Rachel

 

I watched with barely-concealed eagerness as Ren sat up on the side of the bed.  The muscles in his back flexed as he took off his socks and I wanted to touch his warm, hard skin. 

So, touch him then.

I sat up and ran my fingers down his spine.  He made a low groan and I moved to my knees behind him and pressed my breasts against his back before kissing his shoulder.  I licked my way to his neck and nipped his rough skin as I slid my arms around him and rubbed his flat abdomen. 

I sucked on his earlobe and ran my hands up to his broad chest, touching the coarse hair that covered it.  My long hair was everywhere, brushing against his body and getting in my face.  I reached for the hair elastic that sat on my nightstand, but Ren took my hand and shook his head.

“No.  Keep your hair down for me.”

He reached up and took a lock of my hair, rubbing it through his fingers.  “It’s so soft, so beautiful.”

“Thank you,” I whispered.  I ran my right hand down toward the waistband of his jeans but when I tried to cup his dick through the denim, he caught my hand again and pulled it away.

“I’m sorry.”  Dull embarrassment coated my apology.

“Don’t be sorry.  If you touch me, I’m gonna explode all over your hand.”

I giggled a bit nervously and he squeezed my hand before standing.  He turned and shook his head when I went to cover my naked breasts.  “No, sweetheart.  Don’t be shy.  You’re beautiful.”

I lowered my arms and watched the need in his eyes flare.  It made my nipples harden into painful buds and my pussy wet.  I squeezed my legs together, for once not thinking about the chunkiness of my thighs.  The way Ren looked at me, the obvious bulge of his erection against his jeans, made me feel as beautiful as he said I was.

He was undoing his jeans, and I watched with a mixture of anticipation and trepidation, as he pushed them and his briefs down his muscular thighs.  His cock popped free and my anxiety kicked it up a notch.  It looked huge to me, huge and almost angry with the head of it a dark red and a bead of precum at the tip.

He smiled at me as he removed his clothing.  “Nervous?”

“A little.  I’m worried it’s going to hurt and I’m not great with pain.  I did a lot of horseback riding as a teenager so I’m pretty sure that I don’t, like, have a hymen left or anything, so I doubt I’ll bleed, but I’m still…”

Rachel.  Stop talking.  Please.

“Oh God, sorry.” I gave him an embarrassed look.

“For what?”

“I’m babbling.”

“I don’t mind.”  He stepped closer and stroked my hair.  “I’ll take my time, sweetheart.”

“Will you?”

He nodded.  “I’ve waited three years, I can wait a little longer.”

My jaw dropped as he moved closer.  With me on my knees on the bed and him standing, we were the same height.  His hard chest pressed against my breasts and I could feel his dick brushing against my lower belly.  He gathered my hair in his hands and smoothed it down my back.

“Three years,” I whispered.  “You’ve wanted me for three years?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

He slid one arm around my waist and pulled me up tight against him.  “Why?  Because you’re beautiful, because you’re sexy, because you were meant for me.”

“Why did you wait so long?  You knew I had a crush on you.”

He cupped my breast and ran his thumb over my nipple.  “Enough questions for now, sweetheart.”

He kissed me and cupped and kneaded my breasts until hard beats of lust pulsed through my body.  I rubbed against him, made soft mewing noises into his mouth, and clutched at his waist as I forgot my nervousness.  God, I wanted him so much.

When his hand slid into my panties, I spread my legs eagerly, ready for the pleasure he would give me.  He didn’t disappoint.  His rough fingers parted my swollen pussy lips and rubbed against my clit.  He dipped his head and sucked on my nipple as I arched my back and begged for more.

I was already on the edge, and to my relief, he didn’t tease.  Instead he rubbed my clit with firm and steady pressure as he sucked and licked my nipples.  I writhed against him, my fingers digging into his broad back as he brought me to the edge of my climax and pushed me over with a hard tug of my clit.  I moaned and shook against him, the pleasure flooding through my entire body as Ren pushed two fingers deep into my pussy.  I squeezed around him and he groaned before kissing me hard again.

“I need to fuck you,” he whispered against my mouth.

“Yes,” I said.  “Please, Ren.  I’ve waited so long.”

He pulled his fingers out of my pussy and pushed my panties down to my knees.  “On your back, sweetheart.”

I moved to my back and Ren pulled my panties off my legs and dropped them on the floor.  He knelt in front of me and pushed on my knees.  “Open for me.”

The pleasure of my orgasm was fading, and my anxiety was returning.  What if it really hurt?  I wasn’t lying when I told Ren I wasn’t great with pain.  It was embarrassing, but I’d always been a total wimp.  What if I started crying?  Worse, what if I screamed or told him to stop and he didn’t, or he got angry and -”

“Sweetheart.”

Ren’s low voice broke through my frantic inner babbling, and I stared at him as he rubbed the outside of my thighs.  “Trust me.”

I studied him for a moment longer before spreading my thighs wide.  I did trust Ren, trusted that he would do everything he could to make it good for me.

He stroked my inner thighs before leaning down and kissing me.  His cock rubbed against my pussy, but I didn’t feel any anxiety, just a powerful desire for him.  He reached between us and rubbed my pussy before showing me the moisture on his fingers.

“Look how wet you are for me,” he said in a low voice.  “You’re ready for me, sweetheart.”

“Yes,” I whispered as he propped himself above me on one hand and used the other to guide his cock to my entrance.  He pressed the head against me before resting his other hand next to my head.

I closed my eyes as he pushed the head of his cock into me.  He stopped and brushed a kiss against my mouth.

“Rachel.”  His voice was hoarse, on the edge of his control.  “Open your eyes, sweetheart.”

I did what he asked and stared up at him.

“That’s my good girl.  I want you to look at me while I make you mine.  Can you do that?”

“Yes, Ren.”  I clutched at his narrow waist and stared into his eyes as he pushed steadily into my body.  The cords in his neck stood out and I could see a vein throbbing at his temple, but he kept the same slow pace.  To my surprise there was no pain, just an uncomfortable feeling of fullness.  Even that seemed to dissipate as he pushed deeper, and my inner walls stretched around his invading cock.

“Good, sweetheart?”  He groaned.

“Yes,” I whispered, “don’t stop.”

He made another low groan and pushed until his pelvis was pressing against mine.  I was completely impaled on his thick cock and he raised a shaking hand and cupped my face for a moment.  “Now you really do belong to me.” 

“I belong to you,” I whispered.  I meant it.  Every part of me screamed that I was Ren’s and always would be. 

He leaned down and rested his forehead against mine, his warm breath washing over me.  “I have to move.  Are you okay?”

“Yes.  It feels good.”

I’d barely gotten the words out before Ren was moving in and out of me with long, deep strokes.  I stared up at him and didn’t object when he grasped my leg under the knee and lifted it.  He sunk even deeper and I felt a brief flare of pain that quickly disappeared.  His strokes were turning faster and harder.  I wanted to try and match his rhythm, but it was too erratic and he was beginning to thrust so hard that I was bouncing a little on the bed.

I watched his face, fascinated by the way his head was beginning to twist and turn, the way he was starting to pant and moan.  My body was doing this to him.  My body was making him lose control, and I couldn’t stop the smug sense of pleasure I got from it. 

“Fuck,” he muttered.  “Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum.”

I lifted my head and licked his neck, and he groaned loudly and thrust hard and fast before his entire body stiffened.  He threw his head back and cried my name as I felt new wetness flood my pussy.  He shook and pushed in and out for another few strokes before collapsing against me.  He buried his face in my neck and I hugged him tight.  He kissed my skin before rolling off of me.  I laid on my back and stared up at the ceiling.

I was no longer a virgin.  I reached between my legs and touched my pussy, felt Ren’s cum dripping out of me as a small smile crossed my face.

Ren leaned over me.  “You okay, sweetheart?”

I nodded, and he gave me an oddly anxious look.  “You sure?”

“Yes.  It didn’t hurt.”

“Good.”  He kissed me and pulled me closer, nuzzling my neck as his hand stroked from my breasts to my pussy.  “Tired?”

“Yeah.  I haven’t slept well since Friday night.  Are you leaving now?”

“Do you want me to?”

“No.”

“Good.”  He cupped my breast and we laid in silence for a while before he said, “Are you asleep yet?”

I laughed.  “No.  I’m tired but I’m also a little, I don’t know…”

He studied me.  “Do you regret fucking me?”

“God, no.  It was amazing.  Really.  Do you – was it okay for you?”

“Sweetheart, it was better than okay.  It was incredible and well worth the wait.  Your little pussy is so tight, I barely lasted five minutes.”

“I didn’t mind,” I said.  “Of course, I guess I don’t really have anything to compare it to so…”

“Well,” he leaned down and sucked at my nipple until it was hard and fresh need was blooming in my belly, “I guess we need to remedy that.”

His hand slipped between my legs and rubbed at my clit and I moaned and clutched at his arm.  “You want me again?”

“Sweetheart, I never stop wanting you.”

I studied his face before pressing a kiss against his mouth.  “Mads was right.  You are sweet.  The sweetest man I’ve ever met.”

He grinned at me.  “Let me show you just how sweet I can be, Rachel.”

“Yes, Ren.”

 

* * *

 

“Rachel, wake up.”

I grumbled and tried to pull the covers over my head when Ren shook my shoulder.  “Go away.”

He laughed.  “Not a morning person.  Good to know.  Get up, sweetheart.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s eight-thirty and you’re going to be late for work.”

I yawned and stretched before cuddling up against Ren.  “I don’t work until noon today.”

“Shit.  I woke you up for nothing.”

“That’s okay.  I can think of something to do until I have to go to work.” I reached under the covers and stroked Ren’s dick.  He hardened immediately, and I pouted at him when he pulled my hand away.

“What’s wrong?  Do you have to go to work?”

He shook his head.  “No, not until later this afternoon.”

“Then we have plenty of time for sex.”  I didn’t understand his hesitancy.  We’d had sex three times last night and from what I’d heard from Madison, guys loved morning sex.

“No, sweetheart.”

My heart dropped into my stomach.  Shit, was he tired of me already?

He must have seen the sick look on my face because he cupped my face and pressed a kiss against my mouth.  “Only because you’re too sore.  Not because I don’t want you.”

“I’m not sore,” I protested as Ren climbed out of the bed and walked naked toward my master bathroom.  “Ren, I’m not sore.”

“You will be as soon as you start moving around,” he said.  “I’m going to run you a bath.  Stay in bed.”

I relaxed in bed, both a little miffed that he wouldn’t fuck me again and happy that he was being so sweet to me.  He returned in less than fifteen minutes and pulled the covers back.  “C’mon, sweetheart.  Climb into the bath while I make us some breakfast.”

I slid out of bed and started toward the bathroom.  I winced and stumbled, and Ren slipped his arm around my waist.  Shit.  He was right.  I was sore.  At least my thigh muscles were anyway.  My pussy felt a little sore, but it was my legs that were yelling in outrage.  God, I needed to work out more.

“You okay?”

“Fine,” I said grumpily.  “I’m not sore.”

He laughed.  “Then why are you limping?”

“I have some mild discomfort in my thighs, and I believe I mentioned to you last night that I was a wimp.”

He laughed again, and I grinned at him when he kissed the tip of my nose.  “I added some Epsom salts to your bath.  Climb in, little wimp, and soak away your aches and pains.”

 

* * *

 

“Are you sure you got enough to eat?”

I grinned at Ren before opening the dishwasher and sticking my empty bowl into it.  “Plenty.  The oatmeal, pancakes, fruit and toast are about ten times the amount I normally eat for breakfast.”

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”  He cleared the table, handing me each dish to put in the dishwasher before rinsing the dishcloth and wiping down the table.

“You made breakfast, I should be doing the clean-up,” I protested.

“I don’t mind.”  He joined me at the counter, rinsing the cloth again and hanging it neatly over the sink.

He had gotten dressed before breakfast, but I had thrown on my nightgown after my bath.  I’d deliberately not worn a bra or panties in the hopes of convincing Ren to fuck me one more time.  My thighs were still a little sore, but I didn’t care.  Just being around Ren made me horny, and I wanted more of what only he could give me.

“I should probably get going.  You have to be at work in an hour and a half.”  Ren was studying me, and I wondered if I was imagining his ask-me-to-stay look.

I decided there was only one way to find out.

I stepped closer, relieved when Ren automatically put his arms around my waist, and nuzzled his neck.  “I have a better idea.  Why don’t you come to the bedroom and I’ll say thank you for running me a bath and making me breakfast.”

One big hand slid under my nightgown and squeezed my bare ass.  “I don’t want to make you late for work.”

“You won’t.”  I licked his throat, enjoying the way his breath hissed out and the feel of his hardening dick against my stomach.  “Don’t you want to know how I’ll say thank you?”

He grinned at me before dipping his head and kissing me.  I moaned when his tongue invaded my mouth and sucked at it as he rubbed me against his erection.

“Does it involve your hot little mouth?”  He whispered against my lips.

“It might.”  I licked his bottom lip and then sucked on it.  God, Ren was turning me into a sex addict.  “If, you know, you want me to, um, please you orally?

Oh.My.God.

Ren’s laugh sent both lust and embarrassment through me. 

“Oh shit.  That was the least sexiest way to offer a blow job ever, wasn’t it?”

“Sweetheart, just about everything you say turns me on, but we could maybe work on your dirty talk.”

“I’m sorry.  I’m really bad at this.”

“You’re not.”  He bent his head and kissed a trail down my throat before licking along my collarbone.  “You just need practice.  Repeat after me.”

I squeaked when his other hand cupped my breast through my nightgown and his fingers played with my nipple.  I could feel my pussy getting wet as I let me head fall back so Ren could kiss my throat again.  He was talking, but I couldn’t hear past the rapid pounding of my heartbeat.

He pinched my nipple and I squealed loudly.

“Pay attention, sweetheart.”

“I’m trying.  Stop playing with my nipple so I can concentrate.”

He laughed and tugged on my nipple again.  “Focus, sweetheart and repeat after me.”  He bent his head and his voice was muffled against my throat.  In between soft nips and licks, he said, “I want your cock in my mouth, Ren.”

I turned bright red but whispered, “I want your cock in my mouth, Ren.”

“Louder.”

I cleared my throat and tried again.  “I want your cock in my mouth, Ren.”

He cupped and kneaded my breast until I was moaning and arching my back.  He pushed one thigh between my legs and I shamelessly rubbed my bare pussy against him.  “Good girl.  Try this one – Please let me suck your extra-large cock, Ren.”

I dissolved into giggles and poked him in the back.  “Seriously?”

He winked at me before kissing me.  “Fine.  Please let me suck your cock, Ren.”

“Please let me suck your cock, Ren.”

“I need you to be louder, sweetheart.”  He tried for a disapproving tone but didn’t stop me from humping his thigh.  He kissed my neck and exposed upper chest again as he teased my nipple through the soft cotton of my nightgown.

Fuck.  The feel of his hands, the rough fabric of his jeans against my clit had me suddenly, achingly close to an orgasm.

“Ren,” I gasped.  “Ren, I…”

“Say it, sweetheart.”  One big hand pressed against my lower back, holding me still.  I whined my disappointment and he nipped my throat.  “Say it, and then I’ll let you rub your little pussy on my leg until you cum.  That’s what you really want, isn’t it?  You want to cum all over my thigh?  Mark me with your sweet cream?”

“Yes,” I moaned.  “Yes, I want that.”

“Then tell me what I want to hear.”

“Please let me suck your cock, Ren.”

The relentless pressure of his hand on my back didn’t let up.  Feeling delirious with need – I had been so fucking close – I almost shouted it the second time.  “Please let me suck your cock, Ren.  Please!  Please let me -”

“Rachel!”

I screamed, my body jerking against Ren’s.  He pushed me behind him as he swung around to face the person who had shouted my name.  His body stiffened, and he muttered, “fuck” under his breath.

I peered around him, my jaw dropping open.  “Mom?  What the fuck are you doing here?”

Her eyebrows almost disappeared into her hairline.  “You watch your filthy mouth, young lady.”

“I’ve told you a million times that you can’t just walk into my house unannounced.”  My embarrassment and – I’ll admit it – anger at being interrupted, was making my usual tone with my mother harsh and resentful.

“Of course I can, I’m your mother.  What are you doing with him?”  She studied Ren and when her gaze fell on the bulge at his crotch and the wet spot on the thigh of his jeans, her mouth drew down in repulsion.  “Tell me you did not let him have his disgusting way with you, Rachel Eugene Banks.”

Her casual dismissal of my rule and the way she spoke about and looked at Ren, fired my anger into something uncontrollable.  Unstoppable.

“Get out,” I snarled.  “Get out of my house right now.”

Ren’s hand took mine and I gripped it tightly, grateful for his silent support.  “Give me your key and leave.  Immediately.”

My mother’s mouth dropped open.  “No.  Not until you hear what I have to say.”

“I’m done listening to you.  I’m done letting you tell me what to do or what to say or how to act.  This is my life and who I sleep with – no, who I fuck is none of your business.  I don’t care what you say or how you feel about Ren.  I love him and I -”

“He’s a convict!”

I stared wide-eyed at my mother.  “What?”

“He’s a convict, Rachel.  That’s why I’m here – to warn you.  He’s been in prison and I am not allowing my only child to be with someone like him.  He’s not good enough for you.”

Ren dropped my hand and I turned to him.  The look of shame on his face made me want to cry, but when I tried to touch him, he twisted away.

“Ren?  Is it true?”

“Of course it’s true,” my mother snapped.

I ignored her and took another step toward Ren.  He backed away and my heart twisted in my chest.  “Ren, say something.’

“It’s true.”  The words fell from his mouth like bricks.  “It’s true, Rachel.”

I stared dumbfoundedly at him and he grabbed his jacket from the chair.  He walked toward the door, ignoring my mother when she skittered out of the doorway and into the kitchen and gave him a look of fear.

“Ren!”

He paused in the doorway and gave me another brief, shame-filled glance that broke my heart.  “I’m sorry.”

He walked out of the kitchen and a few seconds later the front door slammed.  I slumped against the counter, staring blankly at the floor.  Ren had been in prison.  The quiet, sweet man I was in love with had been in prison.

I guess I should have felt disgust, maybe.  Or was it anger or hurt I was supposed to be feeling?  Ren had lied to me about –

No, he didn’t lie.  You never specifically asked him if he’d been in prison.  You’ve barely asked him anything.  Too busy using him for your own needs, weren’t you?  You’re in love with him, but you can’t even take the time to have one damn conversation with him?  You’re just panting after him like a bitch in heat.

I winced, but my inner voice wasn’t wrong about any of it. 

Still, shouldn’t I have been angry with him for keeping something like that from me?

Maybe.  But instead all I felt was sorrow and an ache in the pit of my stomach.  The way Ren had looked, ashamed and sad and guilty, made me feel awful.  It ate a hole into my stomach and I wanted to comfort him, to assure him that it didn’t matter to me what his past was.

I took a deep breath as the truth of it hit me.  It really didn’t matter.  I didn’t care what Ren had done or why he’d been in prison.  I would ask him and if he wanted to tell me then fine.  If he didn’t, I wouldn’t push him about it.  All that mattered to me was who he was now.  A good, sweet man who didn’t love me the way I loved him but made me feel loved anyway.

“I can’t believe you thought your own mother would lie to you.  You’ve always been too naïve and trusting.  You think I smother you, but you need me, Rachel.”

I blinked at my mother.  I had almost forgotten she was there, even though she hadn’t shut up since Ren left.

“I just knew if I left you to your own devices, you would screw this up.  I can’t believe you were having relations with that man.  Do you have any idea what you’ve done, Rachel?  When word gets out that you slept with him, a bartender and a convict, my reputation will be destroyed in this town.”

“His name is Ren and I love him.”

My mother gaped at me.  “Stop it.  Stop being so difficult.  Now, go and wash his filth off, and then you and I are going to see Father McRoy.  You’re going to confess all of your disgusting -”

“I’m not going anywhere with you, let alone to the church we haven’t set foot in since Dad left fifteen years ago.”

My mother paled.  “Don’t you talk about him.”

“He left, Mom.  He left the both of us and it’s time you get over it and stop interfering in my life.  I know you’re lonely, I know you’re angry, but you need to figure out how to fix yourself and stop trying to fix me.”

I walked toward her and cupped her arms, squeezing gently.  “It’s not your fault that Dad left, okay?  Stop beating yourself up about it and -”

My mother yanked away from me and gave me a disdainful look.  “Of course it’s not my fault.  It’s yours.  You were a terrible baby and an awful child, and all of my attention went to you.  Your father cheated on me because I was too busy with you.  If you’d been a good baby, a well-behaved child, then your father would never have left me.  I would have had more time to see to his needs.  I’ve been alone the last fifteen years because of you, Rachel.”

For the second time in less than fifteen minutes, I was struck silent.  I knew my mother had never gotten over my father leaving us, but I’d had no idea she blamed me.  She was right – I was a naïve little fool.

“You hate me.”  My voice was dull and heavy.  “All these years, you’ve actually hated me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.  I’ve never hated you.”

“But you don’t love me.”  I stared up at her, my stomach churning when I saw the answer in her eyes.

She looked away.  “Get dressed.  We’re going to church and you’re -”

“Stop, Mom.”  My voice was gentle and low.  “Just stop.”

She studied me for a moment and when she opened her mouth, I shook my head.  “We’re done.”

“What do you mean?”

“I love you, I do, but I can’t do this anymore.  I need you to leave and not contact me again.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do.”

Her gaze narrowed.  “You ungrateful little bitch.  All that I’ve done for you, all that I’ve given up for you, you’re going to just tell me that I don’t have the right to see you.”

I nodded.  “Yes.  For now.  Maybe in a few months -”

“Months?”

“Maybe in a few months, we’ll talk again.  But right now, we both need space.  Don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t come and see me.  I won’t let you into the house.”

“You’re abandoning your own mother for a man?  A worthless -”

“Don’t.  Don’t call Ren worthless.”  My voice was harsh, and my mother chewed at her bottom lip before giving me a smoking look of hatred.

“You’re no better than your father.  I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it?  You’re leaving me just like he did for nothing more than a bit of-of dirty, filthy sex.”

I didn’t say anything.  I couldn’t say anything.  The venom and anger spewing from my mother had rendered me silent and I just wanted her to leave.

I wanted to be free.

“He’s a convict, Rachel!  You can’t possibly want to be with someone like that.”

“How did you find out?”  I asked.  “Did you hire someone to dig into his past or did you do the dirty work yourself?”

“All you have to do is Google his name, Rachel!  He’s a bad person and -”

“He’s not.  He’s a good man and I love him.  I won’t apologize for that.”

“He doesn’t love you.  You’re not pretty enough for a man like him.  He’s used to thin girls with pretty faces.”

For the first time in my life, her jabs about my looks didn’t bother me.  I may not have been thin, I may not have had a pretty face, but Ren wanted me.  He wanted me, and he thought I was beautiful.  There was no doubt in my mind about that.

“Fine,” my mother suddenly spat.  “I’ll do what you’re asking, but I hope you’re prepared to come crawling back to me on your knees when that awful bartender breaks your heart.  When he tells you you’re fat and ugly and stupid.  When he -”

“He won’t say that to me,” I said.  “You’re the only one who tells me I’m fat and ugly and stupid.”

Her face flushed, and she straightened her shoulders before marching toward the kitchen door.

“Mom?”

She turned, her face already triumphant and smug.

“The key.  Give it back.”

She hesitated, and I sighed.  “I’ll just change the locks.”

She dug in her purse and pulled out the key, throwing it on the floor in a fit of temper.  “You’re going to regret this decision.”

“Good-bye, Mom.”