RODRIGO LOOKED DOWN at Lola as she cried out with pleasure, her face incandescent with joy. He gripped her shoulders, barely keeping himself from exploding into her.
He’d thought he could keep his distance, to make this about their bodies, only about sex. He was wrong. It wasn’t just her body.
It was her face. Her voice. It was her.
Lola.
The only one he’d wanted. The one he’d dreamed about for the last year, in hot, unwilling dreams. Every morning, he’d woken up, still aching for her.
Now, at last, she was his. Forever.
And you’re mine, she’d said.
Her claim washed through his soul. He trembled. He gloried in his possession of her.
But he could not surrender in his turn. Could not give himself fully. Not to Lola, or any woman.
But his hands were shaking as he gripped her. When he saw her burst with pleasure, a rush went through his body, through his soul, with a pounding roar.
Cupping her face in his hands, he said urgently, “You’re mine forever. You’ll never betray me. Say it.”
“I’ll never betray you,” she said breathlessly, her beautiful face rosy with passion, her half-lidded eyes bright with ecstasy. And he believed her.
Lowering his lips against hers, he felt a searing joy—almost like pain—as his heart cracked inside him, like steel in sparks of flame. He wanted to trust her. He wanted to. She was his wife now. His—
And in that moment, for the first time in his life, Rodrigo lost control.
Gripping her hips, he gave in to the pleasure punching through him with violent force, knocking out his breath. A low growl built into a roar as he shattered, shuddering as he poured himself inside her.
And he collapsed.
When Rodrigo finally came back to awareness, it could have been minutes or hours later. He found himself tenderly holding her body against his own. Their bodies were intertwined, and he saw the warm, fading glow of twilight.
As he held Lola in his arms, joy went through him. It was as if the last miserable year had just been a bad dream.
Then he saw the motes of dust moving lazily in the light, like flickers of gold floating softly to the floor. And he remembered—everything.
Remembered why he could never trust any woman.
Especially now. They were married. They had a child. There was too much at stake.
He couldn’t let down his guard. Because every time he did...
Pain cut through him, even more overwhelming than the pleasure had been. Suddenly shaking, he withdrew his hands from where they’d rested so cozily, so tenderly, on her body.
Rodrigo had thought he could have sex with a cold heart. But the joke was on him. He’d thought he could take her like a conqueror. Instead, after a year of mutual hunger, she’d matched his fire, and they’d burned together like a phoenix rising to the sun. It hadn’t just been physical, but almost holy.
Far from conquering her, he’d wanted to give her—everything.
Slowly getting out of bed, he silently backed away. But as he picked up his trousers and boxers from the tile floor, he heard her lilting, husky voice.
“Where are you going now?”
His spine snapped straight. He turned to face her.
“Out. I’m going out.”
Frowning at his tone, she slowly sat up in bed. “Where?”
His gaze traced unwillingly on her soft skin, the smooth curves of her body now a soft pink in the fading sunlight. He kept his face expressionless, careful to give nothing away. He’d learned, while building his media empire, that any emotional weakness only invited destruction.
But he hadn’t just learned it in business. He’d learned it long before. From every single woman he’d known.
He said shortly, “Where I go is none of your concern.”
Her lips twisted. “Of course it is. I’m your wife.”
“I have business.”
“Where?”
He thought fast. “South America.”
“What?” Lola sat up straight, her expression incredulous. “You can’t be serious. You just dragged me to California!”
“My business cannot wait,” he said, but the truth was, he couldn’t wait. To be as far away from her as possible.
“We’ll come with you, then.” She lifted her chin. “You married me so we could be a family. So you could help raise our son. Our place is at your side.”
He had said that, Rodrigo realized. Did she see what had changed? Could she see the sudden weakness in his soul? Ice filled his heart.
“Your place is where I say it is,” he said harshly. “I won’t have you dragging Jett around the world for no reason.”
She drew her knees up against her chest. She looked suddenly young and forlorn. “Then why did you bring us here? Just to leave us?”
Rodrigo stared down at her, his heart pounding. But he couldn’t let himself bend. If he did, he might break. Making love to her had left him strangely vulnerable. The walls around his soul, normally impregnable, felt as brittle as untempered steel.
“I will return soon. In the meantime, Mrs. Lee can help with the baby. Tobias and Lester will guard the door and drive you anywhere you require.”
“Don’t go,” she whispered, her hazel eyes luminous.
“You’ll be fine.” Looking into her beautiful face, all shadows and rosy light, Rodrigo came closer. He lowered his head to briefly kiss her lips. She was soft and warm in his arms. He felt his body start to respond.
Ripping away, he choked out, “I’ll leave my credit cards. My checkbook. Buy anything you desire.”
And he left, without looking back.
* * *
Lola didn’t expect to miss him, but she did.
Over the next week, she tried to distract herself from his absence by busily settling in to the beach house and caring for their baby. She bought new clothes for both her and Jett, suitable for the warm California weather and sunny days on the beach or by the pool. She found a new pediatrician, and a wonderful baby boutique in Santa Monica. Rodrigo had told her to use his credit cards, so she’d done her best.
But her heart wasn’t in it. Shopping felt lonely. Strange, since she was never alone. Rodrigo’s bodyguards, Tobias and Lester, insisted on driving Lola wherever she needed to go, and accompanied her and the baby whenever they left the compound. Even back at the beach house, kindly, warm Mrs. Lee was there all day, keeping the house in order and puttering in the kitchen, always offering to help or chat.
But Lola wasn’t feeling chatty. The enormous, luxurious beach house had lost its shine. She felt Rodrigo’s absence every day.
And every night.
Lola wasn’t a romantic like her friend Tess. She had no dreams of hearts and flowers. But having her husband disappear after one day of marriage was beneath even her low expectations.
The big diamond ring weighed heavily on her left hand. Whenever she looked at it, it seemed to glitter back at her hollowly.
What kind of stupid marriage was this?
Lola tried to tell herself she didn’t care. After all, she wasn’t the one who’d demanded marriage. She and Jett had done fine without Rodrigo before. They could again.
She just wished if he’d changed his mind about their marriage that fast, he would tell her, so she and Jett could go back to New York, where they belonged. Where she had friends, people who would at least answer when she called!
Rodrigo only ignored her. Just that morning, Lola had gotten the thrilling news that she’d passed her GED, forwarded to California from her address in New York. Rodrigo had been the first one she’d wanted to tell. After all, he’d encouraged her, telling her she should have gone to college or even law school. Almost bouncing with excitement, she’d dialed his number.
But he didn’t pick up his phone. Even after she called him multiple times. Finally, disconsolately, she texted him the news. He hadn’t responded to that either.
Of course he hadn’t. He’d given her the silent treatment all week, ignoring her calls, and even simple messages like her asking where things were in the house or if he’d already arranged a doctor for the baby. Even the message she’d sent him yesterday, informing him of the six-figure gift she planned for her baby sisters, had gotten no answer.
It was enough to make her hate this beautiful beach house, where they’d once been so happy. And yearn to be somewhere else. Anywhere. But especially New York.
Wrapping her arms around herself, drawing her cashmere cardigan closer, Lola looked out the wall of windows overlooking the pool and, beyond that, the ocean and sky.
The sun was golden and warm, just like it had been the day Rodrigo brought her back here as his bride. He’d looked at her with so much emotion in his dark eyes before he’d kissed her. He’d made love to her with such fire and heat, such explosive pleasure, even more spectacular than she’d felt during their affair. She’d looked up into his handsome face as his body covered hers, and for one moment, she’d imagined their marriage could be about more than duty.
But obviously, she’d thought wrong. Because when Rodrigo had gotten up from the bed, he’d looked at her as if he hated the sight of her. And ever since, he’d ignored her, as if she were Typhoid Mary and he was afraid he might contract her disease from wherever he was in South America. If he really was in South America.
What had she done, to make him suddenly want to not only leave the bed but leave the continent?
Tess and Hallie would know, she thought suddenly. Hallie was always so sensible and practical, while Tess was idealistic with those rose-colored glasses. Missing them, she felt a lump in her throat. She’d sent them messages about her GED, and unlike her husband they’d immediately called, to cheer for her.
“Lola, you’re so sneaky!” Hallie had said. “You never even told us you dropped out of high school when you were a kid!”
“You should have told us you were working for your GED,” Tess chided. “I could have baked you cookies to help you study!”
Lola smiled now, thinking about them. Then her smile faded. What would Tess and Hallie say when they learned she’d left New York without telling them, and now lived in California? What would they say when they learned the identity of Jett’s father, and that Lola had married him without inviting them to the wedding?
She should have told them, when they were congratulating her for passing her GED. She’d tried to. But the words had stuck in her throat. She wasn’t like her friends, wanting to talk and talk about their unsolved problems.
Lola solved her own problems. Then she’d talk about them.
And the problem of her marriage felt very much unsolved. How could she explain why she’d married Rodrigo and moved to California at his demand, only for him to promptly dump her and Jett here and disappear?
Suddenly, Lola narrowed her eyes. She’d tried to be patient. But she’d had enough of waiting and wondering.
Any action was better than this.
He’d told her to spend his money? Fine. She would.
Going into Rodrigo’s home office, she found his checkbook and wrote out a six-figure check, which she signed with a flourish. Anger made her fearless. Getting an envelope and paper, she wrote a letter to her sisters, the first time she’d written them in seven years.
Seven. She’d never meant to fall out of her sisters’ lives so completely. But the days had passed so fast. Already, Johanna was twelve, and Kelsey was fifteen. Fifteen. The same age Lola had been when her mother died. When she’d decided to make it her life’s mission to save her family.
She’d failed then. But maybe, if her little sisters knew how hard she’d tried, they would forgive her. And this check couldn’t hurt, either.
With a deep breath, Lola signed the letter and tucked it into the envelope with the check. Sealing it, she wrote the address she’d long ago memorized by heart.
Her hand shook as she left the home office. Collecting Jett from his playpen in the sunny main room, where he’d been happily chewing on toys, she felt so elated at what she’d done, she sang him a song she used to sing to her sisters. The baby giggled and cooed as she danced with him, pausing to look out through the windows at the bright blue ocean and sky.
Then she stopped. What if it didn’t work? What if her sisters ignored her, just like Rodrigo?
Squaring her shoulders, Lola forced herself to go into the enormous, gleaming kitchen, where she found the housekeeper taking bread out of the oven. It smelled delicious.
“I made your favorite, Mrs. Cabrera,” Mrs. Lee said, smiling. “I know how much you love it.”
“You’re too good to me. I was, um, wondering...” Lola nervously held up the envelope. “Is there any way you could take this to the post office? I’d do it myself but...” But I’m scared I’ll chicken out.
“I’d be happy to.” Wiping her hands on her apron, the older woman took the envelope with a smile. “I have a bunch of errands to run this morning anyway. Shall I do it now?”
“Yes, please, if you don’t mind. And please get a tracking number and receipt.”
“Oh, my.” Mrs. Lee tilted her head. “It sounds important.”
“It is. It’s a present. For my...my sisters.” Lola’s heart was beating fast. She knew the girls were happy in their adoptive family. She’d long ago given up thoughts of custody. All she wanted now was for her sisters to remember her. And maybe, if she was very lucky, to forgive her. “Thank you, Mrs. Lee.”
After the housekeeper was gone, Lola changed into a modest swimsuit and cover-up, put a swimsuit on the baby and slathered him with sunscreen, and put hats on them both to block out the hot California sun. Carrying Jett with one arm, and a large wicker basket full of toys with the other, she struggled out onto the white sand. Stretching out a beach blanket, she set up her baby comfortably, then sat down beside him.
With a deep breath, Lola stared out at the wide blue ocean stretching out to the west, all the way to Hawaii and Japan. She wanted to call back Mrs. Lee, and tell her not to send the letter. She felt scared and alone. Would her sisters ever forgive her?
But as she reached for her phone to call back Mrs. Lee, she heard Rodrigo’s firm words.
You know how to argue people into things. When you’re ready to see your sisters, you’ll figure out how.
With a deep breath, she put down her phone. She’d try to be strong.
She wondered where Rodrigo was at this moment.
Staring out at the horizon, she saw something out of the corner of her eye. Turning, she saw a man coming toward her on the beach. For a moment, she thought it was Rodrigo. But it was a stranger. It was so unexpected, she sat up straight on the beach blanket, blinking in surprise.
A stranger? On this beach?
All of California’s beaches were public, at least in theory, but this beach was virtually private, as it was on an isolated inlet surrounded by cliffs to the north and south.
The man looked like a surfer, wearing board shorts, flip-flops and an unbuttoned shirt that showed off his hard-muscled chest. He had blond hair, a deep tan and a toothy smile.
“Hello,” she said, frowning.
“Hello,” he said, smiling down at her. “Are you all alone? You’re too beautiful to be lonely. Would you like some company? You and your charming baby?”
Lola’s mouth dropped. Was this stranger hitting on her?
She wasn’t wearing a bikini but a modest cover-up. But he was looking at her as if he were a cat and she was a fish. For the first time, she wished the bodyguards were around.
“No, thanks.” Picking up Jett from the blanket, she quickly packed up her things in the wicker basket. “I was just leaving.”
“You were?” he said, his tanned face disappointed.
“Sorry.” Straightening her big sun hat, she carried the baby and wicker basket back to the house, walking swiftly. Once she reached the safety of the terrace, she turned to look back. The beach was empty. The stranger was gone.
Of course he was. Lola exhaled. Obviously, she’d been alone in this house too long, to get so weirded out just by someone being friendly. Or maybe she’d finally become a true New Yorker. Strangers talking to her made her suspicious and alarmed.
But still, she couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling.
Inside the beach house, she went to find the bodyguards. Lester was nowhere to be found, but she discovered Tobias pacing angrily in the courtyard, speaking into his cell phone.
“Chelsea, what are you talking about?” He gripped his phone. “You know I’m supposed to have him. This is the third time you’ve brushed me off.” He listened, then an expletive escaped his lips. “That’s a lie and you know it. He doesn’t have homework. He’s five! I deserve to see my son. And he deserves it, too. I pay child support. I’ve tried to be patient, but we both know the real reason...”
Tobias saw Lola, and his face went pale. “I have to call you back,” he said, then scowled, “No, Chelsea, tonight. And if you even think you...”
Coming forward, Lola calmly plucked the phone out of his hand. “Hello, this is Mrs. Cabrera. Tobias’s employer.”
“So?” the woman’s voice was sour, ready for battle. Good, because that was exactly Lola’s mood.
“If you don’t let him see his son, which is apparently his legal right, we’re going to have to either let him go, which means you’ll be getting no more child support, or else we’ll consider sending a full team of LA’s best lawyers to ask the judge to reopen the case and pursue full custody on his behalf.”
“What do you care?” the woman bit out.
“I don’t,” Lola said coolly. “But he’s supposed to be protecting us, and it’s obvious he can’t do that when he’s so distressed. Why won’t you allow him to see his son?”
“None of your business!”
“But it is, as I just explained. So what’s it to be? No more money? Or back to court?”
Silence fell on the other end.
“My new boyfriend doesn’t like Tobias coming around.”
“I understand,” Lola said, relaxing. “But your son is the most important thing. Right? And your son needs his father. Doesn’t he?”
There was a grudging sigh. “Yes,” the woman said finally. She paused. “Fine. I’ll deal with my boyfriend. Mason misses his father, too. He’s been complaining about it. Put Tobias back on.”
Lola handed the phone to Tobias. “Here.”
Satisfaction flashed through her as she headed back into the house, carrying her baby on her hip. At least she hadn’t lost all her skills. After unpacking her beach bag, she gave Jett a bath to wash off all the sunscreen. She toweled him off, changed him into fresh clothes and then held him close, relishing the clean baby smell.
Afterward, she carried him back toward the kitchen, intending to make herself a comforting cup of tea. Tobias was waiting for her in the great room.
“I get to see my son tonight after work,” he said. “My ex is even going to give me extra time, to make up for the days I missed.” He shook his head. “How did you talk her into it?”
She shrugged. “It wasn’t hard.”
“I guess the real question,” he said slowly, “is why did you get involved?”
“As I said, I wanted your full attention—”
“Mrs. Cabrera.” Shaking his head, he gave her a grin. “How dumb do you think I am?”
She stared at him, unblinking. Then she said slowly, “My father died when I was five, the same age as your son. I have almost no memories of him.” She looked away. “I hate it when families are separated.”
“I see,” Tobias said quietly. He paused. “Was there some reason you came looking for me earlier?”
Sitting here, in this elegant, luxurious beach house, her earlier fears about the stranger on the beach seemed paranoid. “I just wondered if you’d heard from my husband since he left. Because...because I haven’t. He hasn’t answered any of my calls.” At his astonished expression, she said quickly, “I just want to know Rodrigo is okay.”
Tobias stared at her, then held out his phone. “Try calling him with this.”
Lola’s eyes went wide. She looked up at him. “Are you sure?”
He shrugged.
“He might fire you,” she said.
“He can try.” Tobias gave a crooked grin. “But I’m backing you, Mrs. Cabrera.”
“Thank you,” she whispered.
He turned away. Lola stared down at the bodyguard’s phone in her hand. Slowly, she typed in Rodrigo’s name. His number came up.
Taking a deep breath, she hit the dial button.
* * *
An hour after Rodrigo’s private jet landed in Los Angeles, he walked into his office building downtown, feeling exhausted in a way that had nothing to do with his hectic business travel to his bustling film studio in Mexico City or his newly acquired television network in Buenos Aires.
For the last week, he’d barely slept. Even when he had, peace had evaded him. And he knew why.
Because of her.
He’d taken Lola as his wife. Taken her to his bed. He now had her securely under his control, and at a distance. He hadn’t answered any of her messages or calls. He got reports on her welfare, and that of his son, from his bodyguards. He’d thought that would create the emotional distance he needed.
So why did Rodrigo still feel so vulnerable?
Why did he dream of Lola every night, in sensual dreams that were even worse than before?
Why did he wake up gasping for her like a suffocating man struggling desperately for breath?
He didn’t have control of her, damn it. He didn’t even have control of himself. It was why he’d left. Why he hadn’t wanted to let himself be near her. Why he couldn’t bear to look at her or hear her voice.
Lola made him want. She made him feel.
And feeling anything for a woman always led to loss. Women were liars. Deceivers. They couldn’t be trusted, except to cause pain.
Keeping his distance was the only way this marriage would work. The only way to give his child a stable family and home.
But even being thousands of miles away hadn’t created the distance he’d wanted. He had to find another solution. Because Lola was right. He hadn’t dragged her to the altar just to abandon her and neglect his child.
Being away from his tiny son for a week had been intolerable. And Rodrigo knew Lola. She wouldn’t put up with this silent treatment forever. Honestly, he was surprised she hadn’t already tried to revolt.
Setting his jaw, he strode into his private office and tossed his briefcase carelessly on his gleaming dark wood desk. Turning, he looked out the windows overlooking the skyscrapers and haze of downtown Los Angeles.
Sleeping with Lola hadn’t gotten her out of his system. For the last week, as he’d made deals, the image of her soft and rosy in bed, the memory of her body against his own, had fogged his brain in a hum of desire. He wanted her. In bed. On his desk. Against the wall. He wanted to possess her until they were both utterly satiated, however long that took. Even if it took forever.
But how could he make love to her, without being tempted to care?
“You’re back!” Turning, he saw his executive assistant, Marnie McAdam, standing in the doorway. “Here are your messages, Mr. Cabrera.” Setting down a small pile on his desk, she cleared her throat. “The International Studio Guild wants to know if you’re bringing your wife to Madrid.”
Rodrigo had the sudden vision of appearing with Lola on his arm, in all her rapturous beauty, when he accepted the award in Madrid next week for CEO of the Year. He’d be envied for his wife, even more than the prestigious award. And afterward, he’d take her to his bed and...
He shivered inside.
“I haven’t thought about it,” he said shortly.
“You need a date. It’s a social event.” Marnie tilted her head, looking at him owlishly through her glasses. “If she can’t come, I could do it. Not as a date or anything,” she added hastily, “but, you know, just to help out.”
Rodrigo frowned at his assistant. Bring her to the ceremony? What was Marnie talking about?
Then he saw her pale, determined expression and relaxed. Marnie wasn’t flirting with him, gracias a Dios. She was merely trying to solve a logistical problem on his behalf, like any good secretary would. “Thank you,” he said smoothly, “but such a sacrifice on your part won’t be necessary.”
“It would be no problem, truly—”
“I know you don’t care to travel. I’ll deal with it.”
Yes, by bringing Lola to Madrid, his body suggested slyly.
Perhaps he was taking it all too seriously, Rodrigo thought suddenly. Perhaps the emotional reaction he’d had last week had been a one-time thing, caused by his year of wanting her.
He blinked.
Sí, it was possible. In which case, the only way to prevent it from happening again was to take Lola to bed and binge on her until he was cured, like someone who, after drinking whiskey until he’s sick, can never bear to taste it again.
Yes. The more that he thought of this—
His phone rang from his pocket. Looking down, he saw the call was from one of his bodyguards, Tobias.
“That’ll be all for now, Marnie.” He nodded at her. As she closed the door behind her, he answered his phone. “Is my wife becoming a problem?”
“I’m your problem now.”
Her low voice made electricity skitter through his body, even as his spine snapped straight.
“Lola.” He breathed deeply. “How did you get this phone?”
“I had no choice, did I? You’re clearly not interested in taking my calls.”
Rodrigo exhaled, and kept his voice a cold, deliberate drawl. “I’ve been traveling for business—”
“When I married you, Rodrigo, I meant it to be forever. But forever’s not going to be like this.”
And the phone went dead in his hands.