Chapter 29 - Bee
A best friend is someone who will stick around to help you bury the body.
~ Mac, the dancer of blood and entrails
“It’s got nothing to do with class, and a lot to do with talent, something I’m sure you are unfamiliar with,” Brooke pretty much hissed at Empress.
I liked Austin’s family immediately. On the verge of tracing to the opposite side of the world the entire way here, I’m surprised I was able to pull it together long enough to shove my nerves down deep, wipe the sweat from my clammy palms and smile. Obviously my worry had been for nothing. They didn’t even have to open their mouths for me to like them. Their auras were strong and loving; these were good people. The bitter, obnoxious douche nozzles sitting across from me were another thing entirely. Niall was clearly a man who liked the wealth and prestige that came with being part owner of such a successful company. With a thick head of dark brown hair, feathered with a little grey on the sides, shrewd amber eyes, full lips, olive skin, and a muscular build, he wasn’t at all awful to look at, but damn if he knew it, and damn if his aura wasn’t a blend of poop brown and vomit green. The man was so rotten he literally stunk of it. Bethany was your typical trophy wife, presented immaculately in that fake kind of way that meant a good half of her body was made of silicone and injected with poison. Her aura was almost as unpleasant as her husband’s, her stench sour and well used. Their daughter . . . well, she was a special piece of work, especially since her sultry gaze had remained glued to Austin since we arrived. She was her mother’s daughter where looks were concerned, a bleached blonde who was over-botoxed and underfed. She was the type of woman who attracted a certain type of man, someone looking for a woman who would look great on the mantel. Her aura, though, suggested she was one hundred percent her father’s daughter when it came to her wretched heart and soul. Empress was manipulative slag who was accustomed to getting everything she wanted, and right now, she wanted my man. I huffed out an amused chuckle and Austin gave me a curious glance. I loved teaching greedy ho bags their place in the world. And for eff’s sake, her name was Empress!
“What kind of a name is Bee?” the trophy wife asked, full of pomp and attitude. I had to bite my tongue to prevent myself from asking where in the hell they had come up with the name Empress? It sounded like something you would call a fluffy poodle. Oh man, how I wished Mac was here. We'd have the night of our lives tearing this family to pieces.
“It’s short for Phoibe,” Austin answered on my behalf.
Empress sipped on her champagne, leaning back in her chair without a care in the world. The villainous glimmer in her eye and the evil smirk told me the bitch was about to spew something foolish out of her thick lips.
“It’s such a shame the name was permanently tarnished by that trashy sitcom, Friends.”
“What do you mean? Friends was fucking awesome and Phoebe was fucking awesome,” Savannah practically growled.
The woman had a mouth just as dirty as Austin’s and nobody seemed surprised by it. I could totally picture her working in a bar. She was obviously tough as nails and was comfortable speaking her mind.
Empress snickered and it sounded a little like a Chihuahua choking.
“She was your typical blonde air-head. She made blondes look bad. Back when the show began, I made my mother take me to a salon to dye my hair brunette. It was embarrassing.”
“You mean you’re not a bottle blonde?” I asked, knowing very well she was.
Empress offered me an offended look, and I tried really hard not to laugh, honestly, I did.
“Phoebe had a beautiful soul, she was gentle, and caring. Trust me, you’d never be confused with her,” Brooke murmured, glaring daggers at Empress.
“It’s just a personal opinion, don’t get your panties in a twist.”
“At least I’m wearing panties,” Savannah said quite loudly without a care in the world.
Empress obviously heard her and giggled like a school girl who had just been caught out and had been dying to get caught out. You know that giggle . . . the one rehearsed in front of a mirror when she realized just how far a good coy look could get her. Like an entitled princess, Empress’s hooded gaze raked over Brooke and Savannah’s husbands before coming to rest on Austin. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to pluck her eyes out and flay them, or vomit. Fake, fake, fake. And no panties? Ewww, bad hygiene much? I would have to let the staff at the restaurant know that her chair would need a good hose down once we were done.
Empress let her lids flutter at Austin in a way that made it look like her fake lashes were a tad on the heavy side. Austin didn’t waste a moment playing into her ridiculous game. Instead, he leaned into me and nuzzled my neck, forcing an outbreak of delicious goose pimples all over my flesh.
“Ignore her, she’s like the first slice of bread when you open a loaf, everyone touches her but no one wants her.”
I pressed a smile to my lips and turned so my cheek was resting against Austin’s. Jealousy burned like acid in my veins, the thought of Austin having touched this woman who clearly had a toxic vagina made that volatile temper of mine simmer dangerously.
“Did you touch her?”
Austin nipped my ear almost in reprimand.
“Sugar, I’d never endanger my dick by sticking it in Empress Mackenzie, but I do like it when you get jealous. Sexy. As. Fuck.”
He pulled away with a cheeky smirk and my anger disappeared, leaving behind a lusty woman who was ready to find the nearest closet and do highly inappropriate things to him in it.
“So, what do you do for a living, Phoibe?” Empress asked, pronouncing Phoibe as if it were some offensive odor.
“My family owns a premium dating business,” I answered with my well-rehearsed wording as I perused the menu before me. I was craving a burger but it was quite apparent I wasn’t going to get that here. I found a steak and pointed it out as the waitress took our orders. “Well done, honestly, I want this beast crispy and not a drop of blood in sight. And I don’t suppose your chef could whip up some fries for me?” I asked hopefully, adding a small push of persuasion to my words.
“I’m sure he can manage that,” the waitress answered with a patient smile.
“You do know there will be around 30 grams of fat in the average serving of fries?” That little pearl of wisdom came from Niall.
“The secret to my happiness is food, good food. I have nothing against salad, but me and carbs have a beautiful relationship. One I have no intention of ending anytime soon.”
Don raised his glass from the head of the table. “A woman after my own heart, I’ve been on the seafood diet most of my life,” he confessed with a smile. “I see food, and I eat it.”
“Bad dad joke,” Savannah said with a sigh, shaking her head.
Austin’s eyes crinkled with a smile as he leaned towards me and whispered in my ear. “I know something else that can keep you happy. I’d be happy to slip it between your lips later tonight.”
I shivered, the inappropriate thoughts of Austin doing highly appropriate things had my thighs clenching together. Leaving a gentle kiss on my cheek, he moved out of my bubble to field a question from his father. I had always been so protective of my bubble, my space, but I’d discovered recently that when Austin wasn’t glued to my side, that bubble felt empty and lonely.
“A dating agency, huh.” Empress murmured as she watched Austin and I interact with obvious distaste. “How charming.”
She was completely insincere, but I didn’t care. Her opinion didn’t matter to me . Women like her were a dime a dozen. She was your cliché mean girl who had nothing going for her but looks. Once they disappeared, all she would have left would be a special bond with her plastic surgeon.
“You sound awfully curious. Our company only takes on clients on a referral basis, but I’d be happy to recommend you. In fact, I’d be more than happy to take on your profile myself. I’m sure I could get you out there dating in no time.”
Empress looked appalled. “I don’t need a dating service!”
“Of course you don’t,” I answered with a heavy dose of sarcasm and a very obvious wink.
“I have no problem finding male company!” the spoiled princess hissed. Why she was trying to keep her voice down I had no idea. She had the attention of everyone at the table.
“Is it female company you are having trouble with? We have a very modern view on relationships and are happy to provide service to the LGBT community, and everything in between.” I kept my expression serious.
Austin and his sisters tried to smother their laughter while Niall and Bethany drew back an audible gasp.
“How dare you imply such a thing!” Empress spat out.
I sat up and pressed my shoulders back. This girl was quickly becoming a boil on my behind. Was she dissing my LGBT hommies? I was an each-to-their-own kind of woman, and if a man wanted to love another man, transgender or freaking rabbit, more power to him.
“Do you have something against same sex relationships?”
Empress was completely flustered and I loved it. The blonde bimbo spluttered over the ridiculous notion, her cheeks flushed red.
Manifesting a ‘Cupids Catch’ business card I pretended to reach into my clutch for it.
“It’s okay, I understand, and I assure you my company is very discreet. You’re secret is safe with me. Call me.” I pretended my hand was a phone and held it to my ear.
“I don’t have any secrets.”
Oh yes, she did, Empress Mackenzie had more secrets than the secret service. I had tried hard not to cringe through the residual life flashbacks her and her family had kindly exposed me to.
When Empress excused herself to use the bathroom, I leaned into Austin.
“I’d better go apologize, I didn’t mean to tease her, but she pretty much had a big target on her big fake nose.”
Austin looked at me like I had lost my mind, then that weirded-out look changed to horror and his eyes widened.
“You can’t . . . you know . . . my family . . . I know she’s a pain in the ass . . . but . . .”
“Baby, I’m not going to drag her cold, icy heart out of her chest and dance on it, if that’s what you’re thinking. We’re just going to talk.” Austin didn’t seem convinced, but I rose from my chair and kissed his nose. “Like grownups,” I whispered before heading to the bathrooms.
Empress wasn’t actually in the bathroom, but talking discreetly on her phone in a small private nook to the back of the restaurant. She stood before a large mirror, studying her teeth and flawless makeup as she prattled on to whoever was on the other end about how hot Austin is and his latest skank wouldn’t last a week. My fist tightened and it wasn’t a stretch of my imagination to picture myself slugging the no panty wearing hooker-in-training. When Empress ended her rant, she turned and just about ran into me. At 5’8, I wasn’t short, and with heels on, it pushed me to an easy 5’9. I towered over Empress and damn did it feel good.
Looking a little flustered at being caught, Empress pushed her shoulders back and tried to gain the three inches I had on her. All the movement did was enhance her already enhanced breasts.
“You should enjoy Austin while you can. He’s a renowned player and the only lasting relationship he’s ever had is with is guitar and his best friend, Walker. He and I, however, have grown up together. We are bonded, like soul mates.”
I tried hard not to smile, but Empress’ ridiculous words blossomed inside me until I was grinning like a lunatic.
“Actually, you have exactly one potential soul mate in this building and he’s sitting at the far eastern side of the room in a corner table. I’d introduce you both but he has an infinity for locking unwilling women in his basement and dressing them up in furry animal suits. I don’t like you at all, but even I wouldn’t condemn you to wearing such a thing. My bestie and I will soon be paying him a visit to end the giant, animal screwing fetish fest he’s got going on so a relationship with him would be a dead end . . literally.”
Empress simply stared at me, her mouth slightly agape, her brows furrowed in confusion. I had that effect on people.
“I’m not sure if it is simply karma, or if the fates are totally screwing with you over the fact your only potential soul mate in the vicinity happens to be a raving lunatic with a penchant for cotton tails and dog ears.” I laughed, snorting loudly as I did. “Anyway, I just wanted to give you some advice. You should treat that itch you have with a probiotic, it’s fungal.” I watched as Empress’s eyes flared and she squirmed uncomfortably now her attention was drawn to the itching sensation she’d been trying to ignore. “Also, you should always wear underwear, most especially for reasons of hygiene. I mean, you’ve got funky junky right now, and imagine the next person who has to sit in your chair, that’s nasty!” Empress remained silent, her shocked gaze following me as I wandered around the discreet nook, checking my teeth in the mirror for lipstick. The tiny room was almost as big as my entire mortal apartment. “And finally, if you or your silicone momma so much as glance at my man again, I will rip out your spines and mount your heads in my best friend's den. I’d offer to mount them in my own house but it wouldn’t go with the décor. Mac, however, she’s darker and leans slightly towards the crazy side of town. And trust me, if you knew who her father was, you’d understand.”
I came back to stand before Empress who looked a touch on the pale side. “I’m so glad we got to have this conversation. I feel like we’ve really cleared the air.” I drew a deep breath in, then gagged. “Oh no, it still stinks in here. Was that you?” I asked, and Empress’s cheeks flamed. The smell wasn’t what Empress assumed it was; it was the stench of her retched soul.
“Of course it wasn’t,” she hissed.
Turning, I moved towards the entrance in the corner of the room, cleverly hid with a few indoor plants. The snippets of Empress’s memory I had seen were vile, and even though I hadn’t see everything, I’d spent enough time watching the uglier side of both mortals and immortals to understand what she and her father were planning.
“Oh, and I’m aware your father is going to try and blackmail Don into selling him his shares.” I had no idea if that was the reason for their blackmail, but from the greed in their auras and the conversation during dinner, I assumed this was the direction they were going. “From what I understand you’ve already reached out to your very good friend, Tiffany, and offered her a large sum of money to tell the media she had an affair with Don. I’d encourage your father to back the eff off. Otherwise, I’ll add your father’s head to Mac’s den, too.”