Chapter Four

 

 

“Is it normal for them to just come and go like that?”

Carly watched as Henry and Shadow departed from the lake, their pale tails wagging as they cantered alongside one another.

Less than an hour ago, Taylor had rejoined her mates, hoping to get some alone time with Alder. Instead, she’d ended up playing hostess to Carly while Alder spent time with his sister. Taylor would have even preferred spending time with Hale, but he took the first opportunity to slink away and, per usual, Taylor had no clue where he’d gone. For all she knew, he could be lurking in the trees that very moment, waiting for Carly to undress.

Taylor was already in the water and had been for some time. Her fingers had pruned, but once she’d gotten into the cool water, returning to the hot, dry land was horribly unappealing.

They had come so that Carly could bathe, but while Taylor had been channeling her inner-mermaid, Carly had sat on the shore, trying to talk to Henry. For a while, the pup had been lazing next to his brother on the shore, watching Carly from one eye and Taylor from the other. All of Carly’s attempts to cajole him into communication had been met with stony silence, and the one time she’d tried getting close, he’d actually growled.

Throughout the bizarre scene, Taylor had kept her mouth clamped shut. Part of her felt ashamed of how Henry was behaving and she again had the urge to assure Carly that this behavior was totally out of character for him. In the end, she decided that it was better Carly just believe that Henry had a chip on his shoulder.

“You get used to it,” Taylor said, though it was only partially true. “When they were little, I tried to keep Shadow and his sister Fawn corralled, but once they learned to shift it was pretty much impossible.”

Carly asked, “When did Henry first…”

“When he was around a month old. It was a little earlier than most pups.”

Carly stared at her, clearly waiting for her to say more, and Taylor wanted to. There was nothing in the world she liked talking about more than her children, and Henry was a particular point of pride for her. In spite of his arm and his precarious start in life, he was thriving.

But although she could have easily talked about Henry for hours, Taylor remained silent. Her memories of Henry and her knowledge of him were like treasures she desperately needed to hoard.

“He walks so well,” Carly said, breaking the awkward silence. “I barely notice his arm, um, leg.”

Taylor agreed. “It really doesn’t seem to bother him. Maybe when he’s older… Anyway, you should wash up if you’re going to. Silas could be here soon.”

She wondered if he would even come at all. When Olivia had departed for Whiteriver, she’d seemed reluctant to even bring Silas, consenting only after some persuading by Clover. Taylor had no idea if Olivia was going to tell her brother about Carly’s appearance, or if she was going to let him be unpleasantly surprised.

Feeling guilty for being so judgmental, Taylor covertly watched as Carly undressed. She tried to find some redeeming quality in the young woman’s body, but after a moment she looked away, seeing none and now feeling like a creep.

“Clover and Sarah didn’t tell me much about him,” Carly said as she began to wade into the water. “Silas, that is. They just told me that he was around my age and might be looking for a mate.”

“I think he’s a few years younger than you,” Taylor said. “But, as you can see, shifters mature a lot faster than humans, especially males. You’d be hard pressed to find a human who was nineteen or twenty who looked anything like Silas.”

“What does he look like?” Carly asked. She shivered as she lowered herself into the cool water, submerging herself up to her chin.

Taylor motioned for her to come out farther, near the rock that she was lounging against.

“Like most shifter males. Fit, handsome, a bit scary looking.”

Carly worried her bottom lip. “Define handsome. Handsome like good looking, or handsome like your mates?”

Taylor arched a brow at her.

Carly said, “I guess what I mean is, is he the kind of guy that wouldn’t be interested in a girl like me, like not in a million years?”

Taylor couldn’t ignore the echoes of her own self-judgement in Carly’s words. She softened, just a little.

“He’s pretty hot, but don’t let that freak you out. I never thought Alder would go for me, let alone his brother, too.”

Carly’s frown deepened. “Yeah, but you’re…”

“What?”

She waved a hand at Taylor, accidentally splashing her in the process. “Sorry! Forget I said anything. I’m being weird. It’s just nerves. I pretty much left everything behind to come here. If Silas isn’t interested, I’m really not sure what I’m going to do. I really want to get to know him.”

“It could take a while. Silas isn’t much of a talker.”

Carly shook her head. “No, I mean Henry.”

Taylor’s throat tightened. “Oh.”

“I’m sure he’ll warm up to me in time. He has to, right? I’m his mother.”

Taylor searched for an adequate response, but couldn’t find one. She had spent the summer preoccupied with how she was going to keep Henry. It had never occurred to her that Henry would have no interest in his biological mother. If he were human, she would have assured Carly to give it time, but he was more wolf than anything else. Maybe they had already missed some crucial bonding period and there was no going back.

Not knowing what to say, she started to reach for Carly, intent on comforting her with a pat on the shoulder, or even a hug, if necessary.

Taylor never quite made it that far.

“Was it the same for you and your mom, when you met her?” Carly asked. “Did it take time for you to come around?”

For a moment, Taylor just stared blankly at her, her hand frozen in midair. At once, her body turned frigid, and then heated until the surface of her skin simmered.

“Sarah told you…”

It was the only logical conclusion. Aside from Alder, whom she’d poured her heart out to in the early days of their relationship, only Sarah knew all of the details of her past. While Lark had always been her friend, she rarely stopped talking about herself long enough to really get to know Taylor. And although she considered Holly to be her best friend, the two of them seldom talked about their pasts.

It was Sarah, who was less like a friend and more like a big sister, who had gradually broken down Taylor’s walls over the years. Nearly all of their conversations had taken place over letters, which they sent back and forth at a furious pace, particularly when Taylor had been a very insecure new mother. It was during that time that Taylor had confided the details of her relationship with her mother, who had put her up for adoption just after being born. And then, there were the Cavanaughs, the family that had adopted her as a baby, only to put her back into the system when her heart condition became too overwhelming for them.

Like many girls growing up in foster care, Taylor had imagined that she would grow up and have children of her own. She would be an amazing mother and give her kids the childhood she’d never had. Then, as a teenager, she’d been reunited with her biological mother, a woman who was nothing like what she’d imagined. Her mother had made a space for Taylor in her life, but she was never warm or affectionate. As time went on, Taylor felt more and more like her presence was an inconvenience and that her mother had only accepted her due to social pressures.

The experience had shaken her identity and dashed any thoughts she’d had about one day being a parent. She couldn’t possibly risk finding out that she was just like the woman who’d so easily discarded her.

“O-Only in passing,” Carly stammered, clearly recognizing her mistake. “She just mentioned it because we kind of have that in common. My mom walked out on me when I was a kid, but I never—”

Her temper flaring, Taylor said, “If your mom walked out on you then you shouldn’t have to ask me what it feels like to be ditched.”

Taylor didn’t immediately want to take the words back. At first, it was satisfying to watch the color drain from Carly’s face, only to be replaced by red splotches of shame. It was only in the ensuing silence, her words echoing in her mind, that Taylor’s own shame began to creep over her.

An apology caught in her throat, but she did manage to break the tension.

“At least you’re here now,” Taylor said. “You’re trying to do the right thing, that’s what counts.”

Carly’s head bobbed and she gave Taylor a weak smile. “Sure.”

***

Taylor’s scent was clean and fresh as she entered the den. Sometimes, just after she’d washed up, Alder fancied that she smelled the same as the day he’d met her.

Whenever Taylor recounted that warm summer day, she always began at the point where he’d pulled over to offer her a ride, but Alder knew that she’d noticed him in the gas station. He had noticed her, too.

It wasn’t because she’d seemed particularly special to him. In his prime and without a mate, Alder had noticed just about every human female with a pulse. Taylor had ticked both of those boxes, as well as being attractive and having a vulnerable look to her that had pulled at both his protective and his predatory instincts.

As his focus shifted to the human walking alongside Taylor, he tried to picture her at that gas station in place of his mate. He wondered what would have happened if Taylor had looked like Carly. Would he have even stopped to pick her up? And if they’d escaped into the woods together, would their close proximity have drawn them together as strongly as it had?

Alder wanted to believe he was not so superficial as to have chosen Taylor simply for her looks. He knew there had been much more to his attraction, not the least of which was how readily she’d accepted the fact that he was a shifter. Still, he had trouble finding even the barest stirring of interest as he looked at Carly. He reasoned that being mated to Taylor likely dampened his inclination towards other females, and hoped that Silas would see something in her that he didn’t.

He did not want to be stuck figuring out what to do with this female if Silas rejected her.

Unbeknownst to Taylor, he had also been in correspondence with Sarah, and his older brother’s mate had practically begged him and Hale to help Carly find a pack. According to Sarah, the young woman had no home to go back to. Sarah had even gone so far as gently suggesting that perhaps, if Taylor and Carly ‘really hit it off’ that there would be room in Alder and Hale’s relationship for a second female. It had been one of the most amusing things that Alder had ever read. Though she’d never admit it to Taylor, Sarah struggled to understand how she could be mated to two different males.

The setting sun cast the central chamber in deep orange light that would soon be extinguished. All around the central chamber bonfires were being lit, both for illumination and in preparation for the meal to come. For most of the pack, who kept to a nocturnal schedule and were only just rising, it was breakfast. The meat would not be from a fresh kill, but rather from their storage, which would offer a larger feast with greater varieties for their guests.

Alder’s pack mates, though scattered in small clusters throughout the room, joined him in observing Carly. Not since Sarah’s last visit had there been a human besides Taylor in their territory, and they would be particularly intrigued by her because she was Henry’s mother.

Hale was on the far side of the room, near to the entrance. He was conversing with Holly and Fenix, but had arrived only moments before Taylor, confirming Alder’s suspicions that he’d been following her. Even as he spoke to his pack mates, Hale’s eyes were turned to the side, tracking Taylor’s every movement.

For all the frustrations that came with sharing a mate, at the end of the day, Alder was glad to have his brother’s support. He couldn’t imagine having to run his pack while also indulging his instincts to be near to Taylor and protecting her at all times. He was fortunate to have a brother that shared that instinct and who was willing to let him make most of the decisions when it came to running the pack. Now that they weren’t constantly warring with their neighbors, Hale had lost interest in many of the duties that came with overseeing the pack. In a pivot that Alder could have never anticipated, his twin now invested much of his time in rearing pups and stalking their mother.

Hale was prone to monopolizing Taylor. Most of the time, it didn’t bother Alder as he was just glad that Taylor was receiving adequate attention. Sometimes, for no apparent reason at all, it incensed Alder and he found himself burning with animosity towards Hale. Those instances had been rare since Taylor had become pregnant again, though Hale still managed to find plenty of concrete ways to piss Alder off.

Tonight, Alder was glad when Taylor stopped only briefly at Hale’s group, just long enough to pass Carly off onto Holly. Then, his mate headed in Alder’s direction.

“Go up to the lookout and check for the Whiteriver wolves,” Alder said, effectively dismissing the female.

Karin had been at his side for much of the afternoon, the two of them discussing the preparations for the evening, with Laurel coming and going to add input. Being a former Whiteriver wolf, she knew the neighboring pack well and was able to brief Alder on all of the wolves that would be in attendance.

Alder didn’t think for a second that Silas would try anything while in the Halcyon den, but with his mate in attendance, he needed to be prepared for any possibility. Remarkably, the knowledge that Silas would be in his den wasn’t disturbing. Alder could remember feeling more uneasy the last time Shan was in their den. Though he actually liked Shan, at least somewhat, Shan had the capability to singlehandedly take out Alder’s entire pack. Silas, surrounded by Halcyon wolves on every side, would be dead before he even managed to shift.

Alder’s hands went up to take Taylor’s as she reached him. He pulled her down into his lap, turning their bodies so that she was facing away from the fire, and so that his back shielded them. For reasons that still bewildered Alder, his mate was uncomfortable with intimacy when in view of the pack.

Though his nature had always skewed more towards the human side, he had never understood why humans were so private in their affections. He would have thought that Taylor, given how prone she was to jealousy, would be eager to flaunt the attention of her mates. Instead, she rarely permitted more than a peck on the lips when others might see them. It was a quirk that Alder found both annoying and charming.

His mouth closed over hers, and he couldn't resist groaning when she kissed him back in earnest. Her soft lips parted in invitation, one which Alder was quick to accept, his tongue delving into the warm cavern he knew all too well.

Usually, it was Taylor pushing him away, looking flushed and embarrassed. This time, it was Alder who had to stop, and after only a few seconds. Her unexpected reciprocation had lit him up, and he was already hard and wanting to abscond with her.

For an instant, he wished he were more like his brother. Hale would have had no reservations about carrying her off, and he frequently did. But unlike his brother, Alder’s mind possessed a chamber of rationality, one with a chiding voice that sounded an awful lot like his older brother Cain’s. At present, the voice was reminding him that Silas would be there soon and he couldn’t rely on Hale to handle the encounter with sufficient diplomacy while he was off fucking their mate.

Taylor shot him a small pout as he turned her so that she was sitting with her back to him. Alder ignored the look and curved his hands around his new favorite part of her body, her rounding belly. It seemed like just last week he could cover the entire bulge with his outstretched hand, now it took both hands to adequately cup it. He knew it was only a matter of time before he would be feeling it kick.

“He’s not glaring at me anymore,” Taylor quietly remarked.

“Don’t worry about him,” Alder replied, knowing that she was referring to Hale.

Many of their conversations centered on his brother, which also didn’t bother him, except when it did. Taylor often looked to Alder to be the translator of Hale’s moods, not realizing that he was usually just as clueless as she was. This time, however, he was confident that he’d handled his brother deftly.

“What happened between the two of you?” she asked. “Last night, I was pretty sure he’d never speak to me again. Now, he almost seems like his normal self. Maybe a little standoffish, I suppose.”

“You know Hale. He gets pissed, says things he doesn’t mean, and then regrets it. He’s probably worried that you’re still angry with him.”

Alder had already decided that he would spare her the details of his argument with Hale. He knew that Hale was still seething inside and not ready to make nice with Taylor, but he’d also ensured that Taylor would know none of that.

“Don’t worry,” he told her. “He’s not going to pick any more fights with you.”

Her lips quirked. “Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious.”

“What did you—?”

Alder silenced her with a finger. “Enough about Hale. Just trust me.”

Taylor pushed his hand down gently. “Tell me one thing. Do you agree with him?”

Briefly, Alder thought back to what his brother had said, or rather, yelled at their mate. That she was wrong to have invited Carly to the valley. That her actions would destroy their family. That she never thought about the consequences of anything that she did. The last one was particularly ironic, coming from Hale, the king of impulsivity.

“I think that you should have included us from the start,” Alder said carefully. “But everything else Hale said, it was ridiculous.”

Taylor wet her lips. “Are you mad that I tried to find Silas a mate? I know that you hate him.”

“I don’t hate him,” Alder said, and he meant it.

He had hated Silas following Snow’s abduction. Even after he’d gotten her back, he still might have killed Silas, given the chance. However, time had dampened his animosity. It helped that Silas and his pack adhered to all of the rules set forth by their treaty, and that the young alpha was adequately deferent when in Alder’s presence.

Alder would never like Silas, but there was no room inside of him for hatred. He had a mate and a family that he cared for dearly, and so long as Silas never threatened them again, Alder would remain neutral towards him.

He went on to say, “I believe that everyone is overreacting to this situation with Carly and Silas. You, most of all. You need to relax and focus on yourself.”

“How can I possibly focus on myself?” she muttered, leaning back into his embrace. Her eyes stared off in Carly’s direction. “So, you say I’m overreacting. Does that mean you also think that Silas is going to turn her down?”

“I never said that.”

Her eyes widened. “You think he’ll like her?”

“I didn’t say that either,” he said, his lips twisting. “It’s difficult to say. I can’t really picture the two of them together, but then again I never would have imagined that I’d be able to share a mate with my brother.”

“That’s completely different.”

“All I mean is that anything can happen. You should have seen Sarah when Cain first brought her home to the den. She was so mousey-looking, and always squinting at everything because her eyesight was terrible.”

“What? Sarah is beautiful,” Taylor protested.

“She’s gotten better with age.”

Taylor fell silent, and Alder could practically hear the gears clicking in her head.

“Sarah must have been closer to your age than Cain’s,” Taylor finally said.

“Not really. What are you implying?”

Alder knew precisely what she was implying, but he did want to give her the chance to save face. Despite expecting her mates to share her harmoniously, she couldn’t handle the thought of either of them even expressing interest in another female. He knew that part of the reason her attention was fixed on Carly was that she was in close proximity to Hale, and she would tense ever so slightly whenever he spoke to her.

“I don’t know,” she said, running a hand through her hair.

“When I met Sarah, I had already made the mistake of falling for one of my brother’s mates. I wasn’t about to let that happen a second time.”

Taylor tilted her head up, her bottom lip puckering. “That’s not what I meant. I… I’m sorry.” She sighed, her shoulders slumping. “This whole situation has me so on edge. It’s really bringing out the worst in me. I feel like such an asshole today. Do you know that I pretty much accused Carly of ditching Henry?”

That did come as a surprise to Alder. Although Taylor could be every bit as aggressive as her female pack mates, her brand leaned towards passive.

“How did that go over?” he asked.

“Fine,” she said, pursing her lips. “She’s so damn nice, she just brushed it off. I guess I can see where Henry gets his friendliness from.”

Alder kissed the top of her head. “That’s something you would have never known if you hadn’t met her. I’m sure there are more things, too. Maybe you’ll even be friends one day.”

“Doubt it,” she said emphatically.

“You made friends with Holly and Bekka, and they aren’t even nice.”

That made her laugh. “Point taken.”

With an exaggerated yawn, Taylor stretched her arms up and then looped them around Alder’s neck.

“Can’t we skip all this and go to your bedroom? You do still have a bedroom here, don’t you?”

“I think so,” he said, feigning thoughtfulness. “Strange, I can’t seem to remember a time before the cabin.”

He kissed her again, this time making no effort to shield her from view. Predictably, she was the one to push him away. The shy look on her face only made him want her more.

“You don’t have anything to worry about,” Alder said, idly combing his fingers through her hair. “Everything is going to be fine.”

He was intentionally vague, his words casting a broad blanket over anything that might trouble her. No matter what happened, he would protect her and do everything in his power to ensure her happiness. It was his responsibility, because he owed all of his own happiness to her.