Gia woke the next morning with two thoughts. One, she’d taken a man’s virginity for the first time in her life. And two, they hadn’t used birth control. She’d had a fleeting thought of it before he’d entered her, but it had flown from her mind the instant he’d thrust deep. Then, all she’d known was she wanted him.

She turned in Elijah’s arms so she could see his still-sleeping face. The bed was so narrow he’d had to cradle her all night, but Gia hadn’t minded. It was nice to be held.

He was peaceful in sleep, and looked younger. As if the harsh edge to his features—honed through years of outdoor labor—was softened. She traced a finger over his already-familiar face and sighed.

How did he feel about what they’d done last night? For her it had been momentous, but would it be the same for him? Or even stronger because he’d lost his virginity in the process? Or maybe after so much build up, he found the occasion a disappointment?

Her gut twisted.

Gia had never known sex could be like that, hot and playful and tender all at once. And now she knew, she couldn’t wait to do it again.

She scratched her fingers lightly through his beard. How would that feel between her thighs? Her core clenched at the image.

But before they had sex again—providing he was as willing as she was—she had to consider the possibility of pregnancy. She could already be pregnant. Was that something she wanted, now, with Elijah? She had to think logically about how it would change things for her.

She wanted a child, she knew that much. And the idea of it being Elijah’s baby made her stomach somersault in delight, even though they barely knew each other. He’d make a good father, she trusted that. He’d be protective and sweet.

However, even if she was pregnant, he wouldn’t leave his mountain. And Gia wasn’t sure she could give up everything she knew to stay out here, so far from civilization. It was a much harder life than she’d romanticized it to be, and more dangerous, particularly for a child. What if the child got sick? Or something happened to Gia and Elijah, leaving a young child to fend for themselves?

And that was before she even knew how Elijah felt about it. Did he want a child? A family? Would he want her to stay? If she mentioned the possibility of her being pregnant, would he offer to take care of her simply because of that? He was the honorable type. Or because she was the only available woman? Or he’d bonded with her because she was his first and only lover? Or would it be because he truly cared for her?

Self-doubts swirled within her.

The possibility of children was a discussion they’d need to have at some point, preferably before she knew for sure whether she was pregnant or not. But Gia was afraid to tell him. The last time she’d had this conversation with a man she’d lost the only thing she’d cared about. Tears pricked her eyes at the memory and fear clutched at her belly. If she was pregnant, she’d protect this child with everything she had.

Besides, this wasn’t the best time for her to be carrying a child, not while her life was so unsettled. She didn’t know where she’d be in a week or two. Or whether Ray would find her, and chase her down. Take another baby from her.

Tears gathered in her eyes and her hand curled protectively over her stomach. She wouldn’t let that happen again. She couldn’t.

It was all moot, anyway, until she knew one way or another whether she was carrying. And she wouldn’t let the possibility of getting pregnant stand in the way of her and Elijah making love again. Not unless he brought it up.

He’d been fifteen when he’d come up here. Surely that was old enough to have had the Sex Talk. He had to know what they’d done last night might result in a baby. He hadn’t stopped them, hadn’t brought it up, but surely he knew.

She wouldn’t discuss the possibility of pregnancy with him yet. It was too soon to know for sure, and would only add complications neither of them could deal with until they knew. If she was pregnant, she’d definitely tell him, but she’d probably be off the mountain by then. Unless he asked her to stay. Either way, he’d need to know, to make his own decisions about how involved he wanted to be.

And it would give her time to discover how he felt about her, separate to the sex and the possibility of children.

His eyes fluttered open. The instant they focused on her, a smile curved the corner of his mouth and he tugged her closer. Their bare legs tangled, and Gia’s mind jumped immediately to morning sex.

“Morning,” he mumbled, and kissed her nose where he could reach.

Gia hummed and strained her neck until she could kiss his bare chest. He was so solidly built. Delicious muscles covered every inch of him, tempting her.

“How are you this morning?” she asked, breath fanning over his skin.

He chuckled. “Like I’ve seen God.”

She laughed in return. “I know the feeling.”

Without warning, he flipped her onto her back and loomed over her, bracing himself on his hands. She shifted so he was cradled between her thighs, his already-hard cock against her clit. She gasped and tilted her hips, rubbing herself against him. She was already wet and wanting, but Elijah didn’t enter her. He stared down at her with hungry eyes.

“What?” she whispered.

“You’re very beautiful,” he murmured, though with a weight to the words that made her wonder if he meant something else entirely.

“So are you.” She ran her hands down his taut back and dug her fingers into his ass, begging him to thrust.

His cheeks stained red at her compliment but he held still, refusing to obey her.

She felt so empty without him inside her that she shifted against the mattress, searching for an angle to slide him home.

“There was something I didn’t get to do last night,” he told her, then glanced down to where they were nearly joined.

Gia’s channel clenched at the image of what he implied. “Yes,” she hissed. “Please.”

He grinned a distinctly male grin. Then, he lowered himself down until he could reach her breasts. His beard brushed her skin first, then his lips. She choked and arched her back as he took one nipple into his mouth and bit gently on it. He plumped the other breast, rubbing his thumb over her hard nipple. Her hands threaded into his hair, pulling him closer to her.

She squirmed to get friction on her clit, but he’d moved his cock away. She whimpered in disappointment.

Taking pity on her, Elijah abandoned her breasts to kiss his way over her stomach. When he reached her belly button, he glanced up at her.

“Next time I’ll touch you all over with my mouth.”

She groaned at the words combined with the intense expression on his face.

Her pussy ached for him, throbbing with every beat of her heart. She needed him soon. His lips trailed down her stomach until he was crouched on the cold stone floor. He tugged her forward until her ass was right on the edge of the mattress. Anticipation raced through her. He hooked her legs over his shoulders and his beard scratched the sensitive skin on the inside of her thighs.

His eyes locked onto her and he growled in satisfaction. He used his thumbs to part her lips, baring her more fully to his gaze. Then, as if he couldn’t wait another moment, he dived forward and licked from her entrance to her clit.

Gia gasped and bucked, but his strong hands clamped down on her hips to hold her still. He repeated the action until she squirmed. One of her hands gripped the back of his head, holding him to her, while the other twisted in the blanket beneath her.

His beard increased the sensations, brushing over her nerve endings until her whole body was tight with her impending orgasm.

He focused on her clit now, sucking and licking until she was so wet and aching for him she could barely form words.

“Please…inside me…”

She hoped for a hard, thick cock, but instead he thrust two fingers into her, right off the bat. She choked and writhed as he stretched and filled her. He pumped his fingers a few times as he worked her clit. She tightened her core muscles around him, heightening the friction and sensations.

He increased his pace to a fever pitch. Her orgasm was within reach. All she needed was—

He curled his fingers up inside her and she came hard. Her thighs clamped around his face, holding him against her while she rode through her orgasm. When she was finally done, she flopped bonelessly on the bed, chest heaving with exertion.

Elijah stood, his gaze roaming across her body with intense satisfaction, his cock hard. For a second, his eyes dipped to the floor beneath his feet.

“I need a rug.”

Gia laughed, still gasping. She’d thought the same thing her first morning here, but hadn’t been anticipating it would be so he could kneel more comfortably when going down on her.

Then, he fisted himself and all the laughter left her in a rush. She wanted him inside her. Now. Desperately.

He pulled her up the bed and crawled over her until he was once again cradled in her thighs. This time he didn’t tease her. He simply thrust into her with one stroke.

She exhaled. That was more like it. She wrapped her legs around his waist and dug her heels into his ass. He obeyed, pulling out and thrusting into her again.

Gia threw her head back and reveled in the sensations. So perfect, so right.

She ran her hands over his arms, his back, the hair on his chest. Her nails scraped lightly against his skin and he shuddered. They were both panting, slick with sweat.

He grunted as he thrust, muscles trembling beneath her hands from his effort to control himself. God, it was hot seeing him like this. His expression was fierce, possessive, and utterly beautiful.

She loved it, loved the power of him thrusting into her, being pleasured by him. But what would it be like to have all that strength and power at her mercy?

“Next time we should try it with me on top,” she told him.

He stilled immediately, his gaze gleaming with anticipation. Then, he twisted, a bit awkward on the narrow bed, until she was perched on top of him with his cock still deep inside her. She planted her hands against his chest for balance and he grinned.

His gaze was hot as he studied this new position. “I like this.” His hands slid from the tops of her thighs, over her hips and sides, before latching onto her breasts.

Gia’s core clenched involuntarily around his cock and they both groaned. She moved, starting slowly so he’d get used to the new angle. Fuck, it felt good. It wasn’t long before she was lost in the moment, bouncing on his hard cock in pursuit of her own pleasure.

Sparks flew through her veins. Her skin was slick with sweat and tightening to tell her another orgasm wasn’t far off.

His hands left her breasts and latched onto her hips to help her move. Once he found her rhythm, he planted his heels into the mattress and thrust up, matching her until she cried out with every pump of his hips.

Her second orgasm hit her like a freight train. She ground down onto him for friction on her clit as the aftershocks moved through her. Then he came, too, with a loud grunt and he spurted his seed deep within her.

Gia collapsed, boneless and breathless, on Elijah’s heaving chest.

When they’d finally come back to themselves, Elijah chuckled. The sound rumbled through her.

“Hmm?” Gia asked.

“I could wake up that way every morning.”

Gia smiled and kissed his chest.

Yes. She could, too. For the rest of her life.

 

 

Overnight the snow had begun to fall in big, heavy flakes. The temperature had dropped dramatically. Even the roaring fire by the bed didn’t quite take away the worst of the chill. Gia made breakfast while Elijah went to check on the chickens. He returned shivering and coated with snow.

Periodically, the wind picked up, battering the cabin with more snow.

“I’m glad we didn’t head down the mountain,” Gia commented, peeking out the back door. It was so dark and thick with snow she never would have known it was daytime. But the cabin was sturdy, and Elijah seemed unconcerned. He’d been through this before.

“Yes. I’ve been stuck away from the cabin a few times in weather like this. It’s never fun.”

Gia’s eyes went wide. “How did you survive without freezing?”

He shrugged. “There are ways. Caves, often, or I can build a shelter.”

“Build a shelter? In this kind of weather?”

He shrugged. “Usually I can tell when the storm is coming, so I can decide whether to race to safety or stay and build a shelter before it hits.”

“Did your father teach you all this?”

Elijah nodded. “He was in the military for a long time, left when I was in my teens. Or was discharged. I was never clear on that. When we moved out here after my mother’s death, he taught me everything he knew.”

Gia eyed him for a long moment. “You said you talked to your friend Aaron about improvements. Have you ever changed anything here since your father’s time?”

Elijah frowned and Gia couldn’t tell if he was annoyed by the question or if he was thinking. He shook his head. “Not really.”

Remembering his anger the last time she’d suggested changes, Gia trod hesitantly with her next words. “Do you think you will? Make this place—your life—more to your own style than his?”

Elijah stiffened. “This is my life Gia. I’m satisfied with how it is. I couldn’t live another way.”

She stared at him, noting the frustration, and what might be fear on his face. She resisted the urge to cup her hand around her stomach in a protective gesture. A man so unwilling to compromise would make this difficult. But she knew now, seeing this storm, she couldn’t live out here, raise a child out here. Half a day’s walk to the nearest neighbor? Yes, that distance was fine, particularly if they had a car. And that would still give Elijah the isolation he craved, and the peace Gia was learning to love. But anything further from potential help scared her too much.

What if she was up here, pregnant, and went into labor? Would she trek two days down a mountain for treatment? Or would Elijah deliver a baby with no painkillers, no help, no knowledge?

Children had medical emergencies, even more so than adults. What happened when the child got older and tripped and broke their arm? Would Elijah carry them two days down the mountain? Or would he insist on treating it himself up here? Surely not.

It was impossible for her to contemplate. There were too many things that could go wrong in the wilderness, completely cut off from everyone. Elijah made his own choices. Herself, she could risk. A child? No. Not again.

She’d experienced that agony of loss once before, and she never wanted to risk it again. Even the idea of it gave her a bone-deep clench of fear.

But she also couldn’t ask Elijah to change. It wouldn’t be fair. A relationship should never force someone to be who they’re not. And she liked the way he was. He wouldn’t be the gorgeous, tender, gruff man she knew and that would break her heart.

Her head swam. Gia had no idea what to do. Worse, was that she was planning for an outcome that might never eventuate. Her heart told her that even if she wasn’t pregnant, she probably would be soon. Her head—far more sensible at times like this—told her there was an equal chance she wasn’t, and wouldn’t be anytime soon. If not, her worries wouldn’t even come to pass. She wouldn’t have to choose.

But she dreaded the day she would.

Elijah came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He kissed her neck. “Want to can some tomatoes?”

Gia laughed. “You sure know how to charm a girl.”

His mouth curved into a smile against her neck. “We have limited entertainments out here.” He kissed her earlobe. “I thought I’d give you a break from the other kind.”

Gia giggled and pushed aside her melancholy. Whatever happened, she didn’t want to lose a minute with Elijah worrying about what might happen in the future. She wanted to enjoy every second, and keep those precious memories in case she had to spend future winter days alone.

“Canning tomatoes, huh? Sounds fun.”

He released her and took her hand, pulling her over to the stove. “These are the ones we picked yesterday.” He pointed at a bowl of tomatoes.

Gia nodded. “Tell me what to do.”

“We blanch them, crush them, put them in jars, and boil the jars.”

Gia blinked. “It’s called canning, but you use jars?”

Elijah grinned. “Jars are much easier. You can reuse them.”

They began the process, Elijah calmly telling her what to do, every step of the way. He was a good teacher, patient and kind, and again Gia was struck by how great a father he would make. She distracted herself by focusing on what Elijah showed her, lowering the jars into a pot and setting a timer.

“We need to boil it for longer, since we’re at a higher altitude,” he explained.

She nodded, but she was only half listening. With the tomatoes done, she had nothing left to distract her.

She was glad for the snow storm. That gave her more time to consider her dilemma. She considered discussing it over with Elijah, and she was so, so tempted. But she had to be careful with how she approached the issue, or he might feel like she pressured him.

And the last time she’d brought up pregnancy with a man, he’d hit her until she’d miscarried. Though she didn’t believe Elijah would do that, the memories of that day were still horribly fresh. Without knowing how Elijah would react, she didn’t think she was brave enough to risk telling him.

She sighed. There was no easy answer.

“What’s wrong?” Elijah asked.

She glanced at him in surprise to find he watched her carefully.

“I’m okay,” she told him. “Just thinking. How long will the storm last?”

He shrugged. “A few days. Then a couple more for the worst of the snow to melt and I can take you down the mountain.”

Gia’s gut twisted at his words, but she nodded. So, he still assumed she’d leave. He hadn’t asked her to stay beyond the snow storm, hadn’t even hinted at it. Perhaps he did only want to use her while she was here, and then he’d send her on his way having got what he’d wanted.

He didn’t seem like the kind of man who would do that, but did she know him as well as she thought?

She smiled, but it wasn’t particularly convincing. Her heart ached and tears threatened behind her eyes. She wanted some space to herself, but she was trapped in here with the very man making her both the happiest woman alive and the most miserable. It was a painful contradiction.

“Are there any more chores to do?” she asked, hoping for something else to fill her time, but he shook his head. “I think I’ll have a lie-down, then.”

Elijah looked deeply concerned by this, but let her move past him and lay on the bed, back to the room. The man needed some books. A radio. A board game. There was no reason for him to still be living in the 19th century. He could be off the grid and still in this day and age. By the sounds of things, his friend Aaron did just that.

Gia squeezed her eyes shut and tears slipped out. She knew she was being sour and uncharitable, but she was confused and sad and had nothing to distract her from it. All she could do was stew in her own thoughts; they went around and around, worsening with each pass.

Guilt for feeling this way when Elijah didn’t deserve it worsened her misery, until all her brain could do was fall into a fitful slumber to give her respite.

Right before she drifted off, a gentle hand settled on her hair, soothing her, and her heart cracked open all over again.