Chapter 7

“You have to be tired,” he says, watching me from across the table.

“A little,” I say, eating the last bite of bacon that fell from my sandwich. Normally, I’d be passed out by now. It’s almost eleven and I have to be awake and dressed for my morning shift by four tomorrow morning. But my body is revolting against its normal routine. Sitting so close to Nathan, being in his apartment, it’s making me feel all sorts of things—anxious, yet comfortable; uncertain, yet safe. Going to sleep is the last thing on my mind. “Too bad we don’t have any pie for dessert.”

Nathan’s brow arches, and I stop picking at my plate and stare at him.

“Why do you always have pie for breakfast?” I ask, because I’ve always wondered that and have never had the chance to ask. Besides, I want to know more about him. I want to know everything about him.

He shrugs, and for a second I think he’s going to avoid the question, or maybe he doesn’t have a reason.

“I grew up in foster care. I never got to choose what I wanted for breakfast or any meal for that matter, and we never had dessert.” His tone is even and honest. I’ve caught glimpses of his vulnerability, but nothing like this.

“How did you go from foster care to this?” I ask, feeling completely impressed and mesmerized by the man in front of me.

“My parents adopted me when I was fourteen. If it weren’t for them, I’d probably be dead or in prison.”

I want to argue that what he’s saying isn’t true, but I’ve seen it happen to people, people I know.

“What about you?” he asks. “Where are your parents? Where are you from?”

What about me? That’s a good question … or a boring one. “There’s not much to tell, really. Small town girl who couldn’t wait to get out. My dad worked at an auto repair place my whole life, barely making ends meet. Still does. My mom is on husband number eight. I haven’t seen her in ten years.”

“So, you moved to the city by yourself?”

“Yep. The week after I graduated from high school, I packed up two suitcases and a box of books and hitched a ride with my cousin who was on his way to California.” I laugh dryly, shaking my head. “I had a thousand dollars to my name and felt like the world was my oyster.”

“Then what?” he asks, giving me a small smile.

“I got a job at the diner the second day I was here. A lady had just quit, and Mack was desperate, took a chance on an unknown. I tried to go to college but ended up blowing through the little bit of money I had saved up and was forced to quit.”

He nods. “Sometimes, all we need in life is for someone to believe in us.”

“You sound like one of those inspirational posters.”

He laughs, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and it’s beautiful. He’s beautiful.

When he looks back up at me, his face goes serious.

I start to fidget, feeling the weight of his stare. So instead of sitting there, feeling awkward, I pick up my empty plate and then his, making myself useful.

“Don’t,” Nathan says, stopping me with his hand on my arm.

“What?”

“You don’t have to clean up. I’ll do it.”

“I want to. You cooked. I’ll clean.”

He stands and takes the plates from me, setting them on the counter, his body so close to mine.

“You take the bed,” he says, his voice low.

“No.” I shake my head. “I can’t do that. You’ve already given me a place to stay. I’ll take the couch. Besides,” I tell him, looking over at the over-sized cushions, “it’s probably more comfortable than any bed I’ve ever slept on.” I laugh lightly and then catch his gaze, his jaw set in a tight line again.

Something happens when he looks back at me. He takes a step closer, towering over me. The tension is palpable, and the air feels thick. I can’t keep my eyes off his lips, wanting so badly for him to kiss me again, wondering if that was a one-time deal or something he regrets.

Slowly, he traces down my arm, and then his hand is on my waist, pulling me to him. My breath hitches in my throat, and my nerves kick into full force because I want this so bad.

“Please tell me you can feel how much I want you. Please tell me you want me too,” he says in a husky tone, his mouth so close to my ear I can feel his hot breath, and it sends chills up my spine and a flood of heat through my body.

“I want you. I want to be inside you.” His boldness makes my knees go weak, and I grip his biceps to keep from melting into a heap on the floor.

“Have me,” I tell him, summoning all the bravery I can to match his.

“If we do this, it’s exclusive,” he says, like it’s a warning, but it feels anything but. It feels more like a promise.

“Okay.” I nod, ready to agree to anything to be with him.

“If you’re mine, you’re mine,” he growls, and my stomach nearly leaps out of my body.

“Okay,” I whisper again. “I—that’s … what I want.” I’ve never belonged to anyone, but if I were going to belong to someone, anyone … I’d want it to be him.

Without another word, he pulls me even closer, and I’m in total submission, molding to his touch and allowing him to have me any way he wishes.

One hand is in my hair and the other is on my backside, gripping tightly as he walks me backward out of the kitchen. The next thing I know, I’m being lifted off my feet and carried.

“Please tell me you’re not a virgin,” Nathan says, breathing heavily. “As much as I would love to be the only person who’s been inside you, I don’t think I’ll be able to go slow.”

“I’m not,” I say between desperate breaths.

With the pause in action, I begin to second-guess what I’ve agreed to. We’ve only kissed once, haven’t even been on a date or anything, and now I’m being carried to his bed.

“But I don’t do this … have sex with someone I’m not dating. I haven’t had sex in a long time.” My voice sounds panicked and my heart races, but I grip onto him tighter.

He growls, and again it goes straight to my core. The need I feel for him grows, and the need he feels for me is evident between my legs. I can feel his hard length pressing against his thin slacks.

Without permission, my body takes on a mind of its own and rubs against his, and he hisses between his teeth. “Fuck,” he groans. “You.” His eyes bore into mine. “Just when I think you couldn’t be more perfect, you say things like that and completely turn me inside out. I want you so damn bad, but if you want to do slow, we can do slow.”

“No.” I shake my head. “No. I want this.” My words are true and firm. I mean it. “I didn’t realize how badly I wanted it until now. Not just want, need … I need you. Please.”

In one swift move, Nathan tosses me onto the bed and pulls his shirt over his head, dropping it to the floor. Next are his slacks. No hesitation as he pops the button and unzips them, letting them fall to his feet. Unashamedly, he sheds his boxers and stands there in all his glory.

Holy. Shit.

“Off,” he says, pointing to his shirt and sweatpants I’m wearing like they’re offending him. “As much as I love seeing you in my clothes, I want to see you.”

I do as I’m told, quickly pulling the shirt over my head and shimmying out of the pants. They’re so loose it’s easy work, and since I didn’t put any panties on after my shower, I’m completely naked … bare, exposed, vulnerable … and somehow it’s okay.

“So perfect,” he mutters before climbing over me, his arms caging me in. Normally, an action like this would make me feel trapped, but instead, safe and wanted. Desired.

“Just to be clear,” he says, his voice smooth and low. “I plan on fucking you.”

My eyes grow wide at his candor, and the wetness between my thighs multiplies. I don’t reply, because I don’t know how to. No one has ever talked to me like this.

“Spread your legs for me, Kadi. Let me make you feel good.”

My knees fall to the sides as he leans back and kneels between them. I watch as he sticks two fingers in his mouth and then runs them down my slit, circling my entrance. After a few more passes without penetration, I’m practically begging for it. My hips arch off the bed, and I grip the soft blanket beneath me in both hands. Closing my eyes, I let myself just feel.

When he finally slips two fingers inside and something hot touches my clit, I practically jump off the bed. I open my eyes to see Nathan’s gorgeous head between my legs, and I nearly come right then. It only takes a few more minutes before his talented tongue and fingers coax an orgasm out of me… and then another.

“That’s perfect,” Nathan’s voice soothes from down below. “So fucking perfect.”

I can’t stand it any longer. I need him. I need to feel his weight, and I want him inside of me. I want to know what it’s like. I want to be his.

“Please … I—I need you … To feel you,” I plead.

Crawling up the bed, he settles himself against the headboard. “Come here.” He crooks a finger in my direction, inviting me over.

I never feel sexy. That’s just not me. But in this instant, with him looking at me with hooded eyes and a cockiness that stirs something deep inside me, I do. Rolling over onto my stomach, I crawl toward him, kneeling beside him.

He reaches into his nightstand and pulls out a condom. The thought had crossed my mind, but after the mind-blowing series of orgasms, I’d kind of forgotten. I’m glad he’s on his game.

I watch intently as he opens the package and unrolls the condom down his length, the need I’ve felt since he said he was going to fuck me beginning to build. I want him. More than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.

“Come here,” he instructs, gripping my hips and guiding me into place.

The second he’s at my entrance, I freeze. What if it hurts? What if I’m not what he wants? Self-doubt is a bitch.

“Look at me, Kadi,” he demands. “Keep your eyes on me.”

I lock eyes with him, the tension increasing. His teeth come down on his bottom lip as I allow the tip of his erection inside. It feels good. So damn good. “More,” I pant, breaking our gaze to look down between us as his length slides in another inch.

“So tight,” Nathan says with a moan. “So. Fucking. Perfect.” Each word is emphasized as his hands grip tighter on my hips, like he’s holding on for his life.

After a few seconds, I slide down until our hips meet. His pelvis rubs perfectly against my clit, making me moan in approval.

“Does it feel good?” he asks.

I nod, my breath catching in my throat, stealing my words.

“Tell me. Tell me how good I make you feel.”

“So fucking good,” I cry as he forces my hips up and down, faster and faster. I’ve never felt this way, so free and uninhibited. On a hard thrust, I throw my head back and cry out, losing the last of my nerves.

“Who does this ass belong to?” he growls.

“You.” I pant, now matching his pace and intensity.

“Tell me again,” he demands, gripping my backside, his fingers digging into my flesh, causing it to sting in the most delicious way.

“It’s yours.” I let out a deep breath, leaning over as he continues to push inside me. My lips graze his skin and I taste him. And breathe him in, his scent washing over me, infiltrating my senses—spices, woods, clean cotton, and something singularly him.

He’s consuming me. Owning me. Making me want things I never dreamed of before—this, him.

**T10**

When I awake in darkness, I forget where I am. For a split second, I feel like I might’ve been dreaming—a very real, world-changing dream, but a dream, nevertheless.

But then I feel the difference in the bed and sheets beneath me. It’s quiet. Different.

I almost panic, but then I feel strong arms wrap around my torso and pull me in tight.

Nathan.

Flashes of last night play like an old home movie in my mind, his words coming back to me.

“I don’t share.”

Possessing.

Belonging.

I never saw myself as someone who needed someone else. I made it fine on my own. I wasn’t looking for anyone when Nathan happened to cross my path. But now, lying here in his arms, I can’t imagine wanting anything less.

But what does he want from me?