CHAPTER 24
My feet pound the asphalt as I head into the chilly night. It’s after eleven, and there aren’t many people out. There’s a high chance of rain, and it’s colder than it has been all October, which means everyone’s preparing to hibernate for the oncoming winter.
I dart down foggy roads, across quiet intersections, and sprint through damp alleys, determined to run past my house. Now that it’s within my grasp, I need to see it for motivation to stay the course. Tonight my visit is quick, enough time to take a mental snapshot and move on.
The hum of the city falls away when I enter Lincoln Park. It’s replaced with trees filled with dry leaves tinkling like glass. I burrow into my heavy shirt and shiver as a new sound emerges. Footsteps matching mine, strike for strike. I glance in the direction of the sound, finding a silhouette running far behind me. My cowardly heart hammers in my chest, even though I know it’s nothing to be concerned with. But still, I lower my head, dig in, and extend my stride, arms pumping at my sides until crisp air stabs my lungs.
I sprint beyond the park, returning to the main street in search of activity. I have a sense of relief when I reach a well-lit area. Signs of life appear in the form of a city bus streaming past, a red blinking stoplight, and several bundled dog walkers. I slow my pace but jolt two steps left when a person appears at my side like a ghost. Anxiety bobs in my throat, but it flips to anger when I see who it is.
“How was your business date?” Evan asks. A dark hoodie conceals his face, but I’d recognize his deep voice anywhere.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“You shouldn’t be running at night by yourself.”
“And you shouldn’t be stalking me.”
I take off when the light changes at a busy intersection, leaving him behind, but Evan doesn’t get the picture. He’s at my side, mimicking my stride. So I run faster to drop him, but he runs faster to catch me. The entire process is infuriating, and our run escalates into a race.
My blood boils as if fueled by my moment. My legs strain under the pressure and muscles blaze with fire. My breathing tightens, but I ignore it all. I’ll be damned if he’s going to best me, especially after what he said earlier tonight.
The sky opens and the clouds above spit rain. It flips to a deluge, drenching us both. I have to squint my eyes to see. It’s another layer I must break through to win. We turn onto our street and the apartment building appears, illuminated in bright floodlights behind a curtain of rain. I bite my lip and pump my arms until they feel like they’ll break free.
“Are you dating that guy?” he gnashes.
“I told you. He’s a client.” I’m growing more irritated by the second.
We reach the stoop at the same time, both requiring several steps to slow. Evan hooks a hand on my upper arm and swings me into his chest. His free hand slides behind my nape, and my traitor mouth collides with his. Our lips touch. Finally. After all this time. I don’t expect it, but I feel sheer relief when his body presses against mine. My hands fist into his soaked shirt, tugging him closer. The emotions I’ve been fighting to control release, frantic and burning. I don’t want to want him, but I do. All my body does, from my curling toes to the tips of my fingers sliding through his wet hair.
My mind protests. It’s begging me to protect myself. When he coaxes my mouth open and sweeps his searing hot tongue across mine, my frustration fades. How can I stop when I’m so love-starved? And when we’re entangled, I’m spellbound by his touch.
He lifts me. My legs wrap round his hips, and he pins me against the wall of our building. He presses into me, his hardness thrusts between my legs, connecting with my spot. Even with clothing between us, I grind into him, recalling how he filled me. A haze of ecstasy blooms behind my eyes as I clench him close and nibble on his ear, making him moan.
“Jesus, Cait.” His voice is husky and eyelids heavy. His dark lashes stick together in thick points, like dripping starfish. Water rivulets stream down face in gather between his swollen lips. I lean in to suck the pooling salty water between them. He responds by tugging my lip with his teeth. Greedy for a repeat of our one night, my hands slide under his shirt and trace the muscular ridges of back.
A car drives past. Its headlights blind me, and I have a flash of brief sanity. I remember why I swore him off to begin with. My whispers fight to wrestle their way to the forefront of my mind. This is a bad idea. If I’m with Evan, I’ll have to let him in, but it’s about more than that.
I release him from my grip and unhook my legs. I slide away until my feet are planted on the ground. I press my hand into his chest, holding him at arm’s length.
“What?” His shoulders rise and fall with his ragged breath. His eyes are glazed with desire. He presses forward, but I hold him firmly in place.
“I can’t.” Each time a raindrop hits my eyes, I blink and the veil of lust slips away.
“You could have fooled me.” With a grin he stares at my wet top. It’s clear from my hardened nipples I’m turned on. He reaches for me again, unwilling to relent, and I grab both his hands, stopping them. This time he retracts like I’ve slapped him again.
I turn away to rally myself. He watches, waiting. Ignoring the rain, I focus on forming a coherent sentence, or anything that will makes sense. My anger builds again at recalling everything that’s happened. It’s the only thing that will get me through this.
“You disappear right after we sleep together and all of the sudden you want me again because you’re jealous of James? A client? What the fuck, Evan? Is this a game to you?”
“If you weren’t trying to make me jealous, why did you bring him home? And what about the red suit? The no panties? And breaking your own shower? Who’s playing games now?” His voice rises to meet mine.
“I did not break my own shower!” I stomp my foot. “Everything I do isn’t about you. And you believing it is, is exactly why you’re an asshole.”
He doesn’t respond. He doesn’t even bother to defend himself. He glances away as though he can see something between us I can’t. I wish I could see it too, because under the glow of the floodlight he’s achingly gorgeous, but right now I hate him for making me want him. I hate him more for making me give him up a second time.
My arms flap in the rain with frustration and I continue, spilling more secrets than I intend. “You know, you were right from the beginning. Somehow you know me better than I know myself. The truth is I can’t handle one night with you, because I’ve been dreaming about you nonstop. If we do this again, it’ll wreck me, and that’s exactly why I’m done.”