Piper

After sitting at the table for nearly an hour over a cup of coffee, a pancake, and some bacon, we are finally finished with our cards to Monty.

I’m certain Stanley purposely slept in so he wouldn’t have make one. He watched us all when he finally made his morning debut, annoyed that we’d actually done it. I want to wish Monty a good Christmas, especially if I can’t see him in person anytime soon.

I’m guessing Stanley couldn’t convince the clinic of letting Monty go, which is another reason he seems slightly irritable. Sad that not even phone calls are allowed. What kind of place did my parents put him in?

After Mom collects the cards, stuffing them in her tote bag to ship in the mail, we run to the store for small things like cinnamon, vanilla extract, milk, and sugar cookies.

As we stroll the aisles, Mom, Bailey, and Lena chatting away about their lives and Bailey bragging about her big holiday bonus at her job on Wall Street, my mind is centered on one thing.

Matthew Cooper.

He’s better in bed than I imagined but now I feel like a fool. After Doug, my occasional dose of dick, told me I wasn’t wife material, I try to avoid getting too attached to anyone.

He made it clear that because I work so much, and spend my free time thrift shopping, that I’m not capable of anything serious.

So, because I have a passion for something in life, I’m not meant to be married? My belief is that Doug is intimidated by my independence. And the truth is, sometimes I am too.

I’m afraid of it because I’m so good at being alone. I don’t mind going to the movies by myself with a large bucket of popcorn and a frozen cherry-flavored drink.

I don’t mind going into work early and then leaving later than everyone else to finish a project that won’t be due for weeks.

I don’t mind watching Netflix alone or making margaritas at home and singing so loudly the neighbors can hear me.

I don’t. I really don’t because I love my apartment. I love my job. I love my clothes. I love binging on coffee and donuts in the mornings and then getting on my elliptical to burn the calories right off during my lunch break or at night. I love doing what I want.

To put it simply, I love my life and who I am, and I wouldn’t trade it for a single damn thing in this world.

I can’t help but think what if?

What if Matthew and I actually took this past the weekend? What if he became my occasional fling instead of stupid Doug?

I’m too afraid to think of that. What if it got serious? What if we wanted more later on? It would never work because his job would be a huge issue for me, and I work so much he’d hardly get to see me. It’s not that I’m afraid of commitment. It’s just that commitment and I don’t make the best of friends.

I depart from my sisters and Mom, going down the book aisle to browse. I spot a comic book bundle for The Walking Dead and smile when I remember Matthew saying how much he loved the series and wanted it as a hard copy.

I pick it up without checking the price. I know I’m paying him and all, but if we’re going to play the part I have to make sure he has a gift tomorrow, right?

I take the collection along with me, running into Mom by the dairy section. “What you got there, sweetie?” she asks, looking down at the books.

“Oh, they’re for Matthew.”

“Matthew? Really? He likes comic books?”

“Loves them,” I say with moderate exaggeration.

“I didn’t expect a guy like him to like comic books.” Her response is snarky. Apparently reading comic books during downtime is not a suitable pursuit.

I don’t respond to her, and when the twins and Lena round the corner with boxes of sugary cereal in hand, I’m glad.

“Oh, look at my babies,” Mom coos as Jana and Joey rush for her, shouting “Nana look!” repeatedly. Lena looks at me and sighs. I give her a knowing look, smiling sweetly.

Someone bumps into my right shoulder and when I look up, I meet Bailey’s green eyes. “So, baby sister! You and Matthew, huh? How long do you think this will last?”

“I don’t have a timer on it, Bailey,” I mutter, rolling my eyes.

“Hey!” She throws her hands in the air, giving a not-guilty stance. “I’m just asking a question. He’s such a good guy and we all know how you tend to run the good ones out of your life.”

I turn to face her. “Oh yeah? And what about you, Bailey?” I fold my arms, cocking a brow. “I don’t see you bringing home Mr. Right.”

“That’s because I’m enjoying my life and taking care of myself.”

I scoff. “Yeah, okay. I’m pretty sure you don’t even believe that.”

“Oh, girls, come on,” Mom says, looking between us. “It’s the holidays. Let’s not be catty.”

“We aren’t.” I shrug. “Bailey and I are just kidding. We do this all the time, Mom.” I look into Bailey’s eyes as I speak, and she narrows hers. We’re totally not kidding. I’ve always felt like Bailey is envious of me—like she loves me but can’t stand me all the same.

“Whatever,” Bailey mumbles, turning and picking up a can of whipped cream. Funny. You’d think she was the baby sister with how petty she acts.

“So, editing is going good?” Lena asks me, stepping forward as she drops a box of oatmeal in the cart.

“Editing is great,” I respond. “Never better.”

“Have you met anyone famous?” she inquires, smiling.

“Not yet…but there is supposed to be this new singer coming to take pictures with our advertisement department. I might sneak in and check it out.”

“Who cares?” Bailey mutters.

“Bailey, could you chill out?” Lena snaps, looking her hard in the eyes. “For one year, can you act like you care about your sister and what she’s doing with her life?”

Bailey throws her arms in the air. “What?! No one cares about her job as an editor! It’s just words. It not serious!”

“Just because you don’t care doesn’t mean we don’t,” Mom butts in.

Everyone stares at Bailey, the twins included.

“God, what is your deal?” Lena asks with a slight hiss. “You’ve been bitchier than usual lately and I didn’t even think that was possible.”

“Bailey, sweetie are you okay?” Mom asks.

“You have been acting bitchier than usual,” I add in.

“You really have, even to Mom and Dad,” Lena agrees.

“I have to agree with them, sweetie. It seems like something’s wrong. Is something wrong? Did you and Tony breakup?” Mom whispers the last question.

“Mom!” Bailey exclaims.

“What!? I’m only asking!”

“Wait…you were dating someone?” I ask, brows dipped. “How the hell didn’t I know this?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Bailey grumbles.

“Ohhh! Now it all makes sense. It is Tony,” Lena fills in. “You’re upset he bailed for the holidays.”

“He didn’t bail on me,” she snaps at Lena.

“So then what is it?” Mom asks.

“I seriously cannot deal with this right now.” Bailey turns her back to us and rushes away, storming down one of the aisles in her stilettos. We all look at one another, confused as hell. But before we can push the cart to follow after her, she’s back with a box in her hand.

We all gasp as she waves it in the air. “This is why he’s not here. Because I told him I wasn’t ready to tell you guys yet but all he wanted to do was brag about it.”

“Oh, my goodness! Bailey, sweetie! Why didn’t you say anything to me?” Mom rushes forward, lowering the pregnancy test that’s in her hand and then cupping her face. “No wonder you’ve been so moody—and so sleepy. You went to bed so early last night. You’re usually the last one to fall asleep.”

“Actually, last night I was just really tired of dealing with you guys,” she jokes.

Lena and I laugh and Mom playfully smacks her shoulder. “Oh, honey! But this is exciting news! Why wouldn’t you bring Tony to celebrate this blessing?”

“Because…Tony and I aren’t married and I was afraid of how Dad would react more than anything. You know how he is about having kids before marriage.”

“Oh, to hell with what your father thinks,” Mom says, frowning. “He doesn’t control your body. He can talk all he wants but it changes nothing. Being pregnant and having baby is a special, special blessing that not many women can have. You may as well start cheering up about it because we’re telling him as soon as we get home.”

Bailey whips her head up to look Mom in the eye. “As soon as? Why? Why can’t we just wait until like the very last minute of the very last day, right before we all go our separate ways?”

Mom steps back, laughing. “Don’t worry.” She waves a hand. “We’ll get a few drinks in him and then we’ll tell him. So more like as soon as he’s a little tipsy,” she amends.

Lena shakes her head. “Well, now I don’t feel so bad about not getting people gifts this year,” she says.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“We get a niece, Mom and Dad get another grand, and Bailey gets a baby soon! That’s a gift for everyone.”

I snort. “You are seriously the worst, Lena.”

“Hey. I have two kids to worry about. We’re all adults here. Besides, it’s not about the presents. It’s about spending time with family and enjoying the small things.”

I look down at the comic book collection. “Sometimes,” I murmur. “But even the smallest gifts count.”

Lena looks at me, her eyes gentle. Maybe she really is turning over a new leaf. Compared to last year, she’s been quieter, a little more reserved. She seems more relaxed and accepting.

“Guess what?” Lena whispers as Mom carries on a conversation about baby names with Bailey, who constantly rolls her eyes.

“What?” I ask.

“Dexter called as soon as my head hit the pillow last night.” She grins like a love-stricken maniac.

I gasp. “Really? See, I knew he would!”

“It was so great to hear his voice,” she sighs. “And I woke the twins up so they could talk to him. Of course they were half asleep, but as soon as they heard their Daddy’s voice, they perked right up. Jana cried because he couldn’t be here, which made me cry too, of course.” She glances at Jana and Joey, and I look over, watching them argue over a board game. “But all in all, it was the greatest gift I could ask for.”

“That’s great, Lena. I’m so happy for you.”

“And I’m happy for you, Piper. I really am. I think with Matthew by your side, you living out your dreams, and staying consistent, that you’ll make it as far as you want to go. You’re still so young. You have so much ahead of you.”

“Yeah,” I sigh. “Thanks. I’m glad you think so.”

Too bad it can’t happen. Soon, Matthew won’t be by my side, so it’s like her words are meaningless, though if this were real, it would have packed a punch.