The doorbell rang and Tessa was up before either of the other two could react. Evangeline had stared at the TV for fifteen solid minutes and still couldn’t say what exactly they’d been watching.
Her mind was on Tank and his mother. She couldn’t figure out what his mother would gain if she split them up. It was clear there was hardly any love lost between those two.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she heard Tessa say while Hils clicked off the TV.
“Where is she?”
Ev recognized that voice and it propelled her from her seat right into the hallway and Tank’s waiting arms. He squeezed her tightly, a halo of cold surrounding him from the Californian winter.
Granted, it was mild compared to other countries, but it certainly was colder than California was used to—yet still somewhat warm in her mind.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered over and over until Ev felt her heart cracking.
She kissed his cheek, not able to pull away any further because he didn’t let go of her. Tessa and Jazz vanished into the living room, and although she could hear the hushed voices, she didn’t understand a word and didn’t really care about it, either.
“It wasn’t your fault,” she replied, her tone quiet.
“I didn’t cheat,” he added and finally she struggled until he let her go enough for her to see his face.
His face had fallen, the light in his eyes dimmed.
She cupped his cheek, making sure he watched her eyes as she said her next words. “I never once believed that. Besides the fact that I knew you were out with Jazz and he’d kick your ass if you even tried, I never felt so sure about trusting someone like I do with you this moment.”
His blue eyes seemed to water, but she could hardly believe that.
After all, this was Tank they were talking about.
“Why?”
“Why?” she echoed, wondering what they hell he meant, what she had missed.
“Why do you trust me?”
How could he be so emotionally scarred that he didn’t see what she saw in him? That he didn’t notice his tenderness and his devotion and support?
Then it hit her.
It was her fault because when he’d been nothing but giving, she’d done nothing but take what he’d offered.
Before she could reply, Tessa, Jazz, and Hilary appeared in the hallway.
“We’re off. Ela called because Johnny seems to be waking constantly, so we need to check on him. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Tessa announced, kissing Evy’s cheek before giving Tank a glance Evangeline couldn’t read.
He surprised her by reaching out, touching his fingertip to Tessa’s nose.
“Tie him to the bed if you have to,” he whispered and Tessa blushed while Jazz shot his best friend a glare.
“See you soon, former best friend,” Jazz gritted out, then they were out the door and Hilary stretched where she stood, faking a yawn so obviously, the next-door-neighbors had probably noticed it, too.
“I’m so tired. I’m off to bed. Good night!”
And with that she was up the stairs when Tank suddenly cursed.
“What’s wrong?” Evangeline asked and Tank shook his head.
“Jazz promised to drop me off at the bar again to pick up my car, and now he’s gone.”
“Stay here tonight.”
He closed his eyes, lifting his head to the ceiling, and Evy couldn’t help but question how they’d gotten so far as to already be in a position where he didn’t want to stay by her side for even a night—especially when they hadn’t had one yet.
“Look, I can also—”
A wide smile suddenly broke over his face. “I’ve been thinking about staying with you, holding you through the night, but I wasn’t sure you really wanted to, and I didn’t want to force you or anything, so… Yes, I’d happily stay.”
She drew him into the living room first, because she wanted to talk to him. He sat, drawing her onto his lap right away. He kissed her neck and she shivered, brushing her fingertips through his dark blond hair.
“You’ve been growing it out,” she commented and nodded.
“I figured it was… less soldier-like, less to remind me of my old ways and days. I never thought changing would be easy, but I did change even before you came to the US… permanently.”
She leaned in, kissing his cheek before whispering, “You were hot with the very short hair, but like this?”
He laughed, cupping the back of her neck before drawing her in for a kiss. She let him taste her, and she tasted him right back.
There was the bitterness of beer and the sweet remnants of mint left by a piece of chewing gum.
When she pulled back, she pressed her lips to his nose and then held his eyes. “You’re hot either way, Tank, so if you feel more comfortable wearing it ultra-short, I’m fine with it.”
He surprised her by pulling the hairband from her braid and then combed his fingers through her dark strands, his touch gentle, careful.
“I don’t care either way, and if you prefer the longer version, I’m your man. I mean… I’m always your man.” He shook his head. “But I’m doing what you like more because seriously as long as you look at me the way you sometimes do, when you aren’t focused on work and—”
She rested her forehead against his, sighing. “I’m the worst girlfriend ever,” she whispered, meaning it, regretting it.
“You aren’t,” he assured her, but she just shook her head, feeling tears come to her eyes. She squeezed them closed, hoping to keep the tears at bay.
“You said yourself you didn’t have a relationship so far and you have nothing to compare this to. I guess it’s my luck, but it’s not what I want. It’s not how I want us to be. It’s not what you deserve, Tank. I promise, if that gala isn’t the biggest fail of my life, I’ll show you exactly how it should be, and I’ll treat you the way a girlfriend should treat an amazing boyfriend like you.”
“You—”
“No,” she stated, not even letting him get in a word. “If I’d been the girlfriend I should have, you wouldn’t have believed I could think you’d cheat on me. You wouldn’t have doubted yourself and your amazingness if I’d have done my girlfriend job right. Then again, I lack in the best friend department, too. This gala…”
God, she was making excuses and yet she already felt terrified of the time when the job wasn’t going to occupy her mind twenty-four-seven anymore, because then it would be time to admit that maybe she didn’t know how to do human relationships, either.
* * *
Sitting there, with Evy in his lap, Tank realized for the first time that he wasn’t the only one worried about this, about messing up. It was obvious in her hazel eyes: the uncertainty, the doubt in her own qualities and he couldn’t help the utterly real smile coming to his lips.
They were a perfect match; better than he’d initially thought.
“You are doing everything you can, Ev. You can pick up the pieces after the gala because you’ll have the months and years to come. You’ll be here, and you won’t work an event like that anymore, mainly because we don’t have so many of these events here. Don’t forget that, okay? No one will go anywhere.”
She leaned in, resting her head on his shoulder, and he cuddled her close, inhaling deeply. “God, how is it possible to miss a person when you see her every day?” he asked and heard her swallow again.
“If I’m lucky and I haven’t lost everything after the gala, and my friends will still talk to me, I promise, Thom, I’ll make it up to you. I’ll make it up to you until you’re confident about everything you do.”
He shivered at the nickname she’d given him, a name no one had used before, and one he’d never allow anyone else to use. “I like that,” he muttered, brushing his fingertips through her dark hair.
“Holding me?” she asked and he chuckled.
“That’s a given. I meant the nickname. It’s…”
“Intimate?” she supplied and he nodded against the top of her head.
She was quiet for a moment before clearing her throat. “I need to tell you something,” she then said and he stiffened ever so slightly, hoping she hadn’t noticed. Yet when she pulled back, he knew she had, and she was smiling.
“It’s got nothing to do with you,” she assured him and he relaxed into her again.
“Then you’re free to tell me whatever.”
She leaned back in, as if she wanted to hide her face from him, and he felt how she pulled up her hand, probably playing with her lip if he had to guess. The movement against his chest was regular, slow, and he gave her time to contemplate her words.
“I love my sister,” she started and he couldn’t help but chuckle. If she started like that, there’d be a hell of a lot ‘buts’ coming.
“Noted,” he commented softly.
“She’s a fuck-up. Well, I guess it’s the word you’d use at least. She’s younger than me, and she gets what she has in life because she opens either her legs or her mouth, and if she does the second it’s not to talk. She’s fun, and loyal when she chooses it, and she’d always have my back, no matter what, but she didn’t work for anything in her life. She finished high school because she knew the right people, and by that I mean she did what she had to school-wise to take the notes that would be enough, and then be with the right people to get them to do essays and homework and all. So in exams she either cheated because she copied, or she made a bad grade.” She paused briefly, the bitterness not leaving her voice no matter how often she inhaled. “She brought home bad grades rather seldom, and if she did, my parents made excuses. However, god forbid I came home with a C. My parents would complain and fuss forever. Of course, if I came home with A’s then I probably copied from my neighbor.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered into her hair. She was smarter, more determined than most people he knew.
“Don’t be. I stopped feeling sorry for myself before I ever started university. I have bad days every now and then, but they get less and less. My parents loved me in their own way. I knew by the way my mother sometimes would come in at night, when she thought I was asleep, and kissed my forehead. She still does that to this day whenever I sleep there. Anyway, I wanted to earn their praise and I worked hard for it. I studied forever and I wanted to get the good grades, and I did. They nodded and were proud. Really proud. I loved the feeling, the smiles on their faces when they took me out to dinner to celebrate my first year of university with perfect grades. I made it by myself. Everything I’d done, everything I’d reached, I’d done by myself, and in university, about when I met Tess, I realized I was no longer doing it for them, but because people called me strong, determined, a leader. I loved it.”
He could imagine the pride she’d felt once she’d accomplished something by herself, could imagine it being addictive.
“But my parents still loved Cyn more. She got a job because during her interview her cleavage would spill out, and they’d be proud because she found such a good job. It didn’t matter that she hardly ever stayed anywhere because usually wives or girlfriends found out. Not that those reasons ever reached my parents’ ears.”
Tank sighed. “Because you didn’t tell them about the things their other daughter did?”
She laughed, but it was without humor. “I’d never do that to Cyn, Thom. She’s my sister. She had my back. She held me the whole night when I realized I was pregnant. She didn’t judge, she just sat and rubbed my back. Say what you want about her, but it’s not her fault my parents love her above anyone else. In fact, I don’t think she could care any less what they think, and the less she cares, the more my mother holds onto her. As if she knows I could never abandon her whereas Cyn might be walking away any given second.”
Tank decided to not comment on that. Toxic parents came in all shapes and sizes, and he knew how hard it was to walk away from one’s family, no matter how bad they were for a person.
After all, he went to check on his mother once a month, although that might fully stop after the stunt she’d pulled that evening.
“When Tess and I got really close, I started the same competitive behavior with her, and only realized it when she went to the US, her heart shattered and her mind on the verge of breaking, too. She came here, in a bad place because nothing in her life worked the way it was supposed to, but it all changed in a flash. Suddenly her life was the one to aim for, and mine the one you should leave behind.”
He squeezed her softly. “That’s not true. It was a mess, Ev, and you know that. Tessa’s life that is, and I don’t think it got any better until she got that job at the station. The job you got for her. The job she applied for because she accepted your help. She wasn’t above taking you up on your offer.”
Evangeline pulled back. “Exactly, I offered. This time around she didn’t.”
“Because it wasn’t her gala to plan, and you know that. What I was aiming for is her life got the way it is now because she accepted help when it was offered. In fact, if you look at it exactly the way it happened, everything changed when she accepted Jazz’s offer for help at the airport.”
She smiled gently. “I know what you’re trying to say, and I’m trying to let people help me, but honestly, it’s not even about that. I just want people to see what I can do, and I need it more than ever because the moment I have a chance to, I want to get rid of Lanestrong. It’s not going to happen this year, or next, because he got me the visa, but it will happen, and until then I’ll build my client list. So I need to rock this.”
He framed her face. “Ev, you need to understand that people will still be impressed with you if you let others do things for this event. It requires not only planning talent, but also organizational skills to have everything the way you want it.”
“I can’t give up more tasks.” She sighed.
Tank nodded. “Actually you can. Let me be with the guys and women decorating the venue, Ev. I can read plans, and I’m not dumb. Also, I listen when you talk, and you told me all your plans. Let me do that while you’re in the office, doing the phone calls and whatever else is happening. I’m sitting around most of the time, and I love your daughter like my own,”—he swallowed at the severity of that statement, the heaviness, but she didn’t even react to it—“I cannot sit around being unimportant another day.” He wanted to help her, too, and not just feel like a third wheel without any purpose.
“I like having you at the office because whenever I think I can’t do it, I look up, and I see you with Leila. It’s each time that I realize I need this gala to work because if not, I’ll lose my family.”
She still held his eyes, nothing but sincerity written in her hazel gaze, and he swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Family?” he croaked.
“My life’s complete because of you. I don’t feel the need to impress you, or be the best I can because you take me the way I am, and the way you treat Leila… If I wasn’t yours already, you could win me with that, Thomas. The way you treat her. The way you love her. You belong to my family now, and I have no plans of letting you get away, even if it’s getting too much for you.” Her voice broke and he wished he knew what to say to reassure her he wouldn’t walk away. “I might not hunt you down right away because… gala, but I would afterward. The moment Tessa and Jazz close the official part, the dinner over, the dancing about to begin, I’d be out of that room to find you and beg on my knees if I had to.”
“Evangeline.” He was choking on emotions and didn’t know where to go with them, so he cupped the back of her neck, holding her inches away from him. “You wouldn’t have to beg.”
And with that he claimed her mouth in a kiss before lifting her off the sofa, not caring that other people were in the house, or that he left the light on in the living room. He carried her upstairs, and the way she wrapped her legs around him, she didn’t seem to mind the slightest bit either.
* * *
There was no need for Tank to say any words because she understood. She’d seen the overwhelming emotions in his eyes, felt the gratitude in his kiss.
Maybe they should talk about his mother, about how she’d found her, what they should do about her, but when he placed her on the bed, leaving her just long enough to close the door before his lips were back on hers, she didn’t think talking was what they should do.
He moved until he was spread out on top of her, his weight pressing her into the mattress, making her stomach warm as the slow burn of arousal ran through her body.
“Thom,” she whispered and he captured her lips, kissing her until she wondered if he had any plans to take off her clothes. After all, their time wasn’t endless, and although Leila slept like a stone most of the time, Evy worried they could be interrupted that night of all nights.
“Are we going to get naked or did you just get me up here to reach first base?” she asked, not worried about ruining any mood because if he wasn’t going to do the first step, they’d reverse positions and Evy would tease him until he wasn’t able to resist anymore.
He chuckled and then caught her hands as she tried to push up his shirt. He brought her wrists together over her head, keeping both of them in one hand before he nibbled at her neck, kissing his way down. He pushed her shirt up with his free hand, his skin warm against hers, softer than expected and yet not as rough as she wanted.
“More, Thomas. I need more,” she pleaded. She wanted to feel his fingertips dig into her hips because he wanted her so much.
After all, it was how much she wanted him.
“I’m trying to do it slow and sweet, the way you deserve it,” he explained and she closed her eyes for a brief second before pulling her hands free and sitting up, careful to not bump heads with him.
“Listen up, soldier,” she announced while she dragged his shirt above his head, wrapping his dog tags around her finger, “I’m not Tessa. I’m neither goddamn breakable nor half a nun. Trust me, I don’t need sweet and slow. What I need is you.” She ditched her top, then drew him in, kissing him with everything she had, climbing back in his lap before rolling her hips. She felt his hands cup her backside and she wasn’t sure if he was going to push her away or draw her closer.
Not that she’d move anywhere unless they were getting naked.
“I’d never say you’re like Tessa, I just—”
She didn’t let him finish. “Good.” With that she moved until she could push him into the mattress, then she bowed over him, sucking at the soft skin on his neck before kissing her way lower, carefully scratching her nails across his nipples before biting them softly, teasing them and then moving even lower. His stomach hollowed out as he inhaled sharply, her teeth nipping at his hipbones.
“Ev, I’m not going to last long if you keep teasing me like that. And you haven’t even taken off anything important yet,” he rasped out, his hand already in her hair, lightly holding onto her.
“I’m on my way to do exactly that,” she announced against his skin, opening the button of his army greens, then she pushed them down. He’d lost his boots already, had kicked them off in the hallway, and she appreciated it, drawing the socks off as she freed him off the pants and the boxers in one move. He was naked before she was, but she didn’t pause to think about it.
She finally had the chance to get her hands and lips on him, on all of him, and wanted it.
“Evangeline—”
The words died on his lips as she kissed him right above the erection bobbing against her chin, and she felt him shiver when she wrapped her hand around him, not yet stroking, just putting mild pressure on it.
“Fuck.”
It was exactly the reaction she’d been aiming for before she licked across the tip of him, tasting his salty arousal.
“You’re not gonna make this very pleasant for yourself if you keep that up, Ev. I’ll be coming before you even know it,” he whispered, his voice cracking each time she circled her tongue again while slowly stroking up and down.
“The night’s long,” she stated and then looked up, meeting his eyes with a wink. “And so are you.”
He chuckled, taking a breath as if he was going to say something, but it turned into a moan when she sucked him in as deeply as she dared. She felt the strain in his thighs where her free hand rested, knowing he wanted to move his hips, but she appreciated him not doing it. Instead she found her own rhythm, teasing and nipping, licking and sucking until he hardened even more in her mouth.
“I’m… Stop. Please. Jesus, Evangeline.” She didn’t stop, even when his grip on her hair tightened.
“Fuck it,” Tank finally decided and she hummed in appreciation at his surrender, swirling her tongue while cupping his balls with her free hand. He bucked off the bed once and hot streams hit her tongue. She swallowed them down, almost tempted to smack her lips when she pulled back, grinning at him in the silver light falling in from the window. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to see the way his chest rose and fell with his rapid breathing.
She moved over his body, kissing her way up, and he drew her in, forcing her lips apart with his tongue, claiming her before putting her flat on her back. He pulled down the cup of her bra and flickered his tongue over her nipple, grinning wickedly when she moaned quietly, need surging through her tenfold.
He took his time worshipping her breasts and she didn’t mind, digging her nails into the comforter, biting her lip to not draw too much attention to what they were doing. She didn’t really care if Hilary heard them because she assumed her friend had guessed what would happen, but Ev didn’t want to wake her daughter. Interruption wasn’t what she had in mind, not when she needed Tank as badly as she did.
He loosened her bra and she bowed off the bed a little to help him get rid of it, then he slid one finger between her cleavage, down her stomach, rubbing it over her middle over the material, with not enough pressure.
“More,” she begged, wondering if her treatment had felt like torture to him, too.
He hooked his hands into the waistband of her pants and drew them down, leaving her with only panties on before kissing her core—again above the material.
“Don’t tease me,” she pleaded and he grinned.
“Tit for tat, beautiful,” he promised and damn, Evy was looking forward to it no matter what.
* * *
Tank couldn’t believe how easy it was being with Evy, how easily he could let go—and how much he enjoyed discovering every inch of her body.
He hadn’t lied to Jazz when he’d said that he’d never had sex in a bed. On the floor, standing, on a table, sure, but in a bed? Never.
He’d always thought it would forge too much of a connection, be too intimate and he’d been right, because this, taking your time, tasting every single inch of Evy’s skin just made him fall for her more, made him want to repeat this more often than not.
He pulled down her panties and then kissed his way up the inside of her left leg while his hand traced the same path on her right one. She shivered under his ministrations, the sounds she made spurring him on more. He wanted to go fast even while he wanted to go slow.
He glanced up every now and again, watching how she bit her lip, how she writhed under him, tried to get more friction, reaching for something to hold onto only to end back with her hands curled into the sheets.
When he finally reached his destination after kissing her thighs, the soft skin leading up to her sensitive core, he inhaled briefly, nervous even though he knew there was no reason.
He couldn’t go wrong because she was already on the verge of something beautiful.
This time when she reached out, she drowned her hands in his hair and he liked the way she tugged on his strands.
“Patience,” he chuckled, knowing it was hopeless. Just like she, he had barely any self-restraint left.
“Tank,” she replied, her voice breathy, and he finally leaned in, flattening his tongue against her core and she arched off the bed.
“Yes!”
He smiled to himself at how hard she tried to stay quiet and yet couldn’t. He saw her press the back of her hand over her lips and he reached for her free hand, entwining their fingers while he licked her with long, lazy strokes designed to drive her crazy.
She moved against him, wiggling her hips, and he pressed his free arm across her lower abdomen, keeping her as immobile as he could.
“Jesus, Thomas, you… I… don’t stop,” she pleaded. “Actually do and take me,” she then added, leaning up a little, trying to catch his eyes.
He grinned, knowing she’d see the wicked gleam in his eyes as he released her hand and pushed two fingers into her, curling them slightly and feeling even prouder when she just dropped back into the pillows with a low moan.
“You’re… Tank… Jesus…”
Finally he let up, moving over her body until he covered her fully, kissing her lips. “I?” he asked, slowly rolling his hips, his hard again erection rubbing against her core. He had a condom, he was sure of it, when she reached for the nightstand, pulling out a whole pack.
He coughed, his question forgotten, and she laughed throatily.
“You should maybe thank Hilary tomorrow. I wonder how Tessa felt when finding them in her nightstand.”
“Like she’s your freaking mother,” he muttered, moving a little lower again to pull one pebbled nipple between his lips.
“Like someone who… ohhhh.”
Yeah, that was much better than the talking. His immediate worry about protection was satisfied. Not that he worried about her carrying an STD, and he knew he wasn’t because they were tested regularly on base, but she’d walked away with a child from a one night stand once, and he wouldn’t let that happen again.
Even though he hoped this would be a regular thing soon.
He also knew it wasn’t really their first time, but it felt like it, as if they started all over again, and he loved the feeling.
“Roll it on,” he whispered, watching how she grabbed one with shaky hands, chuckling breathlessly as they both stared at her trembling fingers.
Tank caught them in his, worried something was off.
“You okay?” he asked, softly kissing her nose, and she dropped her head back into the pillows, staring at the ceiling.
“Yes?” he nudged and she huffed.
“You’ll laugh at me.”
Rolling his hips yet again so she could feel how much he wanted her, he stated, “Laughing is pretty much the last thing on my mind.”
She met his eyes after a second. “I’m nervous. What if I’m not good? I mean, it’s been a while, and this… I feel as if I never had sex before and… ugh.” She groaned in frustration and he took the unwrapped condom from her, rolling it on before settling between her legs, making sure she met his eyes as he placed his hands left and right of her face.
“No reason to laugh whatsoever. It feels exactly the same for me, Evangeline,” he assured her and then pushed into her in one long, slow stroke.
God, she fit him perfectly, although it was obvious she’d birthed a child. She wasn’t such a tight, snug fit like they always made you believe in the porn you could watch online.
Fine, the movies he was thinking of maybe weren’t the right comparison.
However, this was right, perfect, and he wanted nothing more.
She wrapped her legs around him, urging him on while he leaned down to kiss her, but he wasn’t going to rush anything.
No, Tank wanted to take his time, making sure she knew how much he appreciated her and the fact that she’d taken a chance on him.
With his movements, his caresses and touches, he said everything he didn’t dare to form with his lips.
All the promises of forever he never thought he’d make, all the assurances that she’d be the only one he’d want for the rest of his life, he made with his skin on hers—for the rest of the night until he was sure she couldn’t have any doubts left.