Chapter Nine

Pierce

My mama was surprised when I invited myself to church with her on Sunday. But sitting in that pew felt right. She’d always insisted we accompany her as kids, but it got harder to drag our lazy butts out of bed when we were teens. That was probably when I could have used the direction the most, but I was stubborn, determined to do things my way, and eventually my mama learned which battles were worth fighting. She also told me she’d pray for me, and I was grateful I had someone putting in a good word for me with the man upstairs because there were days I was convinced that was the only thing that got me through.

I saw Keira come in a little late. She was with her sister, who shot me a dirty look before they claimed a seat beside their mama in the front. She’d known I was going to be there. I’d texted to tell her, suggesting we might get together afterward, but she said she had brunch plans with her family. She’d suggested we get together that evening. The hotel room I’d rented meant we could have some alone time together and even though we’d made love several times since the pool, I didn’t want her to think it was all about the sex for me. I wanted this girl back in my life, any way I could get her.

I sat there listening to Keira’s daddy talk about a local family who’d fallen on hard times when the father lost his factory job. They were at risk of losing their home, and the church was taking up a collection and asking everyone to contribute whatever they could to help the family out. I’d gone to high school with one of the Flaherty boys, the youngest, though I didn’t know the family well. I knew, after the service, I’d pay the pastor a visit and make an anonymous donation. It felt like the right thing to do.

After the service, my mama grabbed my hand and smiled. “I’m so glad you came with me today.”

“I am too, Mama.” I felt good. A sense of peace I hadn’t felt in a long time washed over me, making me feel like everything would be okay.

Keira was talking to a group of ladies at the front of the church, but her eyes kept drifting back to mine, and we both smiled. Church wasn’t the place to announce to the town we were seeing each other again, though I wouldn’t have minded if she felt so inclined to let everyone know.

“I’m going out to breakfast with the girls so that we can talk about your concert. You wanna tag along?”

The thought of sitting through breakfast with a bunch of gabby sixty-somethings in their Sunday best just didn’t do it for me. “That’s okay, Mama. There’s somethin’ I need to take care of. I’ll pass by the house later.”

“You better,” she said, smiling. Her gaze drifted to Keira. “Maybe you’d both like to come to Sunday dinner?”

“Maybe.” I leaned in to kiss her cheek. “I’ll call you later to let you know, okay?”

She patted my cheek. “See that you do.”

I stepped outside to wait until the crowds had cleared out. I shook a lot of hands and suffered a lot of curious glances. While most people welcomed me back, the church crowd seemed more reluctant. I suspected they all remembered what a hell-raiser I’d been back in the day.

“Hey,” Keira said, resting her hand on my back. “What’re you still doin’ here?”

“I wanted to hang back and talk to your dad for a bit.”

She looked concerned when she looked over her shoulder. “Oh, um, you think that’s a good idea? I mean, maybe you should wait until—”

“Don’t worry. It’s not about us.”

I could understand why she thought it would be. I hadn’t had a conversation with her daddy since our break-up and it was certainly long overdue. He didn’t think I was a good man and it would be up to me to prove him wrong if I wanted him to be my father-in-law someday.

“Oh.” She looked a little deflated. “It’s not that I think it’s a bad idea, you talkin’ to Daddy about us. It’s just—”

“It’s okay.” I smiled. “You don’t have to explain. You said you needed time to think. I get it.”

“He might ask why you’re back though,” she said, sticking her hands into the pockets of her black flouncy skirt. “What’ll you say if he does?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Depends, I guess.”

She frowned. “You’re actin’ kind of strange today. You sure you’re okay?”

I chuckled. “Baby, it’s takin’ everything in me not to kiss you right now. Let’s just say practicin’ self-control ain’t my strong suit.” I gave her a pointed look, remembering what I’d said to her in that hotel room last year. “Only where you’re concerned.”

She smiled. “I like that,” she whispered, rolling forward on her toes so her lips were only a few inches from my ear. “That you have a hard time controllin’ yourself when you’re with me.”

Keira’s sister called out her name, giving me the stink eye. “Guess I’m gonna have to work on her too, huh?”

Two of Keira’s brothers and her other older sister had attended the service and most looked at me the same way Connie had—like I was something disgusting they’d scraped off the bottom of their shoe. The only one who’d given me a faint smile was Mrs. Reynolds, but I knew that’s because she wasn’t as judgemental as the rest of her family. She tried to see the good in everyone, even men who broke her baby girl’s heart apparently.

She reached for my hand. “Hey, you don’t have to work at impressin’ anyone. You are who you are, and I wouldn’t change you for anything. If my family can’t understand the decisions I make, that’s their problem.”

I took that as a good sign. Maybe all the thinking she’d been doing and the time we’d spent together were leading her back to me after all. “I should get back inside and talk to your daddy.” I kissed her hand. “Have a nice time with your family.”

“Good luck with my daddy,” she said, winking. “And don’t let him intimidate you. His bark is worse than his bite.”

I chuckled. “If you say so.”

Pastor Reynolds was still standing at the front of the church, engaged in an animated conversation about the upcoming annual fair. I hung back, resisting the urge to check my phone. I didn’t need to give the man another reason to think I was disrespectful.

He accompanied his companions to the door, shaking hands and slapping backs as they promised to see him next week, if not before. He closed the large oak doors slowly before turning to face me.

“I must say, this is a surprise, Pierce.”

I offered my hand. “Sir.”

He looked at it for a split second before clasping it. We both knew I wasn’t his favorite person, but we were in a place of worship where he preached forgiveness and understanding, so I assumed he was making an effort to practice what he preached.

“I was wonderin’ if I could speak to you in private for a few minutes.”

There were a few people still milling about in the basement and in the offices down the hall, folks who worked with and respected the pastor and no doubt thought they knew the kind of man I was from the rumors they’d heard.

“I suppose so,” he said, giving me a steady look that told me he’d have turned me down if he could have.

I followed him down a narrow hallway into a private office marked with his name. I’d never been in this office before. Even when I asked for his daughter’s hand—which he’d been reluctant to give—it had been at his house, after a Sunday dinner his wife invited me to.

“I’d like to make an anonymous donation to the Flaherty family,” I said, sitting in a guest chair while he faced me behind his desk. “Is there any way you could find out how much the mortgage on their farm is? I’d like to pay it off.”

He gaped at me before snapping his mouth shut. “I thought you wanted to talk to me about my daughter. Word has it you two have been seein’ each other again.”

“We have,” I admitted. “But I’m not sure there’s much to talk about yet. Keira said she needs time to think and I can respect that.”

He removed his silver-framed glasses before rubbing his blue eyes. He looked tired, a lot older and wearier than I remembered. Maybe the stress of running the church while trying to mend his baby girl’s broken heart—to convince her it was for the best we’d parted—had taken its toll on him.

“I don’t have to tell you how I feel about infidelity, I’m sure. It’s a sin and—”

“I didn’t cheat on her.” I waited for that to sink in before I looked him directly in the eye and said, “I lied to her, but I didn’t cheat.”

“I don’t understand. Why would you tell her you had if you hadn’t?”

“She wasn’t happy.” I swallowed, thinking back to some of the bitter fights we’d had about how my priorities were all screwed up and I’d forgotten what really mattered. She thought I only cared about making money and getting famous. And maybe back then I had, but I knew better now. I knew better so I could do better. “She wasn’t happy with me.” I cleared my throat. “I could see that my life wasn’t for her. She’d loved this life…” I gestured around us. “Close friends, family, tight-knit community, church on Sunday. This was the life she loved, the only life she’d ever known. She didn’t love my lifestyle with the constant traveling, paparazzi, and the thought of moving to Nashville.”

“I have to admit I hoped she’d grow up to marry a nice local boy from an upstanding family who…” He hesitated. “Not that your mama’s not good people, mind you. She’s a fine woman.”

“It’s okay. I know what you meant.” My daddy was from the wrong side of the tracks, and no one ever let him forget it. But my mama saw past that and despite all his faults managed to love him anyway.

“I guess I thought I knew what was best for her.” He sighed. “But I can see now that I didn’t. Ever since y’all broke up she’s become someone I barely recognize anymore.”

I’d seen a lot of changes in her too, but I knew underneath all the superficial shit she was still the girl I loved.

“She’s been lookin’ for something.” He glanced at a wall of framed photos. Weddings and baptisms he’d performed, families he’d helped. “I’d hoped she could find it here—with my help—but it hasn’t worked out that way.”

“I’m sure she’ll find her own way,” I said, biting my lip. “Do what’s right for her, what makes her happy.”

“And you’re not tryin’ to influence her decision?” he asked, leaning back and folding his hands over his slight paunch.

“No sir, I’m not. I learned my lesson the hard way. I lost her once before because I was stupid enough to believe my way was the only way. Now I know it’s not. It’s her life, and she has the right to live it any way she sees fit.”

“Then you’re not lookin’ to get back together?”

“I didn’t say that.” I wanted that more than anything, but I knew better than to plead my case. “If she decides it’s what she wants, I’ll always be there waiting for her. But—”

“You’d be willing to wait for her?” he asked, sounding surprised. “No matter how long it took?”

“I would.” I didn’t expect him to believe me. He’d never had much use for me, with good reason, and I knew it would take more than a few words to convince him I’d changed.

He looked thoughtful as he said, “Hmm.”

“About that donation…”

“I happen to know how much they owe on the farm,” he said, reaching for a sheet of paper under a larger stack. “We had a nice long chat when we told them we were going to do some fundraising for them. They have a PayPal account—in case you want to make a donation that way.” After putting his glasses back on, he scanned the numbers. “It seems the mortgage is a hundred and twenty thousand dollars, so whatever you could give would be much app—”

“I’ll take care of it all.”

“The whole amount?” he asked, looking stunned.

“I don’t have to tell you the music business has been good to me. I can afford to do this. I want to do this.” It was a drop in the bucket to me, but it would mean the world to them.

He was looking at me like he was seeing me for the first time, trying to size up a stranger to decide whether he was trustworthy or not. “I heard about this benefit concert you’re doin’ too. That’s a mighty nice thing.”

“It’s no big deal,” I said, raising a shoulder. “Just called in a few favors. When I told my friends it was for military families in my hometown, they were happy to help out.”

His lips twitched before he said, “You know, Pierce, I’ve counseled a lot of families over the years. Distraught parents of troubled youth and a lot of time I see those delinquent boys and girls go on to become disturbed adults, goin’ from job to job, in and out of jail. But not you.”

“I guess music saved me.” I looked him in the eye. “Music and your daughter. She made me want to be a better man.”

“You’re still not drinkin’?”

“Haven’t had a drop in years.” Not that I hadn’t been tempted this past year. There were a lot more meetings and late-night calls to my sponsor than there’d been in the previous four years combined.

“I’m glad to hear that.” He smiled. “Really glad to hear that. I know it isn’t easy. It takes a strong man to make that kind of decision and stick to his guns even when it’s hard.” He sighed. “I wish your daddy had that kind of strength.”

“So do I.” Maybe if he had, my brother and I could have had a real relationship with him before he died. Or maybe he wouldn’t have died at all. His body wouldn’t have failed, and he would have been around to witness our success and the kind of men we’d become.

“We can’t do anything about the past, Pierce.”

“No sir, we can’t.”

“But we can do something about the here and now.” He stood and this time he was the one to offer his hand. “And the future.” He clasped his other hand over our joined ones. “And I sincerely hope you get everything you deserve, son.”