready to have fun?" she countered.
"I know more than you think," he said with a smile.
Not sure how to take that, she turned her head away to watch as people streamed in and out of the restaurant. Levi had picked the perfect spot to sit for people-watching.
"Why do you continue to deny what's between us? You know we're good together." His quiet words broke into her reverie.
Her heartbeat sped up at his words. They were good together, maybe too good. She couldn't take the chance she'd fall in love with a man who would trade her in for a new model without a second thought.
Why take the risk? Why give herself over to someone when it wasn't a sure thing?
As she was thinking about the litany of reasons she didn't want to risk falling in love with a man who couldn't love her back, her purse began to fall off the chair. Moving quickly, she grabbed up the items that were beginning to tip out and her hand grasped the vial that she’d received by the old lady at the voodoo shop. Her instructions on how to use the drink came back to her.
Trust that destiny has led you to me for a reason. The old lady's words came back to her again.
"I deny it because I don't think you're serious," she said cautiously, returning to the conversation.
"Unless you take a chance, you'll never know for sure. You're almost as bad as me. You close yourself off from everyone. I'm just trying to make sure you don't forget how to live." Lifting out of his chair, he continued speaking. "Think about that while I'm gone. We're here for three more days in a city where we can both have some fun. What's the harm in letting yourself live a little?"
She watched him walk to the rear of the restaurant where the restrooms were located. No more than thirty seconds later, the waitress dropped off their drinks.
Now was the moment of truth.
Could she do it? Theresa only had a few moments before Levi would return. It was now or never. If the old lady was right, then this potion could give her what she wanted most.
If it wasn't real, if all they had between them was great sex, then she'd walk away and never look back. But at least she'd know for sure.
Making a split-second decision, she pulled the vial from her purse, unscrewed the cap, and poured.