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Steel Toes & Stilettos (Sweet & Rugged in Montana Book 2) by Maggie Dallen (5)

Chapter Five

Dax wished he could have taken a moment. Just one. He needed some distance, some space. He needed to get his head on straight because right now he felt more addled than he’d ever felt before.

But he didn’t have a moment, not unless he wanted to leave Katy stranded out here, waiting on him to get his act together. He helped her into the truck, well aware that she hadn’t spoken a word since that kiss.

That kiss.

Man, what a kiss. It didn’t even belong in the same category as any other kiss he’d experienced. This one was…earth-shaking. He hadn’t meant to do it. He didn’t know what came over him, but he couldn’t have stopped himself if he’d tried.

Well, if she’d backed away or shown any sign of disgust he would have stopped. But she’d looked up at him with those impossibly blue eyes and he’d…lost his mind.

Apparently he had completely lost his mind.

What was he doing kissing a tourist? Worse, a tourist with whom Alice was trying to conduct business?

No, worst of all—what was he doing kissing an uptight city girl who would be leaving in a matter of days?

He slid into the driver’s seat and glanced over, but she was looking out the window, firmly ignoring him. Not that he blamed her.

He started the truck. Well, at least she would be gone soon.

The thought should have been reassuring so why did it make him want to turn into Tarzan and throw her over his shoulder? Katy mine. You no leave.

He was being ridiculous, but he couldn’t seem to stop it. For a guy who prided himself on being laid back and sensible, he didn’t even recognize himself this morning.

Heck, he hadn’t recognized himself since the moment he’d started talking to her on the plane. He’d been teasing her, basically pulling her pigtails like he was some overgrown child. And now when he was on his own property and put in charge of showing her around like the businessman he was?

He’d gone and kissed her!

Maybe it was all the talk of his divorce, he told himself. Maybe he’d just been feeling the aftereffects of the official end of his marriage. After all, he was free now to pursue another relationship

Just like that his mind leapt ahead to what it would be like to be in a relationship with Katy. To hear that laugh on a daily basis, to tease her whenever he wanted, to have every right to kiss her any time and any place.

He shut that down instantly. He could not have a relationship with Katy, and that was that. Even if she was open to the idea—which she most likely wasn’t—it was physically impossible.

His life was here, and her life was not.

It was that simple.

An inner voice taunted him. As if there was anything simple about Katy Hunter…or the way he felt when he was around her.

He glanced over once more and this time he caught her looking in his direction before she quickly looked away. His heart thumped painfully in his chest at that look. She’d looked…vulnerable. Scared, even.

Ah heck, he hadn’t meant to do that.

“I’m sorry.”

Her head jerked as she looked in his direction and then she gave him a small, shy smile. “Please don’t apologize.”

He frowned at the dirt road ahead of them as they drove toward their destination. “But I am sorry and that shouldn’t have

“Seriously,” she interrupted, louder this time. “Please don’t apologize.”

He glanced over in surprise at her vehemence, his surprise growing as that pink flush crept up her cheeks again.

“It’s just…” She cleared her throat and clasped her hands politely in her lap. “It was a nice kiss.”

He had to fight to hold back a laugh. A nice kiss? That was the understatement of the century. He had no idea what he was supposed to say to that. His heart was doing a happy dance that she wasn’t angry or hurt over it. “I wouldn’t want you to think I was taking advantage and

She let out a snort of amused disgust that had him glancing over in surprise once again.

“There you go again,” she said. “Mr. Chivalrous.”

“Why do you make that sound like a bad thing?” He was honestly perplexed. He’d known many women and not one of them seemed to think that being old-fashioned and gentlemanly was a crime.

Not until Katy.

She sighed. “Look, I get that you’re a good guy. A nice guy.”

Somehow he got the feeling that was not a compliment but he held his tongue.

“But I’ve had my fill of men looking out for me,” she said.

Her sharp tone had him looking over once more, but her expression gave nothing away.

“I guess I can understand that.” He tried to keep his voice mild but he felt a strange desperate need to understand her. He couldn’t have explained it to anyone, not even himself. But in some ways he felt like he knew her. From the moment she’d stepped on that plane, he’d felt this recognition like meeting an old friend from a former life or something. But then there were parts of her that he didn’t understand or that she kept hidden and he hated that.

Why it was so important the he understood her, he couldn’t say. But it was. And this, he knew, this was key. It was critical to why she reacted to him the way she did—all fire and ice.

The fire part he loved—the memory of that kiss filled him with warmth all over again—but the ice queen defense she hid behind? He wanted to be rid of that for good.

Maybe that was why he pushed the issue when she remained quiet. “Is it so wrong to want to look out for you?”

He wasn’t talking about himself.

Was he?

He wasn’t certain and that shocked the life out of him. She seemed surprised too, judging by her quick look.

“I don’t need you to look after me,” she said.

He opened his mouth to deny that he’d meant himself. He hadn’t.

Had he?

He couldn’t quite get the words out. He didn’t know what he’d meant, to be honest. He had a feeling he was treading into murky depths here and that he should take some time to think this through. But at the same time he wasn’t sure how to backtrack in this conversation and

“Unless there are bears involved,” she added quietly. “You can totally protect me from bears.”

He grinned and saw that she was giving him a small smile in return. She was clearly trying to defuse the situation and for that he was grateful. Normally that would be his job but he wasn’t acting like himself at all these days.

She turned back to face the view in front of them and he found himself waiting excitedly to see her reaction as they turned a corner around a ridge and the north side of the property came into view.

He wasn’t disappointed. She gasped loudly at the sweeping view before her. He couldn’t have planned it better if he’d tried. Antelope were running over a hillside to the left while hawks soared overhead. The ranch spread out in a green blanket as far as the eye could see, tucked in by the distant view of mountaintops that never failed to keep life in perspective.

It was humbling to live in the shadow of such natural greatness, and the sight now was just what he needed to get a grip on his sanity.

“It’s amazing,” she said, her voice hushed with awe.

He nodded. There were no words to describe it so he didn’t even try.

He pulled over at a lookout point, letting her absorb it in silence, the way he liked to do when he was riding the range. He typically enjoyed the view even more on a horse with just the wind blowing.

Although…he looked over and watched her taking it in. He wasn’t sure the view had ever been more breathtaking than it was today.

His breath left him in a rush and he had the most incredible sensation of weightlessness as time seemed to stand still. Life came down to this. Now. Katy and him, this view, and the silence between them.

For one heartbeat, his life felt perfect. Complete. Like everything up until now had been leading to this. He’d never been much of a “everything happens for a reason” kind of guy, but he felt a rush of gratitude for everything that had brought him here.

No, everything that had brought her here…to him.

The struggling cattle operation, even having to fly to Seattle to sign divorce papers—all of those hardships had brought him to this moment and he couldn’t regret them, not for anything in the world.

She let out a long sigh. “I know I love living in cities,” she said quietly, her words bursting a hole in his bubble of perfection as he was reminded of the fact that they lived in different worlds. “I know that there are benefits,” she continued, her gaze still fixed on the distant horizon. “Culture and food and all that good stuff. But right now?” She turned and gave him a smile that pierced his heart. “Right now I’m having a hard time figuring out what on earth we’re doing living on top of each other like that.”

He let out a laugh at the genuine amazement in her voice. “I ask myself that every time I visit the city,” he said with a shake of his head. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand it.”

She cocked her head to the side, her eyes dancing with amusement that made him want to forget all his responsibilities, drop everything, and follow her to the ends of the earth.

“That’s because you’ve never had truly amazing Chinese food,” she said. Her tone was so earnest, he let his head fall back as he laughed.

Man, this woman got to him. He had to remind himself again that she couldn’t be a part of his life for much longer. She didn’t belong here just like he didn’t belong in her world. But that didn’t change the fact that whether she was irritating him or making him laugh, she was breaking down the barriers he hadn’t even known he’d put up.

One thing was for certain—she affected him. She got through to him in a way he’d never experienced. It was like he was seeing the sun and the stars for the first time in years. Maybe it was his parents’ death, or his quick marriage and then split with Shannon, or the struggling years of loneliness ever since as he took on the sole responsibility for the ranch….

He supposed it was a combination of all of them that had led to this feeling that he’d been living one long winter for far too long. And then along came Katy, needling him, getting a rise out of him, entertaining him, and stirring up a passion he’d thought he’d never feel again.

But this was so much more than what he’d felt for Shannon. He and Shannon had been high school sweethearts—they were great friends more than anything. There’d never been some great love affair between them, just a mutual respect and a desire to

Oh heck. He let out a huff of amusement as the realization struck him square in the chest.

“What’s so funny?” she asked.

He shook his head, debating whether to say it aloud. He didn’t necessarily want to bring up that heavy conversation again, and if he did, he didn’t want to give her even more ammunition for thinking he had overinflated protective instincts.

But she was watching him, waiting for his response, and he couldn’t bring himself to lie to her, or even to evade the truth. Not with those big blue eyes focused on him and seeing him clearer than he saw himself. “I just realized something about my marriage to Shannon.”

She arched her brows, clearly surprised by the change of topic. “And what’s that?”

“We got married young,” he said. “Too young.”

Her lips pulled to the side in a funny look like she’d just sucked on a lemon but was still trying to smile. “Because you were so passionately in love?”

He shook his head, fighting a laugh at his former self, especially now since it was so obvious. “I told myself it was love at the time. I think I really believed that it was.”

“But not anymore,” she clarified.

He shook his head again, staring at the woman who’d opened his eyes to the truth. “Now I know it wasn’t love,” he said quietly. “At least, not that kind of love. We were friends. Great friends.”

Her lips lost their pucker and she bit her bottom lip. “You married her because you thought the friendship was more?”

He nearly groaned at having to say this aloud. Why had he brought this up? “The main reason I married her was…” He ran a hand through his hair. Aw heck. “I was trying to save her.”

Katy’s eyes widened. “From what?”

He shrugged. “Shannon had family troubles. She was living with them and it was a toxic situation. I wanted to help her, get her out of there and

“And so you proposed like the knight in shining armor that you are,” Katy finished. He was happy to hear amusement in her voice and not judgement.

He agreed with a shrug. “I don’t know how I never saw that before. I’d been so caught up in her leaving and why she left, I never stopped to think about why we married in the first place. I never questioned whether it had been a bad decision made for the wrong reasons…”

“Of course not,” she said when his voice trailed off. “My guess is you were too busy trying to make things right and honor the commitment that you’d made, because you’re that kind of guy.”

He eyed her warily. Was that a bad thing?

She gave him a small smile. “You’re an honorable guy, that’s all I meant.”

He scratched the back of his head, not sure how to react to that compliment and feeling oddly shy for the first time in his life.

“So why did she leave?” she asked. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

He didn’t mind. And the fact that he didn’t mind was alarming. He was a private man by nature; he’d never even talked to Cole or Alice about their split, despite all their not-so-gentle prying. He turned to give her the answer and then had to stop to clear his throat. “She didn’t want the kind of life I could give her,” he said, his heart hurting oddly as he spoke. “She wanted more—she wanted the kind of experiences that I’d never craved, I guess.”

Katy nodded. “I get it. She was a small-town girl who wanted to experience the world.”

Of course she got it. She likely wanted the same things. Hadn’t she just talked about how much she loved living in the big city? He’d come to accept the fact a long time ago that this kind of life wasn’t for everyone. It was a simple life in some ways, but a tough life in other ways.

He’d always known it was the life for him, but there was no way he could expect a woman to give up every comfort just to be with him. Just like he couldn’t give up everything he’d worked to build to be with a woman. If his experience with Shannon taught him anything, it was that.

Love and good intentions were all fine and good, but they only went so far. Truly loving someone meant letting them pursue their happiness. Not trying to change them.

Katy cocked her head to the side. “I’d love to know what you’re thinking about right now.”

He grinned, that maudlin feeling relaxing a bit at her sweet smile. The sun was bright, the woman beside him was smiling, and he was done trying to sort out all the mysteries of the heart.

At least for now.

“I was thinking how you’ll have to introduce me to that amazing Chinese food someday,” he said. “But in the meantime, I aim to woo you to the dark side.” He gave her a grin as he put the truck back in gear. “Watch out, lady, this old-fashioned cowboy with his chivalrous tendencies is going to make you wish you were a country girl.”

She laughed like he’d hoped she would and then they were off, taking the long, scenic route down to the creek. He had the perfect spot in mind for lunch, and a full afternoon planned to see all the best this gorgeous property had to offer.

He kept having to remind himself that he was doing this for Alice’s business. He was doing this to save the ranch.

Yeah, right. He supposed that was part of it, too. But at some point this assignment had shifted, and while it would be nice, he supposed, to get her to book with them, it seemed far more important that he make her see just why he loved his life at Twilight so darn much.

He knew it was a lost cause. There was no future here for the two of them…but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try to tempt her, now did it?

He grinned when they turned another ridge and she gave a loud gasp of pleasure.

Surely this desire to tempt Katy wasn’t chivalrous and noble. He laughed softly as she oohed and ahhed as a moose clumsily ran along the creek bed below.

Maybe he wasn’t the knight in shining armor she seemed to think he was, after all.