Chapter Nine
After the disastrous Sunday dinner, I decide to back off.
Generally, it’s in my nature to stay the course, but I do know better than to keep pushing myself where I’m not wanted. I’m not sure why I’m not wanted, but Mateo made it clear that first night in his office that if he wanted to have sex with me, he would.
So I guess he doesn’t.
It’s a little awkward, but I’ll survive.
Monday and Tuesday pass uneventfully. He still makes me taste his food before he eats it, but I do so like a maid, without flirting. Wednesday night he isn’t home for dinner, and I do notice his absence. Dinner just isn’t the same without him.
The long days and late evenings are starting to wear on me already. I have a break mid-day to spend time with Lily, but we usually only have two hours each evening before she has to go to bed. She talks about Isabella all the time, which is cute, but it’s impossible not to wonder what kind of future we have in this place. It’s finally starting to hit me—I’m actually stuck here. Maria has been here for 20 years—that means I will probably still be here in 20 years.
People keep mentioning Elise leaving, but no one has given any details about why or when. Is there some kind of time served you have to log before you get to leave? Do I have that, or is mine forever, since it’s a punishment? ‘I own you’ would seem to indicate forever, but I can’t be sure.
What will life be like? In 20 years, will Lily be out living her own life, and I’ll be wasting away, making up Mateo’s bed with 35 million decorative pillows? He’ll likely be married by then, and the idea of him marrying someone makes me feel sour.
The rest of the week slips by, and it doesn’t even seem like Mateo notices I’ve stopped coming to give him blow jobs. Granted, he hasn’t requested any, but I’m starting to reevaluate my oral skills if he doesn’t even care.
I’m relieved when Sunday comes again. After last week, there’s no way Mateo will request my presence again. Lily wants to go out, but I don’t know how to tell her we’re not allowed, so we spend the day playing, reading, and watching movies again. I’m starting to get a little stir crazy myself, but I don’t know how to go about getting an escort so I can leave, and I don’t know if I’d be allowed to take Lily.
I’m also not super secure about leaving Mateo’s home. As long as Lily and I are inside, I have no doubt we’re safe from Antonio Castellanos, but I’m much less sure of that if we leave these walls.
Prison and sanctuary, all-in-one.
Cherie approaches me quietly, since Lily has fallen asleep on the couch beside me. “Mateo wants you again.”
“Of course he does,” I murmur, my eyes still trained on the movie.
I’m much less enthusiastic an hour later when I show up in Mateo’s study to prance around, filling glasses. I don’t stay long and I don’t ask permission to head to the kitchen once everyone has something to drink.
Mia glances up as I enter the kitchen again, not paying attention as her knife comes down and completely misses the carrot she’s chopping. Setting it aside, she grabs a towel and dries her hands, taking a few tentative steps in my direction.
“Hey.”
I offer back a measured smile. “Hey.”
Once she’s close enough, she says, “I’m sorry about last week. Did I get you in trouble with him?”
I hold up my thumb and forefinger and indicate just a smidge. “No biggie.”
“I’m really sorry. I just… Mateo caused a lot of trouble in my relationship with Vince before, and Vince and I are in a really good place right now…”
“You don’t have to explain. It’s fine.”
“If you still need advice, I thought about it, and maybe I do have a little.”
I open my mouth to tell her I don’t need it anymore, but I’ve never been one to turn down added knowledge. “All right.”
“What Mateo wants is someone he can rely on. Someone he can trust. You may have noticed he’s a suspicious guy, he doesn’t let people close, and… well, I still think he leads an ultimately lonely existence. He doesn’t understand when people are kind to him without an agenda, but if you are, it’ll throw him off, catch his attention.”
Shaking my head, I tell her, “I have been. I am nice to him, all the time, and it isn’t working at all. It’s not making him trust me more; if anything, it makes him trust me less.”
Mia frowns. “Then he must not believe you. He thinks you have an agenda.”
Sighing heavily, I nod my head. “Yeah, that’s what I arrived at, too.”
“Do you?”
My eyebrows rise as she studies my face. “No. I mean, I was interested in potentially sleeping with him, but I wouldn’t call that an agenda. Anyway, I’m sort of over it at this point. I’m not going to throw myself at someone who doesn’t want me. Not my style.”
“Hm…” Mia taps her chin, considering. “Maybe you should flirt with someone who does.”
My eyes narrow. “I don’t like that look.”
Backing up a few steps, Mia touches Francesca’s arm. “Are you okay in here for a minute?” At her assurance she would be fine, Mia comes over and loops her arm through mine. “Let’s go see the boys.”
“I don’t want to see the boys. I just left the boys.”
“Vince said last week Joey was checking you out,” Mia points out, leading me down the hall.
Already shaking my head, I tell her, “I don’t want to play games.”
Mia looks over at me and laughs. “Then you shouldn’t have set your sights on Mateo Morelli.”
I’m more than a little uneasy when we enter the study. Mia still has her arm linked through mine, and she keeps close to me long enough for the guys to notice. I try not to notice, but Mateo in particular seems interested in our proximity.
Once he gets a good, long look, she lets me go and heads over to Vince, climbing on his lap and giving him a kiss. “Hey, baby.”
“Hey,” he returns, his tone warmer than I’ve heard it thus far.
“I missed you,” she tells him, leaning her head on his shoulder.
Dread spills over me, inch by inch, but I’m already here, so I head back to the decanter. “Anyone need topping off?”
Alec raises a hand, so I head over to him. Joey’s in the arm chair next to Alec, closer to the fireplace. I can’t help noticing he’s pretty much diagonal from Mateo. From Mateo’s perch at the edge of his desk, he has command of the whole room—which I assume is why he always stands there instead of sitting—but he would have to make an actual effort not to see Joey’s seat.
I glance back at Joey, still not in love with Mia’s suggestion, but I offer up a pleasant enough smile. “What about you?”
“Of course,” Joey says amiably, taking a big gulp of his drink to make room for more. Since I’m not in a hurry to get away from him this time, Joey asks, “How you like it here?”
“It’s nice,” I say, shrugging. “I’ve had better gigs, I’ve had worse.”
“Maybe you’ll marry out of it like Elise,” he tells me, winking.
“Shut up,” Adrian mutters, staring at his half-empty crystal glass.
“Come on, she’ll marry you eventually,” Joey says, grinning.
Adrian glares. “If Meg wasn’t in the way, I’d throw this at your head.”
“Ooh, sounds like you better stay here and protect me,” Joey jokes.
“That can be arranged,” I tell him, flipping my hair.
His eyebrows rise with interest, but instead of hitting on me, his gaze flits to Mateo’s.
Mateo’s gaze is glued to me now, his dark eyes narrowed with irritation. “You like Joey now?”
My stomach bottoms out at the edge in his question, not even an attempt at joking. The whole room tenses.
“I was being friendly,” I state, keeping my chin up.
“Very friendly.”
“What can I say, I’m a friendly person,” I shoot back.
Placing his glass down on the edge of the desk, he advances in my direction. “That so?”
I don’t move. I get the impression Joey wants to, but he’s stuck in the chair with me in front of it, and I’m not budging. Mateo comes to a stop right in front of me, so close I can feel his breath, breathe his scent. All he’d have to do is lean in just a little, and he could kiss me.
I meet his gaze, unflinching. I want to bait him, but I won’t, not in front of his family. I want to ask him if I’m supposed to be intimidated. If we were alone, I would.
I wish we were alone.
All I can say is, “So friendly.”
His eyes narrow, and he remains right in my face. “Be a little less friendly.”
“Yes, master.”
Fire leaps in his eyes and he grabs my arm, jerking me away from Joey.
Mia jumps, gasping, but I remain unfazed.
“I warned you about calling me that.”
He’s right up against me now, backing me against the wall, so close I’m afraid he can feel how fast my heart’s beating. Since I don’t want to push him too far but I do feel like pushing his buttons, I lean in and whisper in his ear, “I have a suggestion for where you can shove your warnings.”
For the longest moment of my life, he stares at me in disbelief, like I must have legitimately lost my goddamn mind.
Finally, he clips out, “Leave.”
I bow my head and go to scoot past him, but his arm darts out in front of me and he plants his hand against the wall, blocking me in.
“Not you. Them. Dinner’s over.”
“But… we haven’t…” Alec trails off, clearly at a loss.
I glance at Mia, whose eyes are wide in a sort of ‘oh shit’ look that can’t mean anything good.
No one else says a word. They put down drinks and push out of chairs, filing out of the room. Adrian is last, and he closes the door, since we’re obviously going to need privacy.
It’s only us now, so I meet his gaze. I’m not sure if he wants to kill me or fuck me, but it’s definitely one of the two.
“You’re not afraid of me.”
It’s not a question, but I answer it anyway. “No.”
“Why?” he demands.
I shrug, my eyes dropping to his massive shoulders. There’s power in every inch of him, from the finely sculpted muscles in his body, the sharpness of his mind, to the absolute power he obviously has over everyone in his life. It’s just good sense to be cautious of him, and I can’t explain why I’m not.
“I don’t know,” I finally admit. “I think if you wanted to hurt me, you would’ve by now.”
“You don’t know me,” he says. It’s not a challenge, just a statement.
“You don’t want me to,” I return, shrugging one shoulder.
He watches me for a moment, then clips out, “Don’t flirt with my relatives.”
“Fine.”
“Don’t flirt with anyone.”
“Would you like me to just cut my vagina off while I’m at it?”
His other hand slams into the wall beside me, and that time I do jump. He has me firmly trapped between his arms, mere inches from his body, but I still hold his gaze.
“What’s your game?” he asks.
“Scrabble.” His eyes narrow, but I just smile. “I already told you I’m not playing any game.”
“Yes, you are.”
Finally looking away from him, I say, “Believe what you want, Mateo. Should I go make dinner or is it really canceled?”
“Get on your knees.”
My stomach drops, but strangely my loins stir at the same time. This isn’t like the other times; he doesn’t want me, he just wants to dominate me. I’m not Meg, I’m a mouth, and I don’t want to be.
And yet, I’m not allowed to tell him no. This is part of the agreement I made—whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Only I don’t want him right now—inconvenient, given how many times I have wanted him.
Since I can’t say no, I stare at his shoulder blankly. “Is that an order?”
“Did it sound like one?” he asks carefully.
I meet his gaze. “I just want clarification. Are you a man who wants a woman to suck his cock right now, or are you a master punishing your slave?”
If the look on his face didn’t tell me I’m the most vexing woman he’s ever met, the pronounced rise and fall of his chest as he clearly struggles with his desire to strangle me certainly would.
“You want me to fuck you, Meg?” he finally asks, dropping his hands from the wall and grabbing my hips. “Is that what you want?”
“Not right now, no,” I say, but he’s already pushing my panties down my legs, and my pussy is reacting to the dominance.
“You don’t want me?” he asks, pressing his erection between my legs anyway.
“I don’t want to be used by you,” I correct, bringing my hands up to push against his chest.
“What if I want to use you?” he asks, leaning in to nip at my earlobe.
“I won’t stop you,” I state as he uses his knee to nudge my legs farther apart.
“Good,” he says, making quick work of unbuttoning his pants.
I swallow, unprepared for him to grab my ass and lift me. I try to reach for something to hold onto, but there’s nothing. He enters me hard and I groan, slick but not prepared. Bracing me against the wall, he holds me suspended in the air, his cock pounding relentlessly between my legs. This isn’t for pleasure; he’s just making a point, staking a claim of ownership. Despite his attempt to reprimand me, each deep plunge brings me closer to a climax.
“You like that?” he asks roughly, thrusting deep. “Is this what you wanted?”
Still annoyed with him, I say, “Eh, a little to the left.”
A bark of laughter surprises me, but he’s shaking his head with a hint of genuine mirth as he shifts his hips and drives into me.
I gasp, throwing my head back against the wall, and boy does he look proud of himself.
“Better?” he asks, so damn smugly.
I want to keep talking, but I can’t, because oh my lord, the friction. “Don’t stop,” I breathe, moving my hips to meet his thrusts.
So of course he does. He pulls out of me, lets me down, and I stare at him, betrayed.
“I just said—”
He turns me around and bends me over. I grab onto the wall, spreading my legs, and before I can finish complaining, he’s entering me again. God, he feels so good.
“How about that?” he asks.
“If you stop this time, I’m going to wrestle you to the ground and ride your cock until you let me come.”
“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, but he doesn’t stop. “Don’t tempt me.”
“Don’t stop fucking me,” I return, pushing harder against the wall, as the force of him fucking me is running me dangerously close to a concussion.
Mateo buries his cock inside me over and over, again and again, until finally I’m rocked by an intense wave of pleasure. “Oh my god,” I cry between moans, riding out my orgasm as he continues to fuck me. Weak from release, I lose my grip on the wall, but I grab it again and try to stand long enough for him to finish. He does, a minute later, right inside me.
I’m startled at first, but I guess there wasn’t really time to grab a condom.
Once he recovers from his own orgasm, he spins me around, tugging my dress down, and gives me a deceptively gentle kiss.
“So… dinner?” I ask.
Cracking a smile, he shakes his head. “Go to my room. I’ll be up in a few minutes.”
“Oh… okay.”
“Bring water. We’re going to need it,” he states.