Chapter 21
“What do you mean she ran into Lord Thorton? If you had told me Cynthia was still here I would have insisted she leave,” James exclaimed.
Jasmine sat, her lips in a tight frown. “Which is exactly why I did not tell you. She was not ready to leave and you would have caused a bother, unwilling to leave without her. I refused to have her dragged physically from my house. And after the abduction you planned, I would not put it past you. The only other way you would have gotten her to leave would have been to tell her father—and I do not even want to imagine that scenario.”
His sister still had not forgiven him, not that he had expected her to. If only she could understand that he had only wanted what was best for her and now he only wanted what was best for Sin. “I could have told our father.”
“And I am sure that would have ended exactly as you wished. Do you even know if Scarlett will allow you to marry her?”
“I believe that my choice of wife is just that, my choice.”
Jasmine didn’t answer, only continued to stare at him.
Actually, Scarlett had always been more than fond of her and James had no doubt that he would be pleased with the marriage, but…“No, that would not be a good plan. Father can be unpredictable. Still, you should not have let her roam the house.”
Jasmine pulled her shoulders back, her eyes flashing anger. “I did not let her do anything. She was in my chamber. It never occurred to me that she would leave, or I would have left a footman to guard the door. And no, he would not have laid a hand on her, but he would have alerted me if she went roaming, as you call it. And yes, I know Sin and should have realized that she was unlikely to sit peacefully.”
“But Thorton.”
“That was most misfortunate, although he did not actually recognize her beyond being sure that she was a lady. I think he believes she was some married woman cuckolding her husband or—and for some reason Thorton finds this even more scandalous—a married woman meeting her husband here. I do not understand that man.”
“None of us do,” James added. “Although, I don’t remember him always being this way. He was rigid and not good company, but he was not a man to cause trouble. If anything, I thought him a milquetoast.”
“I could only wish. I am afraid I may have to ban him. Ruby advised against it, but he does make himself a nuisance. He screamed at me for ten minutes about how I should have prevented ‘that perverted young lady’ from being here. He kept waving a mask in my face and telling me he knew it was mine so I had to know what was going on and who she was. He was most irate that I would not reveal her identity, which he kept insisting I must know. I was frightened he was going to slap me.”
“He’s never been known to be physically violent,” James said, trying to calm her. Not that he actually felt that excused Thorton’s actions in any fashion.
“You clearly have not seen Sin’s arm. The bruises left by his fingers are positively black. She’ll be marked for weeks.”
He stood up straighter. “Nobody said she was injured.”
“They are only bruises—just dark ones. She is fine, if more than a little shaken. I think it was the first time that she truly understood what discovery would mean to her. Who knows, it may make her more inclined to your marriage proposal.”
His fury that Thorton had touched her did not abate. “I still cannot believe that either of you would be so stupid.”
“I would advise that you not take that tone with her if you wish to win your case. Women are not prone to marry men who call them stupid—at least not before the wedding.”
“I will take that into consideration. Now, I understand that you will allow me to see her.” He filled his tone with sarcasm at the idea that he was being “allowed” anything.
Jasmine looked at the ceiling, but the roll of her eyes was unmistakable. “I believe I said that she had agreed to see you. I wasn’t sure she would. I think she may be feeling that you are the root of all her problems.”
“I would have thought that was you.” He wished he could take back the words as soon as he said them. His feelings about Jasmine’s chosen profession had not changed, but he was beginning to accept that he was helpless before her determination.
“Do you really wish to cause me offense, my dearest brother?” Her tone dripped with honey.
“Please forgive me. I am still upset by Thorton and took my feelings out on you.”
“Forgiven, but do not let it happen again. I will have Simms show you up.”
“Up? I would have thought we would meet in a parlor.”
“You are less likely to be disturbed in one of the rooms and if voices grow loud less likely to be overheard. Forgive me if I find myself mistrustful of your discretion at the moment.”
He bowed his head, accepting the subtle scolding. He would accept anything that would get him to Sin.
Jasmine smiled, slightly. “I’ve put her in the Arabian room. She found herself in it last night and was strangely fascinated. Also, it has no bed, which will perhaps help you keep your mind where it should be.”
His thoughts filled with lush cushions and exotic perfumes. He hardly thought the lack of a bed would be a hindrance—it never had been in the past. Not that he had anything in mind beyond talking. Still, he could not resist, “The red room has no bed.”
Jasmine shook her head. “You are lucky I know you are not serious. I hardly think a room full of whips and stockades would help your conversation. I am not sure whether Sin would run screaming or want you to explain each device.”
And wasn’t that an entertaining thought. There were several items in that chamber he wouldn’t mind explaining at all. He wondered if she even knew the word dildo. He rather doubted it.
“Get that look off your face. There will be no seduction.”
“I am not sure that is your decision to make.”
“It is my house.”
“And will you be at the peepholes watching us?” He knew exactly how Ruby had assured her girls’ safety and would guess that Jasmine was no different.
To his surprise, a light blush colored Jasmine’s cheeks. “No, I promised Sin that I would stay away. She wants privacy to talk to you—not that I had intended to watch anyway.”
“I am glad to hear it.”
They stared awkwardly at each other for a moment as silence lingered.
“I will have Simms show you up,” Jasmine said at last, although her eyes said there was more she wanted to say. She stood and walked to the door.
He followed a step behind. As she reached for the handle, he said, “I really am sorry, Jazzy. I never wanted things to go this way. I do wish I could change things. I only want for you to be happy. I do care for you.”
Her hand froze on the lever. “I know you do. I think it is why I can only hold so much anger for your actions.” She paused. “And perhaps sometime soon you will come and visit with Hope. She really is a dear.”
“Perhaps. And perhaps you can tell me about Ruby then, too. I still do not believe, but I do want to understand.”
He could not see her face, yet he could feel her small smile.
“Perhaps,” she answered.
Cynthia stood in the middle of the room and looked about. It was exactly as she remembered it from the previous evening, although this time the candle on the center table was lit and the other lamps dimmed, exotic shadows dancing in the corners. The air was filled again with something rich and mysterious, some type of Oriental incense.
Considering that Jasmine had been insistent that they were only meeting here so their discussion would not be disturbed, it was strange that the room was steeped in romance. Her friend was definitely sending very mixed signals.
She walked about the piles of pillows that decorated the floor. Sleep had been hard to come by after the encounter with Thorton last night and in truth she wanted nothing more than to sink down and rest her head. That would, however, put her at a disadvantage when James arrived, something she could not afford to allow.
Butterflies danced in her belly. She’d made a decision in the early hours of the morning, one she knew she must keep, but still nerves filled her.
It might be the only truly possible decision, but did that make it the right one?
Trying to distract herself, she strode over to the two Roman columns and ran a finger down one. It was wood painted to look like marble, but still very strong and firm. She grabbed one of the strange rings and pulled. It didn’t give at all. Stepping back, she tried to imagine their purpose.
Remembering the bed wrapped with silk scarves she’d seen in one of the other bedchambers, she let her imagination roam. Still holding one ring she reached across to the other column. Yes, that would work. It would be easy to bind her wrists and, she glanced down, her ankles, to hold her splayed and captive.
What would that feel like, to be tied here completely at James’s mercy—or lack thereof? Would he torture her—and how? She didn’t imagine actual pain, but she’d learned the pain of need and desire could be equally pressing.
When he’d held her at the brink of orgasm she would have agreed to anything to find release. Was torture the same, the building of pain until one would do anything for it to end? And how much difference was there between pain and pleasure?
Her whole body flushed as these thoughts filled her. James had given her a little pain as he’d pushed her body further and further and it had done nothing but increase her need, her desire. What would it be like to be pushed even further?
Her breasts grew heavy and she could feel dampness at the top of her thighs and an ache began to grow between them. She spread her legs, placed her ankles against the pillars, tried to imagine herself tied and helpless. Would she like it? Her breathing grew faster.
“Now, isn’t that a pretty picture,” James’s voice came from the doorway. The door clicked closed behind him.
She’d been so lost in her thoughts that she had not heard it open.
Raising her head, she stared at him. He wore a simple dark jacket over light breeches. The crisp white of his linen was impeccable. His boots were glossed to a high shine.
Her hands dropped from the rings and with a pretend nonchalance she walked to the center of the room. “I was not expecting you quite yet.”
“I arrived a little early,” he answered.
Polite chitchat.
She looked away, suddenly unsure that she should have agreed to this meeting. “Jasmine said you wished to talk to me.”
“I wouldn’t have thought you needed her to tell you that. Why did you run from my home? What upset you so much?”
Her eyes turned back to him. “As Jasmine has probably told you, I found out you arranged the abduction. I knew that you would never let me leave if you knew how angered I was. You set this all in motion and you were not even honest with me. Why could you simply not tell me?”
He strode to the center of the room and stared at the pillows, but did not sink down to sit. “Do you want the truth?”
“Of course. Why else would I ask?” She moved nearer to him, but stopped several feet away. If she moved closer she would be overwhelmed by his height.
“I did not tell you at first because I did not think it mattered and I thought you worked for Jasmine. The last thing I wanted was for you to go running back to her with such a tale. At that point I was still determined to stop her from pursuing this life.”
“And you have changed now?” That seemed unbelievable to her.
“I will not go that far, but I have accepted that I cannot force her decision. I can do my best to change her mind, to offer her alternatives, but I cannot force her.” He gave a wry laugh. “I think I’ve even agreed to play with the baby. Can you imagine me with a baby? I am not sure I’ve held one in my entire life.”
James with a baby? She could imagine that all too easily. And what of the rest? If he was willing to trust Jasmine to make her own decisions, could he learn to trust her? Was there hope that they could have a real marriage? “That is good. I think once you have held Hope you will begin to understand your sister’s choices a little more.”
“I doubt I will ever understand why she did not marry the father in the beginning.”
Cynthia still wondered that herself, but would never confess so to James. “I think we can only trust her that it was not possible. We will probably never know the truth.” And where had that we come from? Was she suddenly thinking of them as a couple, a team?
James stared at her, his brows drawn together as if trying to determine the secret message of her words. “Probably not,” he answered.
“I am glad that you have reached such a decision. It is good that you recognize her right to decide her own life.”
“My father will not feel the same.”
“I am very aware that he regards her as his property.” She glanced down at her pale hands, twisting in the skirt of a simple white dress. Property? Was she, too, to become property?
“I did not say that.”
She lifted her head again. “You did not have to, and I highly doubt that you came here to discuss your sister. Why don’t you get to what you really wish to say, James.”
His eyes glinted as they stared into hers. Could he see her change of mind?
“First, I am sorry for the way that everything happened, but perhaps not sorry for the results.”
She raised a brow.
He continued, “I am not sorry to have rediscovered you. I know it has not been long, but I truly do feel we would suit for marriage. I remember you as a girl, so big-hearted and kind, and I see that you are still the same person.”
Well, that was positive, but still not truly as much as she wanted. “I could say the same of you. You seem very much the same as you were as a young man, the same faults and the same strengths. Although I cannot imagine the young man ever being willing to admit his fault or to grant that his sister had the right to make her own decisions.”
He smiled. “And I am assuming you consider that strength, not weakness.”
“Yes.”
“Then I will continue. I am deeply sorry that you got caught up in my abduction plans. And even more sorry that I took advantage of you—even if I did so unknowingly.”
“About that—do you mean that it would have been fine if you had taken me in my sleep if I had been one of Madame Blanche’s girls?”
“I was asleep myself when your fabulous ass began to rub against me. Not knowing your innocence, I could only believe that you were initiating contact.”
“And does that happen regularly?” She could not believe she had asked either of these last questions.
He held her gaze. “All I will say is that it has happened.”
She would have to be content with that. “Fine. I will accept that you are sorry that you ravaged me.”
“I don’t think I—”
“I am teasing. I don’t know quite what word to use for what happened between us, but I was not completely blameless. I should have tried to stop you and I did not. You pulled back quickly enough once you realized. And I also know that if I had told you who I was the night before, when I realized you did not know, then nothing would have happened. You would have wrapped me in the blankets on the cot while you sat up all night in the chair.”
“You are probably right. I know I would not have lain next to you. Although, I am not sure that it would have changed where we stand now. I would still have believed it necessary that we marry.”
“I imagine you might have been even less happy about it, however.”
He straightened his shoulders. “I am not unhappy.”
“You keep referring to marriage as something that is necessary or that we have to do. You never say it is something you want to do.”
“Is that what you want? For me to wish to marry you? If so, I can assure you that I do. It has taken me a few days to truly adjust to the idea of marriage, I admit. But now that I have considered it, I can say that I do want to marry you.”
Really? Her heart sped at the thought, but could she trust him? She’d never known him to lie, but he was not above twisting the truth, holding something back. “I find that hard to believe.”
“Why would I not want to marry you? You are beautiful, of good family, you make me laugh, and I have seen the depth of your heart. And you have the best ass I’ve ever seen.”
Heat rose on her cheeks. The man did talk a good story. “I am sure you could find a dozen women who meet those criteria.”
“It’s harder than one would think to find someone who makes you laugh. I’ve certainly never met another woman who would fight me in the freezing mud and not complain afterward. And, to be honest, even without what happened later, it was one of the best times I’ve had in years.”
“It was, wasn’t it?” She hadn’t really thought about it, but it had been bloody good fun. And as for what had happened later…
“And so we are getting to the heart of the matter, although you have still not said how you feel about me.”
I’ve been half in love with you for longer than I can remember. I thought I was over it, but now I fear I never will be. “I have always been fond of you.”
“Such warm praise. I can hardly contain myself.” He did not look at all disturbed.
She didn’t say anything, just continued to stare at him, trying to keep her focus on his eyes, to not let them drop to his lips, to not remember how delicious his kisses were or any of the other things of which that mouth was capable.
He stared back for a moment and then suddenly stepped forward and dropped to one knee like a character in a Shakespearean drama. “Will you do me the honor of becoming by wife, Miss Westhope?”
She’d been dreading this moment. She’d known it was coming, had known it was unavoidable, but still she wished it had not arrived. As long as it lay in the future she could keep hoping for magic, hoping that her girlish dreams would yet come true. “Yes.”
“What?” His eyes grew wide and his mouth opened and closed like a fish blowing bubbles.
It was almost worth it just to see his expression. “Yes, I will marry you.”
“You will?”
She’d never seen him look at such a loss for words. “I don’t really have a choice, do I?” She turned and walked away from him, stopping to run her fingers over one of the colorful draperies. It was embroidered with dragons, bright and beautiful—and free.
“I do not want to force you.” He walked toward her, the sound of his heels giving him away.
“It doesn’t really matter what you want any more than it matters what I do. We must wed. I realized that last night with Lord Thorton. I am sure Jasmine told you about him. I was so frightened. I thought my life as I knew it was finished. When I believed he was going to drag me downstairs and expose me, I could not bear it. I felt that I would rather die than face that.”
Did he look disappointed? “Don’t talk in such a way.”
“Oh, don’t worry. I would have survived. I know that, but I also know that I don’t ever want to face that fear again. And so I must wed you.”